B-52s keep the party going

Booty-bots! Jelly-bones! Spandex-spiral vortex! Making space love in zero gravity!

Ah yes, all that sexy talk means the B-52s must finally be back. Our favorite Athenians (sorry, REM) have a new album to reward their fans who have waited since 1992's "Good Stuff" for new danceable tracks.

The new disc -- "Funplex" -- sounds like it could easily be the soundtrack of your local swinger's club. I'm just theorizing, of course. But throughout the 11 tracks, you just get an overwhelming urge to strip down to just a wide smile and jump into a steaming mass of guilty lovin' -- with a dozen strangers all grooving and grinding to the same beat.

The band's sound has been modernized with touches of electro and saw-buzzing guitars, but it doesn't dampen or overpower the irresistible vocal give-and-take of Fred Schneider, Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson. The trio sound as fresh today as they did on "Rock Lobster" or "Planet Claire" in the late 70s.

It's hard to spot a radio-friendly or top 40 hit among the tunes, but "Pump," "Funplex" and "Keep This Party Going" are good downloads to start with. (You'll have to wait until March 24 to buy the whole album anyway.)

Want the full-power sex-attack? Try "Love in the Year 3000." Just queue it up, lay back and enjoy. Clothing is optional.

Mailbag: Stuck in the 80s answers back

We get a ton of e-mail here at Stuck in the 80s -- and not all of it is from creditors! Here are some interesting questions we've received lately, along with our somewhat serious answers.

 

What was the name of the artist who did the album covers for Journey. The ones with the scarab beetles? -- Sean via e-mail.

That'd be Stanley Mouse, also known for his artwork on Grateful Dead posters.

My kids found "The Karate Kid" on TV today, and I forgot how much I love that movie!  Have you done a podcast on this yet? -- Becky from Windsor, Canada.

Actually, no, we haven't. Bizarre, right? I'm torn on Karate Kid. Parts of it are fantastic. The whole Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita stuff. But the love story between Macchio and Elizabeth Shue? Totally unfathomable. Still, worthy of a podcast for sure.

You've discussed Air Supply, Psuedo Echo and others.  You've met with Rick Springfield.  How about an 80's "Down Under" show? -- Burty from Gippsland, Australia.

We did a similar show about Canada in the 80s, and we've talked about doing the same for Australia (possibly combined with New Zealand). It just takes a TON of research. I say it's a done deal -- just don't expect me to say many nice things about Midnight Oil. Yeech!

Got a question? E-mail me at stuckinthe80s@tampabay.com.

Idol chat tonight: One more time

Hey gang, don't forget the American Idol chat that I'm guest-hosting again tonight on Sean Daly's Pop Life blog. The fun -- aww, who am I kidding? -- the drudgery begins at 8 p.m. Come keep me company.

Tonight's auditions are in Miami, which normally you'd think would be exciting to a lifelong Floridian like myself. However, I've long given up on Miami being part of Florida. It's more like the one Orlando theme park nobody wants to go to anymore. Yeah, just like Disney's Animal Kingdom!

Still hanging tough with New Kids on the Block

Hey gang, Stephanie Hayes here. Spears, to maintain his last miserable shred of dignity, asked me to take the blog reigns on this one - NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK! The dreamy Boston boy band ruled in the late 80s, pimped by Maurice Starr as a white answer to New Edition.

Yesterday, I shared a moment with my friend, Tamara. She's a pavement-pounding journalist by day, a closet NKOTB fan by night. Here's our electronic exchange. Only true NKOTB fans will appreciate it:

Tamara: NKOTB!!!!
Stephanie: HANGING TOUGH!
Tamara: step by step oh babyyyyyyy gonna get to you giiiiirrrrrlllllllll
Stephanie: you got the right stuff, baybee, love the way you turn me on
Tamara: please dont go giiiiiiiirl
Stephanie: jordan is so hot
Tamara: i heart jordan.

Two professional women reduced to sniveling fan girls. Sad. I had the Jordan Knight doll, which if I recall, came with ONE EARRING. I had trading cards. A hot pink plastic watch. My sophisticated neighbor, Ashley Kunaszewski, who was a year older and had a boyfriend, CARVED HER HALLOWEEN PUMPKIN with Jonathan Knight's initials. (Ashley – e-mail me!)

In the early 90s, the group became a punch line. The boys were later forced into desperation gigs on the "Surreal Life" and "Dancing with the Stars."

But fear not! There has been mucho chatter of a New Kids reunion. Danny Wood, the, um, unfortunate looking one, keeps posting cryptic things on MySpace like, "I can guarantee all the fans that if this reunion were to happen, they would hear about it first on www.NKOTB.com." If it pans out, Tamara and I are getting front row tickets.

I know many of you are bent over puking into the wastebasket now. I don't expect you to share my passion for boys with fade haircuts and high tops.

But here’s my question to you, 80s nation: Not counting New Kids, what 80s band reunion would you LEAST like to see?

[AP photo]

'Do I have to talk dirty to you?'

Stuck in the 80s co-host Sean Daly is a proud, new father today -- which makes me feel a little like Uncle Buck.

Truth be told, I hated "Uncle Buck" when I saw it in the theaters back in 1989. I was a graduating senior in college, and I'd just been turned down for a job for quite possibly the 50th time in two weeks. So the idea of the always-happy ending of a John Hughes movie wasn't what I needed. (Though certainly I could empathize with the jobless John Candy.)

Of course, nowadays I recognize it as perhaps the last great flick from the master filmmaker himself. And actually, I look forward to the day I can babysit Daly's older daughter, smoke cigars in his house and threaten the lives of her boyfriends. Ah, good times.

So take time out to read the official announcement of Sean's still-unnamed offspring, and enjoy today's top 5 list.

TOP FIVE MEMORABLE LINES FROM UNCLE BUCK:

5. "Ever hear of a ritual killing? Ah, heh heh heh heh heh."

4. "Marcie Dahlgren-Frost. Dahlgren is my maiden name, Frost is my married name. I'm single again, but I never bothered to remove the Frost. And I get compliments on the hyphen."

3. "How would you like to spend the next several nights wondering if your crazy, out-of-work, bum uncle will shave your head while you sleep?"

2. "Hey, Mom. Next time you take off in the middle of the night, why don't you hire a murderer to watch the house?"

1. "Do I have to talk dirty to you? Come on! Open up for daddy! I'm gonna shove a load into you! Here we go! Come on, it's nice and easy. Aaah! Come on, here we go! Ah! Take that! Take that!"

Even Freddy would knife this idea

The horror ... the horror: "Nightmare On Elm Street" is about to be reincarnated.

According to Variety.com, Platinum Dunes is working with New Line to reimagine the 1984 film by Wes Craven, which led to eight sequels and two TV movies. And they say creativity is dead in Hollywood.

Never heard of the Platinum Dunes production company? You probably will soon. They're also working on remakes of "Friday the 13th" and "The Birds" -- two other classics that deserve to be left alone.

Will actor Robert Englund return as the evil Freddy Krueger, the boiler room-friendly janitor who killed teenagers (including a young Johnny Depp) in their sleep? Doubful. Englund would be 60 by the time filming starts. At least he wouldn't need much in terms of makeup.

Caption contest: Stefanie Powers in Cuba

Here's the latest dispatch from our favorite overseas commander -- Jeff in Cuba:

I thought I'd share my brush with an early 80's TV star, "Jennifer Hart" herself, the lovely Stefanie Powers. She was in town for our big Christmas parade, and I got the chance to talk to her a little bit about wildlife conservation. That's part of my job down here and she's still very active in the wildlife foundation she set up with William Holden in Kenya.

The goofy smile on my face is not so much related to our success in propagating the endangered Cuban boa, as it is to how spastic I can be around celebrities. It's a good thing I don't have your jobs.

Anyway, she's a very classy and gracious lady (and looking pretty good one month past her 65th birthday!), and still has some killer Broadway-style pipes. She sang carols with the kids at the end of the parade and it was a very nice, old-school USO sort of moment.

Live chat: Ready for Idol chatter?

With Times pop music critic Sean Daly on family leave, I'm the point man for this week's American Idol blogging duties.

So join me at 8 p.m. tonight on his Pop Life blog for all the sugary goodness. We'll chat live. No alcohol required. Though clearly it would help.

What can I hope for in tonight's show -- aside from possibly my cable provider blacking out the show locally?

STEVE'S TOP 5 LIST OF COOL THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN WHILE HE'S HANDLING AMERICAN IDOL DUTIES:

5. All contestants forced to choose between singing a John Waite or Asia song.

4. Simon shaves his chest hair in order to look better in his white undershirts.

3. Randy draws the short straw and shows up drunk this week.

2. Paula instead forced to call everyone "Dog."

1. How about Carrie Fisher showing up in the slave girl bikini this time?

No mere mortal can resist the evil of MJ

Did you think you could throw a Super Bowl and NOT invite Michael Jackson? ("You close your eyes, and hope that this is just imagination.")

Wacko Jacko is rumored to be the star of a commercial airing during the game celebrating the 25th anniversary of his "Thriller" album, according to the New York Post. Jackson will appear in a Thriller-themed spot for SoBe Life Water, the beverage made by PepsiCo, which Jackson was so infamously pimping back in 1983 when his hair caught on fire.

But will his career catch back on fire? (Ouch.) The Post also says Jackson will appear on the Grammy Awards on Feb. 10. Meanwhile, his official website has been redesigned to focus on his landmark album.

TOP 5 MICHAEL JACKSON ONE-LINERS FOUND ON THE WEB:

• "If you play Thriller backwards, you can hear Michael confessing all the names of the boys he touched. That's why it is 14 minutes long."
• "It was reported the other day that Michael Jackson wants to be one of the first civilians to travel into space. A spokesperson for NASA said, 'We're fine with the idea but the only problem is Jackson insists on coming back'."
• "Michael decided to have a boy of his own because it's too expensive to rent them at $2-million a pop."
• "Michael Jackson had a boy. He also became a father!"
• "He told you he was 'Off the Wall', that he was a 'Thriller', that he was 'Bad' and that he was 'Dangerous'.  Next album will be called "Don't say I didn't warn you.' "

[AP photo]

'Potential nausea situation building here!'

In the late 80s, Sean Young had Hollywood by the ... well, you know. Great co-starring spots in "No Way Out" and "Cousins." Nice spicy roles in "Blade Runner" and "Wall Street."

And then, the 90s came, and suddenly she was crazier than Michael Jackson's plastic surgery adviser. Nuttier than Danny DeVito on a Limoncello bender. And basically, more desperate for an acting job than Clint Howard when his brother Ron is on vacation.

Latest example: Young went bizarro at the 2008 Director's Guild Awards over the weekend, according to Access Hollywood. Young interrupted speeches and taunted winners from her table before she was forcibly removed by security guards.

Somewhere today in Hollywood, Tom Cruise is muttering: "Thank Hubbard, she's not a Scientologist."

TOP 5 SEAN YOUNG ROLES OF THE 80s:

5. YOUNG DOCTORS IN LOVE (1982): Ah yes, "Dr. Stephanie Brody" almost single-handedly cured my fear of hospitals.

4. STRIPES (1981): She plays the M.P. who hooks up with Harold Ramis.

3. COUSINS (1989): Ten Danson's wife -- and object of lust at every wedding in the movie.

2. BLADE RUNNER (1982): The creepy and cold replicant Rachael. "I'm not in the business. I am the business."

1. NO WAY OUT (1987): Her character gets to sleep with both Kevin Costner and Gene Hackman. Maybe that's what sent her to the padded room. "We've got a potential nausea situation building here!"

[AP photo]