Got 5 minutes? Here are your 5 movies
Lately, I find myself staying awake to all hours of the night to catch the first five minutes of the movie Caddyshack 2. (Pause for you to scream out in disgust and disapproval.)
The reason why just the first five minutes? Because Jackie Mason doesn't appear yet and because you get to hear the epic (and highly underappreciated) theme song by Kenny Loggins -- "Nobody's Fool."
Song ends, I flip the channel and continue my search for a better movie. Or at least one in which Dan Aykroyd doesn't talk in a strange pinched voice and wear camouflage. (Oddly enough, it's not an easy quest.)
Which 80s movies are worth turning on for just the first 5 minutes? Great question. And what do you know, I actually have a list.
FIVE MOVIES TO WATCH ONLY FOR THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES:
5. Club Paradise (1986): Robin Williams has an icicle hanging out of his noise, nearly dies in a fall from a high-rise and then suddenly is living large in the Caribbean. All in the first five minutes. The rest of the movie? A few good Peter O'Toole lines and little else.
4. A View To A Kill (1985): The worst James Bond movie of the entire franchise. But stay tuned just long enough for Duran Duran's title song. Then go hunt for "The Spy Who Loved Me" on a different channel.
3. The Jazz Singer (1980): Basically a music video (before such things really existed) for Neil Diamond's song "America," set in New York City. After that, you're forced to watch him actually act.
2. Caddyshack 2 (1988): Tune into next week's Stuck in the 80s podcast -- our interview with Kenny Loggins -- in which he actually sings a line or two of the theme song for us. No kidding.
1. Purple Rain (1984): You can figure out the entire plot of the movie from the moment Prince says "Dearly beloved..." to his final "Crazy!" on "Let's Go Crazy." But skip the rest of the movie and you miss the legendary Morris Day, who deserves to make enough royalties from this movie to never work another day in his life.






U2's Bono is now officially a "Knight Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire." It's sorta like being Knight Rider, only with far less hair gel. The honor was bestowed upon Bono for his work to defeat poverty and disease in Africa. 
A remake of Teen Wolf -- the werewolf flick made infamous by
Rush has a 

Maybe you remember: It was directed by Christopher Guest, McKean's co-star in Spinal Tap, and the director of Waiting For Guffman, Best in Show and A Mighty Wind.
Surely you can't forget: The late J.T. Walsh as the sleazy studio executive and Terri Hatcher as the casting-couch wannabe. And a great music video for a band called Pez-People playing "Don't Fire Until You See The Whites of Their Eyes." Die-hard fans of the movie continue to search fruitlessly for a copy of the song on the Internet.





It's well established now that Adam Sandler really is Stuck in the 80s -- even though just one of his films appeared in that golden decade. (
Calvert DeForest, a fixture on David Letterman's late-night TV shows as the character Larry "Bud" Melman" died Monday in Long Island at age 85. 
Today's Retro-review: 1988's Alien Nation, starring James Caan and Mandy Patinkin. 


We haven't picked on Tom Cruise lately. I can't explain exactly why, since he's in a three-way race with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton for celebrity most in need of never-ending abuse (all competing in the special "We don't wear underwear, but shave our legs in public bathrooms" division.)

Wha?? I mean Flavor Flav! The founding member of Public Enemy turns 48 today. What sort of birthday will the hip-hop star enjoy? One that probably won't include a Marilyn Monroe "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" impersonation by former flame Brigitte Nielsen. (Thank god.)
It's Spring Break time here in Florida, but before you get carried away and steal a case of
SPRING BREAK (1983): David Knell, Perry Lang.


Is anyone out there thinking that Eddie Van Halen and British actor Bill Nighly ("Love Actually") are twins separated at birth?
Brad Delp, the lead singer for Boston, was found dead at his New Hampshire home on Friday. He was 55. There was no sign of foul play, the
Genesis has finally released its North American dates for its much-anticipated reunion tour. All told, the band has 13 dates scheduled, beginning Sept. 7 in Toronto and finishing Oct. 12 in Los Angeles.