Love ... exciting and new
How many 80s cliches can I dig up about cruising? OK, how many AFTER you throw out the Love Boat? That's right -- none!
My vacation at sea continues today as our cruise ship turns west from Key West and heads toward Mexico. The lowdown on the Keys? Pretty much as I'd left them before: Quaint and full of beers with great beer.
However, after a nice seaweed wrap and massage from a Romanian cutie (not Romulan, Trek fans), I'm not sure I'm coming back at all. What did she look like? Think "Julie" from "Valley Girl" -- but with a sexy, behind-the-iron-curtain accent. And she totally feels the same way for me. I could tell by the way she was eyeing me as I filled in the gratuity line on the bill.
As for staying loyal to the 80s, rest assured I'm only drinking Long Island Ice Teas and have sworn off any trendy flavored martinis. Last night was "80s Power Hour" in the disco. Tonight is Karaoke Night. Suffice to say this boat will have seen enough and heard enough of "Stuck in the 80s Steve" by the time we dock.
I'll be back after my lobster tail and escargot dinner to see how the rest of 80s nation is doing.


Relive the music, movies and culture of the greatest decade ever with Times online editor Steve Spears. A teen during the decade, Steve is obsessed with everything from Duran Duran to Journey, John Hughes to John Cusack, and parachute pants to Reaganomics.
E-mail Steve Spears:






Steve, just how well wrapped were you in that massage?
Karaoke, eh? I can hear the strains of "Keep on Lovin' You" all the way here in Illinois.
Is escargots code for meatball sandwiches?
And how could anyone tire of Stuck in the 80s Steve? I guess we'll have to ask Ms. Romanian Cutie.
Posted by: Marissa | January 04, 2008 at 05:59 PM
Have a great time, Steve! Don't forget the free ice cream and cookies!! Personally, I think the towel animals that the cabin stewards leave on the beds at night are adorable!
Posted by: Spiky Sandy | January 04, 2008 at 06:59 PM
Steve, WHEN you get another massage go 80's on our Valley Girl beauty.......but this time feather your hair, flip up the collar on your izod/polo/LeTigre and don't forget the topsiders. If you are flaming, throw out anything Michael Jackson. All Euros love MJ. For the love of god do it for us 80's folk who will endure disc 1 of the X files season I tonight.
Posted by: Mike in Austin | January 04, 2008 at 07:03 PM
So, How many times have you heard "Hot, Hot, Hot"?
Posted by: Ray | January 04, 2008 at 07:09 PM
I'm totally jealous...Please have a drink for those of us "enjoying" 20 degree weather (I'm in NC)! Seriously, I hope you have a great time!
Posted by: Debra | January 04, 2008 at 08:13 PM
Steve, i hope you're having a great time. Rock out Video Killed The Radio star at karaoke for me.
Posted by: Bassnote | January 04, 2008 at 08:22 PM
You know, Romanian is a "Romance Language"...
Posted by: Jeff in Cuba | January 04, 2008 at 08:44 PM
Hey Steve
Jake Grimme again hope your having a great time on your trip. Sounds like your having a good time. Cant wait to hear the stories on the podcast have fun. Talk to you later
Jake
Posted by: Jake Grimme From Indiana | January 04, 2008 at 08:47 PM
Steve, Make sure you get the tape of you doing "True" karaoke style for our friend Mr Sean Q Daly. We know how much he loves that tune and you singing it, that much sweeter!
Posted by: Tom | January 04, 2008 at 09:17 PM
I think if Steve throws in a Sean's name while singing it would be great. The same way Steve Buschemi did in The Wedding Singer.
Posted by: Marissa | January 04, 2008 at 09:27 PM
Steve! Am literally just leaving Cozumel right now -- I'll wave as we cross paths somewhere in the gulf.
Posted by: jane | January 04, 2008 at 09:31 PM
Steve,
Two points to make here: 1) Did you see any gardens while you were in Key West? I understand at least one of them is quite spectacular. 2) If you were still conscious when the karaoke hour rolled around, you know you really only had one song to sing.
P.S. You did say "chancellor" not "counselor" that time...
Posted by: Johnny B. Goode | January 04, 2008 at 09:48 PM
Marissa, How cool would that be, mentioning Sean's name while doing the "hover" and "button dance", singing "True". Sean's dream come to life, or is that his nightmare?
Posted by: Tom | January 04, 2008 at 10:11 PM
Marissa & Tom are right...you MUST add that personal touch to "True."
On another note, just how much of you ARE your shipmates seeing???
Posted by: VineyardWoman | January 05, 2008 at 12:56 AM
Steve, I appreciate that you're still "Stuck" with us.
But dude, you're on vacation. Relax, enjoy, and we'll make sure the '80's love stays strong until you return to work.
No need to be The Terminator. We know you'll be back!
Posted by: Al | January 05, 2008 at 01:17 AM
Hey Steve, look around you. Do you see Cuba Gooding, Jr., Horatio Sanz, and Roger Moore? Ok, then that "Romanian cutie" is not what s/he seems. Just a word of warning. I'd hate for you to have to hear the lilting strains of Boy George singing "The Crying Game".
Have fun amigo
Posted by: Douglas Arthur | January 05, 2008 at 07:02 AM
Hey Gen. McArthur -- I've been "Boat Trip" ... actually it was on TV last week. Great, guilty fun.
To answer other questions....
The table next to us has a animated stuffed pirate doll that sings "Hot Hot Hot" every time you squeeze his "sword." I couldn't make this stuff up.
It was 70s night at Karaoke, so it was all ABBA, all the time. And for the record, I always change the lyrics. I try to be as obnoxious about it as possible. And there's always one group of people there who yell out "you're getting the words wrong!" -- as if I didn't know.
We're off the coast of Mexico now, having spent the night being battered sideways by 45 mph winds. Thankfully, I'm not hungover, because the weather would make it feel like New Year's Eve all over again.
Posted by: Spears | January 05, 2008 at 09:18 AM
Was there seriously a little pirate that sang hot hot hot? Wow thats crazy. Well hope your havin a good time Steve
Posted by: Jake Grimme From Indiana | January 05, 2008 at 09:33 AM
Johnnie B Good -- It seems that the gardens are bare this time of year -- and by that I mean they aren't bare, because it's too cold.
Posted by: Spears | January 05, 2008 at 03:18 PM
Steve...So how's the cruise going.. entered any Limbo contests yet?? Word of caution... the Rum may make you go lower.. but can you get back up??
Posted by: Carla | January 05, 2008 at 04:56 PM
The ship is rocking out of control tonight thanks to an awful crosswind. Seriously. It's all I can do to keep the ice in the glass with the whiskey. Both seem to disappear prematurely.
Posted by: Spears | January 06, 2008 at 12:35 AM
Bummer about the rocking boat... "if this boat's a-rockin' don't bother knockin!"
Posted by: Marissa | January 06, 2008 at 09:00 AM