Share a birthday beer with Ted Danson

Ted Danson, everyone's favorite barkeep, turns 60 years old today. (His hairpiece turns 25.)

It'd be super-easy to sing his "Cheers" praises. (Favorite rambling Sam Malone line: "To me, our relationship makes perfect sense. You want me to propose to you, I propose to you. You say no, I say fine, I never wanna see you again. You drive me nuts telling me you want me to propose again, I do, you turn me down. Next thing I know I'm in a court of law where I've got to propose to you or go to jail. It's the classic American love story.")

But let's try something more difficult: Pointing out the best movies Danson made in the 80s. (Crickets, crickets.)

Truth be told, our man Ted had a pretty decent career in the big screen, though even some of his die-hard fans have forgotten the titles. He's still cranking out the movies, with two in the bag already for 2008 ("The Human Contract" and "Mad Money.") But until we see those, try out today's top 5 list.

TOP 5 TEN DANSON MOVIES OF THE 80s:

5. A FINE MESS (1986): "She can't whistle while she works so she hums."

4. THREE MEN & A BABY (1987): "I'll bring you guys something back from Turkey. Maybe a drumstick."

3. CREEPSHOW (1982): "You can't shoot us dead, Richard ... because we're already dead!"

2. BODY HEAT (1981): "I've been living vicariously off of you for years. You shut up on me now, all I have is my wife."

1. COUSINS (1989): "Maria, would you dance with me?... Then, how about spending the rest of your life with me?"

I know, I know. "Cousins" is an odd pick for the top Danson movie. At times, it seems largely unwatchable, except for the parts with Lloyd Bridges and the wedding scene where the groom and pregnant bride are sharing their first dance -- to a U2 song. But it's also the only movie where you see much of Teddy. And anytime you get to sleep with Isabella Rossellini, well, that should count for something.

Comments

[Marissa]

Groovy, baby!

[Spears]

Hi Marissa -- we were testing out a chatroom on the blog earlier today. We'll make it live again later today.

[Marissa]

Hey! What gives? I see a comment made by Carla for a post titled "Try this for a Chatroom," but the post isn't there. Is someone toying with me?

[Carla]

New Years Eve!! I'm in! Just me, my gin-n-tonic and you guys of course!

[Bassnote]

New Years Eve works for me.

[Marissa]

I'm game for New YEar's Eve since I never go out (and I work on New Year's Day). Obviously, I want to be part of this Chat-time blitz!

[Spears]

If everyone's up for a scheduled chat soontime soon, start shooting out ideas for day and time.

New Year's Eve perhaps? After midnight?

New Year's Day afternoon?

Sunday (today) during the NFL games?

[Marissa]

Somebody else bring the booze! Sean has to bring the party playlist we compiled last night.

[Carla]

Party at Marissa's??

[Marissa]

Wow! I missed a lot while I was grinding away at work. Damn you all for having fun without me!
But hey! I bought $100. worth of Hickory Farms Sausages and Cheese for the low, low price of $25. while I was on break. I bet none of you can say you did that today!

Damn 80's Nation, get a friggin life. Having a damn chat session on a Saturday Afternoon! For the love of god.......Let me put my two cents in (baby is asleep and mom is out with the kiddos): Purple Rain, great song track. Actually, in my opinion, it is one of the 80's best movies. The wife and I saw it a night or two ago on VHI Classics. Prince does one hell of an acting job. His music was great (is?). As for ONJ! When I was on leave from Iraq in 2004, I begged my wife to go see ONJ in Tahoe. ONJ put on a great show. In my top 10, maybe 5. And Xanadu, what a cheesy, silly, movie. I OWN it and love it! Now we are here in Xanadu!! Xanadu your neon will shine!!!
Lastly, Cheers, my mom thought Ted was a hunk. It is something about Mexican women liking tall Anglos with the Eddie Munsterish hair.

[Carla]

So That's it!!!! Thanks Al!

[Al]

Here's a reeeeeal long one by Cliff:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

[Spears]

The one when the chefs and staff from Melville's comes downstairs to join in?

Very classic scene. Or "fantastiche!" as I used to say.

[Al]

Here's some classic quotes:

Sam: What's new, Normie?
Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer.

NORM!

And of course the time when Norm walks in and a newcomer says Norm! after the fact...
Norm: Not now, you idiot!

[Al]

Even more classic is the Cheers Gang clapping "We Will Rock You" at the bar.

They used to use that at the Vancouver Canucks hockey games, before an opening face-off. Can't find it on Youtube.

[Spears]

I can't imagine trying to put together the ultimate list of Norm lines.

Luckily, someone else did it for me:

http://www.veinotte.com/norm.html

[jane]

Favorite Norm line:

"What's up, Mr. Peterson?"

"It's a dog-eat-dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."

[Carla]

I missed Coach when he passed away... he was great!

[Spears]

Favorite Norm line, when Woody asks if he wants a lime in his beer: "The only thing I want to see floating in beer is my liver."

[Carla]

Funniest line in Cheers with Ted Danson... someone (I can't remember who) asks him if he smokes after sex... his reply "I don't know, I've never looked"!

[Spears]

Of course, the funniest non-Danson line about Danson comes in Doc Hollywood when Bridget Fonda asks if that's star she sees in the restaurant.

"No," replies Woody Harrelson. "That's Ted Danson."

I believe I bought the Batman soundtrack before seeing the movie and probably Hard to Hold.

Danson has been given much praise for his role this year on Damages and is nominated for a Golden Globe this year. I do believe it has been picked up for a second season, if the writers' strike ever ends.

[Spears]

Ahh yes, Kirstie Alley as the Vulcan in Star Trek 2 - The Wrath of Khan - absolutely classic.

I'd do the Kobayashi Maru with her anytime.

[Al]

Love the Danson.....he was in a TV movie last year playing a teacher that teaches a black school to play chess and succeed, it was alright.

The interaction between him and Coach on "Cheers" was simply classic. Easily the best pilot episode I had seen in years. "Gotta beer, Chief?" That opening scene between Sam and the kid is great, and up until when Diane left, I was a fan of the show.

Then, just like a rock band that doesn't know when to quit (Eg. U2 with those horrible pieces of garbage, Pop & Zooropa), Cheers eventually became a bloated shell. Me likely the Vulcan Kristie Alley, not the bartending version.

Still, respect, as the kids say, for Mr. Danson.

[Carla]

Steve... talking to a friend of mine.. their suggestion was "Breakin"? Said the soundtrack was great, but the movie was bad. I have no clue if it's even an 80's movie. But they wanted me to post it.

[Spears]

Trying to think of other really bad movies with great soundtracks. Wow, that'd be a helluva list to compile.

[Spears]

I think that the Pretty in Pink soundtrack and its greatness clouds the overall perception the movie, which isn't nearly as good as we remember it.

But I still watch it every time.

[jane]

LOVED the Pretty in Pink soundtrack -- and yes, I do believe I bought it before seeing the movie.

I thought I was all that and a bag of chips, listening to that while reading "Bright Lights, Big City."

And I don't think I've seen "Against All Odds" all the way through. Which is fine by me.

[Carla]

I knew Xanadu was up there. I loved it though.. skating, good music and ONJ, what more could you want.

[Spears]

Actually, I blogged that "Gymkata" was the worst ever movie of the 80s. I think Xanadu was in the top 20 though.

[Carla]

Speaking of ONJ, Steve, what were the thoughts were going through your head after a bottle of Evan Williams, and Olivia was dancing across the screen in those pants that had to be sewn on?

[Carla]

You or Sean have gone on record as saying that Xanadu was the worst movie ever from the 80's. I liked it, but was really into ONJ at the time it came out. The soundtrack was excellent... ELO at their finest!

[Carla]

Bassnote.. I bought Batman, but after the movie came out.

[Spears]

Now which movie takes the title for "Great Soundtrack But Lousy Movie"? I'd say "Against All Odds" is pretty chose to the top of that list.

[Bassnote]

I also got 'Against All Odds' before I ever saw the movie. In fact I don't think I saw the movie until a year later.

[Bassnote]

I bought 'To Live And Die In L.A.' before I saw the movie. I think I also got 'Purple Rain', 'Pretty In Pink', and 'Batman' (the Danny Elfman soundtrack).

[Spears]

Hmmm, I probably bought Grease ahead of time.

I'll confess that my parents bought "Can't Stop the Music" before seeing the movie. (And they STILL saw the movie?)

[Carla]

Yeah, Grease and Xanadu are two that come mind.

[Spears]

Anyone ever buy an 80s soundtrack BEFORE the movie actually came out? I can think of twice I've done in the 80s: Purple Rain and Pretty in Pink.

[Carla]

Danson fan... yep I didn't think it was a good soundtrack at all. Other than the U2 song, the only other song I really liked on it was the "Theme Song" and like I said, they didn't put that on the actual soundtrack!

[Spears]

The most recent photos I've seen of Danson are beyond creepy. Sorta Frankenstein meets Merv Griffin.

[Sherrie]

Smart move, avoiding the smacktalking of librarians. We can be fierce when provoked! :)

I've always been a little creeped out by Ted Danson, for some reason. That said, I did really like him in Three Men and a Baby.

[Danson Fan]

The soundtrack to that movie is actually kind of lame (courtesy of IMDB.com):

# "THE BRADY BUNCH"
Written by Sherwood Schwartz and Frank De Vol

# "THE BUNNY HOP"
Written by Ray Anthony and Leonard Ouletti

# "GUANTANAMERA"
Written by Jose Marti, Pete Seeger and Hector Angelo
Performed by Jean Marc Dompierre Orchestra
Courtesy of Arthur Young Enterprises, Inc. (Canada)

# "HAPPY DAYS"
Written by Charles Fox and Norman Gimbel
Heavy Metal Version Performed by Kirk Thather, David E. Russo (as David Russo), Joan E. Jones and Duane Clark

# "I LOVE YOU FOR TODAY"
Written by Angelo Badalamenti
Translated and Performed by Pearl Huang

# "ISN'T IT ROMANTIC"
Written by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart

# "THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD"
Written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney

# "LOVE MAN"
Written and Performed by Otis Redding
Courtesy of Atlantic Recording Corporation
By Arrangement with Warner Special Products

# "SPEAK SOFTLY LOVE"
Written by Nino Rota and Larry Kusik

# "TANGERINE"
Written by Johnny Mercer and Victor Schertinger

# "A TIME FOR US"
Written by Nino Rota, Larry Kusik and Eddie Snyder

# "TIME TO DANCE THE BAMBA"
Lyrics by Luis Valentino

# "WITH OR WITHOUT YOU"

[Spears]

80sfan -- I don't think I've ever heard of "Damages" ... much less seen it. That's bizarre. Glenn Close too? Did it do well in the ratings?

[Spears]

There's actually a soundtrack for Cousins?!? I'm shocked.

I'll gladly send a Stuck in the 80s magnet to anyone who claims to own it.

[80sfan]

I highly recommended watching Ted in the Fox drama Damages. He is fantastic playing sinister and Glenn Close is always worth watching. The first season DVD is scheduled to be released next month.

[Carla]

Well... on my itunes, I have it listed "Love Theme from Cousins", by Angelo Badalamenti. It's been so long, I can't remember where I found it, because I don't think it's on the soundtrack.

[Carla]

Hang on... I have to open Itunes to find it.

[Spears]

What is the theme song for Cousins?