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December 31, 2007

When 2007 met 2008

It's that night again. New Year's Eve. A night that's overrated second only to senior prom -- or the first night of your first marriage. (Did both yours end in the dry heaves too?)

At least you probably don't have to rent a tux or buy a gown tonight. Although a limo or taxi will seem like money well spent after your earlier strategy of "If Steve can drink Wild Turkey, so can I" goes horribly awry.

There's only one 80s movie that I can think of that truly encompasses all the emotions of  New Year's Eve. Thankfully, it's the 1989 classic "When Harry Met Sally."

And because it's a romantic-comedy, the guys out there might tempted to rent to tonight to watch with their significant others. Don't do it! First, no female is going to be happy with a "TV date" on New Year's Eve. Second, well, I have a whole list, of course...

TOP 5 REASONS GUYS BETTER NOT TO WATCH "WHEN HARRY MET SALLY" WITH A FEMALE:

5. New York. A great city to watch in a movie. But now she'll want to know why you haven't taken her there for a shopping vacation yet. (Doesn't that question answer itself?)

4. High maintenance or low maintenance? Meg Ryan is high maintenance, and now you-know-who wants to know which one you think she is. (Hint: If she's asking this question in the first place, she's high maintenance. Otherwise, she wouldn't care.)

3. Harry's sense of humor. Billy Crystal scored easily one of the best comedic roles of the 80s. And laughing at half his lines -- "No, you pretty much want to nail them too" -- will have you ringing in the New Year on the sofa with a blanket and pillow.

2. The whole romantic comedy genre. This movie is a diamond in the rough. Enjoy it and then go back to watching "Last American Virgin" or "Victory." Show too much enjoyment and suddenly "Sleepless in Seattle" and "You Got Mail" are coming to a DVD player near you. Let's just not go there today.

1. Sex. The whole "Men can't be friends with women without wanting to have sex with them" line is a trap. The biggest bear-trap ever unleashed on the big screen. Never, ever tell a female if you agree with this or not. Instead, repeat after me: "It's just a movie, Honey. Now let's check the score of the game."

December 30, 2007

Live chat: Feeling sorta lizardy today

Laststarfighter Another Sunday of boring NFL games and hangover nursing (I feel like the gung-ho iguana from The Last Starfighter), so you know what that means: Live chat with the Stuck in the 80s gang.

We got started at 3pm eastern time on Saturday, and it looks like the die-hards finally called it quits about 11 a.m. after writing more than 600 comments. Wow.

Next time, I promise more advance notice on our chats. But keep your eyes open, because we'll do them often -- especially when it's time to debut a new podcast episode!

Getting sentimental about Night Ranger

Nightranger I've been doing a crash-course this week on Night Ranger and their 80s catalog. The band plays Clearwater's Ruth Eckerd Hall on Jan. 19 (with Dennis DeYoung), and if all goes according to plan, I'll get a chance to introduce them on stage.

Likewise, podcast co-host Sean Daly and I are going to interview NR's Jack Blades (coolest name for a musician -- ever) for a show that would air before the concert.

So I downloaded their greatest hits CD on iTunes. And of course, "Sister Christian" is there -- basking in all its overplayed glory. But would that tune even make my top 5 list of Night Ranger tunes? No, not even close.

TOP 5 NIGHT RANGER TUNES OF THE 80s:

5. Don't Tell Me You Love Me: "I love the way that you shoot to kill me."

4. Rock in America: "She's goin' out she's gonna party tonight. She's gonna shake and make it last all night."

3. Sing Me Away: "What do you see when you look in the mirror? I see a face from the past, it's so clear."

2. Sentimental Street: "Saw you dancing out at Madame Wong's Two. You did those same two steps that I taught you back in June."

1. When You Close Your Eyes: "Angel come closer to me. I need a soul to bleed on."

Just missed the cut: Sister Christian, Rumors in the Air, Four in the Morning, Secret of My Success.

You know, come to think of it, I can't get enough of "Secret of my Success." A real guilty-pleasure, thanks to the movie with Michael J. Fox. (His best work of the 80s? No way. But it's no "Light of Day" either.)

So am I missing out on some sublime Night Ranger tune I've left off my list. And what questions would you fire off to Jack Blades?

December 29, 2007

Share a birthday beer with Ted Danson

Teddanson Ted Danson, everyone's favorite barkeep, turns 60 years old today. (His hairpiece turns 25.)

It'd be super-easy to sing his "Cheers" praises. (Favorite rambling Sam Malone line: "To me, our relationship makes perfect sense. You want me to propose to you, I propose to you. You say no, I say fine, I never wanna see you again. You drive me nuts telling me you want me to propose again, I do, you turn me down. Next thing I know I'm in a court of law where I've got to propose to you or go to jail. It's the classic American love story.")

But let's try something more difficult: Pointing out the best movies Danson made in the 80s. (Crickets, crickets.)

Truth be told, our man Ted had a pretty decent career in the big screen, though even some of his die-hard fans have forgotten the titles. He's still cranking out the movies, with two in the bag already for 2008 ("The Human Contract" and "Mad Money.") But until we see those, try out today's top 5 list.

TOP 5 TEN DANSON MOVIES OF THE 80s:

5. A FINE MESS (1986): "She can't whistle while she works so she hums."

4. THREE MEN & A BABY (1987): "I'll bring you guys something back from Turkey. Maybe a drumstick."

3. CREEPSHOW (1982): "You can't shoot us dead, Richard ... because we're already dead!"

2. BODY HEAT (1981): "I've been living vicariously off of you for years. You shut up on me now, all I have is my wife."

1. COUSINS (1989): "Maria, would you dance with me?... Then, how about spending the rest of your life with me?"

Cousins I know, I know. "Cousins" is an odd pick for the top Danson movie. At times, it seems largely unwatchable, except for the parts with Lloyd Bridges and the wedding scene where the groom and pregnant bride are sharing their first dance -- to a U2 song. But it's also the only movie where you see much of Teddy. And anytime you get to sleep with Isabella Rossellini, well, that should count for something.

December 28, 2007

These shoulda been contenders

Tmbg While compiling our list of New Year's Eve songs, one thing struck me: Why weren't more of these songs bigger hits?

No, not Sean Daly and Stephanie Hayes' picks! They went for the no-brainer tunes (and I'm still amazed that some of you out there like "Kiss" by Prince. Detestable song. And totally not a dance tune, which is it's only redeeming quality.) But songs like "The Walls Came Down" by The Call. I guess that band wasn't MTV-ready like some of the bigger names of the decade.

So here's the idea. Let's build our own list: Songs that should have been bigger hits in the 80s.

Obviously, there are some small qualifications we should agree to. Like, the song HAS TO BE BE FROM THE 80s! Also, while it's OK to have been a marginal hit, obviously anything too high in the charts is a hit already. Just trust your instinct and start leaving comments with your picks. Here are some of mine.

STEVE'S LIST OF SHOULDA-BEEN 80s HITS:

"We Close Our Eyes" (Oingo Boingo): Not my favorite song from one of my favorite bands, but easily the most radio-friendly of the bunch. Listen. ("I looked death in the face last night. I saw him in a mirror. And he simply smiled. He told me not to worry. He told me just to take my time.")

"Don't Let's Start" or "She's An Angel" (They Might Be Giants): One poppy and one not-so-poppy pick from the two Johns, possible the most under-appreciated act of the 80s.

"Straight to Hell" (The Clash): One of the most perfect songs from the "Combat Rock" album. ("Lemme tell ya 'bout your blood, bamboo kid. It aint Coca-cola ... it's rice.") Overshadowed by "Rock the Casbah" and "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"

"Ghost Dancing" (Simple Minds): It charted only in the UK, and still well below other tunes on the "Once Upon a Time" album. Listen to a live version though. Brilliant. ("If these old city walls should crash, amid the rubble you'd find us breathing.")

"Bittersweet" or "Like Wow - Wipeout" (Hoodoo Gurus): Two great cuts from the damn-nearperfect "Mars Needs Guitars" album. If you don't own that disc from '85, you're letting the best of life pass you by. ("Tears so bittersweet fill my eyes whenever we meet.")

Share your list and tune back in soon for a compiled and ranked list as well as a podcast.

'Where'd you get that jacket?'

Nahan Ah, Stu Nahan. We loved you, even though I wonder how many fans out there know it was your voice they heard in our favorite movies.

Nahan died this week at 81 in his home in Los Angeles. The former minor-league hockey played turned sports broadcaster is best known to us for playing a TV commentator in every Rocky movie ("What ... is ... keeping ... Rocky ... up?!?") but also for similar roles in "Private Benjamin," "CHiPs," "Baywatch" and many more projects.

But alas, to me, he'll always be remembered for Jeff Spicoli's dream sequence in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High."

December 27, 2007

Some old songs for a new year

Better3 The burden of Christmas is over so it's time to concentrate on the bigger issues: Specifically, how to ruin another New Year's Eve.

We all can't stay home and watch "Better Off Dead" over and over again while drinking Southern Comfort slushies. Though one more year of that, and I break the existing world record for being a wuss. (Even "Lane Meyer" feels bad for me.)

Our latest Stuck in the 80s podcast is here to help. In it, we offer up our Ultimate New Year's Eve Playlist, including songs submitted by live callers. What song gets our nod for top pick to play come midnight? You'll have to download the show to find out. Or click here to subscribe to all our shows for free on iTunes.

(Are you even going to remember midnight? Or will be you cleaning up the mess left over after I drink all those rum-and-coke slammers?)

A little trivia for you: The countdown you hear at the start of the show is actually from New Year's Eve in 1984. Let no one say I don't go all-out on the details.

A special thanks to all those who called in during our "live podcast" to chat with us. I know a lot of people had a hard time getting through. Next time we'll try it on a weekend. You just need to help me get that lazy, hungover Sean Daly off the sofa and into the studio on his day off.

Other highlights from this week's show:

  • Guest co-host Stephanie Hayes joins the cast to help balance out the content -- and to defend her woeful performance in our recent blog battle over holiday songs.
  • New music and movie quote challenges.
  • No seriously sad stories from me. That's gotta be worth something.

Drop us a comment and let us know what you thought of the show.

December 26, 2007

'Ahhh, Thailand': The zen of Volunteers

Tomhanksvolunteers Tom Hanks is making the publicity rounds again, pimping his new movie "Charlie Wilson's War." (How can you hate a movie that takes place in the 80s?)

Still, I prefer "80s Tom" over his work these days. I need the younger smart-ass, firing away with the zingers and quips. I prefer co-stars like John Candy ("Splash") and Adrian Zmed ("Bachelor Party") to the horse-mouthed Julia Roberts and the creepy Philip Seymour Hoffman.

In fact, I'll go as far as to say one of Hank's lesser-thought-of films -- "Volunteers" -- is actually a real sweet slice of 80s pie. (My 80s podcast co-host Sean Daly -- who has certain Hanks-esque qualities --  disagrees about "Volunteers." Then again, he's a pinhead.)

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT 80s CULTURE, YOU CAN LEARN FROM "VOLUNTEERS":

"It's not that I can't help these people. It's just I don't want to."

"We must all do what we must do, for if we do not, then what we must do does not get done."

"Let's face it: you're afraid and you have a damn good reason to be. Albert Speer once said, 'Fear is victory's fuel!' Oh, you spend a few years with me, pal, and we are going to turn that fear into high octane."

"Germs make you sick. That is why we give medicine to help kill you."

"That's right, Lawrence Bournes III; rich American."

Crazy for Swayze: One-hit wonders in '87

Swayze The Stuck in the 80s podcast crew has recovered from its holiday coma and is ready to hit the studio again. The next subject we'll tackle: the one-hit wonders of 1987.

(Yes, that means we finally have to confront Patrick Swayze's crime against humanity -- "She's Like The Wind.")

But here's the bigger dilemma: The further we get into the 80s, the more unfamiliar I'm getting with some of these tunes. I feel a disturbance in the force here, as if the schlocky and hellish bubblegum pop of the 90s is reaching back in time and exerting unnecessary and unwanted influence on my beloved 80s music.

Here's a list of potential songs to choose from for this show:

  • Swing Out Sister -- "Breakout"
  • Wa Wa Nee -- "Sugar Free"
  • Patrick Swayze & Wendy Fraser -- "She's Like the Wind"
  • The System -- "Don't Disturb this Groove"
  • T'Pau -- "Heart and Soul"
  • Buster Poindexter -- "Hot, Hot, Hot"
  • Pseudo Echo -- "Funkytown"
  • Kane Gang -- "Motortown"
  • Living in a Box -- "Living in a Box"
  • Jon Astley -- "Jane's Getting Serious"
  • Bourgeois Tagg -- "I Don't Mind At All"
  • Club Nouveau -- "Lean on Me"
  • Company B -- "Fascinated"
  • Breakfast Club -- "Right on Track"
  • Jimmy Davis & Junction -- "Kick the Wall"
  • Hipsway -- "The Honeythief"

We'll pick about 7 or 8 songs to feature in the show. Anyone have any favorites? Better yet, anyone have a great story associated with one of the songs? If so, leave us a comment or fire away an e-mail for use in our Reader Mailbag segment.

December 25, 2007

'Bells were ringing out for Christmas Day'

A rare and brilliant 1988 St. Patrick's Day performance of "Fairytale of New York" by the Pogues, featuring the late, great Kirsty MacColl. The song reached No. 2 on the British charts back in '87.

Family and friends of MacColl, still upset of the handling of her death in Mexico in 2000, had told the media earlier this month that they hoped the song would finish the holiday season in the coveted "Christmas No. 1" spot in Britain as a way of honoring the singer.

Indeed, BBC reports that "Fairytale of New York" has finished on top of the charts this year (the fifth year in a row). Other 80s tunes in the top 5 include "Last Christmas" by Wham! at No. 3 and then both versions of "Do They Know It's Christmas?" by Band Aid 20 and Band Aid at 4 and 5.

In addition, Pogues frontman Shane MacGowan celebrates his 50th birthday today. He told the BBC his credits his lifestyle for surviving so long: "Smoking, drinking, partying -- that's why I've stayed alive as long as I have."

December 24, 2007

A very merry 80s Christmas poem

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the web
Not a 80s star was stirring -- their careers nearly dead.
The police reports were searched and looked at with care,
In hopes that Boy George or George Michael would be there.

The punk-rockers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While bruises from slam-dancing showed on their heads.
And mamma with her Stoli, and I with Bacardi,
Had just punished our livers with a long winter's party.

When on one of the blogs there arose such a clatter,
I awoke from my stupor to see what was the matter.
Away to the computer I flew like a flash,
Nearly stepping on last night's cigar and a bowl full of ash.

Past the photos of breasts, of celebrities with blow.
Taken by the paparazzi who stoop so very low.
When, what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
But rumors of a reunion, after so many years.

A bespectacled director, so full of the muse,
I knew in a moment it must be John Hughes.
More rapid than eagles his co-stars they came,
And he whistled, and berated, and called them by name!

"Now Molly! now, Rob Lowe! now, Judd and Ally!
On, Demi! On, Emilio! On Andrew McCarthy!
Quit your TV shows! Stop the Broadway!
It's back to Hollywood right away!"

And then, like an echo, I heard from afar
The infamous movie lines from those 80s stars.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Mr. Hughes came with a bound.

He was dressed in a trenchcoat, from his head to his foot,
His Chicago Cubs t-shirt tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of scripts he had flung on his back,
And he looked like an agent or celebrity hack.

His eyes -- how they glared! Face pale as a bone.
He must have read my old blog item on "Home Alone!"
His droll little mouth -- lips straight as a ruler,
Oh god, he knows of that sequel to "Ferris Bueller!"

A typewriter and blank pages he held tight in his hands,
An iPod blared only music from old New Wave bands.
He had a long face and no trace of a gut,
He's no Santa afterall, he's just in a rut!

He was surly and short, a right cranky old elf,
But I asked for an autograph, in spite of myself!
A rolling of his eyes and a dip of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had plenty to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Finishing a script, then calling me a jerk.
And laying his middle finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his limo, told his driver 'Find a pub!'
And away they all drove like the end of Breakfast Club.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas 80s fans, and to all a good-night!"

December 23, 2007

Favorite podcast of 2007?

80syearend Stuck in the 80s has one more show to produce (the "listener call-in" show) and then we can finally put the lid on 2007. And what a year it was.

Full of interviews, cool backstage live-blogging events, a tearful goodbye to co-host Cathy Wos, meeting some of our rock heroes in person, introducing John Waite on stage! Where do we go from here?

What we want to know from you -- the 80s nation -- is this: Which was your favorite Stuck in the 80s podcast from 2007? Here were some of ours:

The Huey Lewis interview: Not our best interview, but you had to love Sean Daly getting into a fight with Huey. "Dogs Playing Poker," Sean? Poor Huey. (Listen)

Stuck ... in the 70s:
After nearly a month off the air, we set the time machine a little too far back and landed squarely in the 1970s. I still laugh at the specialized opening for the show created by our master engineer and uber-fan David Peterkofsky. (Listen)

Kenny Loggins:
Who knew the guy -- Mr. Top Gun ... Sir Caddyshack ... the Pharaoh of Footloose ... would be so playful and sing for us? (Listen)

Brian Johnson interview: Our first conversation with a Rock N' Roll Hall of Famer, and he surpassed our expectations. Even if you're not an AC/DC fan, you had to enjoy Brian's sense of humor -- and his insults of U2. (Listen)

Canadian Music of the 80s:
It took the help of nearly every listener north of the border to pull off this podcast, featuring Canadian DJ Stu Jeffries and a dozen songs rarely heard outside the Great White North. (Listen)

One-Hit Wonders of 1986: For some reason, we got more e-mails about this episode than any other. People just dig the Blow Monkeys, I guess. (Listen)

Genesis and Invisible Touch: Who can forget my shame at telling the "Nummy Nummy" story of lost love. Some things are better left in the 80s. (Listen)

There are many others to choose from. So drop us a comment and tell us what you loved -- or hated -- about Stuck in the 80s in 2007. And we'll get to work on another year of time travel.

December 22, 2007

Might as well jump, Van Halens decide

Eddie_and_bertinelli So this is love? After seven years of separation, dozens of Jenny Craig commercials and a long vacation in rehab, the marriage of Eddie Van Halen and Valerie Bertinelli is finally and officially over, according to the Associated Press.

Bertinelli, The former "One Day At A Time" turned Hallmark Special star, played the "irreconcilable differences" card when she filed for divorce in December 2005. The couple had been married in 1981.

One interesting question remains: Who gets custody of their 16-year-old son, Wolfgang, who's currently touring with Dad and friends on the Van Halen reunion tour. That detail wasn't covered in the judgment released Thursday by the Los Angeles Supreme Court.

Click here to see a copy of the marriage dissolution. Or wait 'til February and read Bertinelli's tell-all book "Losing It: And Gaining My Life Back One Pound at a Time."

December 21, 2007

Jack Blades ... meet Dennis DeYoung

Nightrangerhome2_2 Break out your parochial school outfits, because the guys behind "Sister Christian" are on their way to Tampa Bay. And they're bringing a friend -- we hope -- from the 80s with them.

Night Ranger is playing Clearwater's Ruth Eckerd Hall on Jan. 19 in a rare duel bill with former Styx frontman Dennis DeYoung. Who's the headliner? Does it really matter? It's gonna be a night of great 80s music no matter who draws the short straw that evening.

Dennis_deyoung Could there be some awkward moments backstage between DeYoung and Night Ranger's Jack Blades, who's gone on to record some great stuff with Styx guitarist (and DDY nemesis) Tommy Shaw? Hopefully I'll be backstage that night to find out in person. My guess: Dressing rooms on different floors of the building. (Put me in the room next to Dennis -- I've got a couple hundred Styx-related questions to ask him.)

But on stage, it should be a night to remember: The word from fans who've seen either act lately is that DDY and Night Ranger both still deliver killer stage shows.

Tickets are $49.50 and are available online at rutheckerdhall.com or via the box office at (727) 791-7400.

Have a very Perry Christmas

And people wonder why we love the 80s so much:

The ultimate 80s "Vacation" movie is...

Lampoonsvacation Ah yes, the Friday before Christmas is upon us. Time for offices around many parts of the world to start emptying and people to scatter out of town for a much-needed vacation. (I figure anyone above the rank of bird colonel will have mentally vacated by noon Thursday.)

But not at Stuck in the 80s. We signed up for a full tour of duty -- even Christmas Day, when I'll be the only human sitting in a downtown building that morning. But don't cry for me: As always, I'll take refuge in some of my favorite "National Lampoon's Vacation" movies. But which one is truly superior? That's what we'll decide today.

THE ORIGINAL "NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION" (1983)
Vacation4_2 THE CAST: Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo and Randy Quaid -- the holy trio. But also Anthony Michael Hall as "Rusty," Christie Brinkley nearly naked and John Candy as as the security guard.
TRIVIA: Written by John Hughes, who based the story on his own family's trip to Disneyland as a child.
MEMORABLE LINE: "You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're a--holes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose."
VERDICT: Chevy Chase's best work? Or was it "Fletch"?

EUROPEAN VACATION (1985):
National_lampoons_european_vacation THE CAST: No "Farmer Ted" in this one. But appearances by Monty Python's Eric Idle and Moon Unit Zappa help. 
TRIVIA: The only installment not to feature Randy Quaid. Directed by Amy Heckerling ("Fast Times at Ridgemont High").
MEMORABLE LINE: "Oink oink, my good man!"
VERDICT: I had just returned from a trip to Europe so I thought it was funnier than probably 95 percent of everyone else in the theater.

CHRISTMAS VACATION (1989):
Christmasvacation THE CAST: Another new set of Griswold children (Johnny Galecki and Juliette Lewis). Brian Doyle-Murray returns (he appeared in the original as the campground owner). And Julia Louis-Dreyfus co-stars as the yuppie neighbor to the Griswolds.
TRIVIA: Spawned a little-known sequel -- "Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure" (direct to video in 2003).
MEMORABLE LINE: "Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"
VERDICT: Watching it is a holiday tradition, but is it the best of the bunch?

THE WINNER: All hail, Marty Moose! The original "Vacation" still reigns supreme.

December 20, 2007

Cool present: Free online TV shows

Chasemiamivice Santa Chase (aka Chase Squires) still loves the Stuck in the 80s crowd, so he's sharing a secret present with all of us: Free movies and TV programming on the Web.

According to Chase, who served so brilliantly as the Times TV critic and podcast guest host on the Miami Vice episode, NBC Universal and News Corp. are beta-testing a new service called Hulu.com, an online service that seems to have tons of TV shows and movies already available for viewing -- if you have password. (If you don't have one, it's too late, Chase says.)

But Chase discovered that if you type in www.hulu.com/embed/x (where x is replaced by a number from 2 to 1801), you'll magically get a TV show streaming into your Web browser.

"Doogie Howser" appears in the 100 range. For "Miami Vice," check 440-450. For the "A-Team," start looking around 250. If you're feeling more naughty than nice, hunt around and discover the location of other shows and movies.

Somewhere in there, according to Chase, is the entire movie "The Breakfast Club." Another website -- OPENHulu -- also has cataloged and embedded a lot of the shows already as well.

Don't forget to stop by Chase's blog and give thanks.

December 19, 2007

'Looks like it's a live podcast'

Cruisepodcast In honor of Thursday's "live" podcast featuring calls from our fans, I ask you this question: Is there any movie in the 80s that takes place more on the phone than 1983's "Risky Business?"

Not that I sit around, taking notes about which movies involve scenes with phones and which one's don't. Well, not until today. I mean, it's no "All the President's Men," but think about it.

  • Miles calls Jackie for Joel: "My daddy used to spank my bare bottom. Now he's gone. Will you take his place?"
  • Joel calls Lana for a visit: "Are you ready for me... Ralph?"
  • Joel's parents call him during the big party scene: "I don't remember giving permission for a party, Joel."
  • Joel and Guido on the phone: "You listen to me, buster. You, you a-hole. (A-hole?)"

By the way, it goes without saying, I hope, that there's no calling me or Stephanie an "a-hole" during our live chat tomorrow. Sean, on the other hand, is fair game, buster!

-- Go live with Stuck in the 80s. Noon to 1:30 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 20. (727) 892-2655. If you get a busy signal, keep trying. Have a song name to donate for our 80s New Year's Eve playlist.

'Show me how the piggies podcast!'

Randy The Stuck in the 80s tribute to "A Christmas Story" is finally online. But beware, this show is more naughty than nice.

I'd give it a firm PG-13 rating. Even "The Old Man," Mr. Parker, would blush at some of Sean Daly's ruthless trouser-based humor. The problem? No female co-hosts this week to yank our leashes.

Somewhere in the North Pole, Santa is scatching iPods and Blackberries off our lists and replacing them with lime-green patterned socks.

Click here to listen to the show. Or click here to download all our shows for free via iTunes. And drop us a comment with your opinion on the show. We're still waiting for winners on the "Name that 80s Tune" and "Name the Movie Clip" challenges.

In the meantime, here's the promised list, based on reader votes.

TOP 10 MEMORABLE LINES FROM "A CHRISTMAS STORY":

10. "In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan."

9. "Randy lay there like a slug.  It was his only defense."

8. "Show me how the piggies eat!!"

7. "Deck the halls with boughs of horry, ra ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra."

6. "Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man"

5. "Sons of b**ches! Bumpuses!"

4. "Oh FUUUUUUUUDGE!"

3. "He looks like a deranged Easter bunny."

2. "Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian."

1. "Not-a-finga!"

December 18, 2007

Chat with us next podcast!

Tomcruiseonphone Stuck in the 80s is throwing a New Year's Eve podcast -- and you're invited. This Thursday, Dec. 20, at noon eastern time, Sean Daly and I will open the podcast studio phone line and take your calls while we record our weekly show.

We'll be discussing our favorite 80s songs for New Year's Eve -- along with special guest-host Stephanie Hayes (who so brilliantly filled in for Sean on his blog while he was vacationing.) But we also want to hear your favorite New Year's Eve stories and the songs that go with it. No good stories? Then fire away with a trivia question and see if we live up to expectations.

So plan to give us a ring between noon and 1pm Eastern time on Thursday, Dec. 20. We only have one phone line in the studio, so if it's busy, keep trying. We'll try to squeeze in as many callers as possible. The studio number (which is sadly not toll free) is (727) 892-2655.

Build the ultimate 80s New Year's playlist

Newyears What do you have going on New Year's Eve this year? Whatever it is, it'll be better than what I did back in 1985.

A bunch of friends and I -- fresh from our first semester of college -- sat around the house, sipped Old Milwaukee and watched the date change on The Weather Channel. No kidding. We were glued to the TV, silent as it switched from Dec. 31, 1985 to Jan. 1, 1986.

Meanwhile, literally next door -- steps away, my ex-girlfriend was throwing a "party for two" with her new boyfriend (a "more mature" fellow if you believe what she says. Whatever.)

My goal for every New Year's Eve since that dreadful night: Throw or attend a party that will eventually wipe that awful memory from my 80s-saturated brain. So far, no luck. The pain lingers.

But this year, I have you -- the 80s nation -- to help. I want to build "The Ultimate New Year's Eve Playlist" for the annual get-together ... and maybe even for a special podcast. They don't need to be "themed" songs for New Year's Eve -- just really fun songs that get you in the mood to stay up all night.

I'll need your suggestions, but here are some that come to mind.

Same Old Lang Syne - Dan Fogelberg: Play this one very early, before everyone's so liquored up that depression sets in. Raise a glass and toast to the memory of the "leader of the band."

Rock Lobster - B-52: This song never fails to get people on their feet. I love any song with lyrics like "He was in a jam. S'in a giant clam!"

Harrysally I Could Write A Book - Harry Connick Jr.: A little hokey, I know, but it reminds me of the New Year's Eve scene in 1989's "When Harry Met Sally," the ultimate New Year's Eve movie of the 80s. (Maybe the only one.)

New Year's Day - U2: Truth be told, it's one of my least favorite U2 songs. I never understood having the video for the song with the band playing in the snow.

1999 - Prince: Oh yeah, a truly cliche song. Play this one very, very late. People will either love it, or they'll head home. Either way, mission accomplished!

What other songs are can't-lose for parties on New Year's Eve?

December 17, 2007

Dan Fogelberg: 1951-2007

Dan Fogelberg passed away Sunday, Dec. 16, of prostate cancer at his home in Maine. He was 56.

One of his many hits, "Same Old Lang Syne," which was dubbed the second-most sad song of the 80s on a previous Stuck in the 80s list, was actually inspired by a real-life encounter Fogelberg had in Peoria, Illinois. He bumped into an old girlfriend in a convenience store, and the song takes it from there, describing the meeting detail by detail.

His death was announced on his official website:

"Dan left us this morning at 6:00am. He fought a brave battle with cancer and died peacefully at home in Maine with his wife Jean at his side. His strength, dignity, and grace in the face of the daunting challenges of this disease were an inspiration to all who knew him."

December 16, 2007

Would you like to play a game?

16candlesIt's just the holiday season without a little toy talk. And no, not the kind that require two C batteries and an adult ID to buy.

First, click here to listen to our special "Toys and Games of the 80s" podcast from last December. (Don't blame me if you can't stop singing the Mon-chi-chi song afterward.) While you're enjoying the re-run, check out these 80s-oriented stocking stuffer ideas:

Sixteen Candles Talking Keychain: It's been featured here before, but I can't get enough of it. "Farmer Ted" rules. Plus, it has Long Duk Dong's "Ohhhh, sexy girlfriend!" on it. Price: $9.89. (There's also a Blues Brothers talking keychain on the same webpage. Click here for more info.

Acdcaction AC/DC action figures: Brian Johnson tipped us off to the existence of these during our fantastic interview with him. (Click here to listen.) I wonder if Angus would fit into my Millennium Falcon toy. For those about to rock, it'll cost about $30. Click here to view.

Rubik's Cube: Back in the early 80s, could anyone have foreseen we'd still be playing with these evil puzzles 25 years into the future? The Cube can be found at just about any retailer for $10. (Target has the special anniversary edition here.) But if you want to know all there is to know about the puzzle's history, visit its official website.

Merlin Merlin Electronic Puzzle: I can't believe these still exist -- and look pretty much exactly as they did when I owned one in the early 80s. My claim to fame? I could program Merlin to play the Olympic Anthem. For $12, I can do it again. Click to view.

Roller Skates: No, not in-line skates. That are for people young enough to still have balance. I'm talking old-school skates -- "quad skates" as they're called these days. My most treasured present of the 80s: A pair of Blue Devil speedskates. Click here to see what I'm talking about. Back then, they cost $99. These days? Pretty much the same!

Micro Machines: I never got the attraction -- they're just like regular toys ... only much, much smaller. Wouldn't much, much bigger be better? They still sell these, including a special Classic Star Wars set for about $25.

Gobots: Before the Transformers came the Gobots, with its own TV show and everything. What's the difference? Ummm, none really except that Gobots are no longer made. (Plus, Gobots is a better 80s name). Click to view.

Greatestamericanhero 80s TV Shows: They're all available on DVD now. From Dynasty to WKRP in Cincinnati to Greatest American Hero. (I'm still waiting for the DVD of "Double Trouble" to come out. Gotta love Jean Sagal and Liz Sagal as "Kate and Allison Foster.")

What toys from the 80s would you still buy today?

December 14, 2007

Blog battle: Best 80s holiday songs

Retro_christmas793734 Time to dust off ye ole holiday CDs in a seemingly fruitless attempt to find something tolerable for family gatherings. (And to listen to on your iPod at work while you co-workers are sharing low-cal cookie recipes a little too loudly.)

To make this year's list a little more fun, I have officially challenged Sean Daly's blogging baroness, Stephanie Hayes, to a blog battle.

To my advantage, I was slobber-knocked on egg nog and teetering on bar stools in the 80s while Stephanie (high school class of 2001!) was still eating strained carrots from her own high chair. Let's see if she has any tricks left up her Garanimals.

We each picked our top 5 holiday songs from the 80s -- and the worst holiday song from the decade. Check out her list and then ... "prepare for greatness, Lloyd."

TOP 5 HOLIDAY SONGS OF THE 80s:

Hollis 5. Christmas in Hollis - Run D.M.C.: The de facto holiday theme song of MTV during the 80s. "The rhymes you hear are the rhymes of Darryl's. But each and every year we bust Christmas carols." (Watch video)

4. 2000 Miles - The Pretenders: A more subtle Christmas song with a dreamy, spinning sound. Perfect for a long drive through snowy weather. "Outside under the purple sky, diamonds in the snow sparkle. Our hearts were singing ... It felt like Christmastime." (Live version)

Bob_doug 3. Twelve Days Of Christmas - Bob & Doug McKenzie: Where are Bob and Doug when they're needed most? Granted, it's a novelty/comedy song, but dare I say the best one of the 80s? ("Fiiiive golden toques!") Of course, back then I no idea what a "toque" was. Imagine my disappointment to learn it was only a hat. "Boy, that song was a beauty ... it moved me. Yah, it ranks up there with Stairway to Heaven!" (Listen)

2. Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses: The late great Patty Donahue led this Ohio-bred new wave act that was probably best known for "I Know What Boys Like" and the theme song to "Square Pegs." Their holiday tune weaves a clever story about a single woman so busy, she decides to sit out Christmas this year. But fate -- and holiday magic -- eventually restore her faith. "When what to my wondering eyes should appear?  In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year!" (Listen)

Band_aid 1. Do They Know It's Christmas - Band-Aid: Sure, it's got some painful lines in it ("So tonight thank god it's them instead of you!"). But look at the lineup of great English and Irish musicians that Bob Geldof pulled together (Sting, Duran Duran, Paul Young, U2, George Michael just to name a fraction.) And then tell me you don't get chills during the ending chorus when the bells start ringing. "Here's to you, raise a glass for everyone!" (Watch video)

And the worst song: There are so many to choose from. But the title goes to someone who sadly was elected into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this week. Madonna's "Santa Baby" (listen if you dare) is a criminal assault on every sense of my very being. Fans of Stuck in the 80s, who submitted their own horror stories on the subject this week, were nearly unanimous in their contempt:

  • "Hearing her straining to sound like a weird version of Betty Boop doesn't say Christmas to me." -- Matt in Denver
  • "Cloying, annoying, and only redeemed by the fact that it was recorded for the Very Special Christmas project and helped raise money for the Special Olympics." -- Cait
  • "If my radio had a neck, I would choke it every time that came on." -- Donnie

Alas, the venom must end and you can now vote: Who had the better Top 5 list?

December 13, 2007

Madonna in the Hall of Fame? Sadly true

Madonna_3 I can't bring myself to type the next couple of words: Madonna is being inducted in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

So is John Mellencamp -- and that's better news. (Though there's still a list of acts a mile long that deserve to be there before either of them. Can anyone say "Heart" for starters? KISS isn't even in there. What the hell??)

But Madonna, good lord why? She's not a rock act. She didn't influence rock. I'm not sure there's a single electric guitar or real drum set in any of her songs. Compare her music to Michael Jackson, a 2001 inductee, and Wacko Jacko sounds like Ted Nugent!

Aside from her fetish for wearing black leather and sleeping around, I'm not sure what qualifies her to be considered a "rock star."

Today's announcement only sours me to the entire Rock Hall of Fame experience. Last year, it was Van Halen mucking up the works, with Eddie in rehab and Diamond Dave sitting out the induction ceremony in protest. Only Michael Anthony and Sammie Hagar made an appearance on the band's behalf. Particularly ironic since they're the only two not represented in the current touring version of the band.

Days like this, I wish I hadn't stopped sniffing glue.

What's the WORST 80s holiday song?

Christmas80s_2 I've challenged Times pop music Sean Daly's blogging replicant Stephanie Hayes to a battle of wits this week: On Friday, we'll each unveil our own "Top 5 holidays songs of the 80s" list.

But we'll also reveal our opinion of the WORST holiday song of the 80s. So my question to my beloved 80s nation is this: What was your least favorite holiday song of the decade?

Here are some candidates:

  • Christmas Is The Time To Say 'I Love You' - Billy Squier
  • Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy - David Bowie & Bing Crosby
  • Jingle Bell Rock - Daryl Hall & John Oates
  • Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home) - U2
  • Christmas in Dixie - Alabama

Or maybe it's this little gem -- "Santa's Goin' to Kokomo." Click here to view the video. I can't be sure it's an 80s song. But it has the footprints of the 80s all over it.

Please, let me know if you can think of other dreadful tunes. I'll gladly use the best pick ... "giving you full credit, of course, Mr. Spicoli."

December 12, 2007

She still leads ... a glamorous life

Sheila Sheila E. turns 50 years old today! Seems like only 20 years ago, she was parading around with Prince in "Sign 'O' The Times." (Umm, well it was 20 years ago.)

Born "Sheila Escovedo," Sheila E. did indeed live the glamorous life in the 80s, not including her hit song of the same name. The drummer/percussionist played with Prince, Lionel Richie and Herbie Hancock -- among many, many others. She wrote and recorded with Prince, enjoyed her own solo career and led the house band on the truly dreadful talk show "The Magic Hour," starring Magic Johnson.

These days, Sheila is still out there performing. (Check her official website.) Her new band project C.O.E.D. (Chronicles of Every Diva) recently toured Europe this year. And she played several gigs again with Prince during his 2007 tour.

TOP 5 SHEILA E. SONGS FROM THE 80s:

5. Sister Fate: "I'm gonna stick around until this movie ends."

4. The Belle of St. Mark: "If he doesn't love me I think I'll probably die." 

3. Hold Me: "Would it be so wrong 2 want U by my side?"

2. A Love Bizarre: "It gets kinda rough in the back of our limousine."

1. The Glamorous Life: "Without love, it ain't much."

"Now I have a machine gun. Ho, ho, ho."

ScroogedThe holiday TV season is in full swing, so that means nightly reruns of the real classics. A little Rudolph, another helping of Frosty, a full portion of the Heat Miser and Snow Miser. ("Heeee's too much...")

It's also a great time to rerun my favorite list from last year: The 20 greatest holiday movies of the 80s. [Click here to see a list of our favorite holiday flicks from other decades.]

It wasn't easy to come up with a list of great holiday movies from our favorite decade. Once you get past the top 10, you're basically dealing with horror movies and remakes of the usual classics.

And some of the 20 aren't as holiday oriented as others. Few people would consider "Lethal Weapon" a Christmas movie, but yet the holiday plays a major role in the flick. Same goes for several other films in the top 10.

But we here at "Stuck  in the 80s" had to flexible and bend a little to fan feedback. So based on reader feedback, critic lists and a heck of a lot of poking around the Internet, we give you...

Top 20 holiday movies of the 80s:

20. A Christmas Carol
(1984): George C. Scott, David Warner. "Another sound from you... and you'll keep your Christmas by losing your situation."

Silentnightdeadleynight 19. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984): Lilyan Chauvin, Gilmer McCormick. "You see Santa Claus tonight you better run boy, you better run for ya life!"

18. One Magic Christmas (1985): Mary Steenburgen, Harry Dean Stanton. "Gideon can make it so Dad's not dead any more!"

17. You Better Watch Out (1980): Brandon Maggart, Jeffrey DeMunn. "But if you're bad, then your name goes in the Bad Boys and Girls Book, and then I'll bring you something... horrible. "

16. Don't Open 'Til Christmas (1984): Edmund Purdom, Alan Lake. Tagline: "T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring...they were all dead!"

15. The Night They Saved Christmas
(1984): Jaclyn Smith, Art Carney. "I'm going to tell you one more time. Sing anything you want. White Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. But no more Jingle Bells! "

Santaclausethemovie_538 14. Santa Claus - The Movie
(1985): Dudley Moore, John Lithgow. Tagline: "From the team who brought the three Superman blockbusters to the screen comes a story to stir the imagination - and warm the heart."

13. Babes in Toyland (1986): Drew Barrymore, Richard Mulligan. "He's got trolls! Hundreds of trolls, who ate all the cookies!"

12. A Claymation Christmas Celebration (1987): Tim Conner, Johnny Counterfit. "Let's wassail."    

11. A Very Brady Christmas (1988): Florence Henderson, Robert Reed. "Did you think there was a blanket fairy?"

Ernest_saves_christmas 10. Ernest Saves Christmas (1988): Jim Varney, Douglas Seale. "I am one with the Yuletide, know what I mean?"

9. Lethal Weapon (1987): Mel Gibson, Danny Glover. "Maybe we'll stay alive long enough for me to buy you a present."

8. Blackadder's Christmas Carol
(1988): Rowan Atkinson, Stephen Fry. "I trust Christmas brings to you its traditional mix of good food and violent stomach cramp."

7. Die Hard (1988): Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman. "Now I have a machine gun. Ho, ho, ho."

Better_off_dead 6. Better Off Dead (1985): John Cusack, Diane Franklin. "Ah, come on! It's Christmas Eve! I could be home right now, drinking this *monster* eggnog my brother makes with lighter fluid." (Listen to podcast)

5. Gremlins (1984): Hoyt Axton, Phoebe Cates. "Bright light. Bright light."

4. Trading Places
(1983): Dan Aykroyd, Eddie Murphy. "You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people."

3. A Christmas Vacation (1989): Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo. "When Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of a--holes this side of the nuthouse."

Christmasstory 2. A Christmas Story (1983): Darren McGavin, Peter Billingsley. "Next to me in the blackness lay my oiled blue steel beauty. The greatest Christmas gift I had ever received, or would ever receive. Gradually, I drifted off to sleep, pringing ducks on the wing and getting off spectacular hip shots."

1. Scrooged (1988): Bill Murray, Karen Allen. "I don't mind you shooting at me, Frank, but take it easy on the Bacardi."