Tom Cruise as Hugh Hefner?
The word out of Hollywood is that Tom Cruise is at the top of the list to portray Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner in an upcoming bio-pic.
The Celebrity News Service quotes as insider as saying, "Tom knows of Hugh's colorful past and thinks he would be the perfect person to bring it to the big screen. He also thinks the role would be a challenge for him, and would remind people of his versatility as an actor. At the moment people are concentrating on his personal life, and his marriage to Katie - but he wants to remind them that he can act too."
This is shocking news. No, not that Tom wants to play Hefner. But that a "Celebrity News Service" actually exists.
Seriously though, is anyone really going to green-light Tom playing that role? If he does, I'll have to re-arrange the following list.
TOP FIVE MOST UNREALISTIC PERFORMANCES BY TOM CRUISE
5. Losin' It (1983): Jackie Earle Haley makes this a great movie. Cruise and Shelley Long transform it into an average one.
4. Legend (1985): If the Lord of Darkness wants to kill unicorns, Tom Cruise isn't the guy I'm sending in there to make things right.
3. The Firm (1993): You can dress him down and muss up his hair, but you still can't buy into Cruise as John Grisham's hero.
2. Far and Away (1992) and Days of Thunder (1990): Cruise and Nicole Kidman on screen together is pretty painful -- even without the fake Irish accents or NASCAR driving.
1. Mr. Katie Holmes: Happy first anniversary, Tom and Katie. Now will someone please step forward and tell us it's all a big practical joke.
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What Steve, no mention of Cocktail. But then again, any movie with "Starring Tom Cruise" in the blurb reeks of being UNREALISTIC. If he does play Hugh Hefner, you can guarantee that there will be plenty of scenes from around the pool at the mansion. That way, he may be out faked by the fake bosoms of the "models'
Posted by: Ian from Down Under | November 19, 2007 at 05:14 PM
I thought of putting Cocktail on the list, but he doesn't so much play a character in that movie as he just plays foil to Bryan Brown. All in all, not my LEAST favorite Cruise movie. (That'd be Mission Impossible 2)
Posted by: Spears | November 19, 2007 at 06:06 PM
Born On the Fourth Of July. Most painful movie watching experience ever. Cruise was terrible.
Posted by: Bassnote | November 19, 2007 at 06:58 PM
Uhm, how about Interview with a Vampire? I know it's not 80s, but I would have rather gouged myself in the jugular with a dagger than be put through the agony of watching that ever again. ARF!
Posted by: Marissa | November 19, 2007 at 07:41 PM
I can't stand to watch "Born on the Fourth of July," though at the time I liked it. That movie does NOT stand the test of time.
Now, back to watching "All The Right Moves." ... seriously.
Posted by: Spears | November 19, 2007 at 08:44 PM
Completely agree Marissa! I read those books, and I NEVER pictured Cruise as Lestat. I hope the casting director was tarred and feathered.
Posted by: Bassnote | November 19, 2007 at 08:53 PM
I was scarred by Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Aykroyd in Exit to Eden. After that, you could have cast Paul Reubens as Lestat and no further harm could be done.
Posted by: Spears | November 19, 2007 at 09:00 PM
Come on... Far and Away wasn't all that bad.
Posted by: Matt | November 19, 2007 at 09:10 PM
I know this isn't original, but this subject matter just caused me to throw up in my mouth...more than a little ARF!
Paul Rubens DID play a vampire, though. His death scene was priceless
Posted by: Marissa | November 19, 2007 at 10:08 PM
As you can tell I'm not a huge Cruise fan. Even in Risky Business I wish he'd keep sliding in his socks and impale himself on something. Also not an 80's movie, Vanilla Sky was crap.
Posted by: Ian from Down Under | November 19, 2007 at 11:54 PM
I hated Legend. I remember that movie was delayed a couple of years before it played here. Just not good.
Far and Away was so boring. And Days of Thunder was so unrealistic about stock car racing, it made me ill.
I actually liked Vampire. Much better than the overrated book.
Posted by: Eric S | November 20, 2007 at 01:27 AM
I can't sit through "Top Gun" as far as Cruise goes. If you need unrealistic there you go. As for Paul Reubens he had a great role as a vampire in "Buffy The Vampire Slayer". Not a bad flick for parody.
Posted by: Tom | November 20, 2007 at 03:14 AM
Although not part of the 80's Tom/Nicole cocktail, lets not forget about Eyes Wide Shut...Mine still are.
Posted by: Jason | November 20, 2007 at 07:14 AM
Pretty simple! Tom Cruise has never done a believable performance in all his career (except in Magnolia. He was actually surprising on that one). He always plays the same caracter,Tom Cruise!
Posted by: Miguel | November 21, 2007 at 11:48 AM
I've got to go with Marissa on the Paul Ruben's death scene in Buffy. Fantastic. I did a double take last night when I caught Paul on Pushing Daisies.
I just read that Tom Cruise is working with Ben Stiller on a Hardy Boys movies. There is just so much that is wrong with that idea I don't know where to begin.
Posted by: 80sfan | November 22, 2007 at 12:22 PM
I haven't seen a Cruise flick in years, but I fondly recall his work in the early, early years. He did that whole "tender-hearted naive dork" thing really well, especially in "Losin It." Shelley Long was practically throwing it at him, and Tom said no, let's grab some herbal tea and go for a walk. What a sweetie.
Posted by: theroux | November 22, 2007 at 04:30 PM