These movies are all foam and backwash: Worst 80 movies of the 80s (Nos. 51-60)

A couple of obscure but dreaded films grace today's installment of the Worst 80 movies of the 80s. Consider yourself lucky if you weren't forced to watch "Harry & Son" as your sole source of entertainment on a bumpy transatlantic flight two decades ago.

Today's losers: The people at the airlines who choose in-flight movies. (My mental scars run deep.) Also, Hollywood's older stars, who litter today's list like crushed, empty cans of Schlitz in a Delta Airlines lavatory.

(Click to see movies 61-70 and 71-80.)

60. Masters of the Universe (1987): Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella. Tagline: "Only the universe could hold adventure this big!" One critic said: "Little kids at play have come up with craftier plots, better characterization and conceivably more spectacular effects -- provided their mothers let them play with matches."

59. Harry & Son (1984): Paul Newman, Paul Newman. Tagline: "They're two men with nothing in common. They're father and son." One critic said: "This movie looks like the aftermath of an explosion in the story department."

58. Blue City (1986): Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy. Tagline: "It's below Miami and above the law." One critic said: "This movie set out to leave a dead 90 minutes in my memory, and it succeeded. "

57. Homer and Eddie (1989): James Belushi, Whoopi Goldberg. Tagline: "She's ruthless - He's witless." And ... "From the director of Tango And Cash." One critic said: "Probably more unpleasant couplings are imaginable, but none springs immediately to mind."

56. Inchon (1981): Laurence Olivier, Jacqueline Bisset. Tagline: "War Changes Everything." One critic said: "A misfire of epic proportions, one of those cinematic rarities where absolutely EVERYTHING is bad."

55. Wicked Stepmother (1989): Bette Davis, Barbara Carrera. Tagline: "Which witch is which?" One critic said: "So catastrophically bad that it would be foolish to imply that something serious is going on underneath its campy surface."

54. Megaforce (1982): Barry Bostwick, Michael Beck. Tagline: "There has never been a superhero like ACE HUNTER!" One critic said: "Turn off every logic circuit in your brain and just watch this for the sheer spectacle ... Mind you, a shiny rock can occupy me for hours."

53. Take This Job and Shove It (1981): Robert Hays, Art Carney. Tagline: None found. One critic said: "Witless film that doesn't live up to its title about tensions between labor and management."

52. Like Father, Like Son (1987): Dudley Moore, Kirk Cameron. Tagline: "Chris and his dad have accidentally changed bodies - but no big deal." One critic said: "This plays less like a movie than like a penalty for the losers on a game show."

51. Young Einstein (1988): Yahoo Serious, Odile Le Clezio. Tagline: "In 1905 he discovered relativity... In 1906 he invented rock and roll." One critic said: "It's an ugly question but someone's gotta ask: Did Crocodile Dundee and Pee-wee Herman have a child? If not, then who's this Yahoo Serious kid with the Aussie accent?"

Sneak preview of tomorrow's list: More Swazye and Travolta and a very early look at Adam Sandler.

Comments

[Marissa]

I watched Young Einstein. Isn't there a big musical number in that? ::checking IMDb::: Yep, Rock and Roll Music. I think mass amounts of alcohol were consumed whilst watching this one, yet I still remember parts of it.

[Keith]

Ah, Masters of the Universe...starring a young Courtney Cox with bad 80's hair. It also featured Christina Pickles as the Sorceress, who would later play Courtney's mother on "Friends."

I'll admit that this is one of my guilty pleasures and I do own it on DVD. But then again, I grew up watching the original cartoon. I know it's bad. Like, really bad...but for me, it's nostalgic and I like it.

[Will Shaw]

Ugh...LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON was the first movie I ever saw alone, at age 10. I'm sure I liked it at the time 'cause it had teens who had their own cars and punched out the (surprisingly violent) bully at school, etc., etc. Dudley Moore's love scene was so awful to witness ("Let's touch each other!") that I remember always leaving the room when it came on.

[Ren Fisk]

Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy... Blue City. All I remember is the bottle of hooch one of my friends stole and one of us puking and dry-heaving. "Come on... it ani't that bad."

[Jeff in Buffalo]

Now here's a big list of crappers. Well chosen!

[Glenn S.]

I took my newphews to see Megaforce at the Mission Bell Plaza in Carrollwood (recently demolished to make way for a home improvement superstore, sigh...) Something was wrong with the projection system and the picture was distorted during the first reel. The screen ratio was wrong, and the picture had a reddish tint. My newphews just thought it was part of the movie. Finally the picture got better. The movie didn't.

[Greg Williams]

I saw Like Father, Like Son in the theater. It was okay, not great. The others I haven't heard of or seen. Or both...

I'm still stinging with that TRON thing...we need to get TRON guy out here...

[Damian P.]

'Young Einstein' did have one line I liked: "Time to split the beer atom. Where's that chisel?"

[Bassnote]

Like the last poster, I have seen very few of these films. I feel like I just walked though a cow pasture and managed to keep my shoes clean. Well, not completely clean (I did see 51 & 52).

[Christine]

wow, i've seen exactly none of these films. dodged a few bullets there...