Going sweet on Sixteen Candles

Rarely do you find a weekly magazine that panders to the 80s nation, but this week a small door in the space-time continuum opened. Entertainment Weekly has a dead-on fun piece comparing 80s classics "Pretty in Pink" with "Sixteen Candles." (Click here to read it.)

Writer Dalton Ross makes the argument -- and a damn fine one -- that "Sixteen Candles" is the superior teen flick.  And he doesn't just fling around a couple cute movie quotes and shut the door. Ross breaks down every angle in true Stuck in the 80s fashion. For example:

Farmer Ted (Anthony Michael Hall) vs. Duckie (Jon Cryer): Duckie is a sympathetic character, he writes, but "[Hall] is responsible for no less than a hundred classic moments," from charging to see panties, hijacking the prom queen to his mastery of making a martini.

Jake Ryan vs. Blane: Andrew McCarthy's Blane "has no backbone, dresses lame, and has an even lamer haircut." Meanwhile Jake Ryan (played by the sadly retired Michael Schoeffling) is everything a girl should want. "Even I have a bit of a man crush on the dude," Ross gushes.

Thompson Twins vs. OMD: Here, I think Ross goes too far, proclaiming "If You Were Here" by the Twins as the superior movie-ending music. Bah! "If You Leave" is one of the true classic tunes of the 80s movie soundtracks (easily tied for first with "Don't You Forget About Me" from Breakfast Club.)

But Ross's heart is in the right place. Now, if he'll just go on the record proclaiming "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" as the ultimate John Hughes movie, we're all set.

Movie madness Which was the better movie? Pretty in Pink (Come on, Duckie and OMD rule!) Sixteen Candles (Farmer Ted and Long Duk Dong make the difference ... "Oh, sexy girlfriend!")

Comments

[Laura]

Sixteen Candles without a doubt so many great quotes....

dong's been here two hours he already has somebody. I've lived here my whole life i'm like a disease.

I can't believe they forgot my f.cking birthday

[Marissa]

Andrew McCarthy always had a look of agonizing bowel distress in Pretty in Pink.
It's Sixteen Candles hands down.

[Bassnote]

Sixteen Candles, hands down.

I concede that "If You Leave" is a much better song than "If You Were Here".

[Dennis]

Pretty in Pink for me... though very difficult decision - if it comes to the soundtrack it is easily Pretty in Pink though...

[Brad]

Look, Sixteen Candles is a better movie running away. It's not even close.

But.

"If You Were Here?" Hold it right there. People associate those opening chords with the shot of Sam and Jake sitting on the dining room table trying to smooch without setting three miles of Sam's gauze dress on fire - aaaah, romantic. But when you listen to the whole song, well, I do not think it means what you think it does.

I have to go with "If You Leave" as both a better song, and one that connects better with the movie.

[specialk in Germany]

Sixteen Candles hands down for me! I quote some line from that movie at least once a week! OMD opened for Power Station and the song was brilliant live. We all thought that Blane was an idiot, Jake Ryan hands down for me! Love all of Long Duc Dong's lines... "sexy girlfriend!" and of course the whole "automobile..." conversation.

[malibu]

I can't believe that "If You Leave" is the favored song!! It doesn't even make SENSE since they changed the ending of P&P after prescreening--she was supposed to go with Duckie in the original.
"If you leave/don't look back/I'll be running the other way/. Um, she ran TO Blaine, the major appliance, at the end.
The Thompson Twins song in Sixteen Candles is far superior--it's got a great sensibility and fits the mood. And stands well on its own, too.

[Johnny B. Goode]

I can't believe the way this voting is going. "Pretty in Pink" should win, based on the strength of the Duck Man's lip synching alone.

To all you "Sixteen Candles" voters: "You've been replaced!"

[Sexy American Girlfriend]

Duckie's lip synching is about the only thing PIP has going for it. Well, that James Spader's slimey portrayal of Steff. ACK!

[Tom]

Sixteen Candles in a landslide. Just in terms of quotes alone, it wins hands down. Besides "We have $80 and a pair of girls underwear, we're safe as kittens!" Were else could you come across a line like that? " Farmer" Ted rules!

[Rick]

Oy gevalt! Think about this for one minute... I loved SIXTEEN CANDLES, didn't care for PRETTY IN PINK (Cryer I could take; McCarthy!??), but ask yourself this? Does anyone really care to know what became of either heroine?

No. No. Nuh-uh. No.

Ah, but Ferris Bueller. Is there anyone who liked or loved thgat movie who hasn't tried to imagine what became of him? Isn't that the true mark of a classic film? Okay, does that mean a sequel should be made? No, but you know my vote on that particular question:
http://blogs.tampabay.com/80s/2007/08/ferris-bueller-.html

So, Steve, how about a poll question about that? Which John Hughes film should have had a sequel instead of HOME ALONE? Or to put a point on it: If a good Ferris Bueller sequel were made, would you see it?

[Miguel]

Give me Sixteen Candles any day of the week. That Pretty in Pink ending?!
RIDICULOUS!!