80s movies to sober you up

New Year's is long over. Time to empty the trash can of Absolut and Wild Turkey bottles. And Stuck in the 80s is here to help.

Oh no, I'm not going on the wagon. In fact, while you're reading this, I'm floating on a cruise ship somewhere in the Caribbean -- glass of something potent in hand -- taking a much needed vacation.

But these movies will help provide the inspiration that I myself cannot possibly supply.

MOVIES FROM THE 80s TO HELP SOBER YOU UP FOR 2008:

CLEAN AND SOBER (1988): Michael Keaton, Morgan Freeman. If this movie doesn't sober you up, stop reading now. The rest of my list won't help. "The best way to break old habits is to make new ones."

LESS THAN ZERO (1987): Andrew McCarthy, Jami Gertz. This could also be billed as the Robert Downey Jr. biography on the E Channel. "Do you know that you girls have televisions between your legs?"

BAR FLY (1987): Mickey Rourke, Faye Dunaway. Should be packaged with "Clean and Sober" as the box-set from hell. "Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead."

SCARFACE (1983): Al Pacino, Michell Pfeiffer. Lesson No. 1? Tony, just pay attention to the next rule. "Lesson number two: Don't get high on your own supply."

ARTHUR (1981): Dudley Moore, Liza Minnelli. Actually, I think this movie may be responsible for where I am today. And for my bad luck with potential father-in-laws. "You must've hated this moose."

COCKTAIL (1988): Tom Cruise, Elisabeth Shue. Bryan Brown kills himself with a very expensive bottle of booze, thus negating Couglin's Law. "Anything else is always something better."

MY FAVORITE YEAR (1982): Peter O'Toole, Mark Linn-Baker. Pretty much O'Toole playing himself. And who would blame him? "Stone, you can watch me or you can join me. One of them is more fun."

STRANGE BREW (1983): Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas. Too much beer and suddenly you're running around a castle in your pajamas and playing hockey with insane asylum inmates. Ah, who am I kidding? Sounds fun! "My brother and I used to say that drownin' in beer was like heaven, eh? Now he's not here, and I've got two soakers... this isn't heaven, this sucks."

Comments

[Spears]

Greetings from off the coast of Key West. It's easy to stay sober so far on this cruise, with each drink costing cost to $10. But what's the over/under on my odds of surviving Key West with liver intact?

Not good.

Just wanted to let you know I'm still keeping an eye on 80s-land.

[VineyardWoman]

Steve - all my best to you and your liver! And sleep soundly at night knowing you didn't buy your house because it was on Chardonnay Drive. (Cabernet wasn't an option.)

Favorite Arthur lines:
Grow up, Arthur.
That's easy for you to say...you don't have 50 pairs of short pants hanging in your closet!

[Jeff in Cuba]

Steve,

Go kick in the door to the bridge and tell the Captian to turn that barge south so you can come hang out with me!

I actually own the "Cocktail" soundtrack. I never really liked it, but it was a gift from a woman I was dating, and back in the 80's I'd listen to Latvian butter-churning chants if there was a woman attached.

[Walter Cox]

That's a nice sounding street, Vineyardwoman. The main drag in the town I spend my holidays is Whiskey Road.

[chase]

Steve, "Ahoy polloi... where did you come from, a scotch ad?"

and indeed,Clean and Sober, one classy flick, one of Keaton's best.

And I SWEAR I'm not making this up ... headline from today's Rocky Mountain News, so be careful!

"Tipsy Spears hospitalized" ...
Associated Press

Oh ... LOS ANGELES — The troubled life of Britney Spears added a new chapter when the intoxicated pop star was whisked away in an ambulance ... "

[Tom]

My wife used to live on a street named Beaujolais. Of course, it's in New Orleans where if you can walk you can drink. Home of the 151 daiquiri, and more insidious concoctions.
Great list, Steve. I especially like the Bob and Doug inclusion, it's beauty!

[Pete Bogs]

Strange Brew was great fun... I guess the sequel they talked about just a few years ago isn't going to happen...

[Christine]

Steve,

The only way you'd be worse off with staying sober is being on a cruise with my family... which I will be doing over the summer, ugh... after the holidays I find myself thinking, wtf??? My "free" summer vacation can only end badly.

Stay away from the fruity girly drinks.

[jane]

I'm filing this post under "Take to heart at a later date," as I'm floating somewhere off the coast of Mexico in route to Cozumel. With a bloody mary next to me.

"Arthur" is a little slide of goodness and delight --
Arthur: "I'm going to take a bath."
Hobson: "I'll alert the media."

I have used that retort more times than I can count.

[Marissa]

Steve!
So nice of you to join us. Even if only for a brief moment. Enjoy your well deserved vacation.

It's been so long since I've seen any of the movies listed. However, a girl at work bought the Cocktail soundtrack in order to have "Don't Worry, Be Happy" to play during stressful times. That song doesn't put me in a good mood, but "Hippy, Hippy Shake" seems to be a remedy.

[Bassnote]

I remeber Clean And Sober to one of the most boring movies I have ever watched. I love Michael Keaton but this movie put me to sleep.

[Jake Grimme From Indiana]

Hey Steve

This is Jake Grimme from Indiana.Im new to your blog but not new to the podcast. I love stuck in the 80's even though i wasnt born in the 80's. It sucks im only 15 but everything i own has to do with the 80's all i listen to is the classic 80's music like Duran Duran Phil Collins Journey AC/DC Def Leppard You name it. But since im to young to drink i dont have any drinking story's to tell. But i have seen Strange Brew. I love this movie i laughed threw the entire thing. And I own Cocktail I wouldnt say this is the best Tom Cuise movie but it is very good. Risky Buisness was my favorite movie by Tom. Well i got to go keep up the great work on the show!

Jake

[Brad]

What, no "Bright Lights, Big City?"

[Bassnote]

Brad, good call! 'Bright Lights, Big City' should definitely have made the list.

[Brad]

Bassnote, that movie has the distinction of being the only movie I've ever walked out of. (Well, drove out of - yes, I saw it at a drive-in.)

I just got tired of watching Michael J. Fox spiral in. That and we were out of beer.

[chase]

Indeed, Bright Lights Big City, a pointless book and an even more pointless movie. Talk about dull and running out of steam.

[Ron]

My Favorite Year is a great movie, but my favorite movie on this list has to be Barfly. I love any movie that can portray drunks as realistically as Mickey & Faye did in this movie.

[Spears]

Hey Jake! Thanks for visiting the blog. As long as you're listening to 80s music, it doesn't matter how old you are.

... Now, on to "Bright Lights, Big City".... I've only seen it once, but I feel comfortable saying: I totally hated it. Thankfully, it's one of a handful of 80s movie that don't make the rounds on cable these days.

If there's any lesson to be learned from that movie, it's this: You can't count on every Michael J. Fox movie to be great. (Also known as "Steve's Light of Day Theory")

[Jake Grimme From Indiana]

Yeah i guess your right Oh and dont even get me started on 80's movies they are all i watch just this afternoon i went out and bought Fast Times at Ridgemont High. I loved this movie so much i had to get it and my mom loves it too even though i dont feel comfortable watching that with her for obvious reasons haha. Thanks again

Jake

[Al]

Cocktail, Strange Brew, excellent list.

Fun fact:

Christopher Cross won the Oscar for best song for "Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)"

[Jake Grimme From Indiana]

I was reading a little on Cocktail and i dont know if this is true correct me if im wrong please. But I was reading and they were saying that Tom Cruise didnt even like the idea for Cocktail and really didnt want to do it. If anybody here knows diffrent please tell me. Thank you

Jake