Love Stinks: Great anti-Valentine songs
Picking the most romantic songs of the 80s is child's play. But picking the most unromantic songs of the 80s? That's poetic.
Over the last few years, we've featured "Best Kisses of the 80s" and "Best Anti-Valentine Quotes from the 80s." And in 2007, we recorded an entire podcast about "Love Gone Bad." So it was only a matter of time until we got really serious about the living nightmare that is February 14.
So throw those roses in the garbage disposal, pour yourself a large glass of high-proof refreshment and fire up your iTunes. It's time to get nasty.
25
MOST UNROMANTIC SONGS OF THE 80s:
- Love Stinks (J. Geils Band)
- I Used To Love Her (Guns N' Roses)
- Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now (The Smiths)
- The Smile Has Left Your Eyes (Asia)
- Don't Tell Me You Love Me (Night Ranger)
- I Don't Care Anymore (Phil Collins)
- I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues (Elton John)
- You Give Love a Bad Name (Bon Jovi)
- Love Will Tear Us Apart (Joy Division)
- Same Old Lang Syne (Dan Fogelberg)
- I'm Not The One (The Cars)
- Answering Machine (The Replacements)
- Only the Lonely (The Motels)
- Separate Ways (Journey)
- Voices Carry ('Til Tuesday)
- Tainted Love (Soft Cell)
- Just Once (James Ingram)
- I Hate Myself For Loving You (Joan Jett)
- Against All Odds (Phil Collins)
- Love Kills (Joe Strummer)
- Don't Ask Why (The Replacements)
- Goodbye to You (Scandal)
- Separate Lives (Phil Collins and Marilyn Martin)
- No More Words (Berlin)
- Love Is A Battlefield (Pat Benatar)
OK, there's my list. Which songs am I forgetting?
Relive the music, movies and culture of the greatest decade ever with Times online editor Steve Spears. A teen during the decade, Steve is obsessed with everything from Duran Duran to Journey, John Hughes to John Cusack, and parachute pants to Reaganomics.
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You missed the most important one!
The Greg Kihn Band - The Breakup Song
Posted by: sparky | February 13, 2008 at 08:33 PM
Brilliant choices with "I Hate Myself for Loving You" -- that was my personal '80s anthem; both Replacements songs and Joy Division.
My very sad, time-tested two cents:
Been Around the World -- Lisa Stansfield
Breaking Us in Two -- Joe Jackson
Goodbye to You -- Scandal
Heart of the Matter -- Don Henley
I'll Set You Free -- The Bangles
Should've Known Better -- Richard Marx (I know he generally sucks, but this is a great broken heart song -- take it from someone who has had her heart broken a lot)
Thin Line Between Love & Hate -- The Pretenders
Posted by: jane | February 13, 2008 at 08:36 PM
Crap -- that's what I get for posting while scan-reading -- didn't see Mrs. McEnroe & Scandal on the Spears list.
Posted by: jane | February 13, 2008 at 08:47 PM
Brilliant list... my two 80s theme songs:
Voices Carry and I Hate Myself for Loving You
sad commentary on my youth
Posted by: specialk | February 13, 2008 at 09:12 PM
ha! Here's one that's painful: All Cried Out ~ Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
Posted by: Marissa | February 13, 2008 at 09:20 PM
I'll add Save It for Later by the English Beat, Tempted by Squeeze, and the only song brilliant enough to rhyme "cupid" with "stupid": Poison Arrow by ABC.
Posted by: Big Tex | February 13, 2008 at 09:21 PM
Don't go Away Mad (Just go Away) - Motley Crue
Posted by: sparky | February 13, 2008 at 09:29 PM
In just under the wire (released in '89):
"And So It Goes" by Billy Joel.
"And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose"
That one got played A LOT in the winter of '90 at Chez jane.
Posted by: jane | February 13, 2008 at 09:30 PM
I Don't Believe In Love, Queensryche
Posted by: Stormy | February 13, 2008 at 09:56 PM
Way To Go Baby - Michael Morales
Like The Way I Do - Melissa Etheridge
Queen Of The Broken Hearts - Loverboy
It's Over - Level 42
Time For Letting Go - Jude Cole
Love's A B```` - Quiet Riot
When Love Breaks Down - PreFab Sprout
Oldest Story In The World - The Plimsouls
Doesn't Anybody Stay Together Anymore - Phil Collins
Here Comes That Hurt - Peter Wolf
Don't Shed A Tear - Paul Carrack
Blue Monday - New Order
I'll Fall In Love Again - Sammy Hagar
Faded Flowers - Shriekback
Six Months in a Leaky Boat - Split Enz
Some Become Strangers - Stevie Nicks
Cold Shot - Stevie Ray Vaughan
Posted by: Bassnote | February 13, 2008 at 11:54 PM
Take The Long Way Home - Supertramp
Pale Shelter - Tears For Fears
What's Love Got To Do with It - Tina Turner
Weapons Of Love - The Truth
Second Chance - .38 Special
Posted by: Bassnote | February 14, 2008 at 12:07 AM
Alone Again Or - The Damned
At This Moment - Billy Vera
Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths
Posted by: Brad | February 14, 2008 at 12:22 AM
Talk to you Later, the Tubes... Perhaps more of a Valentines mistake but relevant none the less. Awesome list however
Posted by: Russ | February 14, 2008 at 12:54 AM
My favorite one Harden My Heart by Quarterflash.
Posted by: Lisette Moreno | February 14, 2008 at 09:05 AM
Two more:
My ultimate unrequited love song: "Alone" -- Heart
And in just under the wire (1989) "Losing My Mind" -- Liza Minnelli and the Pet Shop Boys. This is a very dance-esque version, but the lyrics tell the story.
Posted by: jane | February 14, 2008 at 09:18 AM
"The Bitterest Pill (I Ever Had To Swallow)" by The Jam.
Posted by: Karl | February 14, 2008 at 09:43 AM
Great one, Lisette. I should have remembered Quarterflash.
Posted by: Spears | February 14, 2008 at 09:49 AM
Elvis Costello: Love Went Mad & Everyday I Write The Book
Posted by: Jeff in Cuba | February 14, 2008 at 09:58 AM
A Million Miles Away--The Plimsouls
They had so many great ones!
Oh, and some great Smithereens tunes belong in there:
Blood and Roses
Behind the Wall of Sleep
Posted by: malibu | February 14, 2008 at 10:37 AM
Salt in My Tears - Martin Briley
and don't forget that stupid song "Tender Love" by Force MD
Posted by: Melissa | February 14, 2008 at 10:44 AM
Babe I'm Gonna Leave you- Led Zeppelin
" Babe Babe Baby I can never leave you I'm just jokin woman I have to ramble"
great stuff
Posted by: Ernie | February 14, 2008 at 10:48 AM
Gimmie 3 steps, mister!
Posted by: dionysis | February 14, 2008 at 11:08 AM
Blink 182 - DAMMIT
Posted by: bob | February 14, 2008 at 11:13 AM
nevermind missed that this is only 80s songs
Posted by: bob | February 14, 2008 at 11:14 AM
Kick The Wall - Jimmy Davis & Junction
Slipping Away - Dave Edmunds
Love Bites - Judas Priest
Love Kills - Freddy Mercury
Not from the 80s, but the ultimate unromantic song:
You're Breaking My Heart - Harry Nilsson
Posted by: Bassnote | February 14, 2008 at 11:52 AM
Loudon Wainwright III--Unhappy Anniversary
David Stoddard-Anniversary
John Prine-other side of town
Posted by: phil horvath | February 14, 2008 at 12:00 PM
If the phone doesn't ring, Its me - Jimmy Buffett
Posted by: Ron | February 14, 2008 at 12:33 PM
Best Friend's Girl - Cars
Train in Vain- The Clash (released in 79 charted in 80)
Change of Heart- Tom Petty
That ain't Love - REO Speedwagon
Posted by: DenverMatt | February 14, 2008 at 01:01 PM
How could I have forgotten "Salt in my Tears"? I'm totally depressed.
Here's a link to another anti-valentine day blog item:
http://www.namedevelopment.com/blog/archives/2008/02/antivalentines.html
Posted by: Spears | February 14, 2008 at 01:09 PM
I don't think REO played "That Ain't Love" during their recent show here in Tampa Bay, and that's a shame. It's one of my favorite songs to sing along to -- much to the dismay of anyone within three rows of me.
Posted by: Spears | February 14, 2008 at 01:14 PM
Lyle Lovett -- "She's No Lady, She's My Wife."
Posted by: RealityChuck | February 14, 2008 at 01:17 PM
How could I have forgotten 'Train In Vain'! I love that song!
Posted by: Bassnote | February 14, 2008 at 02:12 PM
I don't think I saw this one on anyone's list, but one of my favorite songs by The Motels is "Take the L"
Take the L out of Lover
And it's over
Posted by: Debra | February 14, 2008 at 05:06 PM
I'd add
Kayleigh- Marillion
Black Coffee in Bed- Squeeze
My Own Time- Asia
Posted by: Tom | February 14, 2008 at 09:43 PM
"I Miss You" - Klymaxx
"I'll Never Get Over You (Getting Over Me)" - Expose
I am sure there are more, but those two come to mind
Posted by: mushi | February 14, 2008 at 11:08 PM
What about -
"Hey Joe" - Jimi Hendrix
Posted by: Crimson Ghost | February 14, 2008 at 11:20 PM
Promises Promises - Naked Eyes
Take A Walk - Mr. Big
Taken In - Mike + The Mechanics
Overkill - Men At Work
Shut Up - Madness
Turn Your Back On Me - Kajagoogoo
You've Got Another Thing Comin' - Judas Priest
Say You're Wrong - Julian Lennon
You Know I'm Right - David Gilmour
Tears - John Waite
Good + Bad Times - INXS
Nothing Too Serious - Icehouse
Don't Want To Know If You're Lonely - Hüsker Dü
Never Talking To You Again - Hüsker Dü
Change Of Heart - Huey Lewis & The News
Whatever Happened To True Love - Huey Lewis & The News
What Is Love? - Howard Jones
Posted by: Bassnote | February 15, 2008 at 12:16 AM
Finally, a Joy Division reference....
Posted by: Elliot Garcia | February 15, 2008 at 01:36 AM
American Woman - The Guess Who
Posted by: latenite | February 15, 2008 at 06:07 AM
Kudos to Tom for picking another Asia song for the list -- albeit an obscure one. But I love that tune.
In fact, and I'm not even kidding about this, I have the vinyl edition of Asia Alpha on my desk right now (bought it last month for 25 cents at Banana Music here in St. Pete.) What an underrated album. I could listen to it just about every day.
Posted by: Spears | February 15, 2008 at 07:33 AM
Joe Lies (When He Cries) - Corey/Lili Taylor
Posted by: Tonianne | February 15, 2008 at 07:33 AM
Tonianee--brilliant pick!! :-)
Posted by: malibu | February 15, 2008 at 10:02 AM
Sorry--I tried to stop the post when I realized I put too many e's in Tonianne!
Also:
"That'll never be me, that'll never be me, that'll never be me NO NO NO. Never. Ever. Ever ever ever don't you even think it!"
Posted by: malibu | February 15, 2008 at 10:04 AM
Thanks for the kudos Steve. I think Alpha is a very personal album that most people don't get. Almost any song from it could be in this category. I still have the cassette with the bonus track "Daylight" and a framed poster of the album cover.
Posted by: Tom | February 15, 2008 at 01:22 PM
One More Minute - Wierd Al Yankovic
"I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue, than spend one more minute with you."
Posted by: Tonianne | February 15, 2008 at 03:34 PM
"Love Bites - Judas Priest"
DUDE...that's is Def Leppard not Judas Priest
Posted by: Jennd | February 15, 2008 at 04:35 PM
"Love Bites - Judas Priest"
DUDE...that is Def Leppard not Judas Priest
Posted by: Jennd | February 15, 2008 at 04:35 PM
Actually, Judas Priest did do a song called "Love Bites"...it's on the Defenders of the Faith album.
See the video at www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrvySS9Cizg
Posted by: Debra | February 15, 2008 at 05:22 PM
Don't forget
Nothing compares to you
Sinead O'Connor
Posted by: Tyler Gislason | February 15, 2008 at 10:13 PM
Oops - That was 1990!
Posted by: Tyler Gislason | February 15, 2008 at 10:21 PM
neil diamond hello love on the rocks, bruce springsteen two steps backand brilliant disguise
Posted by: Andrew Rodriguez | February 16, 2008 at 07:33 AM
every rose has a thorn poison
Posted by: Molly Rodriguez | February 16, 2008 at 07:36 AM
Love on the Rocks -- that should have made the list. Good addition.
Posted by: Spears | February 16, 2008 at 08:08 AM
Terrible Lie - NIN
Posted by: Dan | February 16, 2008 at 09:39 AM
I just found 'Love Junk' by 'The Pursuit Of Happiness' at a local used CD store. It has a great anti-romance song on it, the venomous, 'Killed By Love'.
Posted by: Bassnote | February 20, 2008 at 03:48 PM
"I'm Not In Love" by 10cc is probably the saddest sounding anti-love song I can think of
Posted by: nottooold | November 22, 2008 at 12:25 AM