Got 5 minutes? Here are your 5 movies

Lately, I find myself staying awake to all hours of the night to catch the first five minutes of the movie Caddyshack 2. (Pause for you to scream out in disgust and disapproval.)

The reason why just the first five minutes? Because Jackie Mason doesn't appear yet and because you get to hear the epic (and highly underappreciated) theme song by Kenny Loggins -- "Nobody's Fool."

Song ends, I flip the channel and continue my search for a better movie. Or at least one in which Dan Aykroyd doesn't talk in a strange pinched voice and wear camouflage. (Oddly enough, it's not an easy quest.)

Which 80s movies are worth turning on for just the first 5 minutes? Great question. And what do you know, I actually have a list.

FIVE MOVIES TO WATCH ONLY FOR THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES:

5. Club Paradise (1986): Robin Williams has an icicle hanging out of his noise, nearly dies in a fall from a high-rise and then suddenly is living large in the Caribbean. All in the first five minutes. The rest of the movie? A few good Peter O'Toole lines and little else.

4. A View To A Kill (1985): The worst James Bond movie of the entire franchise. But stay tuned just long enough for Duran Duran's title song. Then go hunt for "The Spy Who Loved Me" on a different channel.

3. The Jazz Singer (1980): Basically a music video (before such things really existed) for Neil Diamond's song "America," set in New York City. After that, you're forced to watch him actually act.

2. Caddyshack 2 (1988): Tune into next week's Stuck in the 80s podcast -- our interview with Kenny Loggins -- in which he actually sings a line or two of the theme song for us. No kidding.

1. Purple Rain (1984): You can figure out the entire plot of the movie from the moment Prince says "Dearly beloved..." to his final "Crazy!" on "Let's Go Crazy." But skip the rest of the movie and you miss the legendary Morris Day, who deserves to make enough royalties from this movie to never work another day in his life.

Trust me, we're still stuck in the 80s

Episode #80 of Stuck in the 80s is finally online. Click here to listen or click here to subscribe for free on iTunes. It's been so long since I uploaded a podcast that I may have fouled up the RSS feed temporarily, so if the show says "Episode 30" on your iTunes, just blame me. I didn't have my regular Egg McMuffin and 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke that day.

Highlights of this week's show:

• A surprising lack of sexual innuendo by Times pop critic Sean Daly, who seems to prefer just ragging on his co-hosts now on general principle.
• Cathy Wos reveals her shocking psychological condition about a major Hollywood star.
• And as the host, I start a new drinking game. Drink half a beer every time I say "fringe" in this show. (Note: Please buy at least two cases of beer prior to trying this.)

Enjoy the chaos. Our next episode will come in mid-week: An interview with Kenny Loggins, who plays Clearwater's Ruth Eckerd Hall on April 13.

Through the eyes of John Hughes

Special 80s montage video here sent by a fan of the podcast:

Wow, incredible stuff there! The thanks goes to David Blanchard, a freelance movie trailer and DVD special features editor living in Los Angeles. Having graduated from high school in '82, Blanchard sat down with Stuck in the 80s for a short Q&A to talk about his love of the 80s.

Still have a vivid memory of your first John Hughes flick?

Blanchard: "'The Breakfast Club' was the first. When I saw the movie initially it seemed very much like an intimate stage play because most of the story took place in the school's library and during one day. It was funny, thought provoking, and very emotional all at the same time. I connected right away."

So does Breakfast Club top your list, or do you prefer another Hughes movie?

Blanchard: "That has to be 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off.' My friends and I probably saw it eight times in the theater alone. Between cable and DVD viewings I've lost count after that. Who doesn't want to be Ferris Bueller? Or at least have him as a best friend. It's just a film that never gets tired."

Any of JH's movies really not click for you?

Blanchard: "Don't hate me, but it's 'Pretty In Pink.' It was great but I still rate 'Some Kind Of Wonderful' above it. Drummer girl Watts is the best!"

Which of his actors really caught your eye?

Blanchard: "Like a lot of people I go straight for Molly Ringwald, even from a guys point of view. To me her characters were the ones you wanted to hang out with, be friends with, or seriously date. She just always seemed 'real' to me."

Putting aside our hero, what other 80s movies really fire you up?

Blanchard: "I'm a huge fan of the 'Back To The Future' movies, especially the first one. Definitely 'Blade Runner', as well as 'Tron', 'Escape From New York', 'E.T.', 'Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure', and 'Highlander'. Not a lot of people put this on their 80's top 10 lists, but I also really like 'Ladyhawke'."

OK, one last Hughes question. If he ever made a sequel to Sixteen Candles, would Jake and Samantha be together 20 years later?

Blanchard: "I think if they weren't together it certainly would ruin the fairy tale ending of the first one a bit. If they did stay together and down the road had kids, I bet one would be a girl in her teens by now. Yearning to be with that one guy at school who seemed unattainable, she'd eventually turn to Mom for advice...and Samantha would have plenty."

Sir Bono? No, 'His Demigodness' will do

U2's Bono is now officially a "Knight Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire." It's sorta like being Knight Rider, only with far less hair gel. The honor was bestowed upon Bono for his work to defeat poverty and disease in Africa.

Britain's ambassador to Ireland performed the ceremony today, though Bono was reportedly disappointed that no sword or kneeling was involved. Likewise, because he's not a British citizen, Bono cannot use the title of "sir."

5 MORE ROCK STARS WITH A HEART:

• John Mellencamp: Co-founded of Farm Aid concerts.
• Bob Geldof: Organizer of Live Aid and Live 8 concerts.
• The Edge: Raising money for Katrina victims.
• Kenny Loggins: His "Conviction of the Heart" tune considered the environmental movement's anthem.
• Paul Simon: Set to receive the first Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song, honoring the positive effect of music on the world’s culture.

We're back... Party on, dudes

Sorry for the long delay between podcasts, my most excellent friends. The Stuck in the 80s podcast is back in business. Look for a new show online sometime this weekend.

Top 5 things we learned during our hiatus:
5. Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
4. Humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit.
3. People on 'ludes should not drive.
2. If you start out depressed everything's kind of a pleasant surprise.
1. It's better to burn out than fade away.

Look who we're interviewing today...

That's right, Kenny Loggins will be our guest on the Stuck in the 80s podcast. Kenny just released a new album -- How About Now -- and is touring in support. He plays Clearwater's Ruth Eckerd Hall on April 13.

Times pop critic Sean Daly and I will ask him about his string of soundtrack hits from the 80s (including signature tunes for Caddyshack, Footloose, Over The Top and Top Gun), his phenomenal collection of duets with artists including Stevie Nicks and Steve Perry as well as his recent tour with former partner Jim Messina.

In the meantime, here are a group of songs to download to get you ready for the podcast:

TOP 5 KENNY LOGGINS TUNES FROM THE 80s:
5. Forever
4. Meet Me Halfway (theme from "Over The Top")
3. Danger Zone (theme from "Top Gun")
2. Don't Fight It (with Steve Perry)
1. I'm Alright (theme from "Caddyshack")

This remake idea is more dog than wolf

A remake of Teen Wolf -- the werewolf flick made infamous by Michael J. Fox in 1985 (and unwatchable by Jason Bateman in 1987) -- is in the works. Tom Welling (TV's Smallville) is reportedly on-board to co-star in the flick.

Why remake Teen Wolf? In the immortal words of Bluto Blutarsky, "WHY NOT?!?"

No, seriously ... why? It wasn't exactly a classic the first time around, even though it has a soft spot in the hearts of some 80s fans. When Michael J. Fox sat down on The Actor's Studio, he even tried white-washing that role, saying no one probably remembers it. (The student audience, however, gave the movie an enthusiastic and surprising round of applause).

An interesting twist this time around: The werewolf will be played by a female. (Are you waiting for a punchline? Because one isn't coming. That's really the only difference reported so far.)

Teen Wolf is easily one of the least memorable movies of the 80s. Is that the rationale to remake it? Well, then, try these other movies from the 80s:

Five more unremarkable movies from the 80s to remake:
5. Light of Day (1987): If it must be a Michael J. Fox movie, this would cries out to be done better.
4. The Pick-Up Artist (1987): Molly Ringwald and Robert Downey Jr. reunite!
3. Vice Versa (1988): This plot has been reused more often than a J-Lo wedding dress.
2. Endless Love (1981): The most overrated romantic flick of the 80s, and nobody has been tempted to redo it? Incredible.
1. Last American Virgin (1982): Keep the soundtrack, but get Lindsey Lohan to play the "virgin" role originally played by Diane Franklin. Delicious.

Living in the limelight: A chance to meet Rush

Rush has a new CD out, a tour in the works -- they're only missing one thing: Yeah, it's you. (Well, and possibly better starting pitching for their beloved Toronto Blue Jays.)

The band is promoting a new contest that's worth checking out, especially if you're a hard-core fan. Those buying a concert ticket along with their new CD, Snakes and Arrows, are entered into a drawing. For each tour stop, one winner will be selected to meet the band backstage. (Click here for the details.) Rush has a reputation for being a fan-friendly group of rockers, so it seems like a no-brainer. (If you win, try to snag a guitar pick or drum stick for your buddies here at Stuck in the 80s.)

Speaking of the tour, most of the details are now available. Geddy, Alex and Neil get started in Atlanta on June 13. They're set to visit the Ford Amphitheatre in Tampa on June 16. The tour continues through the summer and appears to finish up in Finland on Oct. 29. (Check the band's website for exact dates.)

For sale: One very-used guitar

Members of U2 are donating some of their signature props and instruments to raise money for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Guitarist The Edge is leading the "Icons of Music" auction by offering up his beloved 1975 Cream Gibson Les Paul guitar.

The auction will be held live and online on April 21 at the Hard Rock Cafe in New York. (The online auction will be at www.juliensauctions.com). But before you bookmark the webpage and start polishing your pennies, take a look at the estimated bids expected for these gems:

• The Edge's guitar: $60,000-$80,000
• Sunglasses worn by John Lennon: $4,000-$6,000
• Hand-written lyrics by Bruce Springsteen: $2,000-$4,000
• Sunglasses worn in concert by Bono: $2,000-$4,000
• A tom-tom drum from U2's Larry Mullen Jr.: $8,000-$10,000
• Bass guitar from U2's Adam Clayton: $20,000-$30,000

Looking for a bargain? How about a surfboard signed by Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder, estimated to fetch between $1,000 and $2,000. Proof once again that the 90s and grunge just doesn't live up to Stuck in the 80s standards.

Focusing on The Big Picture

Today's retro-review: A little-remembered 1989 flick called The Big Picture, starring Kevin Bacon, Michael McKean and a dozen other stars in big roles or cameos.

The plot: Bacon plays an award-winning film school grad who finds that making movies in Hollywood isn't as easy as it seems.

The problem: Aside from Footloose and She's Having a Baby, Kevin Bacon is usually at his best when he's not the headlining star. However, The Big Picture was an independent flick, so box-office expectations weren't too high.

Maybe you remember: It was directed by Christopher Guest, McKean's co-star in Spinal Tap, and the director of Waiting For Guffman, Best in Show and A Mighty Wind.

Surely you can't forget: The late J.T. Walsh as the sleazy studio executive and Terri Hatcher as the casting-couch wannabe. And a great music video for a band called Pez-People playing "Don't Fire Until You See The Whites of Their Eyes." Die-hard fans of the movie continue to search fruitlessly for a copy of the song on the Internet.

One nasty review: "[This] sappy optimism plays like the kind of box-office compromise the film correctly excoriates." (Rolling Stone)

Why I love it anyway: Sandwiched in between Bacon's performances in the totally forgettable Criminal Law and the campy Tremors, it's a nice no-frills performance from an underrated actor. And it hints at the brilliance to come in Guest's directing career.

Closing argument: Martin Short takes an uncredited role in the movie, playing Bacon's agent. It's a tiny role, but Short has the two best lines in the whole movie:

• "I'm very, very aware... that you are seeing other agents. And I think it's good that you are. Finally, I mean it's healthy."
• "I don't know you. I don't know your work. But I think you are a genius. And I am never wrong about that."