'Happy, Happy Halloween ... Silver Shamrock'
TODAY'S RETRO-REVIEW: 1982's "Halloween III: Season of the Witch," starring Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin and Dan O'Herlihy. Directed and written by Tommy Lee Wallace, a longtime contributor John Carpenter films (including the original Halloween in 1978).
THE PLOT: A sinister mask-making company has secret plans to kill millions of treat-or-treaters with something hidden in Halloween masks. (Hidden laser beams inside the masks will fry the little kiddies -- pretty terrifying at the time. Of course, it'd be years before we realized that no such high-tech toys actually work as advertised.) Watch a clip.
MAYBE YOU REMEMBER: This is the only move in the Halloween series that doesn't revolve around the character of Michael Myers. That, coupled with the $2.5-million budget, doomed it to the worst box-office performance of all the movies in that family.
SURELY YOU CAN'T FORGET: Nobody can get the TV jingle of Silver Shamrock Novelties Co. out of the head: "Six more days 'til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. Six more days 'til Halloween ... Silver Shamrock."
WHAT THE CRITICS SAID: "A low-rent thriller from the first frame. This is one of those Identikit movies, assembled out of familiar parts from other, better movies." --- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times.
WHY WE LOVE IT ANYWAY: Aside from the great ad jingle, there are references to other movies sprinkled liberally throughout ("The Thing," "On Golden Pond") and a sense of humor that would become standard in horror movies later in the decade.
TOP 5 LINES FROM HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH
5. "I don't believe this commercial! It never stops!"
4. "Drinking and doctoring. Great combination."
3. "All witches, all skeletons, all Jack-O-Lanterns, gather 'round and watch. Watch the magic pumpkin."
2. "Well, he had to be one strong businessman, I can tell you that. You don't just pull someone's skull apart without a little lower-arm strength, know what I mean?"
1. "I was always taught that when someone needs help, you help them. Unless there's trouble. There isn't going to be any trouble is there?"
Relive the music, movies and culture of the greatest decade ever with Times online editor Steve Spears. A teen during the decade, Steve is obsessed with everything from Duran Duran to Journey, John Hughes to John Cusack, and parachute pants to Reaganomics.
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Best. Movie. Ever.
Posted by: Lawrence Monoson | October 31, 2007 at 08:51 AM
Today (Halloween) there is a Halloween series movie marathon on AMC. I really only liked the original Halloween in this series. I tolerated the second one. The inbetweeners were just pathetic imitators. I kind of liked the final installment of the Michael Myers saga, H2o. Jamie Lee Curtis giving him the final blow to the head just worked for me.
Posted by: Marissa | October 31, 2007 at 08:56 AM
Ah, if only you were the real Lawrence Monoson. I'd have about 50 questions for you, my friend!
Posted by: Spears | October 31, 2007 at 08:58 AM
worst. movie. ever.
Posted by: chase | October 31, 2007 at 09:32 AM
By my definition, just about every horror movie is the "worst. movie. ever." The only exceptions? Maybe The Lost Boys and American Werewolf in London.
"Hi, Mickey!"
Posted by: Spears | October 31, 2007 at 09:52 AM
For some reason, I remember actually enjoying this movie. Maybe I should watch it again but sober this time.
Posted by: topcad | October 31, 2007 at 11:54 AM
I liked the first one the best and that's not saying much. The others were just cashing in on the Halloween franchise, lots of money just not a lot of thought. I really liked "American Werewolf" though.
"David, you're hurting my feelings." Classic.
Posted by: Tom | October 31, 2007 at 03:40 PM
I watched this earlier this afternoon. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ the guy from the Howling was in it. To the guy who said, best.movie.ever You don't get out much, do you?
Posted by: Marissa | October 31, 2007 at 07:49 PM
Even after all these years, i am still perplexed as to where all thoses snakes and worms and bugs came from at the end. Perhaps the lasers spontaneously created life from Daniel O'Herlihy's hair gel?
Hey Marissa, I think he was just being a smidge sarcastic. I don't think anyone involved with this movie even cares that it exists anymore.
duty now, Steve-o
Posted by: Douglas Arthur | October 31, 2007 at 10:57 PM
My god I should just not type after I've been curling (and drinking) Just look at all the typos!
Still O'Herlihy outdoes himself just a few years later in Robocop..a movie that certainly deserves its own podcast, hint hint
duty now, Steve-o
Posted by: Douglas Arthur | October 31, 2007 at 11:00 PM
Sarcasm intended or not, it deserves a mighty poke in the forehead.
Posted by: Marissa | October 31, 2007 at 11:16 PM
Wait! You mean if you take a laser beam in the eyes, spiders and roaches don't fly out of your head? I'm going to have to rethink this whole Stuck in the 80s thing!
Posted by: Spears | November 01, 2007 at 08:43 AM