Worst music videos of the 80s

Can we finally put an end to the MTV tributes following the network's 25th anniversary? Let's face it: It wasn't necessarily MTV that changed the music industry -- it was the art form of videos. (And MTV stopped airing videos a LONG time ago).

And while we cherish many music videos from the 80s (click here for the top 50 music videos list), there are some that are just painful to see.

Five worst music videos of the 80s:

5. New Year's Day, U2: They're riding horses and performing in the snow. Well, not really performing, since there are no amps and Larry Mullen Jr. is holding and banging on just one drum. (view)

4. Heat of the Moment, Asia: These guys weren't video-friendly in the first place. The constantly changing TV screens will make you nauseous within 30 seconds. (view)

3. Uptown Girl, Billy Joel: I don't like car mechanics having so much fun at work. And Billy's face is glowing an odd color -- almost Umpa Loompa orange. (view)

2. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, Wham!: Neon "Choose Life" shirts and very bad dancing. Oh yeah, and George Michael. Kill me now. (view)

1. Separate Ways, Journey: Air guitars and Steve Perry in a muscle shirt. What's scary is that someone came up with the idea for this stink-bomb ... and Journey ok'd it. (view)

(Want to see the two worst videos of all-time? Of course you do. Here's one and here's another. Enjoy.)

Five more awful videos: Click here to see a new list of 5 bad music videos.

[Video image; click to enlarge]

Comments

[paul]

Where is Rico Suave?

[Bassnote]

At This Moment - Billy Vera & The Beaters

[Fester]

How could you miss Billy Squier's Rock Me Tonight? It killed a career in less than five minutes.

[Dan]

You can't diss Journey. Seperate Ways might clearly be the funniest video ever made. Intentially? Of course not. But the end result was the same.

[LockBull]

I always kinda dug Carl Palmer's drumming in the Asia video, especially his toss-catch-and-bam! to start the pretentious prog-rock outro...

Now it is time to attack another Sacred Cow. The Clash's video for "London Calling" absolutely sucks. It's horribly lit, grainy, poorly edited and slightly out of sync with of the music. Don't get me wrong, I love the song, but the video is just terrible. It galls me that some call this video a masterpiece.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiVbkHhJUzw

[Spears]

I think Rico Suave came after 1989, thankfully.

[Dennis]

well, won't consider New Year's Day a milestone, but there is easily worse ones.. what about Heartbeat Like A Drum by A Flock Of Seagulls, Meaning Of Love by Depeche Mode, Hot Hot Hot by The Cure?
(although I love all those bands, but the videos... better not to comment on...)

[David P]

I'd agree that Billy Squier's "Rock Me Tonite" is the worst, but others that come to mind include Dennis DeYoung's "Big Chill"-inspired video for "Desert Moon" and "Method of Modern Love" by Hall & Oates.

[Damian P.]

Another vote for "Rock Me Tonite" here. The horror...the horror...

"Rico Suave" was from 1991.

[Greg Williams]

Some of my picks:

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers - "Don't Come Around Here No More" - Not big on the Alice & Wonderland, eating cake out of Alice thing. Kinda ruined AiW for me for life..."Stop!" - PLEASE!

"Bad" - Michael Jackson - The "unedited version" I remember watching on MTV during its debut. You could almost hear the wind howl with scowl at the "zipping of the fly".

"Hello" - Lionel Ritchie - It made me laugh...I don't know why...

Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" - I hated that song, so much...so very, very much...The video accentuated my hatred even more. So very, very much...

"I Eat Cannibals" - Total Coelo - All I can say is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvyidUOJRyA - Eye bleach may be needed. I think they somehow thought they were trying out for MJ's "Thriller" video.

"Never Gonna Give You Up" - Rick Astley - All he does is stand there and simulate shooting you with his finger pistols...Hey Rick, disco called...they want their beat back.

"Say Say Say" - Paul McCartney with Michael Jackson - The video played on some form of Mississippi Riverboat entertainment something or other...it got old...then again, it was played on MTV 1,000 times a week during its peak.

"Somebody's Watching Me" - Rockwell - The only good thing was Michael Jackson's melodic chorus. Something Rockwell was going to do hisself. He better be glad MJ did it.

"We Built This City" - Starship - Rolling dice down the downtown strip...yep...lame! They shoulda dropped more acid before writing up the video.

"Party All the Time" - Eddie Murphy - Why do we want to see the "Making of Party All the Time" disguised as a music video? That look of ecstasy on Rick James (bitch!)'s face as Eddie hits the long "tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime" note is classic.

And finally, this is a (dis)honorable mention...but I came across this one and just had to share it.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8610362188397291938

In advance, I do want to apologize profusely. But that chest of Danny's is...so...hypnotizing........plus it looks like Meat Loaf might have intro'd the video...

[DC]

Omigod..I'm still reeling from that Armi and Dani video.

[Bassnote]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! What the hell was that!!! I have been perminently scarred!

[Carla]

I know I'm a little late here..but I have to say, while "Seperate Ways" is not one of Journey's finest... it is by NO WAY the worst video ever! I mean, come on...was 'Fish Heads' named??

[David Pagano]

You know what's fun? Pause the Separate Ways video randomly and enjoy the magic of Xtreme Steve Perry facial expressions.
Also, dig the keyboarist's claw technique.