Call Barry ... whenever you wanna grind
He may write the songs that make the whole world sing. But if Barry Manilow records the songs that makes the 80s nation sing, he should be dragged out onto "Electric Avenue," beaten "Time after Time" and then left for dead in the "Love Shack."
Manilow has already recorded best-of albums for hits from the '50s, '60s and '70s. And it seems an '80s collection is up next.
"We're beginning to put a list together of what I would try for the '80s," Manilow recently told the Cox News Service. "When I looked up the No. 1 songs, there were some really melodic songs, like (Wham!'s) 'Careless Whisper' or 'Time After Time' by Cyndi Lauper - that's a beautiful song - and I thought 'I could handle those.' "
Paul Anka recorded an album of '80s pop and rock classics in 2005, including tunes like "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor and "Jump" by Van Halen. Seemingly more tongue-in-cheek, the album surprisingly wasn't slammed by critics. I'm not sure Manilow should get the same courtesy.
FIVE 80s SINGS I'D PICK FOR MANILOW TO RECORD:
5. ROCK ME AMADEUS (Falco): He has the wig already. Just powder it up.
4. OUR LIPS ARE SEALED (The Go-Go's): It's all that botox, Barry!
3. FIGHT THE POWER (Public Enemy): Somewhere, Flavor Flav just screamed out in terror and was suddenly silenced.
2. MR. ROBOTO (Styx): "So if you see me singing strangely, don't be surprised!"
1. DARLING NIKKI (Prince): "Thank you for a funky time, Barry. Call me, whenever you wanna grind."
[AP photo]
Relive the music, movies and culture of the greatest decade ever with Times online editor Steve Spears. A teen during the decade, Steve is obsessed with everything from Duran Duran to Journey, John Hughes to John Cusack, and parachute pants to Reaganomics.
E-mail Steve Spears:
First of all, Barry's morphing into Madame (as in Wayland Flowers and...) is nearly complete:
http://www.puppet.org/museum/pix/78.jpg
My two cents:
"Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody" -- DLR
- for the Vegas crowd
"I'm No Angel" -- Gregg Allman
- to show Bar's edgy side
"Wonderin''" -- Neil Young & the Shocking Pinks
- it's got that rockibilly doo-wop thing going on
Posted by: jane | February 22, 2008 at 01:35 PM
He's got to do 'Material Girl' by Madonna, or even 'Like A Virgin'.
Posted by: Bassnote | February 22, 2008 at 02:05 PM
It's been 20+ years, so I guess a lot 80's music is due to slide over into the "standards" trough where Manilowian lounge singers feed.
But here's my advice to Barry: Don't record a song if you wouldn't be ready to recreate the associated video.
For example, Barry could easily pull off the black & white simplicity of the "Every Breath You Take" video, but unless his arthritic knees can handle a half-naked low crawl, "When Doves Cry" is off-limits.
Posted by: Jeff in Cuba | February 22, 2008 at 02:07 PM
This territory has been mined before with great aplomb by Pat Boone. Check out his In A Metal Mood: No More Mister Nice Guy album from 1997. His version of Enter Sandman is a howler, and for me the high light is Crazy Train. Do yourself a favor and seek this out. It will bring a smile to you face guaranteed.
Posted by: Douglas Arthur | February 22, 2008 at 02:26 PM
I hated this guy in the 80's. He's evil. EVIL !!! What's with today's "American Idol" Generation that thinks he's cool? ...... "I will kill him !!" (Bad 80's film reference-can you name it?!)
Posted by: Gary | February 22, 2008 at 02:59 PM
Gary, you may not be going this way but I immediately thought of Sting as Feyd-Rautha in David Lynch's adaptation of "Dune."
Posted by: Brad | February 22, 2008 at 04:16 PM
Well, i can assure everyone I will NOT be buying this album. Though, in all fairness, it could be the subject of a pretty funny podcast.
Posted by: Spears | February 22, 2008 at 04:17 PM
Album.... whats an album????
Posted by: Rich | February 22, 2008 at 04:26 PM
Albums rule! In fact, I'm buying a turntable soon. I'm going totally retro. If I could only grow my feathered 'do back.
Posted by: Spears | February 22, 2008 at 04:53 PM
Barry says: " 'Time After Time' by Cyndi Lauper - that's a beautiful song."
Stymie says: "Yes, it WAS ..." :-O
Posted by: Stymie | February 22, 2008 at 05:21 PM
Based on the tunes he selected for his other homage-to-decade-X albums, you can bet that most won't be favorites of Stuck in the 80s, but rather songs that were destined for Musak, like...
"Heart Light" -- Neil Diamond
"Endless Love" -- Diana Ross & Lionel Ritchie
"Waiting for a Girl Like You"
or
"I Wanna Know What Love Is" -- Foreigner
"Open Arms" -- Journey
"Do You Really Wanna Hurt Me" -- Culture Club
"Up Where We Belong" -- Joe Crocker & Jennifer Warnes
"On My Own" -- Patti LaBelle & Michael McDOnald
and last but not least:
"Queen of Hearts" -- Juice Newton
But it would come as no surprise to Sean Daly if the man who made the whole world sing covered Spandau Ballet's "True."
Makes you wanna "shoot that poison arrow through [his] hea-ar-art," doesn't it, Steve?
Posted by: Rick | February 22, 2008 at 05:45 PM
Personally, I think Barry looks like a Sea Monkey.
Rick -- bwahahahahahaha
Posted by: Marissa | February 22, 2008 at 06:55 PM
I can't even begin to tell you how WRONG you are for saying he could sing "Darlin Nikki"... makes me shiver... and not in a good way!!
Posted by: Carla | February 22, 2008 at 08:33 PM
Marissa, truth is that Barry looks exactly like my wife's
retired Aunt Nancy, right down to her frosted hair.
Posted by: Rick | February 22, 2008 at 08:43 PM
Scary! I'm sure she's a lovely woman -- inside.
Posted by: Marissa | February 22, 2008 at 08:48 PM
I think he looks an awful lot like Dr. Smith from the old Lost In Space show!
Posted by: Douglas Arthur | February 22, 2008 at 08:58 PM
HA! While I still stand by my Madame assertation, I can totally see the Dr. Smith resemblance.
"You bubble-headed booby! Do you realize what you've done?"
Posted by: jane | February 22, 2008 at 09:31 PM
Okay, kids. A side by side comparison of Dr. Smith and Barry Manilow. YOU be the judge.
http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m78/marissa65/movie%20and%20television%20stuff/SmithBarry.jpg
Posted by: Marissa | February 22, 2008 at 09:47 PM
Hmmm...Barry's more made up than Dr. Smith and pulled a little tighter, but there is a bit of look-alike action there.
Posted by: jane | February 22, 2008 at 10:04 PM
Marissa, the Barry/Dr. Smith photos sent me into a fit of hysterical laughter. Just what I needed after Dj-ing for a bunch of surly Jr. High kids.
Posted by: Bassnote | February 23, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Ah, Bassnote, first let me say that I'm glad you weren't sick and managed to entertain those surly kids. My son is a in junior high. I just can't imagine dealing with a bunch of them.
I'm glad you got a giggle from it. Blame Douglas. He made the suggestion, I just slapped the photos together.
Posted by: Marissa | February 23, 2008 at 08:23 AM
thanks for defending my honor Marissa!
Posted by: Douglas Arthur | February 23, 2008 at 11:36 AM
Thanks, Marissa. I needed new wallpaper.
Posted by: Clark | February 23, 2008 at 06:16 PM
OK...Putting On The Ritz too obvious?
How about Pour Some Sugar On Me?
Posted by: Kurt's Krap | February 24, 2008 at 08:49 AM