If the Ferris Bueller sequel had a soundtrack...

Die-hard Ferris Bueller fans might remember that the 1986 movie didn't have a soundtrack for sale to the public. (Though director/writer John Hughes, who chose all the music, said he had 100,000 copies printed to send to friends and fans who wrote him.)

For "Ferris Bueller 2: Another Day Off," sequel screenwriter Rick Rapier (read Q&A) has compiled a list of the songs he has worked into his script. (Read a scene) So if the sequel were to be made and Rick got to call the shots on music, here's what the soundtrack would feature.

THE FERRIS BUELLER SEQUEL SOUNDTRACK:

• "A Man Without Love" by Engelbert Humperdinck
• "Exception of Love" by The Truth
• "Avalon" by Roxy Music
• "Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins
• "Breathe Your Name" by Sixpence None the Richer
• "Tenderness" by General Public
• "Anywhere With You" by Rubber Rodeo
• "What the World Needs Now Is Love" by Burt Bacharach
• "Return to Innocence" by Enigma
• "Oh, Yeah" by Yello

"Some songs are not from the 80s but rather might be songs recorded since Ferris might like," Rapier said. "And, of course, the Humperdinck is meant to be a lyrics-appropriate replacement for Wayne Newton, whose only other pop hit besides 'Danke Schoen' was 'Daddy Dontcha Walk So Fast' -- doesn't exactly work, does it?"

Our sport, our field, our decade

High school football could have been king in the 80s. Seriously.

The best book ever written about it -- "Friday Night Lights" -- was published in 1989. (Why did it took so many years for it to make it to Hollywood and TV?)

And some of the best (and worst) movies ever about the sport were made in the 80s. The best one from any decade? I'll go with 2004's "Friday Night Lights" again, even though it's not nearly as good as the book or TV show -- how weird is that? And as much as I love to watch "Varsity Blues" every time it's on cable, it takes the title for least realistic sports movie since "Gus" -- the field-goal kicking mule. (Alas, it was made in '76.)

Now that the season is about to start again, how about a closer look at the best and worst of the bunch from the 80s.

THE BEST: All The Right Moves (1983)

Stars: Tom Cruise, Lea Thompson, Craig T. Nelson, Christopher Penn.

The plot: A football player and his coach look to escape the steel towns of Pennsylvania.

Realism factor: Aside from the fireworks going off when rival Walnut Heights scores a touchdown, I think it's fairly flawless. Craig Nelson is the embodiment of every high school coach I've ever met (he would of course later go on to prove this again in TV's "Coach.") And yeah, Tom, that WAS pass interference! Next time, go for the ball.

Favorite line: "You're not god, Nickerson. You're just a typing teacher."

THE WORST: Wildcats (1986)

Stars: Goldie Hawn, Wesley Snipes, Woody Harrelson, Nipsey Russell, Bruce McGill.

The plot: A female track coach accepts her dream job -- head football coach ... at the worst school in the city.

Realism factor: The female coach is possibly the only realistic angle to the entire movie. Otherwise, you have players break-dancing on the field (that's 15 yards unsportsmanlike conduct), profanity during the plays (another 15 yards and possible ejection) and a 400-pound player jumping high enough to block a field goal. (No flag, but come on!)

Favorite line: "If you're going to shake my hand, I'd rather do you did that before you checked his jock."

THE GUILTY PLEASURE: The Best of Times (1986)

Stars: Robin Williams, Kurt Russell.

The plot: Two men seek to turn their lives (and the fortune of their town) around by replaying an important game from their high school days.

Realism factor: You wouldn't ask how realistic "Field of Dreams" is, would you? Same deal here. Just enjoy the shot at redemption (and secretly wish it could happen to you as well.)

Favorite line: "I was lucky." "No Jack, you were due."

It's Michael Jackson's birthday!

If Michael Jackson wasn't the creepiest human on the planet, his 49th birthday would probably be a pay-per-view event. Sadly, it's just an excuse to post some jokes found on the Internet...

Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy !!

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalog.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
A: One is made out of plastic and is dangerous for kids to play with and one is used to carry groceries.

LYRIC QUIZ: Can you name these Michael Jackson songs?
1. "I've learned that love needs expression. But I learned too late."
2. "Just put your trust in my heart. And meet me in paradise."
3. "There was a time I used to say girl I need you. But who is sorry now."
4. "I think I told you, I'm a lover not a fighter."
5. "A lot of people misunderstand me. That's because they don't know me at all."

Bad, bad girls (they make me feel so good)

The Stuck in the 80s podcast crew reconvenes this week to tackle a guys-only topic: Hottest movie girlfriends of the 80s. (I know what you're thinking -- don't you talk about that every week? Well, yes. What's your point?)

We've certainly covered the "sweetest girlfriends" of the 80s before. But what about the not-so-sweet? The ones who really gotta keep your eye on. The ones whose house you drive by every night at 10 p.m. (even though the police warned you three times not to).

I give you ...

The Naughty Nine of 80s Girlfriends:

Caddyshack's "Lacey Underall" (Cindy Morgan): Corrupts poor Danny and leaves him twisting in the wind when Judge Smails comes home early.

No Way Out's "Susan Atwell" (Sean Young): Playing both Kevin Costner and Gene Hackman. You know that's just going to end badly.

Body Heat's "Matty Walker" (Kathleen Turner): I don't care how rich or hot she is -- when a girlfriend asks you to kill her husband, it's time to walk away (quickly).

Last American Virgin's "Karen" (Diane Franklin): She puppy-dogged Gary into paying for her abortion and then ran back to no-good Rick, setting up the saddest ending to any 80s movie.

Porky's "Wendy" (Kaki Hunter): She couldn't resist humiliating her soon-to-be boyfriend Pee Wee. (Couldn't find that guy "Mike" whats-his-name either.)

Risky Business' "Lana" (Rebecca De Mornay): Was she naughty or nice? Steal's Joel's crystal sculpture and sinks his car, but makes love to him on a real train. (Who was he to say no?)

Better Off Dead's "Beth" (Amanda Wyss): Dumps John Cusack for sleazy ski-team captain Roy Stalin. Dumps Stalin for Cusack after he skis the K-12.

Footloose's "Ariel" (Lori Singer): Gets Ren caught up in tractor chicken race and then nearly gets him killed by standing in front of a train. What's Ren get in return? A music box. Nice.

Black Widow's "Catherine" (Theresa Russell): Kills her husbands for their wealth, forces a private investigator to O.D., then gets her best friend thrown in jail for murder. She's more evil than the other characters combined.

Bang your head -- and help with a new list

When you say "1980s," some people think Duran Duran. Others think Dokken. Some dream of finding a vinyl copy of "Some Great Reward." Others tremble at the thought of a vintage disc of "Blizzard of Ozz."

Even Kevin Bacon rocks out to a little Quiet Riot in "Footloose." ("Mental Health" would have certainly made that movie soundtrack a bit more intense.)

So leave us a comment with your picks for "Best Metal Albums of the 80s." Nominate as many as you want. Give us a ranking of your top 5 if you prefer. Or even go so far as to say three albums that deserve no part on the list. We'll compile your votes and release a ranking and special podcast soon.

In the meantime, here are some albums to consider:

• Number of the Beast (Iron Maiden): This 1982 album was vocalist Bruce Dickinson's debut with the band. The single "Run to the Hills" hit the top 10, but the album got bad reviews in the U.S.
• British Steel (Judas Priest): This album from 1980 includes the signature tunes "Breaking the Law" and "Living After Midnight." One reviewer later would say: "Everything that ultimately became characteristic of heavy metal is here."
• Diary of a Madman (Ozzy Osbourne): The final studio album featuring guitarist Randy Rhoads has the tunes "Over The Mountain" and "Flying High Again."
• Appetite for Destruction (Guns N' Roses): The band's debut album has sold more than 26-million copies, yet it's only the second-best selling debut album of all time. (Can you name the top one?)
• Dr. Feelgood (Motley Crue): The fifth album from Crue (and the first recorded after the band members got sober).  Includes the title track, "Kickstart My Heart" and "Some Ol' Situation."
• ... And Justice For All (Metallica): First album after the death of bassist Cliff Burton. Every song -- including singles "One" and "Harvester of Sorrow" -- is more than 5 minutes long.

Script shocker: 'I killed Ferris Bueller'

Let the debate continue on the merits of a Ferris Bueller sequel. In the last seven days, since I broke the news of the script by screenwriter Rick Rapier, I've been called everything from a "schmuck" to a "thieving stableboy from Bavaria." (Actually that last part is probably in my head from watching "Beer Fest" too many times this weekend.)

I also was a skeptic on the idea of a sequel -- until I read the script. And to help move the conversation along, Rick and I have decided to release a scene from the script for everyone to read. This particular scene occurs early in the movie. Let us know what you think.

* * *

INT. FERRIS' PERSONAL AIRLINER - CONTINUOUS

Ferris braces himself between the rest room and the EMERGENCY EXIT. Cameron grows more agitated.

CAMERON: Ferris! Sit down! It's FAA regulation!

FERRIS: The benefit of owning one's own plane is that one can refrain from following FAA regulations.

The Ferris Bueller corporate jet rises into the air, its wheels retracting.

INT. FERRIS' PASSENGER AIRLINE - CONTINUOUS

Cameron gestures angrily for Dick and Dirk to do something. Dirk points to his fastened seat belt.

DIRK (surprisingly demure): But we're taking off, Mr. Frye.

Cameron turns to Ferris.

CAMERON: If this is about the infomercial, I'm sorry, awright!? How'd I know it would result in a 200 percent increase in seminar bookings?

FERRIS: Market research?

CAMERON: A happy accident.

FERRIS: Another accident like that and they'll be comparing me to Howard Hughes...

CAMERON: Would that be so bad?

FERRIS: You wouldn't be the one in a sterile room with nails so long you can't wipe your ass!

CAMERON: Well, it's too late!

FERRIS: No, it's never too late. (turns to CAMERA) That's Rule Number 7 from "Life Moves
Pretty Fast," disk one.

CAMERON: Why do you put me through this crap, Ferris?

FERRIS (to Cameron):  Rule number 9: "Find life's little pleasures whereever you can." I think
that's on disc two.

DEVON (still jotting in her PDA): Disc 3.

CAMERON: Well, you can forget pleasure: today's your birthday.

Ferris leans to gaze out the EMERGENCY EXIT window.

CAMERON: Ferris, sit down! The last thing we need is you in the hospital -- Millions are riding on tonight's simulcast! Carpenter would own us --

FERRIS: Is that all you care about? Money?

CAMERON: Sit down. I'm done arguing with you.

Cameron turns his back to Ferris. Ferris doesn’t budge.

FERRIS: Do the voice.

CAMERON: (knowing) What?

FERRIS: Do it. Do Peterson and I'll be a good boy all day long. Do it. (imitates Cam as "Mr.
Peterson") "Rooney! Who the hell do you think you’re talking to!?"

Cameron is adamant. No voice.

CAMERON: We don't have time for your stupid crap, Ferris!

Ferris looks to the CAMERA like Can you believe him?

FERRIS (to Cameron):  Do it!

It's a stand off.

FERRIS: You leave me no choice... It's on your head.

CAMERON: What is?

FERRIS: My stupid crap.

Ferris puts his hands on the EMERGENCY EXIT latch. Seeing Ferris, Dirk and Dick are now on alert.
Devon sees too and her eyes flash wide with concern. She implores Cameron, but he just shakes his head dismissively with a smirk of faux self-confidence.

Ferris defiantly starts to lift the EXIT DOOR handle. In an instant, Dirk and Dick are out of their seats.

DICK: Don't do it!

FERRIS: Not another step!

As Devon GASPS, Cameron turns to see what Ferris is up to.

CAMERON: You wouldn't dare.

FERRIS: Watch me.

Dirk and Dick crowd Cameron as Devon watches from her seat, aghast.

FERRIS (pathetic): I wanted to live, but you wouldn't let me.

DEVON: Mr. Bueller! No!

Dubious, Cameron holds up his hand to calm her.

FERRIS: I'm getting off this roller-coaster!

CAMERON: (calling Ferris bluff) At what, 10,000 feet? That first step's a doozy.

Ferris flashes a devilish, defiant scowl -- Pulls the EXIT door handle -- INSTANTLY gets sucked from the plane! Air rushes past a horrified Cameron, the Bodyguards, and Devon as they fight the swirling currents.

Here's where Cameron loses it.

CAMERON: NO!!!

EXT. THE SKY ABOVE SAN FRANCISCO - CONTINUOUS

Ferris tumbles toward the CAMERA, stabilizes... nonchalantly withdraws a pair of yellow skydiving goggles from his coat pocket, slips them on, tosses away the offending Blackberry.

With a big grin, he surveys this wild blue yonder like he owns it, then looks into the CAMERA with self-satisfaction, lips waffling in the slip stream.

FERRIS (his speech unaffected): I pulled it off! Think Cam bought it?

INT. BUELLER CORPORATE JET - CONTINUOUS

As Cameron slouches in Ferris’ chair, he rubs the armrests like they were Ferris himself, as Devon comforts him.

CAMERON: I killed Ferris Bueller.

In the 80s, there can be only one

If you're going to run your life based on the movie quotes of a single actor, I think Sean Connery makes a good choice.

Not that I've personally chosen Connery. I'm more a John Cusack zen philosopher myself ("What the hell's wrong with being stupid once in awhile?"). But because Connery turns 77 years old today, we'll honor our wise Scottish sage instead.

As usual, these are only movie quotes from the 80s. (Too bad for us and "Capt. Marko Ramius" that "Hunt for Red October" was released in 1990.)

Everything you need to know in life, you can learn from a Sean Connery movie:

• "Don't you ever get caught on the take." (Family Business)
• "If you're afraid of getting a rotten apple, don't get it from the barrel, get it off the tree." (The Untouchables)
• "Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky." (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade)
• "If your head comes away from your neck, it's over!" (Highlander)
• "In the end there can be only one." (Highlander)
• "They pull a knife, you pull a gun." (The Untouchables)
• "It's against Service policy to give endorsements." (Never Say Never Again)
• "Make sure when your shift is over you go home alive. Here endeth the lesson." (The Untouchables)

[AP photo]

Martha Quinn doesn't let the 80s down

When you're an 80s addict, is there anyone you'd rather talk to than Martha Quinn?

One of MTV's original veejays 26 years ago, today Quinn is back in the news, lending her name and chicness to a new computer trivia game called "The 80s Game with Martha Quinn." She also hosts a weekly show on the Sirius satellite radio network called "Martha Quinn Presents Gods of the Big 80s."

Now 47 years old, she has not surprisingly tapped into the Dick Clark Fountain of Youth, retaining her pixie, girl-next-door looks and friendly yet frisky voice. (Click here for her official website, with her own podcast.)

She recently chatted with Stuck in the 80s to promote her trivia game. While Times pop critic Sean Daly flattered her non-stop, I chatted her up about her love of Bon Jovi, one-hit wonders and today's celebrity gossip websites. Here are some highlights from the interview. (Click here to listen to the full interview with Martha Quinn. Or click here to subscribe to all our podcasts for free on iTunes.)

Stuck in the 80s: Martha, your voice is essentially ingrained in our DNA. You must have guys coming up to you all the time expressing their love to you.

Martha Quinn: "No, this is what happens, and it's always a double-edged sword to me because I know people are trying to be nice. . ... Someone will say 'Oh Martha, I used to have the biggest crush on you.' I'm like, 'Oh you used to? Who do you have a crush on now.' Typical female.

When MTV started 25 years ago, did anyone at the network envision you'd became the face of the music television revolution?

"You're the first person to ever ask that question. ... You know it's funny, every once in a while, I'll read an article and if they talking about the 80s, I've actually seem them to refer to those as the 'Martha Quinn Years.' And I'm like, 'Oh my god, that's incredible.' No, I'm quite sure that nobody had any idea because, you know, I was just some goofy kid off the street basically. It just worked out that way. I can't explain it. ... It worked out great and I'm honored.

Is it a burden to have that responsibility fall on you?

"Well, I try not to drive and drive so that I don't let the 80s down. You know how I feel about it? It's so great that I do the Sirius show right now. ... It's totally reconnecting me with this group of people who I really feel like we came to age together."

Why are so many people still infatuated with the decade?

"I'm not sure. People are passionate about the 80s. It's really wild. I look back on it -- there was Reaganomics and the Reagan years and there was a lot going on in the world.  There was also a lot of real hard-core optimism. Everything from Garbage Pail Kids to the Smurfs to the Safety Dance. ...""

"People always love the period of time they grew up in before they took on adult responsibilities. You always love those years. But I do think that people who grew up in the 80s are more passionate about the 80s than any other decade. When the 50s came back, it was kind of a kitschy, cute revival."

The music was fun too. What did you listen to back then?

"I firmly believe there's an East Coast/West Coast divide on this. People who grew up on the East Coast are firm Bon Jovi [and] Aerosmith listeners. West Coast, Oingo Boingo [and] Depeche Mode."

"[For me, it was] Bon Jovi, Van Halen, Dexy's Midnight Runners."

Oh come on, you listened to just one Dexy's Midnight Runners song -- "Come On Eileen"!

"Yeah, but I listened to it over and over and over. That was back in the days when you could put a single on your turntable and switch the mode to repeat. ... My neighbors must have thought I was insane. I loved that song."

What interviews really stand out from your MTV days?

I interviewed Bob Dylan ... I was so frightened of this guy, and he was wonderful. I finally got to meet Paul McCartney, which was a total dream. ... I almost found that the bigger the celerity, the nicer they were. Frankie Goes To Hollywood came in -- Mark [Goodman] actually interviewed them -- and they were total d--ks. Totally! Mark actually at one point said, 'Listen, do you guys even want to do this interview?' "

"But that being said, tons of newcomers were awesome too, like the Go-Go's, whom I'm still friends with. The Stray Cats, the Red Hot Chili Peppers [too]. But you tend to be great when the camera is on."

What do you make of today's celebrity culture -- the tabloids, the gossip websites?

"I don't even go to the movies. I don't even watch TV. But I'm addicted to this stuff. It's crazy. I gotta see the latest on what's happening with Lindsay Lohan."

"I was just saying this to [former MTV veejay] Nina Blackwood: We missed the era of tabloids. If tabloids had been around back then, we would have been right there -- 'Nina Blackwood is dating who?!?' "

Click here to listen to the full interview with Martha Quinn. Or click here to subscribe to all our podcasts for free on iTunes.

Save Ferris? The critics call for his head

The idea of a Ferris Bueller sequel seems to be offending movie critics worldwide. Despite a largely positive response on this blog to the news that screenwriter Rick Rapier has penned "Ferris Bueller 2: Another Day Off," movie bloggers seem largely offended. (Click here to read a full scene from the script)

It makes you wonder: Who's more out of touch with what movie fans want -- Hollywood executives or media critics? (For the record, I sure hope it's only Hollywood.)

Here are some examples of their reactions:

• "Do we really want to see a sequel to Ferris Bueller's Day Off?" (Whitney Matheson, Pop Candy, USA Today)
• "Hughes has never directed a script he didn't write, and I strongly doubt he'd start by helming some random dude's take on one of his most beloved characters." (Mediahollywood.com)
• "Look, I loved the original Ferris. And I suppose there's something like a 1-in-100 chance that a sequel could be done right. But the other 99 are dreck like Dumb and Dumberer and Blues Brothers 2000. I'm not eager to take that chance."  (Beggingthequestion.com)
• "In case you hadn't worked it out yet, this Ferris Bueller 2 script is nothing but fan fiction. I have more chance of getting my imaginary Sixth Sense sequel Gravity off of the ground, and I only just invented it." (Film Ick)
• "Even Abe Froman thinks this is a bad idea." (MTV movie blog)
• "Some schmuck in Arizona named Rick Napier [sic] has written a script for a sequel to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and is “shopping it around” Hollywood. Somehow it made it to another schmuck in Tampa, who posted it on his Stuck in the 80s blog, and is singing its praises. ... If this thing actually gets made, I’m gonna quit my job, and start writing screenplays for all the dumbass ideas I’ve come up with while drinking heavily in a bar at 1:30am." (Jack Matador, Denver Post)

I really loved the last comment, since the same guy who calls me a schmuck is the same guy who repeatedly spells Rapier's last name wrong (even though he cut and pasted it corrected in the portion of my blog item he quotes.) Aside from the fact that we disagree on Ferris, I love Jack's in-your-face style of writing. I think he and I could be pals, so long as there's a designated driver involved.

Sequel Q&A: Ferris fans 'want to see it made'

Rick Rapier didn't grow up in Shermer, Illinois. Probably didn't have his name painted on any town's water tower. Almost assuredly didn't lick his palms, fake stomach cramps, skip gym class and sneak into the city to eat pancreas at a fancy French bistro.

But if he can defy all the odds and sell his script for a Ferris Bueller sequel, he might go down in history as just as much of a legend as the fictional teen made famous by Matthew Broderick in the 1986 flick. (Click here to read a full scene from the script)

Rapier gave a copy of his script of "Ferris Bueller 2: Another Day Off" to Stuck in the 80s to review and then agreed to sit down and answer some of the inevitable questions facing his seemingly impossible challenge. (See what the critics are already saying)

Stuck in the 80s: What made you choose Ferris Bueller for a sequel?

Rick Rapier: "I feel like it chose me! A couple of years ago, I had just had lunch with a couple of friends. ... We stopped to chat before going our separate ways and it happened to be in front of a Blockbuster Video where there were like half a dozen sequel posters on the windows."

"We got to complaining about sequels, especially me since I have been wanting to break in at the studio level and tell my own new stories as movies. My older friend said, 'Now there's a movie they should have made a sequel for!' He pointed to a large Ferris Bueller poster. I don't really know why it was up there since it was about 2 years before the release of the 20th Anniversary Edition DVD. ..."

"I instantly began spinning a yarn based on what I knew: for one thing, there is only one Ferris Bueller -- Matthew Broderick. They pulled off switching us from Sean Connery to Roger Moore, but there is no replacement for Matthew Broderick. So, right away I knew that any sequel would have to take his age into account, which would make it set in the present. And unless he took a major blow to the head, he wouldn’t still be in high school."

"And so it went. The story just bloomed from there. And soon it became a Ferris story that I wanted to see myself. When I told my friends the premise, they agreed. Since then a number of Ferris fans have read it, and they all want to see it made."

Still, writing a sequel to a classic like that -- a daunting task.

"I had never thought of writing a sequel to someone else's movie. Getting a spec script sold is a monumental feat, and it's even rarer to see one made.  Add to that the hole-in-one this would have to be. But I did some research and learned that no one, including the great John Hughes or Broderick --  at least in any published information --  had ever thought of a possible Ferris' future as I had.  And again, I just really wanted to see this as a movie one day."

Where do you place the original movie among the great 80s teen movies?

"The best. Clearly, the best. It is a perfect movie, and not just for teens or people stuck in the 80s!"

"One of the things I think is so admirable about what John Hughes did with Ferris was to craft a film which appeals to so many people, that tapped into something that resonated with just about everyone.  I think I've met one person who didn't like the original. He thought Ferris was a jerk. A jerk?  Are you kidding me!?"

I noticed you brought back all the old characters for the sequel. How difficult was it figure out where to put them all?

"I felt that there were moments that really resonated with people, characters that were favorites, all of whom were so fully realized by Hughes and his great actors. Even the bit parts were indelible, Grace (Edie McClurg), Rooney's secretary, and even guys like the parking garage attendant. So, I didn't want to leave anyone out, and I also realize that the actors who helped realize the first movie would feel left out if there wasn't a part for them in, perhaps, one of the longest awaited sequels in film history." ...

"There was only one significant character that didn't fit in the end (the maitre d' at Chez Quis).  I had placed him in a scene excised early on (in Vegas), but that scene slowed down the pace. Besides, that guy would've been offed by a disgruntled employee before the 80s were even over. Still, if I were casting director I’d still cast that actor (Jonathan Schmock) as perhaps the police captain or someone, just to put them in the sequel."

How many people in the movie biz have seen your script? Any feedback yet?

"Only a couple. I knew that it was a great idea, something even Hughes hadn't considered (it would seem), and since only Paramount has exclusive rights to make a sequel, I felt I needed to be guarded about who read it. ..."

"Instead of Seven Degrees of Kevin Bacon, I tried Seven Degrees of Matthew Broderick and Execs at Paramount. Neither worked. Most recently a well-known producer passed on the script ... because he felt Ferris trading on his persona in adulthood was to 'lose the power of his character.'  As a huge fan of the original and of Ferris in particular, I feel he couldn’t be more off the mark."

What do you think Matthew Broderick or John Hughes would say if they read it?

"That is a tough question to answer! ... My hope would be that John Hughes would be thrilled that someone who has been inspired by his work ... has gone to the effort to write a sequel in the spirit of the original. But it's possible that Hughes would be offended, that maybe I've stepped on his toes.  God, I hope not!  But I know Hughes is semi-retired now.  But maybe his son James Hughes, who is a director now, could helm it with his John executive producing?  How cool would that be!"

"As for Matthew Broderick...  I love this man's work, too. That's not fawning; it's just true. How could I not feel this about the actor who played Ferris?  My hope is that he would 1) want to read the script, 2) love the script, and 3) immediately choose to make the sequel."

"Now, that's not too much to ask, is it?"

Still a working class dog ... and lovin' it

Rick Springfield's career -- both acting and music -- seems as hot today was it was 25 years ago.

Springfield is back as Dr. Noah Drake on daytime TV's General Hospital. But in a twist, he's also playing the role of fictional rocker "Eli Love." The final two episodes of Dr. Drake/Eli Love air on Aug. 23 and 24. Springfield's entire band in real life also will appear with "Eli Love" for a performance of "Who Killed Rock n' Roll" -- a new single he began playing last year on tour. It will be the first time Springfield has sung on the TV show.

"The town of Port Charles is literally going to rock," the show's executive producer Jill Farren Phelps told Soapdom.com. "Long-time viewers as well as Rick Springfield fans will be entertained, while new viewers will see why 'General Hospital' is appointment television."

The song also is available on iTunes. Click here to hear it or buy it. The tune will be included on Springfield's new album, due out in early 2008.

Springfield's "Working Class Tour '07" has been underway since February, and he returns to Tampa Bay and the Ruth Eckerd Hall on Sept. 15 (along with John Waite and Eddie Money).

Will Ferris turn 40? It's up to Hollywood

Ferris Bueller fans, here's some amazing news: There is a finished script being shopped in Hollywood for a sequel to the 1986 teen classic.

Titled "Ferris Bueller 2: Another Day Off," the movie places Ferris on the eve of his 40th birthday. The script was written by Rick Rapier, a screenwriter based in Arizona. Rapier provided "Stuck in the '80s" with an exclusive and complete copy of the 106-page script.

Is it good? I thought it was a blast. I read it in a single afternoon and was impressed with the care Rapier took with the original story and characters. The story has the same feel, humor and pace as the 1986 movie, which should please hard-core Ferris fans. (Click here and click here to read two full scenes from the script)

The movie fast-forwards Ferris' life about 20 years. In the years since high school, Ferris has turned his carefree "Life Moves Pretty Fast" motto into a motivational self-help career -- think Tony Robbins, only with a beret and sweater vest. His best friend Cameron is still at his side, managing his massive business.

But despite his phenomenal success, Ferris is a bit distracted on his 40th birthday (which, considering his massive fame, is being watched on pay-per-view TV by millions of devoted fans). He decides to take the day off, sending Cameron, his business associates and family into a frenzy.

Rapier says he hopes John Hughes would direct the movie and all the actors would return to reprise their original roles, including Matthew Broderick ("Ferris), Alan Ruck ("Cameron") and Jeffrey Jones ("Ed Rooney"). And what are the characters all up to now?

• Ferris' sister Jeannie (Jennifer Grey) is married to the boy she met in the police station (Charlie Sheen).
• No longer a school administrator, Rooney is still stalking Ferris for revenge.
• The economics teacher played by Ben Stein now is an airline gate representative.
• Ferris' girlfriend Sloane Peterson (Mia Sara) is a Hollywood star going through a rough marriage.

Can the movie be made? Right now, that's completely up to Hollywood. Rapier says several players in the movie business have read the script, with various reactions. One executive who passed on the script said he didn't like the idea that Ferris was profiting from his persona, Rapier said.

The big questions are whether Hughes can be talked into returning the director's chair and whether a studio will take a chance on a script from a relatively unknown writer. Personally, I think the Ferris legacy is too tempting to resist. (Movie bloggers and critics say otherwise -- read their reactions.)

Come on, Hollywood. Take the chance. After all, as our hero says, "Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Check this out:

• A Q&A with screenwriter Rick Rapier.
• Here's what the soundtrack would include
• Read a scene from the movie
• The critics react to the sequel idea

Patrick Swayze wants you to be nice

Here's a theory you might not agree with: Patrick Swayze is perhaps the most underrated actor of the 80s.

Swayze, who turns 55 years old today, appeared in 11 movies, six TV shows and two mini-series during the decade. And yet he's best known for perhaps his least impressive role -- dance instructor "Johnny Castle" (worst ... name ... ever) in 1987's "Dirty Dancing."

I say "least impressive" not because of Swayze's performance. He makes the most of the slop the screenwriters served up to him. "OK, Mr. Swayze, we want you to play a tough-guy dance instructor. ... Stop laughing, Patrick. ... Yes, we're serious. But here's the twist: You turn into a total crybaby wuss when you fall in love -- for no good reason -- with a daddy's girl named 'Baby' who isn't half as attractive as anybody you've dated before! Sound good? OK, well, do it for us anyway. Please? OK, we'll let you sing that ridiculous 'She's Like The Wind' song that they rejected in your 'Grandview USA' movie. Deal? Great!"

So forget Dirty Dancing now. We've come to praise Patrick Swayze, not to mock him.

5 reasons nobody puts Patrick Swayze in a corner:

5. Roadhouse (1989): "I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice."

4. Grandview, USA (1984): "Boy, you just discovered the oldest sexual position in the book. ... the Foolish position."

3. The Outsiders (1983): "You just don't stop living because you lose somebody. I thought you knew that."

2. Red Dawn (1984): "It's kind of strange, isn't it? How the mountains pay us no attention at all. You laugh or you cry... The wind just keeps on blowing."

1. Youngblood (1986): "Thank God there is a sport for middle-sized white boys."

Sadly, his best movie -- Point Break -- was in 1991, but I'll tip my hat to him anyway. And of course, let's not forget this classic clip from Saturday Night Live. Enjoy.

Compact discs are 25 years old!

Twenty-five years ago today, Aug. 17, 1982, the first compact discs were born. According to the Associated Press, those first discs were produced in a factory near Hanover, Germany, and contained Richard Strauss' Alpine Symphony.

Can you remember the first CD you bought? Strangely enough, I remember my first five.

1. Duran Duran - Arena: I actually bought this as a gift for a Duran Duran fan. It'd be years later before I'd actually own a CD player.
2. Peter Gabriel - So: Still own this one -- probably the oldest and most-played CD in my collection.
3. Paul Simon - Graceland: I never got a chance to play this one. It fell victim to a cheese-related accident at a party I threw on the day I bought a CD player.
4. Pretty in Pink soundtrack: I've actually bought this one four times now. No telling which of my friends borrowed and forget to return the first three.
5. Meat Loaf -- Bat Out of Hell: See, I'm not totally stuck in the 80s.

'Hey, wait a minute, there's no birthday party for me here!'

I don't care how many Oscars he wins or which leaders of rogue nations he has lunch with. He's plain old "Jeff Spicoli" to me. And that characterization would probably piss off Sean Penn more than anything.

Penn turns 47 today (though he doesn't look a day older than 50). In a relatively short period of time, he has accomplished the near-impossible: He is both the most talented yet grumpiest man in Hollywood. Still, 80s fans have given him a lifetime pardon for all his great work in the 80s, something I bet he takes no glee in.

Just this week, another movie website named his stoned surfing opus, "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," as one of "Seven Teen Sex Comedies That Don't Suck." (Other 80s flicks on the list: Revenge of the Nerds, Last American Virgin, Risky Business and Porky's. And I'm sorry, but aside from the "Why do you they call you Lassie" scene, Porky's is no masterpiece.)

When you look over his volume of work -- even his 80s stuff -- you realize this sobering fact: Sean Penn is not a comic actor. Does he even have fun anymore? Seemingly not. In a 2001 interview, Penn says he takes little enjoyment from the craft: "Acting is always a struggle, and now it's more of an emotional struggle because I don't enjoy it so much," he says.

So be it, Sean. Here's a list just for you.

Three Sean Penn movies from the 80s we don't enjoy so much:

3. Casualties of War (1989): One critic said, "... Don't let a little gore, misogyny, factbusting, counterfeit hipness ... get in your way. Enjoy Penn's actor imitations."

2. We're No Angels (1989): One critic said, "So few lines have been written for these actors that you almost believe that the script intentionally parodies their renowned inarticulateness."

1. Shanghai Surprise (1986): One critic said, "Sean Penn drunkenly mumbles his way through this period caper ... getting wrapped up in a plot to steal opium, or maybe jewels, or maybe an autographed baseball. I honestly have no idea, and I don't think Sean did, either." (Also #33 on the Worst Movies of the 80s list.)

Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the 80s

Elvis Presley died 30 years ago this week, which means the King never got to experience the music of the 80s. (Though I'm not sure I could handle listening to his rendition of "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.")

I've traveled to Memphis several times, but have never been tempted to visit Graceland. For one, the only Presley I'd like to commune with is Lisa Presley. And second, if I wanted to see rooms decorated in animal prints and munch on fried peanut butter sandwiches, I'd visit Times pop music critic Sean Daly's house.

But though I find no fascination in Elvis, plenty of 80s artists did. The Residents covered more than a dozen Elvis songs. But they're not alone.

Favorite Elvis Presley songs covered by 80s artists:

• Viva Las Vegas -- Dead Kennedys, Bruce Springsteen, ZZ Top
• Don't Be Cruel -- Cheap Trick, Bryan Ferry, Devo
• Can't Help Falling in Love -- UB40, Lick the Tins, Corey Hart, Richard Marx, Bruce Springsteen, U2
• Jailhouse Rock -- The Blues Brothers, John Mellencamp, ZZ Top
• Love Me Tender -- Holly Johnson
• Suspicious Minds -- U2
• Mystery Train -- Stray Cats
• Faded Love -- Wall of Voodoo
• Heartbreak Hotel -- The Clash

Top 80 TV shows of the 80s: Nos. 1 to 20

Okay, 80s television addicts, your patience is about to pay off. We've finally reached the top 20 TV shows of the 80s on our seemingly never-ending list of the Best 80 TV shows of the 80s.

The final 20 all received a high vote tally from blog readers, but deciding the top three was the toughest. All three tied for the most number of votes. Remember, click here to read how we came up with the list. And click these links for the rest of the list: Nos. 21-40, 41-60, 61-80

Top 20 television shows of the 80s:

20. Designing Women (1986-93): Dixie Carter, Delta Burke

19. Silver Spoons (1982-87): Rick Schroder, Erin Gray

18. Facts of Life (1979-88): Lisa Whelchel, Charlotte Rae

17. Fantasy Island (1978 - 1984): Ricardo Montalban, Hervé Villechaize

16. Head of the Class (1986-91): Howard Hesseman, Dan Frischman

15. Remington Steele (1981-86): Pierce Brosnan, Stephanie Zimbalist

14. Square Pegs (1982-83): Sarah Jessica Parker, Amy Linker

13. Pee Wee's Playhouse (1986-1991): Paul Reubens, Phil Hartman

12. Dallas (1978-91): Larry Hagman, Linda Gray

11. The Love Boat (1977-1986): Gavin MacLeod, Fred Grandy

10. The A-Team (1983-86): George Peppard, Mr. T

9. Moonlighting (1985-89): Cybill Shepherd, Bruce Willis

8. Night Court (1984-91): Harry Anderson, John Larroquette

7. You Can't Do That on Television (1979-90): Christine McGlade , Lisa Ruddy

6. Magnum P.I. (1980-88): Tom Selleck, John Hillerman

5. Dukes of Hazzard (1979-85): Tom Wopat, John Schneider

4. The Cosby Show (1984-92): Bill Cosby, Phylicia Rashad

3. Family Ties (1982-89): Michael J. Fox, Michael Gross

And the big decision....

2. Miami Vice (1984-89): Don Johnson, Philip Michael Thomas. One could easily argue this show deserves the top spot. Unlike few other shows on the list, it's straight from an 80s time capsule and changed the future of TV drama.

1. Cheers (1983-1993): Ted Danson, George Wendt. One of the few shows in TV history that seemed as creative and funny during episode 1 as it did during its finale (which some may argue is possibly the best sitcom finale of all time, behind only "Newhart" and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show.")

Cheers won 26 Emmy Awards (from 117 nominations). It was able to keep its top characters throughout its 11 seasons, survived the death of one cast member (Nicholas Colasanto as "Coach"), the swapping out of the female lead (Kirstie Alley for Shelley Long), and even spawned a hugely successful spinoff series with another co-star ("Frasier" with Kelsey Grammer). And as an unexpected side benefit, the site of the bar in Boston is now a tourist magnet.

So there's the list. Feel free to drop us a comment with your thoughts on the inclusions and omissions.

[Special thanks to IMDB.com for filling in the occasional blanks.]

Nobody puts Baby on a stage

Avert your eyes if you are pregnant, have heart or back problems or if you experience high blood pressure: Dirty Dancing is coming to the stage near you.

The 1987 flick that starred Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze has been turned into a musical called "Dirty Dancing -- The Classic Story on Stage." It will begin a national tour beginning in Chicago on Sept. 2, 2008. (Which I'm pretty sure is the exact date of the apocalypse in the New Testament.) There's even an official website for the production.

"Dirty Dancing" follows several other 80s-era flicks onto a Broadway stage including Footloose, The Color Purple, The Wedding Singer and Hairspray.

The musical already has played to audiences in London, Australia, Germany and New Zealand. The production includes the hit songs from the movies and additional music. It also reportedly expands on the relationship between "Baby" and "Johnny."

"I originally wrote the movie because I love to dance," writer and creator Eleanor Bergstein told Broadwayworld.com. "Since the movie opened, the openhearted audience response has made me believe that everyone has a secret dancer inside them; one they feel could connect them to the physical world in the way they dream."

(No word on whether motion-sickness bags are available by the seats, but they should be. I need one right now myself.)

If you leave, don't leave now

It's finally time to say goodbye to our Stuck in the 80s co-host Cathy Wos. Cathy left Tampa Bay last week for Seattle (ironically the deathbed of the 80s), arriving over the weekend.

Cathy appeared on about 50 shows of Stuck in the 80s, beginning as guest on our dreadful "Heathers" episode and becoming a full-time co-host on "Worst Songs of the 80s." She leaves just shy of our 100th episode, but I'm sure you'll get to hear from her during that epic show as well.

To honor her contributions and bid her farewell, we've recorded a special "Goodbye Cathy!" show for Stuck in the 80s fans. Click here to listen, or click here to subscribe to all our shows for free on iTunes.

A kind-hearted top 5 list is in order for the occasion.

Five things you might not know about Cathy Wos:

• She gets her soothing, sexy voice from eating kiwi-flavored yogurt before shows.
• She hates Huey Lewis with the intensity of a thousand suns.
• Despite the hatred, she'd rather make out with him than Andrew Dice Clay.
• She has an irrational but very real fear of Richard Dreyfuss.
• She leaves in Seattle now because she's really Stuck in the 90s.

And now, for the bonus, predictable list.

Five 80s songs to say goodbye with:

• "Don't You Forget About Me" (Simple Minds)
• "Never Say Goodbye" (Bon Jovi)
• "If You Leave" (OMD)
• "Everytime You Go Away" (Paul Young)
• "Goodbye, Goodbye" (Oingo Boingo)

Drop us a comment with your thoughts on the show or a final goodbye to our friend, Cathy.

Best TV shows of the 80s: Nos. 21-40

Our list of the Top 80 television shows of the 80s continues today, with Nos. 21-40. A pretty eclectic mix for you today. A little Shatner, some Christina Applegate, an incompetent super-hero. And then a talking car and computerized head. Go figure.

Remember to click here to read the story behind the list. You can also see previous lists at these links: Nos. 61-80 and Nos. 41-60. And the top 20 are here.

40. Murder, She Wrote (1984-96): Angela Lansbury

39. The Fall Guy (1981-86): Lee Majors, Heather Thomas

38. The Wonder Years (1988-93): Fred Savage, Danica McKellar

37. Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-94): Patrick Stewart, Brent Spiner

36. MacGyver (1985-92): Richard Dean Anderson, Dana Elcar

35. Hardcastle and McCormick (1983-86): Brian Keith, Daniel Hugh Kelly

34. Married ... with Children (1987-97): Ed O'Neill, Christina Applegate

33. Diff'rent Strokes (1978-86): Gary Coleman, Todd Bridges

32. The Greatest American Hero (1981 to 1983): William Katt, Robert Culp

31. Max Headroom (1987-88): Matt Frewer, Amanda Pays

30. Hill Street Blues (1981-87): Daniel J. Travanti, Bruce Weitz

29. St. Elsewhere (1981-88): William Daniels, Howie Mandel

28. Alice (1976-85): Linda Lavin, Vic Tayback

27. Murphy Brown (1988-98): Candice Bergen

26. The Young Ones (1982-86): Adrian Edmondson, Rik Mayall

25. The Equalizer (1985 - 1989): Edward Woodward, Keith Szarabajka

24. Knight Rider (1981-86): David Hasselhoff, William Daniels

23. Charles in Charge (1984-90): Scott Baio, Willie Aames

22. Bosom Buddies (1980-82): Tom Hanks, Peter Scolari

21. T.J. Hooker (1982-1986): William Shatner, Heather Locklear

Personal faves: The Young Ones, Greatest American Hero

Could live without: Hill Street Blues, The Fall Guy

Tomorrow's list: The final 20 includes Spoons, Pegs, Dukes and Ties.

'I heard you missed us -- we're back!'

If saying the right things is half the battle, then the reunited Van Halen is clearly on the path to winning over skeptics.

Most rock-watchers probably gave the idea of a VH tour about a 20 percent chance of starting and finishing as scheduled. (Compare that to a Guns 'N Roses tour, and the number looks great.)

But at Monday's press conference in Los Angeles, the band members seemed to anticipate the pessimism in the room and were prepared for it.

Here are some highlights from the press conference, which you can view on Youtube.com:

David Lee Roth on the reunion: "This is not a reunion -- this is a new band. This is a revision with hits that you're so familiar with -- as familiar as the roof of your own mouth is to you. ... Usually when a band comes back like us, it's rockers with walkers. Not us."

Roth on Wolfgang Van Halen replacing Michael Anthony on bass: "Michael Anthony is part of this band's history. There's a lot of great alumni who have been through this band. I'm shocked that any of us are still vertical after 30 years."

Eddie Van Halen on the significance on the return of Roth: "It is totally blowing our own minds, and I think it will your's too. It's better than it's ever been. None of us want to give you less than our best, and we are at our best."

Eddie on the future of the band and a possible new album: "We are a band, and we're going to continue."
Roth on the future: "This is not like The Police. The idea is that this will continue on and on and on.

Roth on the upcoming tour: "Come and judge the performance harshly, please. I beg you, come on down and see. I've done more rehearsing in the four months than I've done in the last 20 summers."

[AP photos]

No longer unemployed (their folks are overjoyed)

Save this image. Turn it into computer wallpaper. Print it out and put it next to your birth certificate in your safe deposit box. Because it's not every day you see Eddie Van Halen planting a wet one on the cheek of David Lee Roth.

By now, the whole 80s world knows that Van Halen has reunited (well, sorta. Wolfgang Van Halen is subbing in for Michael Anthony on bass). Eddie, his brother Alex and David made it official today. The tour begins Sept. 27 in Charlotte, N.C. No tour stops are set for Florida at this point. Click here for a list of available dates.

My fantasy Van Halen set list:

• Eruption
• Running with the Devil
• Unchained
• Hot for the Teacher
• Ain't Talking 'Bout Love
• Feel Your Love Tonight
• Dance the Night Away
• Jamie's Crying
• Beautiful Girls
• Ice Cream Man
• Everybody Wants Some
• Jump
• You Really Got Me

Encores

• And the Cradle Will Rock
• Panama
• Happy Trails

[AP photo]

Best TV shows of the 80s: Nos. 41-60

Our march through the top 80 television shows of the 80s continues today with Nos. 41-60. What can you expect on today's installment? A lot of guilty pleasures.

Today's biggest winners: Geeks around the world. Two of your all-time faves -- Doctor Who and Mystery Science Theater 3000 -- make their appearance on the list.

Don't forget to leave a comment