'Happy, Happy Halloween ... Silver Shamrock'

TODAY'S RETRO-REVIEW: 1982's "Halloween III: Season of the Witch," starring Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin and Dan O'Herlihy. Directed and written by Tommy Lee Wallace, a longtime contributor John Carpenter films (including the original Halloween in 1978).

THE PLOT: A sinister mask-making company has secret plans to kill millions of treat-or-treaters with something hidden in Halloween masks. (Hidden laser beams inside the masks will fry the little kiddies -- pretty terrifying at the time. Of course, it'd be years before we realized that no such high-tech toys actually work as advertised.) Watch a clip.

MAYBE YOU REMEMBER: This is the only move in the Halloween series that doesn't revolve around the character of Michael Myers. That, coupled with the $2.5-million budget, doomed it to the worst box-office performance of all the movies in that family.

SURELY YOU CAN'T FORGET: Nobody can get the TV jingle of Silver Shamrock Novelties Co. out of the head: "Six more days 'til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. Six more days 'til Halloween ... Silver Shamrock."

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID: "A low-rent thriller from the first frame. This is one of those Identikit movies, assembled out of familiar parts from other, better movies." --- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times.

WHY WE LOVE IT ANYWAY: Aside from the great ad jingle, there are references to other movies sprinkled liberally throughout ("The Thing," "On Golden Pond") and a sense of humor that would become standard in horror movies later in the decade.

TOP 5 LINES FROM HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH

5. "I don't believe this commercial! It never stops!"

4. "Drinking and doctoring. Great combination."

3. "All witches, all skeletons, all Jack-O-Lanterns, gather 'round and watch. Watch the magic pumpkin."

2. "Well, he had to be one strong businessman, I can tell you that. You don't just pull someone's skull apart without a little lower-arm strength, know what I mean?"

1. "I was always taught that when someone needs help, you help them. Unless there's trouble. There isn't going to be any trouble is there?"

B-52s ready to debut 'Funplex'

Sixteen years later, isn't it time for a new album from the world's greatest party band? Hell yeah! And here's the scoop on it.

The B-52s' new disc is called "Funplex" and it's due for release on Feb. 26. "Pump," the first track on the album, is set to be the first release, according to rumors around the web.

The band has also announced a few dates for a forthcoming tour. They play New York's Roseland Ballroom on Halloween night, the Roxy in LA on Nov. 16, Salt Lake City on Nov. 17 and the Florida Theatre in Jacksonville on Feb. 15.

Will Stuck in the 80s make a pilgrimage to the city it hates most to catch that February show? It's a distinct possibility. Just promise us they'll be no Lynryd Skynyrd on the radio on the trip up!

Check the band's official website for the latest news.

The Grand Delusion of Styx

What's so unique about Styx, those Chi-town prog-rockers, that makes them irresistible to book writers? (Remember, bassist Chuck Panozzo penned his own version of the Styx story last year.)

For starters, the band has a back-story more dramatic than any band of its generation. And until they manage to put differences aside and reunite with Dennis DeYoung, expect more written dissection of the band.

The latest book on Styx is called "The Grand Delusion: The Unauthorized True Story of Styx" by Sterling  Whitaker. The author allows minimal personal commentary and lets the band members and those in the inside circle tell the story of their highly dysfunctional history.

The result: A compelling and often sad tale of a group of vastly different personalities who formed an unlikely alliance and became a superstar act for the decades.

Whitaker, who lives in Nashville, wrote "Unsung Heroes of Rock Guitar" in 2003. He recently took time out to answer some questions from Stuck in the 80s on his latest book:

Why the attraction to Styx for a biography? You must be a super-fan.

"Absolutely. When I was in kindergarten, I won a huge stack of 45s at a cakewalk at the school fair at the gym. This was in 1975, and one of the songs was 'Lady,' which was new at that time, with B-side 'Children of the Land.' I was warped for life. Later on, 'The Grand Illusion' was the first album I ever bought with my own money, and it is still my favorite record ever recorded. When I became a freelance writer, Tommy Shaw was the first major interview I ever did."

It's an unauthorized biography. What sort of cooperation did you get from band members?

"I had been warned repeatedly by various insiders to tread lightly through the minefield of potential litigation that is the career of Styx, so I was not too surprised when I did not get cooperation from many of the principals. ...  In the end I got to interview Tommy (Shaw), Glen Burtnik (who briefly replaced Shaw) and Todd Sucherman (who took over drumming after John Panozzo) from the band, as well as many insiders such as managers, record company executives, crew members, PR people, journalists,  fans and friends."

Did any of the band members surprise you with their personalities when dealing with them one on one?

"My contact with Dennis was limited to a phone call a long time ago, but for what it's worth, he was cordial, polite, and very funny, and he also seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say."

"Tommy surprised me a bit in that he is much more intelligent and insightful than he sometimes comes across. Sometimes I think he plays that 'Aww shucks, I'm just a simple country boy' shtick out of habit, but it's not who he is; not entirely, at least. Tommy is not dumb at all. Many Styx insiders have told me that he is 'dumb like a fox,' and that although he may not have the formal education of the other guys, in street smarts he trumps them all."

-- For more information on Whitaker's book, visit his website.

Praising the 80s ... Broadway style

Finding it hard to envision an Adam Sandler movie being made into a Broadway musical? Imagine the shock for the guy who co-wrote the movie and stage version of "The Wedding Singer."

"When I first heard of it, it just seemed like one of those ridiculous things that come across your desk," Tim Herlihy says. "But the more I thought about it, it's sort of a musical movie to begin with."

Herlihy, 41, was Sander's roommate at New York University and has co-written most of the comedies ("Happy Gilmore," "The Waterboy," "Click" among them) that have turned his college buddy into box-office gold. In the mid '90s, he also served as head writer and producer of Saturday Night Live, working with other comedians including Will Ferrell, Chris Farley and Mike Myers.

With the stage version of "The Wedding Singer" playing St. Petersburg's Mahaffey Theater this week, Stuck in the 80s had a chance to interview Herlihy for the podcast. Click here to listen, or click here to subscribe to all our shows for free on iTunes.

Here are some highlights from the interview:

On Sandler's reaction to the stage version: "Somehow the signals got crossed and he came to the very, very first preview thinking this was when you were supposed to show up. But it was the very first time it'd been performed in front of an audience, so it was very rough. ... But he seemed to like it."

On converting the movie to stage: "My favorite moment of the movie is when they're eating ice cream and 'Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic' by The Police is playing in the background. You can never recapture that on stage. Just the cutting back and forth and the closeups. In the same way, we didn't want to end [the musical] on a plane as it is in the movie because how do you show that on the stage."

On Herlihy's and Sandler's infatuation with the 80s: "It's a generational thing. A lot of people thought the music was ironic in putting it in, but I really love all that music. That's when we grew up. We grew up on Atari and stuff that people look back ironically at now. There's nothing ironic about Atari to me."

Enjoy the podcast.

'There's a man on the wing!'

TODAY'S RETRO-REVIEW: 1983's Twilight Zone: The Movie, starring Dan Aykroyd, Vic Morrow, Albert Brooks, John Larroquette, Scatman Crothers, John Lithgow and many others. Written by Rod Sterling and John Landis. Individual directors are Landis, Steven Spielberg, Joe Dante and George Miller.

THE PLOT: The movie is broken into four segments -- each its own horror/sci-fi story with its own director and cast. Segment one: A bigoted businessman (Morrow) gets the tables turned on him in truly mind-bending ways. Segment two: Scatman Crothers pulls a "Cocoon" at an old-folks home (please tell me this wasn't filmed here in St. Pete). Segment three: A 10-year-old boy's evil imagination comes to life. Segment four: John Lithgow takes a plane ride he won't soon forget.

MAYBE YOU REMEMBER: A helicopter accident during filming claimed the lives of Vic Morrow and two child-actors. Lawsuits followed for a decade after the tragedy.

SURELY YOU CAN'T FORGET: John Lithgow's segment gives me nightmares every time I fly. That damn gremlin on the wing, tearing the engine apart -- chilling stuff. Lithgow's acting in this movie surpasses anything else in his career. And when the gremlin wags his finger at him and flies away, I can finally start breathing again.

THE TUNES: Very little to remember here other than "Purple Haze" by Jimi Hendix during the Vietnam scene and "The Midnight Special" by Creedence Clearwater Revival during the opening and closing scenes.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID: Our favorite critic, Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times, gave individual reviews for each segment. He panned Spielberg's "Kick The Can" piece ("so convoluted and shadowy that the action is hard to follow...") but loved Miller's direction of Lithgow.

WHY WE LOVE IT ANYWAY: It's the little details. The reference to "Animal House" in the Vietnam segment. The cameos by Akyroyd and Brooks. And that dreaded gremlin the wing.

TOP 5 LINES FROM TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE

5. "Th-th-th-that's all, Ethel!"

4. "It's not fair! You're supposed to be happy when your wishes come true!"

3. "There's a man on the wing of this airplane!"

2. "I told you guys we shouldn't have shot Lieutenant Niedermeyer!"

1. "Hey... you wanna see something really scary?"

'Wanna see something really scary?'

Halloween is nearly upon us, though it doesn't feel nearly the same this year without the daylight savings time kicking in. Trick or treating in the daylight? I think not.

Since the 80s nation is too old to go find the old "Baseball Fury" costumes from "The Warriors" that we wore every year as kids, it seems like a good year to stay home and watch a retro-horror flick.

Here's last year's list of the best horror movies of the 80s -- again. (No sense researching it all over again after all.)

The list was generated by reader suggestions, reviews of the movies and a little personal opinion here and there. It's not as long as our previous lists of best comedies, worst songs, best videos and worst films. But it'll still give you a great guide to picking movies to watch between now and Halloween.

Excerpts from critic reviews are only included in the top 5 for this list. Critics are traditionally harsh on horror movies and their comments weren't pretty beyond the very best of the movies. I picked the "taglines" for the rest of the flicks.

Enjoy the list and remember: "You can't choose between life and death when we're dealing with what is in between."

Top 20 Horror Films of the 80s:

20. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986): Dennis Hooper, Caroline Williams. "After a decade of silence... The buzzz is back!"

19. C.H.U.D. (1984): Daniel Stern, John Heard. "You Won't Want To Know What It Means."

18. The Changeling (1980): George C. Scott, Jean Marsh. "Whatever you do...DON'T GO INTO THE ATTIC."

17. Hellraiser (1987): Andrew Robinson, Clare Higgins. "Demon to some. Angel to others."

16. The Evil Dead (1981): Bruce Campbell, Ellen Sandweiss. "The Ultimate Experience In Grueling Terror."

15. Fright Night (1985): Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale. "If you love being scared, it'll be the night of your life."

14. House on Sorority Row (1983): Kate McNeil, Eileen Davidson. "Sisters in life.  Sisters in death."

13. Re-Animator (1985): Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Abbott. "Herbert West Has A Very Good Head On His Shoulders... And Another One In A Dish On His Desk."

12. The Lost Boys (1987): Jason Patric, Corey Haim. "Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a vampire."

11. Dressed to Kill (1980): Michael Caine, Angie Dickinson. "Every Nightmare Has A Beginning ... This One Never Ends."

10. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984): Johnny Depp, Robert Englund. "A scream that wakes you up, might be your own."

9. The Believers (1987): Martin Sheen, Helen Shaver. "They exist. Fear them."

8. Return of the Living Dead (1985): Clu Gulager, James Karen. "They're back ... They're Hungry ... And they're NOT vegetarian."

7. Prince of Darkness (1987): Donald Pleasance, Jameson Parker. "It is evil. It is real. It is awakening."

6. Christine (1983): Keith Gordon, John Stockwell. "Hell hath no Fury...like Christine."

The top 5...

5. The Shining (1980): Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall. One critic said: "It is not just a great horror film; it is a psychological profile of how people wrestle with their unsavory pasts."

4. Night of the Creeps (1986): Jason Lively, Steve Marshall. One critic said: "Rarely is a horror comedy as much fun to watch as this movie is."

3. American Werewolf in London (1981): David Naughton, Jenny Agutter. One critic said: "It may be one of the best endings to any movie, ever."

2. The Thing (1982): Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley. One critic said: "If you don't repeatedly drop your jaw and gape at the screen in disbelief, you might need to lay off the PCP."

1. Poltergeist (1982): Craig T. Nelson, JoBeth Williams. One critic said: "This is the movie The Amityville Horror dreamed of being."

So there's the list. Feel free to share your darts and laurels.

Speaking of horror flicks...

Our Stuck in the 80s special Halloween podcast from last year is still online, featuring music and scenes from our favorite movies, along with the stories that made the day special for us back in the 80s. Click here to listen or click here to subscribe to the series for free on iTunes.

The hedonism of Simon Le Bon

I'm a Duran Duran nut, like most people who grew up in the early to mid 80s. But unlike the other lads, the Duranie I always wanted to be was Simon Le Bon.

He wasn't the babe magnet that John Taylor was. Wasn't the charming, intellectual Nick Rhodes. And he sure wasn't the antisocial, misfit of either Roger or Andy Taylor. Simon just wore wristbands, struck cool poses, sang his guts out ("Siiiiiiiiiiing, Blue Siiiiiiilver!"), gave interesting quotes to the media and generally didn't care all that much what people thought of him.

Plus, Simon didn't have to play an instrument. (Unless you count the tambourine as a real instrument, and unless you're in the Partridge Family, you don't.)

Simon turns 49 today. Here are a few favorite quotes from the birthday boy to enjoy, along with links to the full articles in which they appear.

On his role in the "View to a Kill" video: "It was the closest I was ever going to get to playing James Bond and I wasn't about to miss out on that opportunity, He had the works - the girls, the guns, the gadgets, the cars. He got to do everything. I used to read the Bond books as a kid, and I thought they were really sexy. I always wanted to be Bond." [Full interview]

On staying in shape: "I've got some very serious beauty tips. Don't run too much. You'll f--k your knees up. I go for nice long walks now, uphill. And one of these days, I'm going to get a dog. But I've got a very physical job, and I'd hate to have to go to the gym. That would be awful." [More]

On recording "Seven and the Ragged Tiger" in Australia: "Oh my God, that was hedonism. I succumbed to hedonism. My God, did we have a good time. Somebody came up to us once and said, 'I think you shagged all the girls in Sydney.' And we weren't even trying. It was so funny. We had some fantastic times." [More]

Most depressing songs of the 80s: Top 20

What better person to introduce the final 20 songs from the Most Depressing Songs of the 80s list than "Gary" from "Last American Virgin."

I'm going out on a limb here and proclaiming that Gary (played expertly by the much-underrated Lawrence Monoson) is the saddest movie character of the 80s. If you don't know why, then it's time to rent the movie again. (Even sadder that his signature tune ''Just Once" didn't make the top 20, but another song from the movie did.)

This list is for all the Gary's out there. (Click here to see Nos. 21-30, 31-40, 41-50)

MOST DEPRESSING SONGS OF THE 80s: The Top 20

20. With Or Without You (U2): "Sleight of hand and twist of fate, on a bed of nails she makes me wait." [Video]

19. Love on the Rocks (Neil Diamond): "First they say they want you, how they really need you. Suddenly you find you're out there, walking in a storm." [Video]

18. Throwing It All Away (Genesis): "Late at night when you call my name, the only sound you'll hear is the sound of your voice calling, calling after me." [Video]

17. Separate Lives (Phil Collins): "Some day I might find myself looking in your eyes. But for now, we’ll go on living separate lives." [Video]

16. The Bitterest Pill (The Jam): "I wish this grave would open up and swallow me alive." [Video]

15. Since You're Gone (The Cars): "You're so treacherous when it comes to tenderness." [Video]

14. Goodnight Saigon (Billy Joel): "And who was wrong? And who was right? It didn't matter in the thick of the fight." [Video]

13. Against All Odds (Phil Collins): "I wish i could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry." [Video]

12. Fairytale of New York (The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl): "Happy Christmas, your arse, I pray God it's our last." [Video]

11. Is This The World We Created? (Queen): "If there's a God up in the sky looking down, what can he think of what we've done?" [Live video]

10. Dear God (XTC): "If there's one thing I don't believe in... it's you." [Video]

9. Voices Carry (Til Tuesday): "He tells me tears are something to hide,  and something to fear." [Video]

8. Time After Time (Cyndi Lauper): "You said go slow. I fall behind. The second hand unwinds." [Video]

7. The River (Bruce Springsteen): "No wedding day smiles, no walk down the aisle. No flowers, no wedding dress." [Live video]

6. Mercy Street (Peter Gabriel): "Tugging at the darkness, word upon word." [Video]

5. No One Is To Blame (Howard Jones): "You can feel the punishment but you can't commit the sin." [Live video]

4. Blasphemous Rumors (Depeche Mode): "When I die I expect to find him laughing." [Live video]

3. Here Comes A Regular (The Replacements): "I used to live at home, now I stay at the house" [Listen]

2. Same Old Lang Syne (Dan Fogelberg): "We drank a toast to innocence. We drank a toast to now. And tried to reach beyond the emptiness. But neither one knew how." [Watch video]

1. Fast Car (Tracy Chapman): "We leave tonight or live and die this way." [Watch video]

Footloose, the movie ... again!

OK, Hollywood. Now you've gone too far. Footloose - The Musical, which of course is the stage version of the 1984 movie, is now becoming Footloose - The Movie (Based on the Musical). Ackkk! I think I'm getting dizzy. But wait! There's more!

Who's taking over for the role of Ren McCormack, made famous by Kevin Bacon? Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Zac Efron, of High School Musical fame! Is nothing holy anymore? (And by the way, am I the only person who thinks Efron looks like Rob Lowe during the 80s? Spooky.)

Of course, this isn't an entirely new concept. "Hairspray" and "The Producers" went through the exact same transition -- movie to Broadway musical to movie. Let's just hope they're not considering John Travolta to play the role of Rev. Shaw Moore (originally played by John Lithgow, who also pulled a Travolta and cross-dressed in World According to Garp.)

Kevin Bacon seems to keeping things in perspective. He recently told TV Guide that he's cool with everything. I've heard about it, and it's great" Bacon told their website. "But of course the truth is they're not really remaking the movie that I was in. They're remaking the Broadway musical."

(Something tells me Bacon is counting on some sort of financial payday buried deep down inside this mess. Maybe he's playing the role of book-burning Burlington Cranston!)

Most depressing songs of the 80s (#21-30)

Poor Duckie. He saw yesterday's list of Most Depressing Songs of the 80s, and was driven to a crying fit out in the rain because nothing from "Pretty in Pink" had made the list.

Cheer up, Duck man. Today's your big day.

(Click here to see Nos. 31-40 and 41-50)

TOP 50 DEPRESSING SONGS OF THE 80s: Nos. 21-30

30. How Soon Is Now? (The Smiths): "I am the son and heir of nothing in particular."

29. Who Wants To Live Forever? (Queen): "This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us."

28. Everytime You Go Away (Paul Young):  "I can feel your body move. It doesn't mean that much to me."

27. Hold On to the Nights (Richard Marx): "I wish that I could give you something more."

26. Luka (Suzanne Vega): "They only hit until you cry and after that you don't ask why."

25. Think Of Laura (Christopher Cross): "I think you're here, taking our tears away."

24. Purple Rain (Prince): "It's such a shame our friendship had to end."

23. The Way It Is (Bruce Hornsby): "As he catches the poor old lady's eyes, just for fun he says 'Get a job.' "

22. Please Please Let Me Get What I Want (The Smiths): "Lord knows, it would be the first time."

21. New York Minute (Don Henley): "Men get lost sometimes as years unfurl."

Sneak peak at the next 10: Just pour me a drink, and I'll tell you some lies.