Vinnie Barbarino! What happened? Worst movies of the 80s (Nos. 41-50)
We're cutting into the bone of our Worst 80 movies of the 80s list. Today's list takes on some cherished flicks for some movie buffs -- Dirty Dancing, Flash Gordon -- while dismissing a few others that every life form on earth should detest. Enjoy the bile. (Click here to see the list of 51-60, 61-70, 71-80)
Today's biggest losers: John Travolta's slow slide into the deepest, darkest pit of his career begins today. The salvation of Pulp Fiction is just a distant light for him.
50. Dirty Dancing (1987): Jennifer Grey, Patrick Swayze. Tagline: "Dancing to the beat of their hearts." One critic said: "This might have been a decent movie if it had allowed itself to be about anything."
49. Quicksilver (1986): Kevin Bacon, Jami Gertz. Tagline: "Winning is a feeling you never lose." One critic said: "It's enough to give eighties nostalgia a bad name."
48. Look Who's Talking (1989): John Travolta, Kirstie Alley. Tagline: "He's hip, he's cool, and he's only 3 months old." One critic said: "This flabby comedy ... deserves only one thing: to fall on its fat one."
47. Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981): Bo Derek, Richard Harris. Tagline: "Unlike any other "Tarzan" you've ever seen!" One critic said: "This could be really funny if the comedy were intentional. Sadly, it's not."
46. Going Overboard! (1989): Burt Young, Adam Sandler. Tagline: "The love boat was never quite like this." One critic said: " It makes Billy Madison seem like Citizen Kane."
45. The Toy (1982): Richard Pryor, Jackie Gleason. Tagline: "When Jackie Gleason told his son he could have any present he wanted, he picked the most outrageous gift of all... Richard Pryor." One critic said: "Heavy-handed social commentary, cheesy slapstick and kiddie comedy aren’t the most compatible of components to shoehorn into one movie."
44. Best Defense (1984): Dudley Moore, Eddie Murphy. Tagline: "Unfortunately, they're both on our side."Pointless, lifeless, nonsensical."
43. Two of a Kind (1983): John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John. Tagline: "It took a twist of fate to make them two of a kind." One critic said: "Be careful not to keep sharp objects around, or you may find yourself slicing your own ears and eyes out to keep yourself from having to endure anymore of this travesty than you really have to."
42. Flash Gordon (1980): Sam J. Jones, Melody Anderson. Tagline: "He'll save every one of us!" One critic said: "Is all of this ridiculous? Of course. Is it fun? Yeah, sort of, it is."
41. Best of the Best (1989): Eric Roberts, James Earl Jones. Tagline: "A team is not a team if you don't give a damn about each other." One critic said: "A resounding defeat that was never really close."
Relive the music, movies and culture of the greatest decade ever with Times online editor Steve Spears. A teen during the decade, Steve is obsessed with everything from Duran Duran to Journey, John Hughes to John Cusack, and parachute pants to Reaganomics.
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Posted by: SmooniBuind | July 22, 2007 at 09:40 PM
Posted by: | June 25, 2007 at 06:55 PM
I LUVVVVVVV THE MOVIE DIRTY DANCING IT'S THE BEST THING OUT THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=)=)=)=)
Posted by: Katy | March 20, 2007 at 10:11 AM
Best of the Best, wasn't that bad of a movie. I mean it's a 80's chessy martial arts flick, that happens to be one of my favorite movies of all time.
Posted by: Anthony Simpson | September 21, 2006 at 08:20 AM
If a chick was writing a list like this, Dirty Dancing would be their Number One of the 1980's -
Guys, this movie serves as a means of trying to figure out what goes on in a chicks head and find out what they want.
When I think back to when this movie was popular, I just cringe.
Posted by: Ren Fisk | September 20, 2006 at 11:01 AM
I had the pleasure of watching Dirty Dancing dubbed in german once. Let's just say the line: "No one puts Baby in the corner" was lost in translation.
Posted by: Christina | September 13, 2006 at 08:28 AM
Sorry, but I am a girl and I hated Dirty Dancing - I'd say its not a girl thing. So far I've been agreeing with this list all the way - though I still like Look Who's Talking despite the fact that I know it is bad.
Posted by: Nabila | September 13, 2006 at 12:44 AM
Check the angular vector of the moon!
Posted by: Dr. Hans Zarkov | September 12, 2006 at 07:38 AM
Six started it! She's quoting from a 70s movie! If you average her quote with my quote, you're back in the 80s. Plus, if I ever get to do a podcast about A Few Good Men, I have a really great story I could tell about the girl I saw the movie with. Very bizarre.
Posted by: Steve Spears | September 12, 2006 at 03:11 AM
Um, Steve, "A Few Good Men" came out in the 90's... what are you doing quoting it?
Posted by: Max | September 12, 2006 at 02:32 AM
Here's another one: "I eat breakfast 100 yards from 2,000 80s fans who are trained to kill me. So don't think you can come in here, quote me a line from Grease and scare me."
Posted by: Steve Spears | September 11, 2006 at 08:23 PM
No way does "Dirty Dancing" and "Look Who's Talking?" belong on here! You guys are on crack.
Riddle me this, guys: How come all the movies you hate are about relationships and all the movies you love are about T & A?
You guys are lower than amoebas on fleas on rats. You're too low for even the dogs to bite. <--- Hmm... where's this quote from?
Posted by: Six | September 11, 2006 at 08:03 PM
I am proud to say I never saw Dirty Dancing... until my friend made me watch it about 5 years ago because I had a blank look on my face when she said that line about putting baby in a corner. I still don't get the attraction to the film--my mom buying a soundtrack is usually a good clue I won't like the film.
Posted by: Christine | September 11, 2006 at 07:03 PM
My wife loves Dirty Dancing. I was never a big fan, but there are much worse movies.
I also thought Look Who's Talking was worth a chuckle. I liked Bruce Willis's voicing the thoughts of the baby.
The only good thing about Flash Gordon was the music by Queen.
Posted by: Bassnote | September 11, 2006 at 05:11 PM
I've never watched "Dirty Dancing", proud to say. My Senior Prom theme was "The Time of Our Lives" and I detested that song. Still do.
As for "Look Who's Talking", I enjoyed that movie. Was worth watching albeit only once. Never saw the other two.
I also liked "The Toy" back in the day. I thought Richard Pryor did a good job in the role. Sad to see that Scott Schwartz tainted my mind by going into porn. I still think Schwartz's best role was Flick in "A Christmas Story". Your tongue does stick to the flagpole in cold weather...
Posted by: Greg Williams | September 11, 2006 at 03:27 PM
You might be right. There is just something about Dirty Dancing that is addictive. I recall seeing this movie in the theatres at least half a dozen times. And even twice in one evening. Although there were guys I knew at the time who liked the movie too but I am willing to bet they let go of it's hold long ago.
I admit it's not a good movie, even then I thought so, but there is just something about it that draws you in.
Where's Sixx? I am sure she has some two cents to put in here.
I will say I have to disagree with Look Who's Talking. Looking at it now, I think it is a little cheesey and definitely dated but at the time, it was just pure fun.
Posted by: 80sfan | September 11, 2006 at 01:24 PM
Dirty Dancing may be a gender thing. It seems that every female I know is absolutely crazy about this movie. My mother loved it, my sister never misses it on cable, and my wife even has the special edition DVD. Hope they don't catch wind of this blog (and you thought those TRON lovers were fanatical...)
Posted by: Glenn S. | September 11, 2006 at 12:48 PM