100 episodes? Mama no!

Are you ready to relive the history of Stuck in the 80s? All the hits ... the miscues ... the uncontrollable sweating of two pasty, bloated guys with no lives beyond the year 1989?

The 100th episode of our podcast is now online. Click here to download it or click here to subscribe to all our episodes for free on iTunes.

Lest I imply that it was merely Sean Daly and myself that are responsible for all 100 counts of crimes against humanity, let me give much overdue credit to Gina Vivinetto (my first co-host), Cathy Wos (our longtime co-host now living in Seattle), Brendan Watson (our first producer) and Dave Morrison (the maestro and our former producer). Special thanks to our special guests hosts over the last two years, including: Eric Deggans, Chase Squires, Sharon Fink, John Fleming, Steve Persall and Rick Gershman.

What can you expect during show #100? Lots and lots of highlights, including:

• Sean's fight with Huey Lewis.
• My tongue-tied pass at Martha Quinn.
• Our karaoke party with Kenny Loggins.
• And yes, the original "Mama No!" story about topless blondes from Norway.

As always, we appreciate your comments and e-mails. And stay tuned as we continue to find reasons to stay firmly stuck in the 80s.

Oh captain, my captain

Did you correctly guess last week's "Name that 80s Tune" from Episode 99 of Stuck in the 80s: It was "Captain of Her Heart" by Double (pronounced "doo-blay").

Who got the challenge right? Just about everyone. Seriously. We had more than 30 correct answers. That's incredible considering Double is sadly remembered as a one-hit wonder.

Double was a Swiss group founded by Kurt Maloo and Felix Haug. Though "Captain of Her Heart" was their breakthrough hit, hard-core fans will also recommend "Devil's Ball," "Rangoon Moon" and "Woman of the World." The group broke up in 1987, and Haug died in 2004 at age 52.

Maloo still performs though. He has an official website, an entertaining blog, a store on CafePress and a new album called "Maloo vs. Double: Loopy Avenue." He reworks many of Double's songs on the new disc, including the aforementioned "Captain of Her Heart."

EPISODE 100!!
The landmark century mark for the Stuck in the 80s is almost upon us. I finished editing the show last night, but I want to take a final listen to it before releasing it.

It's just over an hour long, which might make it our longest show to date. I tried to squeeze in as many fan greetings as possible, but a few will have to wait for future shows.

Look for a couple surprises in the 100th show, including a new Name that Tune challenge that will have you hitting rewind on iTunes a couple hundred times.

For Hall of Fame, anybody but Madonna

What do Madonna, John Mellencamp and the Beastie Boys have in common? They are among the nine nominees for the 2008 Class of the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame, just announced today.

Other nominees include Donna Summer, Chic, Afrika Bambaataa, Leonard Cohen, The Dave Clark Five and The Ventures. Only the top 5 vote-getters are inducted.

Mellencamp and the Beastie Boys are strong choices. But Madonna? Have you ever heard anyone call her a rock star? Puleeeze. Let's hope the rock journalists who vote on the honor come to their senses and leave her off their ballots.

Performers become eligible for the hall 25 years after the release of their first record. So for Mellencamp, go back to 1982 and you'll find "American Fool," definitely the first of many classics. The Beastie Boys had a couple EPs in '82 and '83. Their landmark "Licensed to Ill" album didn't come out 'til 1986, so they seem like they're maybe a year or two early. As for Madonna -- her 1983 effort was her self-titled debut, which included "Borderline," "Holiday," and "Lucky Star." Ready to rock out? I don't think so.

I can think of a half dozen other acts that HAVE to be ahead of Madonna.

• Heart: Ann and Nancy Wilson! "Barracuda" ... "Magic Man" ... Come on! It's criminal they're not in the hall yet.
• Duran Duran: Unlike Madonna, these guys really are Brits AND actually know how to play instruments!
• Styx: I can see it now. Dennis DeYoung rejoins the band for the induction performance.
• Kiss: I want the full makeup treatment, fire-breathing, blood-spitting, drum-solo, "Beth"-singing version of the band.
• And while I'm at it ... Huey Lewis, Rush, the Go-Go's, the B-52s, Billy Idol, REO Speedwagon, Journey. The names just keep on coming to me.

Anybody but Madonna. Really. It would be the equivalent of electing Michael Jackson as president of Big Brothers Big Sisters of America.

[AP photo]

'Wild at heart and weird on top'

After hearing a rumor that Laura Dern is playing the role of Katherine Harris in an HBO movie about the botched 2000 presidential election, I may never be able to watch another of her 80s flicks again.

And that'd be a shame, because she's in some classics:

Teachers in 1984 stands out ("Mr. Jurel, I just had an abortion. I think I'm old enough to smoke."). So does Blue Velvet in '86 ("I can't figure out if you're a detective or a pervert."). Same with Mask in '85 (though Stoltz still gives me nightmares).

However, what I remember her best for is Wild at Heart with Nic Cage, made in the unspeakable year of 1990. But I'm grandfathering it into the 80s -- just for today.

Top 3 Laura Dern lines in Wild at Heart:

3. "One of these days the sun's gonna come up and burn a hole clean through the planet like a giant electrical x-ray."

2. "Uh oh. Baby, you'd better get me back to that hotel. You got me hotter than Georgia asphalt."

1. "This whole world's wild at heart and weird on top."

[Wild at Heart publicity photo]

'Yihla Moja. The man is dead'

TODAY'S RETRO-REVIEW: 1987's "Cry Freedom," starring Denzel Washington and Kevin Kline, directed by Richard Attenborough.

THE PLOT: The life and death of South African activist Steve Biko (Washington) as seen through the eyes of white newspaper publisher Donald Woods (Kline). Biko died in police custody on Sept. 12, 1977, during the apartheid era in South Africa. The movie is based on the book "Biko," written by Woods, who fled the country with his family after Biko's death.

MAYBE YOU REMEMBER: Denzel Washington scored his first Academy Award nomination (supporting actor) for his role as the non-violent, anti-apartheid activist. (It remains easily one of his best performances to date.)

SURELY YOU CAN'T FORGET: Peter Gabriel's song "Biko" was included on the movie's soundtrack, even though it was released in 1980. The song was covered by Joan Baez in 1987 and Simple Minds in 1989. The lyrics are haunting: "Oh Biko, Biko, because Biko. Oh Biko, Biko, because Biko. Yihla Moja, Yihla Moja. The man is dead." (The phrase "Yihla Moja" means "Come Spirit.")

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID: "It's sort of a liberal yuppie version of that Disney movie where the brave East German family builds a hot-air balloon and floats to freedom." -- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times.

WHY WE LOVE IT: Do you remember when people other than Michael Moore made films with a conscience? Go back to the '80s, my friends, and re-watch "Ghandi" and "Cry Freedom." One of the most disturbing scenes -- and "Cry Freedom" expectedly has a lot of them -- depicts the "Soweto Uprising" of 1976, where police opened fire on 10,000 students, killing more than 500 and wounding thousands more. After that tragic event, sanctions were leveled against South Africa globally.

FIVE MEMORABLE QUOTES BY STEVE BIKO:

"So as a prelude whites must be made to realize that they are only human, not superior. Same with Blacks. They must be made to realize that they are also human, not inferior."

"The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed."

"Black man, you are on your own."

"You are either alive and proud or you are dead, and when you are dead, you can't care anyway."

"In time, we shall be in a position to bestow on South Africa the greatest possible gift - a more human face."

When the Cheese begins to fall

Oh my. Jermaine Jackson and Pia Zadora's video for "When The Rain Begins To Fall" is a real tear-jerker. That means I'm basically crying at the thought that I once thought this was a great song and video.

What does it remind you of? I'm thinking its the evil love child of "The Road Warrior" meets "Prayer of the Rollerboys." With maybe a little "Karate Kid" mixed in there for flavor. A threesome of bad chemistry and retarded poetry.

Olivia Newton-John's echoes of long ago

I have a theory about Olivia Newton-John, and here it is: If she hadn't insisted on sticking to movies in the early 80s and concentrated on her music career instead, we'd have erected statues in her honor by now and she'd be filling huge arenas for concerts (instead of that hag Madonna.)

Sadly, in the year 1980, there was a cosmic shift in the space-time continuum: She made the movie Xanadu and our world was never the same. Don't get me wrong -- Xanadu has possibly one of the best soundtracks of any movie in the late 70s or 80s. Seriously. "Suddenly," "I'm Alive," "Magic," and the title song.

The rest of the actual movie? Too painful to contemplate. It was so unintentionally campy, it makes the Village People's "Can't Stop the Music" (also from 1980) look like "The Deer Hunter."

Olivia Newton-John turns 59 years old today, and here's a suitable present: A pair of tickets to the new Broadway production of "Xanadu," playing at the Helen Hayes Theatre in New York. Just visiting the production's official website is a trip through time. And ELO's Jeff Lynne returns to handles the music and lyrics. What more can an 80s fan ask for?

Reading the reviews, it seems like the stage show has found the niche it should have aimed for back in the less humorous year of 1980. The New York Times called it an "outlandishly enjoyable stage spoof of the outrageously bad movie."

After other odd choices for 80s movies-turned-to-Broadway (Color Purple, Footloose), it seems like we're finally on to something worth celebrating.

[AP photo; handout photo]

Glory Days? Guess it's passed him by

The setlist has been revealed for Bruce Springsteen's upcoming tour. PollStar.com has published the list, which includes a few songs from the 80s -- but none of the big radio hits.

That's right. No "Born in the USA." No "Glory Days." No "The River." But thankfully no "Pink Cadillac" or "Hungry Heart" either. But after taking a long look at the proposed setlist, I can say this with total comfort since I'm just a casual fan: If the Boss doesn't make it down to Florida on this tour, I won't be missing much.

Here's PollStar.com's tentative setlist:

• Radio Nowhere
• No Surrender
• Gypsy Biker
• Empty Sky
• Something in the Night
• Girls in Their Summer Clothes
• Night
• Promised Land
• Livin' in The Future
• Devil's Arcade
• Candy's Room
• She's the One
• Lonesome Day
• My Hometown
• The Rising
• Last to Die
• Long Walk Home
• Thundercrack
• Born to Run
• Darlington County
• American Land

Guess he drinks more than just blood

Kiefer Sutherland, everyone's favorite 80s vampire, was arrested for DUI early Tuesday by L.A. police after making an illegal U-turn. He blew more than the legal limit of 0.08 during a breath test, Reuters reports.

A DUI and arrest puts Sutherland in very exclusive company out in Hollywood. Well, not really. I think he might have been the only celebrity left who hadn't yet been arrested for this charge.

Of course, if you study his movie lines over the years, you could tell this brush with the law was just a matter of time:

• "I don't see your problem; we brought a whole bunch of fishing gear, and if a cop asks us what we're doing here, we're just here to take a couple steelhead out of the river, and look what we found!" (Stand By Me, 1986)
• "It is too late, my blood is in your veins." (The Lost Boys, 1987)
• "I used to ride with the dirty underwear gang out of Liberty, Missouri." (Young Guns, 1988)
• "We have naked people giving us free food!" (1969, 1988)
• "Somehow we've brought our sins back physically. And they're pissed." (Flatliners, 1990)

[Lost Boys screen shot]

Kirk, my old friend: Greatest sequels in the 80s

So, 80s fans, you're split on the idea of a Ferris Bueller sequel, eh? You wonder if there's enough magic left in Hollywood to do justice to that John Hughes classic? You think sequels are all garbage?

Well, to paraphrase the poetry of Fast Time's legendary scalper Mike Damone ("Scalper? Did you call me a scalper??"): Can you honestly tell me you forgot? Forgot the magnetism of Kirk vs. Khan? Or the charisma of Clubber Lang or Ivan Drago?

The 80s were full of memorable sequels (and yes, some very bad ones. Just click here). After much thought, I give you...

15 BEST MOVIE SEQUELS FROM THE 80s:

15. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986): "Your use of language has altered since our arrival. It is currently laced with, shall we say, more colorful metaphors, 'double dumb-ass on you' and so forth."

14. Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984): "Girls are whack, man!"

13. Return of the Jedi (1983): "Good, I can feel your anger. I am unarmed. Take your weapon. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete."

12. Rocky 4 (1985): "I must break you."

11. Lethal Weapon 2 (1989): "Guys like you don't die on toilets."

10. Ghostbusters 2 (1989): "Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's God-given right."

9. Rocky 3 (1982): "I don't hate Balboa. I pity the fool, and I will destroy any man who tries to take what I got!"

8. Christmas Vacation (1989): "We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f---ing Kaye.

7. Aliens (1986): "Hey, maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal!"

6. Superman 2 (1980): "Come and kneel before Zod!"

5. Evil Dead 2 (1987): "Someone's in my fruit cellar! Someone with a fresh soooul"

4. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989): "Germany has declared war on the Jones boys."

3. Empire Strikes Back (1980): "Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm?"

2. The Road Warrior (1981): "I am gravely disappointed. Again you have made me unleash my dogs of war."

1. Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan (1982): "Ah, Kirk, my old friend, do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? ... It is very cold -- in space."

Bill Murray turns 57, but it just doesn't matter!

There are several rules in the Stuck in the 80s kingdom: Always turn up the radio when Men At Work in playing. You must roll your eyes and make the "gag me" gesture every time a celebrity story appears about Tom Cruise. And you must stop everything you're doing and plop yourself on the couch when a Bill Murray movie comes on TV.

Our favorite 80s god, Murray runs 57 years old today. (He doesn't look a day over 65 though, so he's got that going for him. Which is nice.) But unlike many of his 80s peers, Murray has a career that has steadily climbed since the late 70s and his start on Saturday Night Live.

Some of my favorite non-80s highlights:

Meatballs (1979): It's on cable nonstop these days. Watch it again and relive Hollywood comedies during a gentler, more peaceful era. "Even if every man woman and child joined hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn't matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Mohawk because they've got all the money! It just doesn't matter!"

Groundhog Day (1993): Am I wrong here or is this is best movie ever? Seriously. "This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather."

Kingpin (1996): Possibly the most vile comedy ever conceived. Which is why I love it to death. "Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag and your butt is kinda like an about-to-explode bratwurst."

Wild Things (1998): Who says Murray can't shine in a bit part? "Did you enjoy being a guest of the state?"

Rushmore (1998): The beginning of the current era of Murray -- less slapstick, more dry material. But even more funny. "Here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it."

Lost in Translation (2003): How many times must this be said ... he should have won the Oscar. "For relaxing times, make it Suntory time."

Is Bill Murray's best work in the 80s or beyond? Now that have his best non-80s work to consider, it's time for the ultimate list befitting a man of his prestige.

I give you ... TOP 15 BILL MURRAY LINES OF THE 80s:

15. "Suck in the guts, guys, we're the Ghostbusters." (Ghostbusters 2, 1989)

14. "It's easy to be a holy man on top of a mountain." (The Razor's Edge, 1984)

13. "I think I need a root canal. I definitely need a long, slow root canal." (Little Shop of Horrors, 1986)

12. "We've been going about this all wrong, this Mr. Stay Puft's okay, he's a sailor, he's in New York, we get this guy laid we won't have any trouble." (Ghostbusters, 1984)

11. "We're all very different people. We're not Watusi, we're not Spartans, we're Americans. With a capital "A", huh? And you know what that means? Do you? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world." (Stripes, 1981)

10. "Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key." (Caddyshack, 1980)

9. "He slimed me." (Ghostbusters, 1984)

8. "In my case, you know, I hate to advocate drugs or liquor, violence, insanity to anyone. But in my case it's worked." (Where The Buffalo Roam, 1980)

7. "So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice." (Caddyshack, 1980)

6. "The bitch hit me with a toaster." (Scrooged, 1988)

5. "This chick is toast." (Ghostbusters, 1984)

4. "You've got a program featuring America's favorite old fart. Reading a book in front of a fireplace. Now, I have to kill all of you." (Scrooged, 1988)

3. "You slut." (Tootsie, 1982)

2. "Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual." (Stripes, 1981)

1. "Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!" (Caddyshack, 1980)

Klaus Meine returns to the 80s -- for a while

Klaus Meine of The Scorpions called the Stuck in the 80s podcast this week for a chat and was very clear on one point: "We're not stuck in the 80s." OK, OK, Klaus. It's just that many of your American fans still are!

The Scorpions are in the middle of a short U.S. tour right now, promoting their new album "Humanity - Hour 1." The 12-track CD is a mix between a concept album and a "common theme" album, he says. Never mind the label, the point is that it rocks -- big time. If you want to give it a test-ride, tunes like "321" and "The Future Never Dies" are must-have downloads from iTunes.

During our half-hour chat, Klaus talked about the genesis of the new album, the role of super-producer Desmond Child and his thoughts on some of the band's classic tunes.

Click here for the full podcast interview with Klaus, but in the meantime, here are some highlights:

About the new album: "After 'Unbreakable,' we wanted to make an album that rocked -- with a lot of attitude. But we also wanted to make something that's not so much like a classic rock album, because we don't live in the past. We're artists and we're very much here and now. So we wanted an album that's more mature."

On producer Desmond Child: "When we met with him, he said, 'Hey guys, we gotta come up with something that could be another milestone in your long career.' .. When Desmond presented us with the idea of 'Humanity - Hour One' we thought this is great. ... You know, we didn't want to make another record with songs about boys chasing girls. I mean, come on, give me a break."

On his voice: "When you run through a major problem like we did in the 80s when we recorded 'Blackout,' I think after that after I survived two major surgeries on my vocal cords, you just take better care of your instrument. It's an ugly word in association with rock n' roll -- it's called discipline."

On Smashing Pumpkin's Billy Corgan contribution to the song 'The Cross': Actually, Billy is a huge Scorpions fans -- he grew up with our music. Since we were working in the same studio -- he was working with the Pumpkins and I was in the same place next door, we bumped into each other every day. I told Billy, 'Whenever you feel good about it, just come up and we'll record your part.' "

On playing in Cold War Russia: "It was amazing because we are Germans and we grew up in the shadow of the Berlin Wall. We grew up as a post-war generation. After all the success we enjoyed in the world, especially in the 80s in America, we wanted to go behind the Iron Curtain. We knew we had a base of fans there. ... We went there in '88 and the KGB was around us all the time. But we saw it was Scorpion-mania. Fans were coming from Siberia for 20 hours on a train to be part of a rock concert and to get a taste of the free world. A year later we went back to Russia and played the legendary Moscow Music Peace Festival and it was the moment of inspiration for a song called 'Wind of Change' that became the anthem to the coming down of the Berlin Wall."

Is the tune still emotional to play?: "It is, but it depends on where we play it. It was a hit in America too, but not so much with the hard rock audience. It's a totally different emotion when you play it in an Eastern Bloc country or in Russia. ... When I sing it, it still gives me goose bumps when people in front of me cry."

[Publicity photo from the-scorpions.com]

Admit it -- you love "Tarzan Boy"

Baltimora's "Tarzan Boy" is one of the hidden gems of the year 1986 -- and by that, I mean a one-hit wonder of 1986. But does that diminish your unabashed love for the tune? Of course not.

This week's Stuck in the 80s podcast features that long-lost tune as part of our salute to the "One Hit Wonders of '86." And before every gets upset when they hear one of their favorite bands in the show, please remember we used well-established experts to compile the list. (I'm not saying that Timbuk 3 or the Blow Monkeys are going to release box sets anytime soon, but you get my Tokyo drift.)

Sean and I continue to record without the benefit of a female counterbalance in Show #99, so please excuse the flatulence jokes and references to "Hogan's Heroes" -- the TV show, not the once- great deli in Gainesville, Fla. (Order the Burkhalter bratwurst.)

Click here to listen to the show, or click here to get all our shows for free on iTunes.

Here's the Sex Pistols -- again

They may not have survived as a group to play a lick in the 80s, but do we care? You loved The Sex Pistols anyway.

And the good news is the band is reuniting for one night only (yeah, right -- more dates to come if the money is right, I think) to celebrate the 30th anniversary of their "Never Mind the Bullocks" album. The four surviving members of the band -- singer John Lydon, guitarist Steve Jones, drummer Paul Cook and bassist Glen Matlock -- will play London's Brixton Academy on Nov. 8. (Sid Vicious sends his regards. He'll be unable to make it.)

"Maybe it's because we're all Londoners, but there would be no Sex Pistols without dear old London town," Lydon told NME.com. "See you all at Brixton with proper feelings and proper people all around. From London Bridge to The Rose And Crown, all of Britain is welcome so come on down."

NME.com is organizing a drive to get their single, "God Save The Queen," to the No. 1 on the charts -- something that denied to the band in 1977. The tune will be re-released on seven-inch vinyl.

Just in case you've gone too long without a little punk, here are some links:

• God Save the Queen live
• God Save the Queen studio version
• Seventeen live (with Sid Vicious)
• Interview on the UK's "Today" show with Bill Grundy

It should go without saying that the interview contains some naughty language. So naughty, in fact, that this little interview cost Grundy his job on TV. It was Grundy's fault really -- he told them to "say something outrageous." Never let it be said the Sex Pistols declined the opportunity. Click here for a transcript of the interview. Again, the "outrageous" language is left intact -- for history's sake.

Van Halen rehearsal videos online

The Van Halen/David Lee Roth reunion tour is about a week away, and word is beginning to leak out over the Internet on the status of rehearsals. To everyone's surprise, the word is mostly positive.

Blabbermouth.net has a fan's account of the band's Sept. 8 rehearsal in the Los Angeles area (the exact location is being kept under wraps). There are even videos of the rehearsal posted online. Click here to see them. Here are some of the highlights from the mystery fan:

"Eddie was the first to arrive, and very shortly after that, Wolfgang and Alex. The three of them then met on stage and Eddie said into the P.A., 'We're not opening with it, but let's play 'I'm The One' just to warm up. And that they did. A funny moment occurred when Ed screwed up the bit right before they usually go a capella. He spoke into the mic, 'Did I mess that up?' Wolf confirmed, 'Yeah, you were late.' Both were smiling." ...

"When Dave did show up, right from the start, he was all smiles. He was dressed in tight, flared out leather pants and a black/striped dress shirt." ...

"Wolfgang did a fine job, even providing decent sounding backup vocals. I have absolutely nothing bad to say about him, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that Michael Anthony was missed. While Wolf competently filled the position, he doesn't have the same sound, either in his playing or in his voice, as Michael." ...

"The great thrill of the show was seeing Dave and Ed interact. If there's any animosity between them, it didn't show at all."

Times pop music critic Sean Daly has the possible setlist on his blog. According to "Mystery Fan," it was Wolfgang that picked out all the tunes.

[AP photo]

80s fest: I wanna go back

A few leftover notes and stories from Saturday's 80s Fest concert in Clearwater, starring Rick Springfield, Eddie Money and John Waite:

PAGING DR. NOAH DRAKE: I've hadn't seen Rick so playful about his role on General Hospital until this tour. When the Stuck in the 80s podcast asked him about it last year during our interview, he seemed to consider it a way to pay the bills. But during his TV interview with Bay News 9's Virginia Johnson, he said he's begun to really enjoy the acting -- just so long as the storylines were good.

'HARD TO WATCH': Rick's 1984 movie "Hard To Hold" was a real dog. But movie-goers do get to see his naked butt in it -- something he proudly announced on stage Saturday night (but something I had mentally blocked over the last 20 years. It is, afterall, perhaps the only 80s movie I haven't wanted to see more than once.) I  wonder how well the movie is doing on Netflix rentals these days.

LADIES NIGHT: It was a huge crowd at Ruth Eckerd Hall on Saturday with about three quarters of the seats going to females and the remaining seats going to reluctant husbands and boyfriends who were trying to earn points by tagging along. The two sisters sitting next to me were from Orlando, and they told me they both take a week off from work (and from their husbands) every year to follow Rick around to all his Southeastern US gigs. They knew his setlist better than I did.

EDDIE, EDDIE!: Eddie Money continues to just amaze audiences with his steady set of hits from the late 70s and 80s, even though he hasn't aged quite as well as Rick Springfield. (Nobody ages as well as Springfield.) For fans of the movie "Love Actually," Eddie's a dead ringer of aging rocker "Billy Mack," played by the amazing Bill Nighy.

WELL WORTH THE WAITE: I've been a fan of John Waite's pretty much since I first heard his work in the late '70s. Turns out he's about the nicest guy in person you could possibly imagine. Whereas most musicians hole themselves up in their dressing rooms until it's time to go on stage, John would just stroll the hallways backstage with his guitar, strumming away while singing to himself. One of the Ruth Eckerd managers leaned over to me and said, "Look, THIS is what the music business should be all about." I think Waite's short set surprised a lot of fans that night, and hopefully this is the beginning of a renewed appreciation of his work. (Check out our podcast for a sampling of his tunes.)

Backstage at 80s Fest

Greetings from backstage at Clearwater's Ruth Eckerd Hall, site of tonight's epic 80s concert, featuring Rick Springfield, Eddie Money and John Waite.

The Ruth Eckerd Hall folks, to whom I'm deeply thankful, have gotten all three acts to agree to give me unlimited backstage access for tonight's show. You know what that means -- raiding the catering room for Diet Cokes while scamming photos and meeting the  musicians. All in the good name of Internet journalism. Hey, I'm doing this for YOU. Not for me.

3:40 p.m.
I've already snuck in Springfield's dressing room for a couple cozy photos from his couch. Other than some really comfortable furniture, his backstage suite has some snacks and enough bottled water to last a month.

Eddie Money is on stage doing his soundcheck right as I type. (The drum set must be on the other side of my dressing room, since the computer is shaking with each thumping of the bass drum.)

Soundchecks are totally off-limits to the press and everyone else who is deemed "non-essential." I have no clue what the deal is with all the secrecy. It's not like I'm going to run out on stage and yell "Gimme Some Water!"

4:30 p.m.
I get a personalized tour of the stage as the crew sets up for Springfield's sound check. Rick's plane is circling Tampa, waiting for the thunderstorms to settle down before landing.

Eddie's guitars are set up on Stage Right, waiting for this set. Meanwhile, the sound crew is checking out the drums. It's pretty much as you imagine: "Bang!" "Check one" "Bang!" "Check two." Over and over again.

Wait! The guys coming on stage now look familiar. Yes, it's Rick Springfield's band. And the man himself strolls onstage moments later to take a look around. A little buzz goes up the spine. But he's gone as quickly as he arrived, shuttled back to his dressing room.

4:45 p.m.
While Rick enjoys his 10 cases of bottled water, 20 or so members of his fan club have been escorted into the first three rows of the audience. Why? Because THEY get to watch the soundcheck! Not me. Probably because I'm not a 25-year-old blonde, buxom female. As soon as they sit down, they whip out their compacts and start touching up their makeup.

5 p.m.
Springfield's drummer is going non-stop on the other side of the wall as their sound check begins. Meanwhile, I've finally gotten my official press pass for the evening along with the much coveted secret code to open the backstage door. All access, baby! By all access, what they really mean is, "Steve, please stay out of all the dressing rooms except your own, and stop giving Eddie Money that creepy look. And by all means, no more running and sliding across the stage."

5:15 p.m.
My dressing room is right across from catering, and the smell is beginning to get a little too much to resist. So I wander across the hall to see what the rock stars are eating tonight. Turns out it's Italian Night here at Ruth Eckerd, so if there's any variation of pasta that can be covered with cheese and sauce, it's here.

5:20 p.m.
The production staff here is getting a little anxious. Springfield's soundcheck should have been over by now, but it's really barely getting started. And John Waite hasn't shown up yet. He'll be the last do to a soundcheck -- possibly even after the hall opens the main doors. Meanwhile, a TV crew from Bay News 9 is waiting patiently to interview Rick after his sound check. I'm going to try to ambush Rick as well for a photo when he finishes with that.

5:35 p.m.
John Waite has been spotted! He's in his dressing room, reading the Q&A article that Sean Daly and I wrote for today's paper. Meanwhile, I'm listening as other members of the staff in a different room read aloud my Top 5 list about Eddie Money. It's pretty bizarre hearing other people read your stuff when you're sitting in the next room.

I now also have the set list for Springfield. He's opening up with "Who Killed Rock n' Roll" then going into "Affair of the Heart." He'll close with "Love is Alright."

5:49 p.m.
John Waite is singing and strumming his guitar in his dressing room.

6:01 p.m.
Mr. Springfield walks into the Green Room for his TV interview with Bay News 9's Virginia Johnson.  I introduce myself to Rick and remind him that I interviewed him for a podcast last time he was here. He immediately perks ups. He's wearing a leather jacket and his shoes look untied, but nobody besides me probably notices. Virginia fires away with some great questions, asking about his recent return to Australia and even manages to get him to turn some phrases in his native accent. I'm sitting in a couch three feet away during the 15-minute interview, trying not to be a distraction (though the staff walking by and the door chimes might be distracting enough.)

As soon as the interview ends, Virginia pops up and asks if I'll take a photo of her and Rick. Happy to do so. And here it is...

6:40 p.m.
I'm rehearsing my introduction for the show in my dressing room. If all goes according to plan, I'm supposed to get up there -- alone, since Sean Daly wimped out -- and go through a three-minute monologue, announcing future 80s acts and then introducing tonight's bill o' fare.

But right now, all the blood has left my hands and the chills are running through me something fierce. I can see the headlines now, "Man dies on stage from massive cowardness."

6:51 p.m.
John Waite is outside my dressing room, so I summon up the courage and introduce myself. He's incredibly kind and begins playing "You Are My Sunshine" as I get a photo taken with him. The conversation is predictably one-sided:

John Waite: "Hey Steve, how's the newspaper business?"

Me: "....... (inaudible sounds as mind locks up)"

John Waite: "How about I play another song for you?"

I suddenly realize he and I have the same basic haircut. Mine's just shorter.

Shortly before we go on stage together, he begins running through several other classic tunes, then tells me how the theme song to "The Beverly Hillbillies" sounds like a half dozen Dylan songs and begins singing it, "... up from the ground came a bubbling crude..."

I'm a wreck, but John Waite is playing TV theme songs for me. So all in all, things are going pretty good.

 

7:03 p.m.
Stage announcement time. I'm standing just off stage left when they tell me I have to do announcements AND give the formal intro for John Waite, who is standing right behind me. So I skip onto the stage and the next three minutes is pretty much a complete blur. I remember thinking, "Are these people applauding what I'm saying? Or did Springfield stick his head out?" Finally when it was time to wrap it up, I got brave and uttered these totally unfamiliar words: "Please welcome my good friend, John Waite!"

7:30 p.m.
Great set by John Waite! Just him and two other musicians on guitar. Simple, elegant and unforgettable. He even did an acoustic version of his Babys hit "Isn't It Time." I wish he could have stayed on for another hour or two. A half hour isn't enough for this guy.

8:55 p.m.
Eddie Money is just finishing his set now with "Shakin'" -- and he's had the crowd on its feet nearly all night. Eddie performs here in Tampa Bay nearly every year, but you'd never know it from the enthusiasm of the crowd. They were on their feet from "Two Tickets to Paradise" straight on through the end.

He's working the backstage crowd now as I finish typing. What's really cool is that his band brought some of their children on stage with instruments to "play" along during a few of the songs. Eddie's daughter Jesse Money also sang background vocals and took centerstage for a couple of her own solo tunes.

We've got 25 minutes until Dr. Noah Drake hits the stage. I'm heading to the lobby to find a pair of earplugs to handle all the screaming.

11 p.m.
OK, so the show is over. The highlight? Probably Rick Springfield singing "Jesse's Girl" RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. How close? Maybe a foot away. Life doesn't suck right now.

Lots of other audience members got some up close and personal time with Rick, including this young girl who sang along to "Don't Talk to Strangers."

Let me make this perfectly clear: I did NOT take this photo. My assistant did. I'm sure she had a somewhat different agenda at the concert than I did. Hey, I'm just about the music!

But Springfield really is more than music. During his 75-minute set, he'd occasionally poke fun at himself and some of the goofier plot lines on "General Hospital," even the one about himself looking like a fictional rock star named Eli Love. And he borrowed a fan's cell phone and used it to call her husband. "Hey, it's Rick Springfield!" he yelled. Too bad the joke was foiled when the husband recognized his voice and said, "Hey Rick" first.

(The late comedian Sam Kinison did the same bit during a show I saw in college, but instead he called someone's ex-girlfriend. The exchange wasn't nearly as friendly, but equally funny.)

Important note here: There's no such thing as a bad seat at a Springfield concert. Rick works the whole auditorium, playing with a microphone headset and wireless guitar for at least three songs ("Love Somebody," "Human Touch" and a killer cover of The Who's "My Generation.") He started singing "Jesse's Girl" right in front of me, as I mentioned above. It was a fantastic version of the tune.

If you ever think you're tired of an 80s classic, just ask Rick Springfield to sing it in front of you. Problem solved.

11:30 p.m.
I'm backstage, wrapping up things. Rick's still here too, signing autographs and posing for photos. Every 30 seconds or so, he passes by my dressing room, peaking inside to see what's going on. (Trust me, Rick. You're having more fun than I am. Get back to the ladies.) He's also on his fourth shirt of the night, my trusty assistant tells me as she snaps away a few final pics.

I manage to sneak out to my car just before he leaves the building. But the cries and squeals coming from the far side of the hall tell me he's encountering his last barrage of fans for the night.

So another 80s Fest is in the books. If you've never been to one of these shows, you're really missing out. It's a revival of sorts that will have you on your feet, singing along at the top of your lungs and generally reliving life in the 80s again. So until the next show, just stay stuck in the 80s here with the rest of us.

[Photos by Marina Spears]

Super smackdown at '80s Fest

Rick Springfield is tonight's headliner for '80s Superfest at Ruth Eckerd Hall, but is he the biggest hit machine from that magical music decade? This week, I challenged St. Petersburg Times pop culture guru Sharon Fink to defend her heartthrob while I defend the very masculine and prolific Eddie Money.

Later today, I'll be blogging live from backstage at Ruth Eckerd Hall, where I'm told I get to polish Eddie's sax. (I hope I didn't misunderstand that.)

But in the meantime, read our epic battle and tell us who wins:

Sharon's top 5 reasons Rick Springfield should headline

5. You're no one until the Biography channel has done an hourlong examination of your life, from the childhood in which you survived crushing loss of your favorite goldfish in a misguided fishing accident to an adulthood that has been rockier than the Rockies but ultimately has you ruling the world. Rick has one about him. Eddie doesn't.

4. Rick has the better (though little-used) accent. Australian always trumps anything from the Five Boroughs.

3. Because sex comes first in sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll: Rick'll get more women every time. It's the timeless allure of tall, dark and handsome. And great arms.

2. Every true headliner has a song that every woman wants to have been written about her. Every woman wants to be "Jessie's Girl" - to have Rick lust after her, and because she would be smart enough to dump that loser Jessie for Rick. No woman wants to be the poor sapette Eddie desperately corners in a bar and shouts at "Take Me Home Tonight."

1. Three of the most powerful words in pop culture history: Dr. Noah Drake.

Steve's Top 5 reasons Eddie Money should headline

5. Eddie's the real songwriting guru. I'm thinking of having the lyrics to Shakin' embroidered on a pillow: "She was up and down and round and round, sh-sh-shakin'! Oh-oh-oh!"

4. Eddie has cool co-stars. Listen closely to Kenny Loggins' "I'm Alright" and you'll hear a young Eddie singing "You make me feel good!" in the background. And Eddie has Ronnie Spector singing with him in "Take Me Home Tonight."

3. I've met them both, and both are tall, handsome gentleman. But I'm taking Eddie in any knife fight that happens backstage in the catering room when only one ham sandwich is left.

2. Before he became a musician, Eddie trained to be a cop. I like the odds of being on his side when the Ruth Eckerd crowd gets too rowdy. "Break out the riot gear and pepper spray, Eddie!"

1. Rick yearns for "Jessie's Girl," but Eddie shoots and scores with "Think I'm In Love" and "Two Tickets to Paradise." He's more than a headliner ... he's a closer!

Who wins? I'm heading off to Ruth Eckerd Hall, so stay tuned for backstage photos and updates.

[Rick Springfield publicity photo; Eddie Money photo by Kathleen Flynn of the Times]

Ann Wilson shows her Heart

Ann Wilson's voice is so unique and powerful, I'd spend money to listen to her sing the "Dollar Value Menu" at McDonalds.

Lucky for me and the rest of her fans that she released her first-ever solo CD this week -- "Hope & Glory." The album is full of new renditions of rock classics and guest appearances from legendary artists, including Elton John, Alison Krauss and Rufus Wainwright.  Even Ann's sister, Nancy Wilson from Heart, joins in on a few tunes.

"Hope & Glory" is definitely a trip through the music that inspired Ann and Heart. "Where To Now St. Peter" (by Elton John) and "Immigrant Song" (Led Zeppelin) prosper from her reinvention. Bob Dylan's "A Hard Rain's a-Gonna Fall" benefits from as a duet dipped in patches of blue grass.

"Each of these songs holds a special place in my soul," Ann writes on her Myspace page. "At one time or another every one of them has kept me up at night to the point of exasperation and will not be banished, as I lay sleepless on my pillow. Such songs as these carry me through my life, and they are a standard to which all new music I hear and write must compare."

The only original Ann Wilson tune is "Little Problems, Little Lies," which retells a chapter from her childhood, being brought up as the daughter of a Marine who disagreed with the Vietnam War. Ann's voice reaches Heart-like peaks here, bringing fans hope that they'll hear it again live on the next tour.

Overall, "Hope & Glory" is a must-have CD for Heart fans and for those who just want to explore the music the inspired Ann Wilson.

Annie Lennox touring ... would I lie to you?

Annie Lennox is heading out on tour in support of her new CD, "Songs of Mass Destruction."

It's only a small, 15-city tour for now, according to Pollstar.com, but more dates could be added. Tickets go on sale today. Check her official website for dates and cities.

The new CD is set for release Oct. 1. It's her first CD since "Bare" in 2003. The tour, only her third since going solo in 1992, will play to smaller venues. She last hit the the road in 2004 for the "Sacred Love Tour" with Sting.

Of course 80s fans know Lennox best for her years with Dave Stewart and The Eurythmics. Though the band never formally broke up, they haven't recorded a new studio album since 1999. Stewart and Lennox still occasionally appear together and perform as The Eurythmics, most recently in 2005 to promote a greatest hits collection, "Ultimate Collection," which had two new songs.

Top 5 Eurythmics tunes from the 80s:

5. Sexcrime (Nineteen Eighty-Four): "How I wish I'd been unborn."

4. Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This): "Everybody's looking for something."

3. Missionary Man: "I was borne from original sin."

2. Would I Lie to You?: "You're the biggest fake. That much is true."

1. Here Comes the Rain Again: "I want to talk like lovers do"

[Photo from Eurythmics.com]

Backstage with Rick, Eddie and John

Hey, hey, 80s aficionados! Are you ready for a crazy blogging experience? This Saturday night, I'll be blogging all day from backstage at the '80s Fest concert at Clearwater's Ruth Eckerd Hall, starring Rick Springfield, Eddie Money and John Waite.

I'll have a slew of photos from the dark catacomb of hallways, stories from outside the dressing rooms, gossip from the wings off the stage and tantalizing tales of catering delights with our 80s songwriting gods. Tune in all day Saturday for continuous updates. I'll post photos and briefs nearly instantaneously.

If you're attending the concert, be sure to yell out when you see your's truly on stage to do the show introductions at the beginning of the night. I'll be the plump, sweaty guy on stage slurring his words worse than Courtney Love at a fraternity kegger.

If you're not attending ... then you're crazy. These three guys put on an incredible show. I've met both Rick and Eddie in person before and seen their past shows at Ruth Eckerd Hall, and they're not to be missed. And this time, I finally get to see John Waite perform live. I can't wait.

Want of taste of what to expect? Check out our former podcasts featuring music and interviews from all three:

• Rick Springfield and Eddie Money at "We Are the 80s" show in 2006
• John Waite music and interview in 2007

[Photo from rickspringfield.com]

They should have named the dog "Crystal Skull"

"Raiders of the Lost Ark" -- great movie name! "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" -- I hear that and I'm on the edge of my seat. But ...

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?

Are you kidding me, Spielberg? You take 20 years off after what should have been the final movie in the Indiana Jones saga, and THIS is the name you come up with for your much-hyped sequel?

It sounds like an episode of Super Friends. "The Wonder Twins and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." Now, that I buy.

The movie, still in production, brings back Harrison Ford in the title role, along with Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett, Ray Winstone, John Hurt and Jim Broadbent, according to the Associated Press. Steven Spielberg returns to direct.

And Karen Allen, who's been absent since the original 1981 film, returns to reprise her role as "Marion Ravenwood." (Sean Connery, who played Indiana's dad in '89's "Last Crusade," isn't returning.)

It'll take more than a couple extra bench-presses by Ford to get over the cornball movie title though. Still, it's