Stocking stuffer: The Cube is back

There's nothing puzzling about the appeal of this 80s icon. The Rubik's Cube was an icon of the decade -- what the Pet Rock was to the 70s or the Chia Pet was to ... oh, hell, nobody wants to claim that as their icon.

Difficult to solve but even more difficult to give up on, the Rubik's Cube was invented by Erno Rubik in Hungary in 1974 but didn't reach the U.S. until 1980. More than 100-million of the puzzles were sold between 1980 and 1982. 

You might be surprised to know the Rubik's Cube phenomenon is still going strong. Today, Hasbro, which acquired the puzzle's U.S. rights in 2002, sells several hundred thousand of them each year, according to the company.

The Cube could see another surge in popularity with the December release of the Will Smith movie The Pursuit of Happyness. The movie is based on the rags-to-riches story of Chicago millionaire Chris Gardner (played by Smith). The Rubik’s Cube plays a role in the movie as a way to showcase the resolve and skill of Smith, who's able to solve the puzzle quickly. (The Fresh Prince recently appeared on Oprah to promote the movie and solved the puzzle fast in front of the audience.)

Of course, learning the solve the puzzle quickly is the real challenge. Cube champion Tyson Mao was brought to the movie set to train Will Smith.

Some more Cube trivia:

• Sheets of colored stickers were once sold to enthusiastic but frustrated puzzle owners who couldn't solve the puzzle. They could simply replace the stickers to make it look solved.
• A standard cube has 43,252,003,274,489,856,000 possible positions.
• All cubes can be solved in 27 or fewer moves.

Tomorrow on Stuck in the 80s: An interview with Rubik's Cube champ Tyson Mao and his tips on how to solve the puzzle.

There's something about Ben

Ben Stiller, better known for his work in the 1990s and beyond, actually got his start in the '80s ... like all true geniuses.

Stiller, who turns 41 years old today, is best known for his roles in There's Something About Mary, Reality Bites, Meet the Parents and Dodgeball.

But here's a quick look at his '80s work:

Hot Pursuit (1987): John Cusack plays a student chasing his girlfriend's family through the Caribbean. Look for Ben (and his father Jerry) playing the boat hijackers. I know many people disagree with me here, but this is a highly underappreciated 80s movie.

Empire of the Sun (1987): Say what you want about Saving Private Ryan, but I consider this one to be Spielberg's true WW2 classic. Starring a VERY young Christian Bale and John Malkovich as detainees in a Japanese prison camp. Ben plays "Dainty," an American also interned at the camp. He gets the great line: "Hey Kid. Would you like a Hershey Bar?" Bale replies yes, leaving Stiller with the punchline, "Me too, you got one?"

Fresh Horses (1988): Molly Ringwald and Andrew McCarthy in the movie that pretty much signals the end of the Brat Pack's teen dynasty in Hollywood. Where's John Hughes when you really need him? Look for Ben playing the part of "Tipton" but don't blame him if you didn't enjoy the rest of the movie. Dare I say -- not a classic.

Next of Kin (1989): Say what you like about a movie centered around hillbillies who come to the big city to avenge a brother's murder. (Trust me, it's all been said.) But this movie had an impressive cast: Patrick Swayze, Liam Neeson, Helen Hunt. Bill Paxton, and yes, Ben Stiller playing a small role too. Just sit back and enjoy all the fake accents.

It'd be the last small role for Stiller, who would start the vastly underappreciated "Ben Stiller Show" on TV the following year. His latest film, Night at the Museum, opens Dec. 22. Happy birthday, Ben.

Other '80s birthdays today: Bo Jackson (44) and Billy Idol (51).

Clobbered by a cartoon?

Could it be that Madonna has finally "jumped the shark?"

The rating numbers are in for her highly touted TV concert last week. (Drumroll please.) The headline: A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving beat Madonna by 5 million viewers.

Five million! According to the Washington Post, the 1973 cartoon beat the Material Girl in every age category. Other shows last Wednesday night that also beat her: William Shatner's "Show Me The Money" and Univision's Spanish language soap.

If you missed her televised concert, you get another chance this Thursday. Bravo TV is airing it again at 8 p.m. Eastern time. Finally the right place for Madonna: Wedged between episodes of Top Chef, The Real Housewives of Orange County and reruns of The West Wing.

5 things Americans would rather watch on TV than a Madonna concert:
5. Reruns of "One Day At A Time"
4. "America's Got Talent"
3. "2006 Scripps National Spelling Bee"
2. "Teen Choice Awards"
1. Dead air.

That's Mr. Nelson to you

He's known by many names: Bender, Alex Newbary ... even Nick Peretti or Jack Richmond to fans of the 90s. All signature characters by Judd Nelson, who turns 47 years old today.

Best known as John Bender in The Breakfast Club, Nelson's career has had its peaks (St. Elmo's Fire) and its valleys (Blue City). He won over a new generation of fans in the 90s and beyond with roles on TV's Suddenly Susan (with fellow 80s star Brooke Shields) and the 2001 flick Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, cast by writer/director Kevin Smith -- a big-time fan of Nelson and his 80s films.

These days, Nelson is still hard at work as an actor, with parts in several TV movies and stage productions in the works. His latest work is Netherbeast Incorporated, a vampire comedy/horror flick set in Corporate America, co-starring Darrell Hammond, Jason Mewes, Robert Wagner and Dave Foley. It's due out in 2007.

In an interview last year on themanroom.com website, Nelson explained the myth behind his 1980s Brat Pack image. "We got lumped together as a generation of actors as if we were hanging out together. I was living in New York at the time and I seldom travel three thousand miles to have a beer with someone."

We'd travel three thousand miles to have a beer with you, Judd.

Top 5 Judd Nelson lines:
5. "That's Mr. A--hole to you." (St. Elmo's Fire)
4. "Is this one of those black things?" (New Jack City)
3. "Bea Arthur?... Outstanding." (Airheads)
2. "Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?" (The Breakfast Club)
1. "Demented and sad, but social." (The Breakfast Club)

A concert worthy of royalty

Word out of the mother country is that British princes William and Harry are making plans for a huge concert to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the death of their mother, the late Princess Diana.

The concert would be held July 1, 2007 in Wembley Stadium. Diana, a worldwide icon since her 1981 marriage to Prince Charles, died Aug. 31, 1997, with her boyfriend Dodi Fayed and their driver when their car crashed in the Pont d'Alma tunnel in Paris.

The list of musicians to perform hasn't been established yet, though Elton John is rumored to have already committed. Word has it Madonna and Beyonce will be invited as well.

Since Diana started out as an 80s icon -- and the concert will be held in the ultimate 80s concert venue -- here's our recommended list of acts to invite. It's an all-U.K. bill, so Madonna -- fake accent and all -- can tear up her invitation right now, thankyouverymuch:

Thompson Twins: They haven't been together since their early 90s ... so they're well-rested. Queue up "Doctor, Doctor," "Hold Me Now," and finish with "King for a Day." (I believe that one is Prince Charles' favorite ditty.)

Duran Duran: The lovely lads from Birmingham reportedly were Diana's favorite band. And even Andy Taylor would return for this gig. I'm guessing she'd want to hear "Save a Prayer," "Rio," "Planet Earth" and a set-ending "Hungry Like the Wolf." (Get William's girlfriend, Kate Middleton, to add the closing moaning effects.)

Queen with George Michael: Bring back Brian May, Roger Taylor, John Deacons. Now book Cheech-and-Chong wannabe George Michael to handle the lead vocals, as he did so expertly in the Freddy Mercury Concert for Life show back in 1992. Start with "One Vision," go to "Who Wants to Life Forever" and finish your set with "Somebody to Love" and revel in all the glory.

Elton John: Yes, yes. Elton can perform. But he has to play in the Donald Duck costume from the late 70s. And he's not allowed to play "Crocodile Rock" or "Honky Cat," the most obnoxious tunes in his collection. He is required, however, to play "Kiss the Bride" and "Tiny Dancer." And yes, he can end it with "Candle in the Wind" ... if he insists.

There you go, Will and Harry. I've done all the hard work. Just click "print" and get to work. (And send my press pass via priority mail, if you don't mind.)

Learning from Traci, Emilio and George

So Britney Spears made a mistake. We all do. I still remember the time I had two female friends give me a haircut so I'd look more New Wave-ish. They basically shaved the sides of my head. I looked like Anthony Michael Hall in Weird Science or Matthew Broderick in Ladyhawke. It took a stylist $30 to get it back to normal afterward.

Maybe it's time for Britney to look to her Hollywood and pop peers from the 80s for advice on how to disavow a big mistake:

George Michael
Best known for: Shaking his denimed butt while singing "Faith."
Trying to live down: Repeatedly falling asleep stoned at the wheel.
His solution: Send your husband out to fetch some McDonalds.
Would it work for Britney: She's trying to work off the McDonalds now, it looks like.

Robin Givens
Best known for: co-star of "Head of the Class."
Trying to live down: marriage to heavyweight moron Mike Tyson
Her solution: Accuse him of spousal abuse on national TV ... with him sitting right next to her.
Would it work for Britney: Unless Kevin bit off a piece of her ear, probably not.

Lisa Bonet
Best known for: playing Denise Huxtable on "The Cosby Show."
Trying to live down: being fired by Cosby after appearing in sex scenes with Mickey Rourke in the film Angel Heart.
Her solution: Threatened legal action; ending up with her own show - A Different World.
Would it work for Britney: Her sex tape with K-Fed reportedly doesn't exist now, so she probably couldn't score more than a Pudding Pop from Cosby.

Traci Lords
Best known for: appearing in up to 100 adult films in the 80s.
Trying to live down: Only one of those films was made after she turned 18 years old. Oops.
Her solution: Gave up porn, went to acting school and starred in a series of B-movies and TV series.
Would it work for Britney: Maybe Britney should try singing and songwriting school first.

Emilio Estevez
Best known for: co-star of Breakfast Club, Repo Man, St. Elmo's Fire.
Trying to live down: short marriage to no-talent, American Idol shill Paula Abdul.
His solution: Converted acting career into directing career. His latest movie -- "Bobby," about the death of Robert F. Kennedy -- opened this month.
Would it work for Britney: I'm not sure anyone would trust her directing even a Pop-Tart commercial, but it's worth a try.

'Smiles, everyone... smiles!'

Say what you like about Bill Cosby, Heather Locklear or ... god forbid... Bronson Pinchot, but to me, the face of TV in the 80s -- especially the early 80s -- was Ricardo Montalban, who turns 86 years old today.

Montalban's career stretched from the 1940s to the present day, where he's most often found doing voice work for animated features ("Ant Bully" was his latest). But his two signature pieces of work have to be Fantasy Island (1978-1984) and 1982's Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Kahn.

Some trivia about Montalban:

• Montalban originated the character Khan Noonien Singh in a 1966 episode of Stak Trek on TV.
• He loved the Khan character so much, he agreed to reprise it in the 1982 movie for only $100,000.
• Fantasy Island was revived by ABC in 1998, with Malcolm McDowell playing the role of Mr. Rourke. To contrast with Montalban, McDowell wore a black suit.

Top 5 favorite Ricardo Montalban quotes:
5. "From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee." (Star Trek 2)
4. "Let them eat static." (Star Trek 2)
3. "You're asking me to risk imprisonment for the sake of two fugitive apes? The answer is- a thousand times- YES!" (Escape from the Planet of the Apes)
2. "Kirk. You're still alive, old friend." (Star Trek 2)
1. "Smiles, everyone... smiles!" (Fantasy Island)

A few more names for their list

Atlantic Monthly just published its list of 100 most influential figures in American history. Quite the undertaking. (More impressive than my list of 80 funniest comedies of the 80s? Well, Chevy Chase only made one of the lists and it wasn't Atlantic Monthly's.) The top 5 are not surprising (Abe Lincoln, George Washington, Tom Jefferson, FDR and Alexander Hamilton). But how many 80s icons made the list? Just three.

Ronald Reagan is ranked highest, at No. 17. Bill Gates is there at No. 54. Sam Walton rests at 72.

Some other 80s icons who surely would be worthy of the list: Michael Jackson, Donald Trump, Jesse Jackson, Sandra Day O'Connor and Bill Cosby.

Spending Thanksgiving with John and Steve

Does your Thanksgiving feel a little incomplete? Maybe you forgot the basics: Enjoying a classic flick from the 80s with the ultimate holiday feel. I'm talking about Steve Martin, John Candy and Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

Some say this 1987 flick was John Hughes' true masterpiece. It's certainly his best "grown-up" film. But does it beat out Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller? Steve Martin reportedly has said it's his favorite film starring himself. (No, Steve ... Parenthood was slightly better.) Ah, leave the debate for the day after Thanksgiving. For now just enjoy this film for what it's worth.

First a little trivia to whet your appetite:

• Though primarily known as a Steve Martin-John Candy flick, it also features appearances by 80s favorites Kevin Bacon, Lyman Ward (Ferris' dad), Ben Stein and Michael McKean.
• There are multiple references to Hughes' next film -- She's Having a Baby -- sprinkled through the film (it's playing on the TV in the motel room for one).
• The film got an R-rating for a 60-second-long F-word tirade by Martin at the rental car counter. During that span, he uses the word 18 times.
• John Hughes shot more than twice the footage of most movies at that time. A 3-hour version of the movie actually exists, though the director has said it would take tons of editing and production to get it ready for viewing.

Top 5 printable quotes from Plains, Trains and Automobiles:
5. "Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!"
4. "If they told you wolverines would make good house pets, would you believe them?"
3. "St. Louis to Chi-town is booked tighter than Tom Thumb's ass."
2. "If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the john and watch you take a leak. Now are you gonna help me or are you gonna stand there like a slab of meat with mittens?"
1. "Those aren't pillows!"

American Music Awards -- 1986 style

Did you miss the American Music Awards last night? That's OK. Aside from a Kevin Federline joke or two, word has it that it was a night to forget. So instead, let's take the time machine back 20 years ago and see who cleaned up in the 1986 American Music Awards.

Why, it's Bruce Springsteen! Aww, we miss Bruce. Come back and save us, Boss! We can't take much more of today's slop.

1986 POP/ROCK WINNERS

• Bruce Springsteen: Favorite artist, favorite album (Born in the USA), favorite video artist.
• Tina Turner: Favorite female artist.
• Chicago: favorite band or group.
• The Power of Love (Huey Lewis): Favorite single, favorite video.
• Pat Benatar: favorite female video artist
• Wham!: Favorite group video

Feel young again: Cheap Trick

Can you honestly say you forgot? Forgot the magnetism of Rob Zander or the charisma of Rick Nielsen?

It's time to salute Cheap Trick on our Stuck in the 80s podcast. Click here to listen or click here to subscribe to the entire series for free on iTunes.

Cheap Trick is the perfect band to fire up on ye ole record player when you need to feel young again. Nothing like cranking up "Surrender" extra loud when Zander talks about catching the parents making out to his KISS records. If that song doesn't make you jump out of your skin and start air-guitaring, then you're clinically dead. Neidermeyer? Dead!

Highlights from this episode:

• Times pop critic Sean Daly insults fans of this blog for their love of the game.
• Co-host Cathy busts Steve for his singing and overall unacceptable behavior.
• We tell all the great stories from seeing Cheap Trick in concert a few weeks ago, including Steve's Amazing Bladder, T-Shirt Discrimination and Taco Fest 2006.

Plus, plenty of music. All the hits. We all have our favorites, but alas...

The official Stuck in the 80s list of top 5 Cheap Trick songs:
5. If You Want My Love: "Lonely is only a place."
4. I Want You To Want Me: "I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me."
3. Dream Police: "They persecute me, they're the judge and jury all in one."
2. She's Tight: " I start to fantasize of memory lane. Then she answers and she says right way."
1. Surrender: "Mommy isn't one of those, I've known her all these years."

How to throw an 80s holiday party

It's not too late to plan a holiday or New Year's party that your friends will worship you for forever. (Well, as long as they're 80s fans. Otherwise, you may be mocked for all eternity.) Here's a quick guide:

TIMING: Personally, I think an 80s party works best for New Year's. But you're the boss. In any case, choose a date now and send out invites, because it takes people a while to acquire props for this sort of occasion.

DRESS CODE: Oh sure, you can ask people to dress in an 80s motif, but chances are they'll need some help with suggestions.

Want something super-easy: Go as a punk-rocker. Tear up an old t-shirt, buy a short-length of chain to make into a necklace, use some gel or hairspray to get your hair standing up. Don't do what my friend Whitney back in high school did: He stuck a safety pin through his cheek for added authenticity and spent the next day in the emergency room.

Other ideas: A vintage concert shirt is easy ; so is dressing as an 80s TV character (Magnum P.I., Capt. Stubing, Greatest American Hero); your favorite musician (Madonna, Pat Benatar); a film icon ("Lloyd Dobler" from Say Anything or "Alex" from Flashdance.) Try 80stees.com for more ideas.

THE MUSIC: Are you kidding me? Please tell me you don't need help on this. Any music retailer offers dozens of compilation CDs from the Golden Decade. But if you're looking for some can't-lose singles that might be harder to find, here you go: Rock Lobster (B-52s); Strip (Adam Ant); Our House (Madness); She's Tight (Cheap Trick); Valley Girl (Frank Zappa); Rock Me Amadeus (Falco); Kiss Me Deadly (Lita Ford); King of Wishful Thinking (Go West); Don't Cry (Asia). And of course, use "1985" by Bowling for Soup. (But under no circumstances can you use "1999" by Prince.) Take the best tunes of the night, burn them onto CDs and hand them out as party favors when people leave.

THE FOOD: Food is hard. Sushi was big, but that's a challenging party food. Other possibilities: Microwave popcorn, pudding pops, nachos, fried cheese sticks, Skittles, Reece's Pieces, Pop Rocks and pizza rolls. At least the 80s were cheap.

THE DRINKS: Ah, now you're talking, Amigo. Wine coolers are a natural. But so are rum-and-Cokes, Kamikazees, Grasshoppers, Fuzzy Navels, Long Island Ice Tea, Milwaukee's Best or Keystone beer and more. For the non-drinkers, try Capri-Sun, Fresca, Tab and Jolt Cola. Want to get a little crazier? Spike a watermelon, if you can find one, with some grain alcohol, if you really want to kick it old school.

THE ENTERTAINMENT: Aside from the music, put your favorite 80s movies on TVs around the house. Just turn the sound down. There are two great board games in stores to help: Trivial Pursuit's Totally 80s edition and VH1's I Love the 80s board game. Too tame? Try a lip-sync competition or find a friend with a karaoke machine. Too lame? Well, then maybe an 80s party isn't for you!

Now that you're all set, remember the final step: Invite the gang from Stuck in the 80s over for the party! We need to get out more!

No TomKatting around here

If you were hoping for coverage or commentary on Saturday's Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes wedding, look elsewhere. Because unless Tom cancels the ceremony and instead announces plans to star in a musical stage version of "All The Right Moves," I won't be saying a thing.

10 things worth discussing more than the TomKat wedding:

10. Why do 80s stars like Billy Idol and Twisted Sister insist on recording Christmas albums? It can't just be the money, can it? (Because nobody is going to buy either CD.)

9. Joan Cusack has a food show on the Travel Channel. Yes, it's more entertaining than anything Rachel Ray could put out.

8. Who at the World Music Awards thought that booking Michael Jackson to perform would help boost their credibility? (Possibly the same genius behind booking Lindsay Lohan as the host.)

7. I know Duran Duran would like to find a younger generation of fans, but is hiring Justin Timberlake as producer the best way to do it? No wonder Andy Taylor quit. How long until the fans follow?

6. Slate's website tackled the question that's been plaguing ... well, nobody: Who was the best rock band of the 80s -- REM or U2? Actual answer: Neither. It was The Replacements.

5. Speaking of 80s battles, which is the best comic strip of the decade: Bloom County or Calvin & Hobbes? Actual answer: Neither. It was The Far Side.

4. Favorite MTV veejay from the 80s? Martha Quinn will always hold a special place in the heart (and pants) of every teen male during that time, but Adam Curry is the correct answer. Check out his Daily Source Code podcast. Brilliant! (Adam, I'm a folder.)

3. Best John Candy flick? I'm going with Planes, Trains and Automobiles, which by the way is the perfect movie to watch for the Thanksgiving holidays. (Second place: Stripes.)

2. Thomas Dolby is the most Internet savvy artist from the 80s. His website has a killer blog and podcast. And he's touring the States right now, so check for a show near you.

1. OK, one TomKat mention. I'm taking bets now: Will the TomKat marriage last longer than the Britney-KFed marriage? Let's just hope that when both travesties are over, all four of them disappear from the public consciousness for at least 5 years.

6 movies to watch before Thanksgiving

Sad to say, but the Thanksgiving holiday didn't inspire a ton of movies back in the 80s. But if you're desperate to get into the mood for turkey (not Wild Turkey, which you should be in the mood for all the time), here are your best bets:

Hannah and Her Sisters (1986): Mia Farrow, Michael Caine. " I had a great evening; it was like the Nuremberg Trials."

Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987): Steve Martin, John Candy. "We'd have more luck playing pick-up sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak." (More on this movie)

About Last Night (1986): Rob Lowe, Jim Belushi. "Oh, that's great, Dan. I tell you I'm a thief and you call me a liar." (FYI, this movie also works for Christmas, New Year's and St. Patty's Day.)

Since the list is a little short, I'm going to grandfather in these flicks from the early 90s:

Home for the Holidays (1995): Holly Hunter, Robert Downey Jr. "Nobody means what they say on Thanksgiving, Mom. You know that. That's what the day's supposed to be all about, right? Torture."

Son In Law (1993): Pauly Shore, Carla Gugino. "Oh, my God, it's Bartles or James. Dude, which one are you?"

Dutch (1991):  Ed O'Neill,  Ethan Embry. "Frankly, I don't care if you live, die, or grow mushrooms in your crack."

"I'm gonna make you rich, Bud Fox"

Our latest Stuck in the 80s podcast is now online. Click here to listen or click here to subscribe to the series on iTunes.

This week's topic: The 1987 flick Wall Street, starring Charlie Sheen and Michael Douglas, who won an Oscar for playing corporate greed-monger Gordon Gekko.

In this show:
-- Find out what A-list stars were offered or wanted the roles made famous by Sheen and Douglas.
-- Listen as Oliver Stone explains why he places women in less-than-flattering roles in his films.
-- Discover what savory scenes were cut when the movie was trimmed by 40 minutes for theaters.
-- Daryl Hannah -- hot or not? Join the debate.

Some other Wall Street trivia:
-- Oliver Stone appears in the movie in one montage. His infant son, though, plays the part of Gordon Gekko's son.
-- Jack Lemmon was considered for the role of Bud Fox's father -- a role that went to Martin Sheen.
-- Trading scenes were filmed on the actual New York Stock Exchange trading floor during business hours using real traders.

Enjoy the podcast. Feel free to leave any feedback below as a comment.

Big surprise: Jacko performance a flop

Remember all the buzz about Michael Jackson making his big comeback by performing "Thriller" at the World Music Awards? It was a bust.

Rather than sing his 1983 classic as previously announced at last night's show in London, Jackson instead chose to sing the chorus from "We Are The World" -- yes, our pick for worst song of the 80s -- with a choir of children surrounding him. (Creepy!) When Jackson reached for but failed to find the high notes, the song ended abruptly, leaving the crowd and critics baffled.

"It was enough to make you cry. And not in a good way," one review in a London newspaper said.

One media outlet even reported that Jacko was booed off the stage. Not a good payoff for the World Music Awards organizers, who had to supply a private jet, 20 first-class plane tickets and reserve an entire hotel to accommodate the former star.

R.E.M vs. U2?

Has everyone seen the article on Slate.com by now? Their writer poses the question: Who was the best rock band of the '80s -- R.E.M. or U2?

Sounds vaguely like an argument that Times pop critic Sean Daly and I would joust over in a Ye Ole Time Blog Battle. I'm guessing he'd want to take U2 and stick me with defending R.E.M.

For some reason, it doesn't seem like a fair comparison. It's like asking, who's your favorite sports team -- the Tampa Bay Bucs or the Chicago Cubs. They're not playing the same game. Likewise, the bands' lyrics and messages were nowhere close to being similar. The guitar work by The Edge and Peter Buck were mirror opposites. Bono and Michael Stipe comparatively have the personalities of Penn and Teller. Really the only thing they had in common was the timeframe.

Two of my favorite albums of the 80s were by these two bands: U2's Unforgettable Fire and R.E.M.'s Lifes Rich Pageant. I own them both on CD and play them often, which proves the real answer to Slate's question is: Just enjoy both bands and instead focus on the real questions of the 80s, like:

• Best Daryl Hannah movie of the 80s: Blade Runner or Reckless?
• Why is Dan Aykroyd singing in "We Are The World"?
• Worst Tom Cruise movie of the 80s: Legend or Losin' It?
• How did everyone suddenly learn how to dance at the end of Footloose?

[Click here to listen to our U2 podcast from 2005]

"He's a blood-thirsty monster!"

A favorite newspaper comic strip from the 80s -- Calvin and Hobbes -- has come to life ... albeit in the form of a cartoon from Robot Chicken on the Cartoon Network.

Long before Calvin was demoted and forced the appear on NASCAR fan rear windows, urinating on either Ford or Chevy emblems, he was the co-star in the comic strip drawn by Bill Watterson. The strip ran from 1985 to 1995 and at its height of popularity appeared in more than 2,000 newspapers.

Click here to find out what would really happen today if a 6-year-old boy believed his stuffed tiger was real.

"The vicious tiger shows no mercy!"

Quick trivia quiz:
1. What do Calvin's parents do for a living?
2. Name Calvin's babysitter.
3. Name his school teacher.
4. Who are the characters Calvin and Hobbes named after?
5. What's the name of Calvin's anti-girl club?

[Photo: Robot Chicken]

Still hungry like the wolf

Duran Duran is back at work on a new album, and they've enlisted some big-time help on the project. Justin Timberlake and Timbaland are lending a hand in producing several of the songs, according to the Associated Press.

"We've got some good stuff happening," Simon LeBon told the AP. "We are in a very good space."

Amusingly, the AP story also quotes bassist "Josh Taylor," rather than John Taylor. I think losing one Taylor is enough this year. (Unless the actor from Days Of Our Lives and Beverly Hills 90210 really is the new bassist.)

The band continues to make appearances and performances without original guitarist Andy Taylor, who called it quits last month. And unlike their hey-day in the 80s, the critics seem to be warming to the music now, if recent reviews are any indication.

"I certainly don't long to relive the '80s," critic Greg Haymes wrote in the Albany, N.Y. Times-Union after show in town. "(But) I've got to admit that it was a real kick to hear those pinging synth-drums once again on Hungry Like the Wolf."

"Another suburban family morning..."

Quick quiz: What album dethroned Michael Jackson's Thriller from the top of the charts in late 1983?

Yep, that'd be The Police's Synchronicity, the band's fifth and final studio album. And it's the topic of this week's Stuck in the 80s podcast. Click here to listen or click here to subscribe to the whole series for free on iTunes.

Some highlights from this week's show:

• Hear Cathy's story about how her sister nearly killed her because of the song "Mother."
• Find out why Steve has fond memories (and why his girlfriend had heaving pains) from a 1985 Sting concert.
• Cringe as Sean test the boundaries of good taste. Again. As usual.

Some trivia about the Synchronicity album that maybe you didn't know:

• VH1 named it the 50th best album of all time.
• Rolling Stone was less generous, naming it the 455th best album.
• The cover's artwork is available in 36 different variations (the color stripes and photos change).

Enjoy the show. Next week's topic: "Greed is good."

Surrendering to Ribfest

The Stuck in the 80s crew caught Cheap Trick live at "Ribfest 2006" in St. Petersburg, Fla., last night. I'm not sure what was more surprising: 10,000-plus people all showing up to see Cheap Trick, or the fact that Cathy, Sean and I managed to meet up at the show with about 5 minutes of planning.

A lot of the once-mighty 80s acts have made their way through Ribfest over the years: REO Speedwagon, Eddie Money, Loverboy and, coming up later this weekend, Toto. I've never really wanted to see any of the shows before --  probably out of some weird type of respect for them. I felt sad that my favorite bands were reduced to playing the food festival circuit. But I hadn't seen Cheap Trick live since 1988, and I was getting desperate. Plus, the weather down here in Florida right now is pretty close to perfect.

Singer Robin Zander (now a local resident), guitarist Rick Nielsen, bassist Tom Petersson and drummer Bun E. Carlos haven't lost a thing over time. Zander's voice felt as strong today as 20 years ago. Nielsen switched out guitars nearly every song, pulling out the crowd-favorite five-neck guitar for "Surrender."

The band is promoting their new CD "Rockford," but the crowd didn't mind the new tunes mixed in with the classics. "Perfect Stranger," their first single off Rockford, even had the crowd singing along right from the first verse. The band saved "Dream Police" for an encore, and ripped through it with the energy of musicians half their age.

All in all, a great show. I won't be so snobby about Ribfest again.

It takes a Village, People

No, the Village People didn't disappear with the stroke of midnight on Jan. 1, 1980. Truth be told, it was probably that dreaded 1980 movie Can't Stop The Music with Steve Guttenberg and Bruce Jenner -- and yeah, the end of disco -- that did them in. They're still around today in fact. In 2004, they were the opening act for Cher's farewell tour. And in a few weeks, they're playing the Hong Kong Convention center in China, and a "private show" in Melbourne, Australia on Nov. 28. Hmmm.

But if you really want to see a real time capsule back to the year 1985, just take a look at their video for the song Sex Over The Phone.
 

Oh my. That's three minutes and 46 seconds of your life that you can't get back.

Hollywood goes insane

You better have a seat for this news. (Axl, go ahead and have some Jagermeister. It's ok). Christopher Walken is set to play Ozzy Osbourne and Val Kilmer will play David Lee Roth in a movie about the band Motley Crue.

Singer Vince Neil told ABC News Radio in an exclusive interview that Walken will make a cameo as Osbourne in "The Dirt," adapted from Motley Crue's 2001 autobiography. Ozzy toured briefly with Motley Crue back in the early days and, according to the band's book, took acid every day for a year to see what would happen. Likewise, David Lee Roth, then the lead singer for Van Halen, was a good friend of the band in their L.A. days, partying and crashing in their dingy home.

The parts of Neil and the rest of Motley Crue will be played by unknowns, the singer said. (I say let them play themselves. I'm not sure I can take any more creative casting for this flick.)

The book -- "The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band" -- became infamous after publication for its tales of substance abuse and sex parties with Neil, Tommy Lee, Mick Mars and Nikki Sixx.

The movie is expected to be released in 2008.

5 reasons Guns N' Roses should call it quits

Have you heard the latest dirt on Guns N' Roses? It seems that Axl Foley ... umm, I'm sorry ... Axl Rose and his anonymous bandmates canceled a show in Portland, Maine, this week after state officials told them they couldn't drink alcohol on stage.

The band usually likes to swill some beer, wine and Jagermeister during their concerts, but fire marshals were concerned over nearby stage pyrotechnics. A statement from Rose read: "I agree with, and ultimately take responsibility for, the end decision not to jeopardize the safety of the fans, the crews, the bands and myself as a result of the methods of these particularly draconian authorities."

My guess is the band didn't really want to play at all. In fact, I'm surprised their tour is still continuing. Usually the over/under on GNR tours is 10 days. When they played Tampa last month, the band pulled all the media credentials on the day of the show in an effort to keep the press from reviewing the show. Then they didn't take the stage until after midnight. Nice, Axl.

5 reasons Guns N' Roses should call it quits:
5. Their new album, Chinese Democracy, will arrive in stores about the same time democracy will arrive in China.
4. With all that plastic surgery, Axl is looking more like Danny Bonaduce every day.
3. Can't play without drinking? Here's how it works. Let the fans drink. The musicians drink then play. Unless you're Bon Scott, and we all saw how well that worked out.
2. Good timing to form a rap/rock act with Kevin Federline.
1. Jagermeister? At your age, Axl? And people say I'm stuck in the 80s.

[Guns n' Roses vs. AC/DC -- check out our podcast]

That's so RAD!

Would you like a little cheese with your '80s? Then check out this clip from the 1986 movie RAD, starring Bill Allen and Lori Loughlin (who was much better in "Secret Admirer").

Much thanks to long-time listener Peter Ryan of Montreal, Canada, for sending me the link to the clip.

Are you '80s enough for ABC's Wife Swap?

ABC's Wife Swap is looking for an '80s-obsessed family to star in the third season of the TV show. For those who haven't seen it, the unscripted reality show's premise is this: For two weeks, two wives from two different families exchange husbands, children and lives (sorry -- not bedrooms) to see what it’s like to live a totally different life.

"I want to find an awesomely 80’s family who is actively keeping the '80s alive in their everyday life – from the music that they listen to, to the way that they dress, right down to the appliances and video games systems that they use," says Meghan McGinley, a casting producer for ABC Television.

The show's only requirements are that families live in the continental U.S., consist of two parents and at least one child between the ages of 7-17. McGinley says the family would receive a "generous honorarium" for participating.

Imagine the possibilities here: Stick some country music wife into the '80s household and watch her spontaneously combust after listening to Men Without Hats and playing "Asteroids" on Atari for 14 straight days. Or pity the poor 80s wife who's subjected to two weeks of Kenny Rogers on eight-track tape and "Hee Haw" re-runs.

If you'd like to apply for the show, contact Meghan McGinley at 212-404-1473 or e-mail her at meghan.mcginley@rdfusa.com. Please make sure to tell her you read about this on the Stuck in the 80s blog!

Reliving his gory days

Michael Jackson is giving his career a much-needed face-lift. Organizers of the World Music Awards say Jacko will perform "Thriller" at next week's ceremony in London. I guess the attraction is that he doesn't need any special effects or makeup these days to make the transformation from human to zombie.

Jackson also will receive the "Diamond Award," which honors artists who have more than 100-million in album sales. Actress Lindsay Lohan, whose public image desperately needs its own resuscitation, is hosting the award ceremony.

Has anyone heard of the World Music Awards before now? Granted, I'm no fan of music award ceremonies. They're phonier than Madonna's adoption papers. More predictable than a Nicolas Cage action flick. And generally as unnecessary as "MTV's The Real World: Detroit."

Past recipients of the Diamond Award include Bon Jovi and Rod Stewart. Yeesh. Maybe "Thriller" doesn't sound so bad after all.

[Love the album Thriller? Click here to listen to our Thriller podcast]

Say Anything? How about "Go Away!"

I'll bet my weekly Stuck in the 80s stipend that Kevin Federline is no 80s movie fan. But now that Britney Spears is divorcing him, he's gonna have some "alone time." (As one blogger put it: "When asked why the earth suddenly feels like it's spinning faster, scientists said it's because Kevin Federline just fell off the face of it.")

And the 80s, it turns out, is chock full of great movies to help make a broken heart feel even worse. Like the feeling of having Kirstie Allen sit on your chest. Or members of Culture Club stabbing you in the back. (But still not as bad as listening to Billy Idol singing White Christmas.)

Recommended viewing list for K-Fed:

SAY ANYTHING (1989): "Kevin ... Kevin ... she's written 65 songs. They're all about you. They're all about pain."

LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN (1982): Just like the character Gary, Kevin will soon be driving around, crying while listening to James Ingram. ... And paying prostitutes for sex too, of course.

HEATHERS (1989): Poison K-Fed with drain cleaner and pass it off as suicide? Too obvious. But as with Christian Slater's character, it's never too late to tie 50 pounds of explosives to him and light a fuse.

THE OUTSIDERS (1983): I'm thinking Kevin's the kinda guy who thinks "Soc" bad-boy Leif Garrett is a role model. Plus, like Leif, he's always got that singing career to fall back on.

ST. ELMO'S FIRE (1985): Think Rob Lowe, sitting in the back of the bus, driving away, never to be heard from again. Now switch him out with Kevin Federline. See? It did have a happy ending.

[Click here for the Say Anything and the Heathers podcasts]

Kirstie dares to bare

A proud confession: I never watch Oprah. Never. Not two seconds. Not since her last notable appearance, which for me was in 1985's The Color Purple. To me, everything she's done since then has been a dreadful waste of her time. But when Oprah's show featured 80s "could-be" vixen Kirstie Alley dropping her clothes and prancing around in a bikini on the show this week ... well, you gotta at least glance at the TV.

The 55-year-old Cheers actress once consumed as much as 8,000 calories a day. (Jagermeister-filled doughnuts maybe?) But that was 75 pounds ago. Today, well, it makes you want to go back and watch her best work from the 80s all over again.. Or at least list them while you leer at the photo. (Sorta reminds me of the Princess Leia bikini photo -- minus Jabba the Hutt.)

Top 5 Kirstie Alley flicks from the 80s:
5. Runaway (1984): Anytime you play the girlfriend of Gene Simmons, that's a plus.
4. Look Who's Talking (1989): A tolerable movie that Bruce Willis and John Travolta would probably rather forget about.
3. Star Trek 2 (1982): Kirstie as a Vulcan in her first big-screen role? That's logical.
2. Loverboy (1989): Kirstie seduces Patrick Dempsey? That's not logical!
1. Summer School (1987): The most underrated movie of the 80s? You bet, thanks to Kirstie and Mark Harmon.