100 episodes? Mama no!

Are you ready to relive the history of Stuck in the 80s? All the hits ... the miscues ... the uncontrollable sweating of two pasty, bloated guys with no lives beyond the year 1989?

The 100th episode of our podcast is now online. Click here to download it or click here to subscribe to all our episodes for free on iTunes.

Lest I imply that it was merely Sean Daly and myself that are responsible for all 100 counts of crimes against humanity, let me give much overdue credit to Gina Vivinetto (my first co-host), Cathy Wos (our longtime co-host now living in Seattle), Brendan Watson (our first producer) and Dave Morrison (the maestro and our former producer). Special thanks to our special guests hosts over the last two years, including: Eric Deggans, Chase Squires, Sharon Fink, John Fleming, Steve Persall and Rick Gershman.

What can you expect during show #100? Lots and lots of highlights, including:

• Sean's fight with Huey Lewis.
• My tongue-tied pass at Martha Quinn.
• Our karaoke party with Kenny Loggins.
• And yes, the original "Mama No!" story about topless blondes from Norway.

As always, we appreciate your comments and e-mails. And stay tuned as we continue to find reasons to stay firmly stuck in the 80s.

Oh captain, my captain

Did you correctly guess last week's "Name that 80s Tune" from Episode 99 of Stuck in the 80s: It was "Captain of Her Heart" by Double (pronounced "doo-blay").

Who got the challenge right? Just about everyone. Seriously. We had more than 30 correct answers. That's incredible considering Double is sadly remembered as a one-hit wonder.

Double was a Swiss group founded by Kurt Maloo and Felix Haug. Though "Captain of Her Heart" was their breakthrough hit, hard-core fans will also recommend "Devil's Ball," "Rangoon Moon" and "Woman of the World." The group broke up in 1987, and Haug died in 2004 at age 52.

Maloo still performs though. He has an official website, an entertaining blog, a store on CafePress and a new album called "Maloo vs. Double: Loopy Avenue." He reworks many of Double's songs on the new disc, including the aforementioned "Captain of Her Heart."

EPISODE 100!!
The landmark century mark for the Stuck in the 80s is almost upon us. I finished editing the show last night, but I want to take a final listen to it before releasing it.

It's just over an hour long, which might make it our longest show to date. I tried to squeeze in as many fan greetings as possible, but a few will have to wait for future shows.

Look for a couple surprises in the 100th show, including a new Name that Tune challenge that will have you hitting rewind on iTunes a couple hundred times.

For Hall of Fame, anybody but Madonna

What do Madonna, John Mellencamp and the Beastie Boys have in common? They are among the nine nominees for the 2008 Class of the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame, just announced today.

Other nominees include Donna Summer, Chic, Afrika Bambaataa, Leonard Cohen, The Dave Clark Five and The Ventures. Only the top 5 vote-getters are inducted.

Mellencamp and the Beastie Boys are strong choices. But Madonna? Have you ever heard anyone call her a rock star? Puleeeze. Let's hope the rock journalists who vote on the honor come to their senses and leave her off their ballots.

Performers become eligible for the hall 25 years after the release of their first record. So for Mellencamp, go back to 1982 and you'll find "American Fool," definitely the first of many classics. The Beastie Boys had a couple EPs in '82 and '83. Their landmark "Licensed to Ill" album didn't come out 'til 1986, so they seem like they're maybe a year or two early. As for Madonna -- her 1983 effort was her self-titled debut, which included "Borderline," "Holiday," and "Lucky Star." Ready to rock out? I don't think so.

I can think of a half dozen other acts that HAVE to be ahead of Madonna.

• Heart: Ann and Nancy Wilson! "Barracuda" ... "Magic Man" ... Come on! It's criminal they're not in the hall yet.
• Duran Duran: Unlike Madonna, these guys really are Brits AND actually know how to play instruments!
• Styx: I can see it now. Dennis DeYoung rejoins the band for the induction performance.
• Kiss: I want the full makeup treatment, fire-breathing, blood-spitting, drum-solo, "Beth"-singing version of the band.
• And while I'm at it ... Huey Lewis, Rush, the Go-Go's, the B-52s, Billy Idol, REO Speedwagon, Journey. The names just keep on coming to me.

Anybody but Madonna. Really. It would be the equivalent of electing Michael Jackson as president of Big Brothers Big Sisters of America.

[AP photo]

'Wild at heart and weird on top'

After hearing a rumor that Laura Dern is playing the role of Katherine Harris in an HBO movie about the botched 2000 presidential election, I may never be able to watch another of her 80s flicks again.

And that'd be a shame, because she's in some classics:

Teachers in 1984 stands out ("Mr. Jurel, I just had an abortion. I think I'm old enough to smoke."). So does Blue Velvet in '86 ("I can't figure out if you're a detective or a pervert."). Same with Mask in '85 (though Stoltz still gives me nightmares).

However, what I remember her best for is Wild at Heart with Nic Cage, made in the unspeakable year of 1990. But I'm grandfathering it into the 80s -- just for today.

Top 3 Laura Dern lines in Wild at Heart:

3. "One of these days the sun's gonna come up and burn a hole clean through the planet like a giant electrical x-ray."

2. "Uh oh. Baby, you'd better get me back to that hotel. You got me hotter than Georgia asphalt."

1. "This whole world's wild at heart and weird on top."

[Wild at Heart publicity photo]

'Yihla Moja. The man is dead'

TODAY'S RETRO-REVIEW: 1987's "Cry Freedom," starring Denzel Washington and Kevin Kline, directed by Richard Attenborough.

THE PLOT: The life and death of South African activist Steve Biko (Washington) as seen through the eyes of white newspaper publisher Donald Woods (Kline). Biko died in police custody on Sept. 12, 1977, during the apartheid era in South Africa. The movie is based on the book "Biko," written by Woods, who fled the country with his family after Biko's death.

MAYBE YOU REMEMBER: Denzel Washington scored his first Academy Award nomination (supporting actor) for his role as the non-violent, anti-apartheid activist. (It remains easily one of his best performances to date.)

SURELY YOU CAN'T FORGET: Peter Gabriel's song "Biko" was included on the movie's soundtrack, even though it was released in 1980. The song was covered by Joan Baez in 1987 and Simple Minds in 1989. The lyrics are haunting: "Oh Biko, Biko, because Biko. Oh Biko, Biko, because Biko. Yihla Moja, Yihla Moja. The man is dead." (The phrase "Yihla Moja" means "Come Spirit.")

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID: "It's sort of a liberal yuppie version of that Disney movie where the brave East German family builds a hot-air balloon and floats to freedom." -- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times.

WHY WE LOVE IT: Do you remember when people other than Michael Moore made films with a conscience? Go back to the '80s, my friends, and re-watch "Ghandi" and "Cry Freedom." One of the most disturbing scenes -- and "Cry Freedom" expectedly has a lot of them -- depicts the "Soweto Uprising" of 1976, where police opened fire on 10,000 students, killing more than 500 and wounding thousands more. After that tragic event, sanctions were leveled against South Africa globally.

FIVE MEMORABLE QUOTES BY STEVE BIKO:

"So as a prelude whites must be made to realize that they are only human, not superior. Same with Blacks. They must be made to realize that they are also human, not inferior."

"The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed."

"Black man, you are on your own."

"You are either alive and proud or you are dead, and when you are dead, you can't care anyway."

"In time, we shall be in a position to bestow on South Africa the greatest possible gift - a more human face."

When the Cheese begins to fall

Oh my. Jermaine Jackson and Pia Zadora's video for "When The Rain Begins To Fall" is a real tear-jerker. That means I'm basically crying at the thought that I once thought this was a great song and video.

What does it remind you of? I'm thinking its the evil love child of "The Road Warrior" meets "Prayer of the Rollerboys." With maybe a little "Karate Kid" mixed in there for flavor. A threesome of bad chemistry and retarded poetry.

Olivia Newton-John's echoes of long ago

I have a theory about Olivia Newton-John, and here it is: If she hadn't insisted on sticking to movies in the early 80s and concentrated on her music career instead, we'd have erected statues in her honor by now and she'd be filling huge arenas for concerts (instead of that hag Madonna.)

Sadly, in the year 1980, there was a cosmic shift in the space-time continuum: She made the movie Xanadu and our world was never the same. Don't get me wrong -- Xanadu has possibly one of the best soundtracks of any movie in the late 70s or 80s. Seriously. "Suddenly," "I'm Alive," "Magic," and the title song.

The rest of the actual movie? Too painful to contemplate. It was so unintentionally campy, it makes the Village People's "Can't Stop the Music" (also from 1980) look like "The Deer Hunter."

Olivia Newton-John turns 59 years old today, and here's a suitable present: A pair of tickets to the new Broadway production of "Xanadu," playing at the Helen Hayes Theatre in New York. Just visiting the production's official website is a trip through time. And ELO's Jeff Lynne returns to handles the music and lyrics. What more can an 80s fan ask for?

Reading the reviews, it seems like the stage show has found the niche it should have aimed for back in the less humorous year of 1980. The New York Times called it an "outlandishly enjoyable stage spoof of the outrageously bad movie."

After other odd choices for 80s movies-turned-to-Broadway (Color Purple, Footloose), it seems like we're finally on to something worth celebrating.

[AP photo; handout photo]

Glory Days? Guess it's passed him by

The setlist has been revealed for Bruce Springsteen's upcoming tour. PollStar.com has published the list, which includes a few songs from the 80s -- but none of the big radio hits.

That's right. No "Born in the USA." No "Glory Days." No "The River." But thankfully no "Pink Cadillac" or "Hungry Heart" either. But after taking a long look at the proposed setlist, I can say this with total comfort since I'm just a casual fan: If the Boss doesn't make it down to Florida on this tour, I won't be missing much.

Here's PollStar.com's tentative setlist:

• Radio Nowhere
• No Surrender
• Gypsy Biker
• Empty Sky
• Something in the Night
• Girls in Their Summer Clothes
• Night
• Promised Land
• Livin' in The Future
• Devil's Arcade
• Candy's Room
• She's the One
• Lonesome Day
• My Hometown
• The Rising
• Last to Die
• Long Walk Home
• Thundercrack
• Born to Run
• Darlington County
• American Land

Guess he drinks more than just blood

Kiefer Sutherland, everyone's favorite 80s vampire, was arrested for DUI early Tuesday by L.A. police after making an illegal U-turn. He blew more than the legal limit of 0.08 during a breath test, Reuters reports.

A DUI and arrest puts Sutherland in very exclusive company out in Hollywood. Well, not really. I think he might have been the only celebrity left who hadn't yet been arrested for this charge.

Of course, if you study his movie lines over the years, you could tell this brush with the law was just a matter of time:

• "I don't see your problem; we brought a whole bunch of fishing gear, and if a cop asks us what we're doing here, we're just here to take a couple steelhead out of the river, and look what we found!" (Stand By Me, 1986)
• "It is too late, my blood is in your veins." (The Lost Boys, 1987)
• "I used to ride with the dirty underwear gang out of Liberty, Missouri." (Young Guns, 1988)
• "We have naked people giving us free food!" (1969, 1988)
• "Somehow we've brought our sins back physically. And they're pissed." (Flatliners, 1990)

[Lost Boys screen shot]

Kirk, my old friend: Greatest sequels in the 80s

So, 80s fans, you're split on the idea of a Ferris Bueller sequel, eh? You wonder if there's enough magic left in Hollywood to do justice to that John Hughes classic? You think sequels are all garbage?

Well, to paraphrase the poetry of Fast Time's legendary scalper Mike Damone ("Scalper? Did you call me a scalper??"): Can you honestly tell me you forgot? Forgot the magnetism of Kirk vs. Khan? Or the charisma of Clubber Lang or Ivan Drago?

The 80s were full of memorable sequels (and yes, some very bad ones. Just click here). After much thought, I give you...

15 BEST MOVIE SEQUELS FROM THE 80s:

15. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986): "Your use of language has altered since our arrival. It is currently laced with, shall we say, more colorful metaphors, 'double dumb-ass on you' and so forth."

14. Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984): "Girls are whack, man!"

13. Return of the Jedi (1983): "Good, I can feel your anger. I am unarmed. Take your weapon. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete."

12. Rocky 4 (1985): "I must break you."

11. Lethal Weapon 2 (1989): "Guys like you don't die on toilets."

10. Ghostbusters 2 (1989): "Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's God-given right."

9. Rocky 3 (1982): "I don't hate Balboa. I pity the fool, and I will destroy any man who tries to take what I got!"

8. Christmas Vacation (1989): "We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f---ing Kaye.

7. Aliens (1986): "Hey, maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal!"

6. Superman 2 (1980): "Come and kneel before Zod!"

5. Evil Dead 2 (1987): "Someone's in my fruit cellar! Someone with a fresh soooul"

4. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989): "Germany has declared war on the Jones boys."

3. Empire Strikes Back (1980): "Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm?"

2. The Road Warrior (1981): "I am gravely disappointed. Again you have made me unleash my dogs of war."

1. Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan (1982): "Ah, Kirk, my old friend, do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? ... It is very cold -- in space."