Plunging down to the Land of the Lost

As Hollywood continues to recycle old TV shows into new movies over and over again, there's one TV show they've been missing out on that's sacred to anyone who grew up in the 80s. Let's see if these three names give it away: Marshall, Will and Holly.

Yes, I'm talking about Land of the Lost. And even though it was a late 70s show on Saturday mornings, I dare any of the early 80s gang out there to not sing along with me: "Marshall, Will and Holly, on a routine expedition, met the greatest earthquake ever known. High on the rapids, it struck their tiny raft. And plunged them down a thousand feet below."

The Sid and Marty Krofft classic ran from 1974 to 1976. Featuring the three lost human adventurers, a monkey boy named Chaka and lizard-like hissing henchmen called Sleestak, this has got to be ripe pickings for idea-starved movie makers, right?

According to the official Land of the Lost website (no, I'm not kidding), Universal currently holds the movie rights to the series and writers are busy putting together a script, with actor Will Ferrell set to star as Rick Marshall. (Fans of Kevin Smith movies will smirk, remembering that Ferrell played the character Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly in "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"). Adam McKay is attached to the project right now as director. (He also directed Ferrell in "Talladega Nights" and "Anchorman.")

As always, Stuck in the 80s has its own casting suggestions:

Rick Marshall (the dad): Go ahead and let Ferrell play him, on the condition that he has to be the straight guy this time around. No more Ricky Bobby or Ron Burgundy please. Think more along the lines of Frank the Tank from Old School. If Ferrell falls through, pick up David Hasselhoff.

Will Marshall (the son): How about Screech from Saved By The Bell? Dustin Diamond is apparently taking the Traci Lords path from porn to B-movies. But if you think I've picked the most obnoxious person to star in this movie, you're not even close yet. Because up next ...

Holly Marshall (the daughter): I'm going with Nicole Richie here. Why? Because she'll make Dustin Diamond's acting feel like Dustin Hoffman's. And because obviously, she needs the lunch money.

Chaka (monkey boy): Because very little makeup would be involved, I'm going with Clay Aiken. (Also in consideration: Leonardo DiCaprio and the little red-headed kid who plays Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter movies.)

Sleestak: Did you know that former Pistons great Bill Laimbeer played one of the Sleestak on the show? No wonder they gave me nightmares. I say let Bill have his old job back.

Calling out Mr. Axl Rose

The Stuck in the 80s blog and podcast has been fortunate in the last few months to snag several cool 80s celebrity interviews: Adam Curry, Stan Ridgway, Patty Smyth and Rick Springfield. So when the news broke that Guns N' Roses was touring again and they planned a stop here in Tampa Bay at the St. Pete Times Forum, I immediately began to ponder the possibilities....

An interview with Axl Rose. Ahh, that's the flavor.

But I'm putting my money on this outcome: No way does Axl agree to meet with us. And I have my reasons (in list format, of course).

Five reasons Axl Rose wouldn't want to talk to Stuck in the 80s:

5. He doesn't need us. He's in the headlines plenty, albeit usually in some dark light. Anna Nicole Smith, Lindsey Lohan, Deborah Lafave, Kevin Federline ... they'd have to combine all their evil powers to reach Axl's level on his quietest day.

4. We're not his core audience anyway. Stuck in the 80s fans have distinctive tastes in music, preferring the pop and new wave that made the decade great. Not the whacked-out, West Coast whammy guitar rock that lead to the end of the 80s fun.

3. What album would he pimp during the interview? He's been working on "Chinese Democracy" since the days I feathered my hair back and wore navy blue corduroys. It's still nowhere close to being on store shelves. I guess I could ask questions about the rumors that he slept with Liza Minelli.

2. My bet? The show gets canceled anyway. Axl is a legendary no-show. In 2002, the band canceled a show in Vancouver at the last minute, sparking a riot. Their entire tour was later called off when Axl showed up late for a show in Philly.

1. In a fair, backstage pre-rockshow brawl, I'm thinking me and pop critic Sean Daly can easily take Axl and gang. Axl will be testy when he discovers I've gotten some mileage out of mocking him in on this blog. (Here and here and here.) But come fight night, they'd be hopped up on liquor and tiny cocktail sandwiches; Sean and I will be juiced on our usual preshow spread of lukewarm energy soda and sugar-injected Willy Wonka Runtz candy. No rope-a-dope needed for this one.

Come and get us, Axl. Oh and bring us a copy of that new CD if you can.

Olivia Newton-John vs. Linda Hamilton

Two of the sexiest screen sirens of the 80s share a birthday today: Olivia Newton-John (58) and Linda Hamilton (50). Don't let their ages fool you -- any testosterone-driven 80s fan would gladly crawl through broken glass for either of them. Paris Hilton will look more like her chihuahua than an actual human when she reaches their age.

But what if you had to choose to take just one out for a special birthday dinner?  Let's go to the stats:

Movies:
Olivia: Grease, Xanadu, Two of a Kind
Linda: The Terminator, Black Moon Rising, Mr. Destiny
Edge: Linda, since the only thing good about ONJ's later films is the music.

Secret talents:
Olivia: singing, roller-skating, grilling shrimp on the barbie.
Linda: personal training, advanced weaponry.
Edge: I'm couple-skating with Olivia.

Signature line:
Olivia: "Tell me about it ... Stud."
Linda: "Come on. Do I look like the mother of the future?"
Edge: We're hopelessly devoted to Olivia here.

Painful blowoff line:
Olivia: "Your a fake and a phony and I wish I never laid eyes on you. "
Linda: "You're terminated ..."
Edge: Ouch, I've had both those lines delivered to me. No winner here!

In real life:
Olivia: Latest boyfriend missing since fishing trip in 2005.
Linda: Married and divorced Terminator director James Cameron.
Edge: So, they're available, right? Tie again.

Final winner: Olivia Newton-John in a squeaker. Go queue up Grease and remember, if you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.

Podcast roadtrip, part 2

We're enjoying the rock-star life here at Stuck in the 80s, so we're hitting the road again this weekend for another public appearance and show taping. This Saturday night (Sept. 30), we'll be recording from the Tampa Theatre 80th anniversary party. The Balcony Club is throwing a "Pretty in Pink" bash -- actually an 80s-prom theme party, we're told. (Click here for details.) And Stuck in the 80s has been invited to record our weekly show from the event.

What do we have planned? We're going to mingle with the masses, my friends. We're bringing a boat-load of swag to giveaway to fans and winners of our 80s trivia challenges.

So pull out those John Hughes flicks and Police CDs and start studying. This is a chance for our local fans to appear on the show. Some possible trivia questions? Sure, here you go:

1. In the movie "Pretty in Pink," what's the name of the bar that Andie (Molly Ringwald) goes to with her friends?

2. Who plays the love interest of Marc Singer in the 1982 movie The Beastmaster?

3. On "Three's Company," what was the name of Jack Tripper's restaurant?

4. Name the NFL running back who broke the record for rushing yards in a single season in 1984.

5. What a cappella song won the Record of the Year Grammy in 1988?

We Are the 80s podcast now online

Our podcast chronicling our trip to the We Are the 80s concert last night in Clearwater, Fla. -- featuring an exclusive interview with Rick Springfield -- is now online. Click here to listen or click here to subscribe to the series for free on iTunes.

We started recording our show on the way to the concert, kept talking from our dressing room, from our seats, saving our comments about the show, interviewing fans and -- of course -- interviewing the bands that played, including Rick Springfield.

Some highlights from this week's show:
-- Times pop critic Sean Daly shares his embarrassing story about his first-ever concert back in Hersey, Pa.
-- In a phone interview before the day of the show, Patty Smyth tells us why she passed on the opportunity to join Van Halen, why the 80s still rule, and why hubby John McEnroe is the greatest guy in the world (thus crushing my aspirations to steal her away).
-- Our host at Ruth Eckerd Hall was Jill Holcombe, who kept the musicians streaming in and out of our dressing room all night. Without her, we'd have been lost. Plus, she kept giving us water and scores from the Gator game.
-- We sneak into Eddie Money's dressing room, and are shocked to find he only wants Wonder Bread, beef jerky and mustard to eat before the show.
-- A Springfield fan tells us she met Rick on her honeymoon back in 1984 -- and would have left her husband in a second if the Rickster had asked.
-- Loverboy visits with us in our dressing room. The rocking Canadians are real down-to-earth and we talked music and touring.
-- Right as the Loverboy boys sit down, Rick Springfield walked into our room. We freaked, not knowing what to do. So we asked Rick to come back in 10 minutes. We were shocked he didn't just blow us off.

-- As promised, Rick Springfield sat down with us and answered questions for 20 minutes. Wearing a gray t-shirt with a bunny and the words "I (heart) everyone," Rick was attentive and provided some GREAT answers to our questions. When it came time to get a photo with our hero, co-host Cathy Wos jumped inbetween Rick and Sean to get a closer snuggle of her heartthrob.

This podcast is a must-listen.

Our between-the-acts comments from our seats are amusing too. But if you want a little more detail about the actual music, here you go.

A quick of review of the night

Here's a quick rundown of the acts from last night's show:

Scandal: Patty Smyth and Scandal took the crowd by surprise with their set, wowing everyone with her strong vocals and their tight playing. The concert hall exploded with their signature tune The Warrior. She and the band stuck around afterward to sign autographs and mug for photos with fans in the concourse.

Loverboy: Someone on the sound board cranked the volume to 11 for the Loverboy set . So when vocalist Mike Reno hit the high notes -- and he does that quite well, thank you -- you get the feeling your brain is about to explode. They squeezed as many of their hits as possible into their 45 minutes. The highlight was "Working for the Weekend" -- the end-of-the-workweek anthem for the last 25 years. But it still sounded fantastic. That song was meant to be played live.

Eddie Money: Most of the time Eddie was on stage, the Stuck in the 80s gang was backstage interviewing Loverboy and Rick Springfield, so we caught his act over the music feed into our dressing room. I feel bad about that, but that's how things work out. He sounded great though and he was able to get all his hits into his show along with some covers of some oldies before his time. (By the way, his dressing room door had his real name -- Edward Mahoney --- on it, along with a photo that has to be from a high school yearbook.)

Rick Springfield: If you were in doubt who the show headliner was, it was erased here. Dressed in a black, sleeveless tux shirt, Rick hit the stage fast and furious. He got around to almost all his hits -- and a few newer songs for the fans -- singing half the songs from audience. Sipping red wine and hot tea (he had a cold that night), he told the fans he was looped on cough syrup and just wanted to have some fun. Mission accomplished.

For the full review of the show, along with interviews with the stars, download our podcast.

Oh my god! Rick Springfield!

I don't know what else to write, except maybe: Yeah, we just spent 20 minutes alone in our dressing room with Rick Springfield.

Cathy can't sit down yet. She's pacing the room, glowing, giving us the impression that something more than an interview was taking place. Sean's busy typing away his review of the shows tonight. We're distracting him by singing along with Eddie Money, who's performing one floor below us as we wrap things up here.

Some Springfield interview highlights:

-- Rick is indeed ill with a cold tonight, but he'll play on. He's canceled only one show before due to illness.

-- He's opening with a new song tonight, "What Killed Rock n' Roll." That ought to surprise his fans. And it shows some real moxy.

-- He's met the biggies in the music biz, including Paul McCartney and Elvis (even though he wasn't much of an Elvis fan at the time.)

That's about all for our live blogging tonight. Hope you enjoyed it. We'll catch Rick's show in about 20 minutes and then head back to the newspaper to produce the show and put it online before we go to bed. Eddie's singin' "Take Me Home Tonight" below us, so that must be our queue.

Thanks Patty Smyth, Mike Reno and Loverboy, Eddie and Rick. You made the 80s live again for us tonight.

Two bands down, two to go

Loverboy just left the stage here at the We Are The 80s tour and I can still hear "Working for the Weekend" rattling around my head. Loverboy was the very first band I saw in concert -- they opened for Journey back in 1981. And the rocked again tonight. I shook hands with Mike Reno on the way up here.

We're not sure on the crowd size here, but it looks like a full house.

Sean was distracted by the puddle of vomit in the row ahead of us. Not the sorta sight we expected at this show, but we appreciated the effort.

Our host here at the concert hall just walked in to tell us that Rick Springfield has arrived and will be up to see us in 15 minutes.

Waiting for our first guest

Hello again from backstage at tonight's We Are the 80s show in Clearwater. They just opened the doors for fans below us, and we're expecting our first musician visit -- Patty Smyth -- any minute now.

We continue to make trips up and down the hall, peeking inside dressing rooms and just enjoying the experience. Here's Loverboy's dressing room, just two doors down from us.

Greetings from backstage

Hey 80s fans -- your Stuck in the 80s crew is now finally backstage in our own dressing room at Ruth Eckerd Hall in Clearwater, Fla., for tonight's "We Are The 80s" concert. Sean's pacing around, sweating and shooting out ideas for our podcast later tonight.

Meanwhile, we got some bad news: Rick Springfield is feeling a bit ill tonight. He's still performing tonight, but we won't be meeting with him until 9:15 -- not before the show as we thought.

We just snuck into Eddie Money's dressing room and checked out his spread. Not exactly what you'd expect.

The big day arrives

Tonight is the big "We Are The 80s" show here in Tampa Bay, Florida, and the Stuck in the 80s roadcrew is busy getting ready for our backstage podcast. Rick Springfield has pledged to spend a half hour with us before he takes the stage, and we're hoping to have visits with Loverboy, Eddie Money and Patty Smyth, who spoke with me earlier this week.

We'll try to keep the "Dr. Noah Drake" questions to a minimum and ask the Rickster about his music -- both then and now. If you haven't been keeping track of him, Springfield recently released a CD of cover songs -- The Day After Yesterday, including outstanding versions of "Life In A Northern Town" and "Under The Milky Way."

We'll try to post some blog items live from backstage, but if we can't, come back later tonight for our online review of the show, photos from backstage and our special podcast, which should be online by about 2 a.m. Sunday.

If you're planning to attend the show, look for Cathy, Sean and me in the audience. We should have our audio podcasting equipment with us, making us fairly easy to spot. Come say hello and we'll put you on the show.

We're a mere 8 hours away from the curtain rising now. Let the frivolity begin.