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'Wanna go, pretty boy?' | Main | The perfect toy ... for those about to rock »

June 28, 2007

Hey, Hollywood ... Try these next!

It's nearly the middle of summer -- Fourth of July weekend is upon us -- and so our minds turn to the multiplexes across America, wondering: Where are the sequels that we REALLY want to see?

Bruce Willis has his latest version of Die Hard out, and Times film critic Steve Persall says it's a throwback classic in his review. But isn't that really a Christmas season movie? What we need are some good ole fashioned sequels to '80s classics. I'm one step ahead of you.

TOP 10 MOVIES FROM THE '80s THAT NEED A SEQUEL:

Fast_times 10. Fast Times at Ridgemont High: I know 1984's "The Wild Life" was sequel of sorts, but don't you want to know what became of Jeff Spicoli after 25 years? I'm guessing he's the shop teacher and runs the David Lee Roth page on MySpace. "People on 'ludes should not drive."

9. Beverly Hills Cop: It's had two sorry sequels. But the original is the single source of power for the once-proud Eddie Murphy. And after "Norbit" and "Pluto Nash," I think it's time for Eddie to return to his roots. "Is this the gentleman who ruined the buffet at the Harrow club this morning?"

Caddyshack 8. Caddyshack: Please, somebody do something to remove the taste in our mouths after "Caddyshack 2." Bring back Kenny Loggins for the title song. And let's find out what happened to "Danny" (Michael O'Keefe). But please keep Bill Murray's brother (Brian Doyle-Murray) running the caddyshack. "Pick up that blood!"

7. Valley Girl: A Nic Cage film that doesn't involve explosions? Yeah, think waaay back to the 80s. My guess is that even Deborah Foreman ("Julie") would come out of hiding to reprise her greatest role."Yeah, but Tommy can be such a dork, ya know? Like he's got the bod, but his brains are bad news."

Breakfastclub 6. The Breakfast Club: Answer the question once and for all -- what happens to the kids when they return to school on Monday? I'm hoping that writing a sequel is the real reason that director John Hughes has been laying low for so long. "We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all."

5. Sixteen Candles: From all reports, a sequel to this classic almost did happen. But to truly find out what happened to Samantha (Molly Ringwald) and her dreamy boyfriend, you'll have to rescue Michael Schoeffling ("Jake") from his job making furniture in Pennsylvania. (Sadly, I'm not joking.) "Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself? It's bad for your complexion."

Victory 4. Victory: The ultimate soccer/war/escape movie of the '80s. The only one in fact. I figure Sylvester Stallone can return -- Rambo style -- to free to rest of his fellow POW's (and maybe organize a camp softball team to play against the Soviet national team for when the war is over). "This frigging game is ruining my life."

3. War Games: I figure "David Lightman" (Matthew Broderick) could be running a huge software company these days, fighting the Justice Department over its business practices, hanging about rock stars and being named Time Magazine's man of the year. Nah, too unrealistic. " Is it a game... or is it real?"

Betteroffdead 2. Better Off Dead: One of the most underrated movies of the 80s can become the most overhyped sequel of our times, thanks to the star power of John Cusack. But unless they bring back Diane Franklin ("Monique"), Dan Schneider ("Ricky") and Curtis Armstrong ("Charles"), we're all better off dead. "Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn."

1. Blade Runner: I was screaming for a sequel before the credits even rolled on the original flick. Do Deckard and Rachael live happily ever after? Plus, Rutger Hauer and Sean Young could use the work. "I need ya, Deck. This is a bad one, the worst yet. I need the old blade runner, I need your magic."

Hey, special thanks to IMDB.com for linking to this post. Here are some other similar lists:

Comments

That's great -- I'd pay to see just about any of them.

On my first viewing, I disliked "The Breakfast Club" and hated "Blade Runner".

In both cases, my expectations for the movies were not realized by the actual films.

A friend told me that "The Breakfast Club" was funny, so I expected (and wanted) something along the lines of "Better Off Dead". My second viewing (shortly after the film's release on VHS) made me realize that I had misjudged this movie.

Same thing for "Blade Runner". I wanted a cross between "Star Wars" and "Raiders of the Lost Ark". This movie wasn't even close.

It was only when the director's cut was released in the 90s that I realized how good this movie really was... Of course, the removal of Harrison Ford's voice over really helps the film.

So, which was better -- The original "Blade Runner" or the Director's Cut version released in the 90s?

nix the "Caddyshack" idea: Kenny Loggins did do the theme to #2 and it still stunk...

What about a sequel to "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" where Ferris decides to cut class in college and finds out that no one cares?

"Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself? It's bad for your complexion."

I say that to myself every morning upon waking up.

Ghostbusters 3. Come on, you know we all want it. ;)

they shouldn't remake movies that people liked to begin with, they should remake movies that had good concepts but were limited by the time e.g. buckaroo bonzai. thats a movie that needs a remake.

Blade Runner is a classic, but my favorite on this list is Better Off Dead; my brother and I love this movie. If it weren't for the prestige of BR, I'd be screaming for Better Off Dead as #1. Harrison Ford and John Cusack are still acting, and I checked on IMBD for Monique, Ricky, and Charles - Diane Franklin/Monique is still acting, for TV mostly, Dan Schneider/Ricky is still in the business writing and producing Disney shows, and Curtis Armstrong/Charles is still going strong on both the big and small screens. So by all means, MAKE THE SEQUEL!! - Better Off Deader. (Don't forget the cartoons, the postboy and the Asian racers).

How about not remaking anything and actually begin to have original films come out of Hollywood for a change. If this article was serious and not tongue in cheek as I hope, it is one of the most ignornat takes on modern film I have ever wasted the time to read. But as long as there are people like you around we will continue to get crap movies like The Honeymooners being made.

Supposedly, there's a sequel to "WarGames": the upcoming direct-to-video feature "Wargames: The Dead Code" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0865957/

Hey Mo,
The post is about SEQUELS, NOT REMAKES. Take a chill pill!

what a list of bad ideas for sequels.

You have GOT to be kidding. With all the needless and awful sequels and remakes that Hollywood vomits out, why would you want to ruin the memories of any movie you liked in the 80s by subjecting them to that kind of treatment????? I pray Hollywood especially keeps their grubby mitts off of BLADE RUNNER. They messed with it too much as it is when it first came out by forcing Scott to include the voice over narration.

How about taking a stab at the lost art of originality?

Oops. I posted so quickly, I didn't read the comments. Looks like Joe P., Mo, and Ben already stated what I said.

Bgirl,
Ok then, replace the word remake in my post with "needless sequel" and viola! The same argument holds true, besides this "sequels" are just recycling a formula from the original movie anyway, thus likening them to a remake. Either way, original product should be expected and demanded by the moviegoing public not poorly made sequels to flash-in-the-pan 80's films.

Blade Runner is a funny creature. I of course saw it the first time with narration and have since seen it without narration. I still hear the narration in my head though.

Great movie.

Logan's Run - OK it's a 70's flick but someone should remake it now and get Leo to star and Ang Lee to direct and you got a winner.

You silly people! Can't you tell he's not being serious?

The only one I'm serious about is the POW all-star softball game.

Harrison Ford's character in Blade Runner is named Deckard (not Decker). If you love the movie enough to want a sequel, I'd think you'd know that much...

And to answer the most faq'd of all time: the original with the voiceover is better. Plenty of folk just don't want to admit it.

Hey, this sounds great! Let's make a sequel to Lawrence of Arabia while we're at it. Ben Hur could use a sequel. Oh, and nobody has tried to ruin Casablanca yet with a sequel, that would be cool!

Yikes. It's amazing that you are paid to write crap like this.

I would have loved to have seen a sequel to E.T.

Who's the idiot that put remakes instead of sequels on the imdb link?

Ugh, not better off dead! that movie was horrible, and so was Say Anything. I'm not a John Cusack fan, and haven't been probably after seeing these films!

I think this list is hilarious. It definitely had me reminiscing about some of my favourite 80s movies and what may have happened next.

My wife would disagree, but I hated pretty in pink. How about a sequel to it featuring 30 something Ringwald goth'd out and called Razed in Black about her abandonment of her New Wave fashion design and adaptation into her vampire lifestyle..heh

DO NOT make a remake of the Breakfast Club. I don't want some nimrod director screwing up that perfectly-good movie for the Napoleon Dynamite-appreciation-era teens today. Don't sequelize it, don't remake it, don't even make an extended version DVD of it. Leave it alone!

Similarly, don't touch Blade Runner either. That movie was hard to watch and sometimes the editing wasn't all there, but the perspectives and the point of view were excellent. I don't think we need a $100-million+ CGI budget or a cadre of new actors to make that movie any better than it already was.

However, I like the idea of a remake of War Games using today's technology and political climate. I think that would be really neat. WOPR could factor in terrorist threats, dirty bombs and biological warfare in its predictions about the end of the world.

I would also like to see a remake of 2001: A Space Oddysee. I love the Kubrick version, and no one makes a movie like Kubrick, but I would still like to see what state-of-the-art visual effects and a really stellar cast could do with that movie.

But leave the Breakfast Club alone!

I've got an idea, yeah I know this article is tongue in cheek, but how about they DO SOMETHING NEW for once instead of sequels, remakes, and comic book trash. Eh? THERE'S an idea.

"But the original is the single source of power for the once-proud Eddie Murphy."
Yes thats right, because Coming To America isnt classic, Nutty Professor wasnt genius & funny & didnt do great numbers?
Murphys made great movies besides Bev. Hills Cop. They shouldnt be branded irrelevant as those silly black movies he did. By the box office receipts many different people went to see them & made them successful.

"And after "Norbit" and "Pluto Nash," I think it's time for Eddie to return to his roots."
I'd love to see a Bev. Hills Cop sequel done correctly, but after an Oscar nominated turn in Dreamgirls, I dont think he is DEPENDENT on BHC like this author suggest.
Even the much maligned Norbit was a success. For heavens sake, Jim Carrey hasnt done as well as murphy recently.

I am dieing to see a 16 candles sequel, but I realize it probably will never happen. Id love to 'find out' what happened after that night.

Michael Schoeffling does build furniture now & live a quiet life with his family in PA, but theres nothing sad about that. Better him have a great life away from Hollywood than have a sad one in it.

Blade Runner did have a sequel..in book form. BR2: The Edge of Human by K.W. Jeter. All of the movies you listed DO NOT need sequels. Just like Die Hard, The Matrix, Highlander and a ton of other movies that stand well on their own.

Since some people are talking about remakes in the posts...let's stop that too. Especially since they are about to remake "Escape from New York" and have Gerard "300" Butler as Snake Plissken.

lessthan12parsecs

No no no no no no! The best sequel would definitley be Christmas Vacation 2 and not the one with cousin Eddie but the whole lot of em. That has got to be the greatest Xmas classic of all time and would kill to see some more.

What a horrible list. Particularly Breakfast Club and Blade Runner. Sequels? That's incredibly laughable. Most of the time, great movies don't need sequels, and when great movies get sequels they are usually huge disappointments. Blade Runner was based on a book for God's sake.

Why exactly do you think that a great film, and a few of these are really great, should do anything but stand alone? Sequels are the drivel that Hollywood shoves down our willing throats, and you're encouraging them. Have fun at Shrek 7 in 2012.

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Relive the music, movies and culture of the greatest decade ever with Times online editor Steve Spears. A teen during the decade, Steve is obsessed with everything from Duran Duran to Journey, John Hughes to John Cusack, and parachute pants to Reaganomics.

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