The 'massacre' of the Duran Duran we loved

After listening to Duran Duran's new "Red Carpet Massacre" CD a couple times, I'm forced to make this observation: Now the lads from Birmingham know how KISS felt after making the ill-fated "Dynasty" album back in '79 -- inappropriate, out of place and shameful.

Producers Timbaland and Justin Timberlake have drowned our heroes in a deluge of house-mix techno-horror so thick with computerized beats that it's no wonder guitarist Andy Taylor went sprinting away from this project. (Drummer Roger Taylor should have done the same. You can't make him out on many of the 12 tracks.)

Times pop critic Sean Daly gave "Red Carpet Massacre" a B-minus in his review. My reliable and sexually gregarious podcast co-host admittedly hated the Timbaland influence but still calls it "one of their most interesting" albums, tagging the song "Tempted" as a tune that "would have been a hit back in '85). God, I hope not. (Click here to read his full review.)

Let's start the hating with "The Valley," the first tune on the disc. So evil to the core, the song should be jettisoned into deep space -- with only a nuclear explosion capable of freeing it from an eternal prison. (Just like General Zod and his cronies in Superman II ... or Gil Gerard in Buck Rogers, for that matter.)

It's certainly not the only painful track: the title track is beyond such poetic description, and "Nite Runner" sounds like a B-side from Arcadia or Power Station (which is the closest I can come to damning praise.) "Skin Divers" stinks of circa 1978 disco effects -- were they sampling "I Was Made For Lovin' You"? -- and mid-90s boy-band rap choruses. 

The bright moments? Maybe "Falling Down" and "Box Full O' Honey" will make it onto my iPod playlists. And if someone could strip the overproducing from "Tempted," it'd make for a great live song. And in all fairness, Simon Le Bon's voice -- when you can hear it over the robotic thumping -- is near perfect. (Simon, turn "She's Too Much" into an acoustic piece and you're sittin' in butter, my friend.)

I can understand DD's temptation to modernize their sound. But while they were busy surrendering their souls to today's peddlers of monotonous music, the rest of the industry went retro. Come on, guys! Bands like Scorpions, REO Speedwagon and Loverboy are putting out new discs that are true to their roots -- and they sound great.

Duran Duran, you should have done the same.

Comments

[Marissa]

Solution: Turn the bass all the way down, and crank up the treble.

Now, granted I only listened to the samples on iTunes, but "Tempted" and "Tricked Out" would be great on Dance, Dance Revolution :)

"Tricked Out" reminds me of a Danny Elfman wannabe.
For the record, I am incredibly tired of Timbaland and his 'aye aye' & electronic spoons. Just sayin'

[Sean Daly]

Calling out for "acoustic"? Damning "disco"? Did you totally forget what you loved about them in the first place? Would you have been better off without Nick Rhodes in the band?

Indeed, the first half of the album blows -- but I'll stick up for the second half.

The beauty of "Tempted" is that it's essentially a 5-minute battle with Father Time, as the boys ultimately prevail over modern injustice with a reverberating assault of take-that synths and victorious harmonies.

"Astronaut" sucked -- this isn't perfect by any means, but it's a helluva lot better.

[Spears]

"Modern injustice with a reverberating assault of take-that synths and victorious harmonies"???

What the heck is a "take-that" synth? Is that anything like an "up-yours" bass line?

This is why I should just stick to quoting movie lines 24-7.

[Marissa]

this is fun!

[Sean Daly]

In keeping with your "stuck" persona, you've chosen to rememeber Duran Duran as something different from what they really were. These guys were the pretty princes of overproduction. They showed little interest in nuance and subtlety.

The biggest problem here is that their definition of sonic excess is far more interesting than Timabaland's. And yet, they deferred to him to often.

[Spears]

I wouldn't say they were overproduced back in the old days. I could always hear every musician and instrument in their 80s records. They may have leaned on Nick a little more than Andy, but hey -- nothing wrong with that. It was the 80s after all.

(You want overproduced 80s music. That's Frankie Goes to Hollywood, god love them.)

On this new album, they leaned more on a Macintosh computer and a "D--k in a Box" jokester more than any instrument. That's not the 80s -- that's just crap.

[Marissa]

I bit the bullet and downloaded. I'm with Sean on this one. Sorry Steve :)

I'm off to dance around in the living room. Like anybody needs that visual!

[Greg Williams]

Hey...at least "911 is a joke" wasn't on the album...

[Young Andrew]

RCM amounts to a smart, talented band making the sound of desperation appealing to the historically-impaired ears of Generation iPod. I think I would prefer to hear the nearly-completed album Duran Duran scrapped in favor of this flimsy attempt to re-establish their relevance.

[Young Andrew]

As an addendum, Medazzaland is a much more successful example of DD's co-opting of the musical-style du jour. Electric Barbarella remains one of the band's most pleasurable of guilty pleasures. If you don't love Simon LeBon's heartfelt serenading of a plastic woman over cold, electro-disco, you probably use too little shampoo and too much patchouli.

[Miko]

You think the Scorpions and REO Speedwagon staying true to their roots is a good thing?

Surely the congenitally deaf shouldn't be allowed to review records.

[specialk in Germany]

Marissa I'm with you and think that enough is enough with Timbaland! Why did they think they needed him around?
I get now why Andy ran!
I cannot believe I'm going to say this but what a disappointment from the boys. I saw the first song video and was not impressed at all, downright disappointed.
I love my Duran Duran and they really let me down!

I agree with Steve that the Timberland crap is just that, crap. The few moments that DD shine through as themselves are the best on the album. I would not rank this among their best, but I am sure live they could make a lot of these tracks sound better.

[Bassnote]

That was me. Not on my regular computer today (at my mother-In-laws place).

Lighten up, guys! Sure it's not the Duran Duran we know and love. RCM is no Rio, but it's DURAN DURAN!
Bassnote, Timberland is a mighty fine outdoor-wear company. Why are you picking on them?
Timbaland, on the other hand... not so much.
For the record, I enjoy some of the tracks on RCM. I think it would have been, to borrow a word from Steve Spears', fantastiche without the interference of the Tims.

[Marissa]

ugh! that was me up there

[Bassnote]

Who cares how it's spelled, it still sucks.

[Marissa]

lol Hey now!

[Bassnote]

Just busting your chops Marissa ; )

I honestly like Falling Down, Box Full of Honey, She's Too Much, and Dirty Great Monster. The rest sounds like they were trying too hard to be relevant to a younger audience. To me, DD should be above pandering. I am just disappointed with them.

[Marissa]

One good chop deserves another.
:)

[Grunter69]

Rather than listen to RCM follow these instructions:

1. Purchase bottle of Jack Daniels
2. Drink entire contents in one sitting

Result - more pleasurable experience and the hangover will be less severe.

[Jenn]

I just discovered your blog..love it. Getting to Duran Duran, I'm so glad you share my pain! My very first concert was DD at Madison Square Garden. This year, on my 35th they played on Broadway and I thought it would be fun to re-live it, being that I was a die hard fan! NOT FUN! I was front row and couldn't care less. I was bored..THEY looked bored..and I was personally offended that they couldn't respect the loyal fans enough to reminisce and play some of the great songs that put them on the map. I'm all for artistic integrity, but come on. Nobody wants to sit through music they've never heard for an entire show, especially if it's not all that good! sigh. What happened to my boys?!