Nice shirt, dude: Best and worst concert tees

Growing up as a young teen in the early 80s, I was totally addicted to buying and wearing concert jerseys. I wore them to school, to the rollerskating rink, to the mall -- I still remember getting weird looks from the tourists at Disney World when I wore the AC/DC shirt showing Angus Young's guitar exploding through his stomach to the theme park.

In most cases I hadn't even attended the concert, but that was of little concern. Stores at the mall sold the knock-off shirts for half the price. However, last night I was able to right a historic wrong and buy an authentic Van Halen shirt of my very own when the band played here in Tampa.

Trouble is, with the significance of the event clouding my judgment, I bought the sorriest shirt they had. Take a look at the photo of it. It looks like a shirt from Olivia Newton-John's "Xanadu" tour! Yes, those are twinkling stars surrounding a glowing Earth. With an orange and purple logo! And, more embarrassing, it's the shirt from last year's leg of the tour; the tour dates on the back don't even list Tampa! (Don't ask how much I paid.)

Still, I can't complain (too much). After all, over the years, I've purchased much worse shirts (the creepy one of a sweaty Hall & Oates staring at each other on their H2O tour comes to mind.) But in the glow of last night's show, I choose to emphasize the positive today.

TOP 3 MUST-OWN CONCERT T-SHIRTS:

3. ROLLING STONES: The classic lips and tongue version, which the band was smart enough to use tour after tour after tour. Almost good enough to make me forget "The Harlem Shuffle."

2. REO SPEEDWAGON: The classic winged logo t-shirt from the Hi-Infidelity tour in jersey form. Simple, elegant, one for the ages.

1. JOURNEY: Preferably the one from the Escape tour. I still own a replica of the shirt I bought at the Oct. 22, 1981 show at the Lakeland Civic Center.

TOP 3 SHIRTS I WISH I HADN'T BOUGHT:

3. STYX: The infamous Mr. Roboto tour, featuring the creepy robot face on the front of the shirt. A friend's prom date threw up on it during the after-party and I could never bring myself to wear it again without smelling the faint odor of french fries and mustard.

2. FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD: The shirt, featuring illustrations of nearly naked band members, almost got me beat up at the mall by members of my high school football team. (Save your energy, guys, you went 1-9 that season.)

1. PAUL McCARTNEY: I bought it from an unauthorized street vendor and put it on before going into the show at Tampa Stadium. When it rained two songs into Sir Paul's set, the shirt literally melted off my body, leaving me shirtless for the remainder of the show. Live and let die? You bet if I ever get my hands on that vendor again.

Comments

[Mike in Austin]

I too was "approached" by members of the football team for wearing concert tees and various other socially unacceptable 80's flair. Needless to say one fellow actually apologized to me a few years later at a bar in Juarez (he caught on to the 80's fads himself). As for favorite concert tees ever:
1. The Cure: Head on the Door
2. The Cure: Disintegration
3. Iron Maiden: Powerslave
4. Adam Ant: Friend or Foe
5. Depeche Mode: Violator

Shirts I WISH I had bought when I saw them:
The Fix (two times in the 80's)
Foreigner
The Romantics
Book of Love
Bronski Beat
Motley Crue (Shout at the Devil tour)
Terence Trent D'arby
The Cult

I call a do over.

[Al]

Hey Steve, I bought that exact same shirt.....it's the logo from the '79 tour, updated.

It's awesome!

[Spears]

So it's not geeky, it's vintage! That's good news.

[Sean Daly]

Wow, taking sartorial cues from Al. You two are a couple of ladykillers.

I should add that I was with Spears for the T-shirt purchasing. It was like standing next to Rain Main. Seriously, I thought his head was gonna explode. Seconds after he bought it, he was devastated by its suckage. Plus the shirt was for the 2007 leg, and it didn't even mention Tampa.

My tee rocks, by the way. Dirty girl with devil horns. "Runnin' with the devil since '78." Badass.

[Jeff in Cuba]

I wore my Clash concert tee (from the 'Combat Rock' tour) in heavy rotation back in college. I thought it "toughened up" my image.

In retrospect, I was probably just "wimping down" the Clash's image.

[Neil]

I bought a sleeveless Monkees concert shirt in '86 that was white and very 80's looking. I wonder if the sleeveless concert shirts will make a come back. I also bought a bootleg Van Halen concert shirt during the Hagar years and I still have it, but wish I would have just paid a little more for a genuine shirt. You are correct when you say they just melt in the rain. I overall wasn't a big fan of concert shirts, all the kids who wore them in my highschool were stoners, so didn't want to get lumped into that category.

[Neil]

I forget to mention, I was at the Van Halen show when they came to Chicago, and was really disappointed with the selection of shirts. I like the old classic VH logo shirt but that was about it. Was hoping they would bring back the guy with the hammer from the 1984 tour or the baby smoking the cigarette.

[Tonianne]

Cyndi Lauper's horrific guest performance aside, my favorite concert tee is Pink Floyd's The Wall at Potsdamer Platz, Berlin. It was during the summer of '90, after the Wall came down (thus causing all subsequent Olympics to suck).

Tied for second place are my Social Distortion skelly tee, my Clash at Pier 84 tee and my NON-knock-off tattered but loved CBGB's tee. May it RIP.

The tee shirt purchase I am least proud of? Palladium NYC, purchased the night some chick named Paula Abdul showed up to perform "Straight Up."

[Bassnote]

Oh my gosh... I had the same Styx shirt! Was yours sleeveless too? I still have a Styx shirt from the '96 tour which has the Paradise Theatre marquee on it.

Favorite Shirts:

Genesis 1982 Three Sides Live tour - great montage of Genesis album covers

Yes 1983 90125 tour - white 3/4 sleeves, body of the shirt black with the 90125 logo. Classic

Depeche Mode 1986 Black Celebration tour - white shirt with colorful dM logo on it.

Worst:

The Cars 1984 Heartbeat City tour - bad shirt with bad replica of album cover from the worst concert I ever saw.

Julian Lennon 1986 Secret Value of Daydreaming tour - great show (really!) but always caught flack from people when I wore the shirt.

Aerosmith 1988 Perminent Vacation tour - Loved the shirt, but didn't realize when I bought it that under the words 'Walk This Way' on the back of the shirt was a picture of a woman's bare legs attached to a very naked buttocks. I never took a close look at the back of the shirt before I put it on, and wound up offending several females that I knew.

[Jeff in Cuba]

I wasn't directly involved in my "worst t-shirt" story, but it was still memorable.

My buddy Chuck made the mistake of wearing a "Culture Club" shirt (it may or may not have been a concert tee) into a bar in Laramie, Wyoming. In his defense, we hadn't planned to make the 45-minute drive across the border when we went out, but the combination of a couple of coeds and a 19-year-old drinking age soon put us there anyway.

A couple of cowboys told Chuck to "change his shirt, or they'd change it for him." Suspiciously, the bartender was more than happy to sell him a T-shirt with the bar's name emblazoned on it, and I still think it was a bit of a scam.

At the time, however, I was just thrilled that we didn't end up in the men's room with our wrists duct-taped to our ankles.

[Neil]

I worked at JC Penney in the late 80's and I stole a New Kids on the Block shirt and I would wear it all the time. My friends understood the humor in it, but then there were the haters, who didn't understand the sarcasm of the shirt. I almost got into a few fights for mockingly wearing a NKOTB shirt. You know, I wish I still had that shirt.

[Spears]

The classic VH logo shirt looked great on the front, but the back of the shirt was dull -- it just said "World Tour 2007-08" in white, block letters.

To be honest, I really wanted this gray shirt, but they ran out of the Hindenberg size I needed.

[Melissa]

I still have all my concert shirts. They are folded and placed on a special memorial rack in my closet. My OLDEST concert shirt is a sleeveless John Cougar (no Mellencamp) shirt I got when he opened for Heart. My favorite shirt is the Cheap Trick concert shirt from their One on One tour. Ahhh, good memories.

[jane]

I really don’t have a non-favorite concert tee... I tend to buy mine after the gig, so if a show isn’t up to my particular liking (aka it sucked) then no shirt for me. Currently in heavy rotation are replicas of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and Joy Division. Plus the three (Vancouver opening night, Halloween at MSG and regular shirt) from the recent Police tour.

However, it seems that all my really favorite shirts from the past have had a consistent theme -- they give new meaning to “shrink to fit.” Wear them once = great. After a turn through the washer/dryer = too tight for public appearances.

Happened to a Springsteen shirt a co-worker of my dad’s brought me from his gig at the Lakeland Civic Center in ‘80. Cool one day wearing it to school under a blazer; so not cool with dad after that. I think I ended up wearing it to wash my car. Same with the Who t-shirt from the now-infamous gig in ‘82 -- too tight to wear anywhere but around the dorm after a wash. Also happened to my Stones Steel Wheels shirt -- but not, interestingly enough to my Sting/Dream of the Blue Turtles shirt -- which actually got really stretched out and I think remnants of which are still in my rag bin. Most recent shrink-to-fit = Tom Jones from his gig last year. It’s now sleepwear.

[specialk]

Oh how I love concert tees too bad not many bands made their way through Portland, Oregon or my parents would let me go... Depeche Mode, etc. My favorite one is my Power Station shirt, I was amazed that my parents let me actually wear it in public since the back of the shirt is the naked lady that is animated in their videos. I wore that shirt for a week straight before my mom finally insisted on washing it (I think I mentioned this before) if I wanted to take it to soccer camp with me. I have to say that it made me popular with some of the counselors who were college students (I was a mere junior high student).

[Jeff in Cuba]

Jane,

Most of my 80's wear is too tight as well, but I can't blame it on the laundry!

[jane]

Oh, I hear you on that one, Jeff. The twist is that the shirts became too tight right then and there -- thanks to the high quality of material and perhaps my poor laundry skills.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Jane,

You've obviously never been exposed to the shrink-free magic of "bachelor laundry".

Any single male can tell you that plucking a shirt from the top of a huge pile of dirty clothes is a faux pas, but jamming your arm in up to the shoulder to retrieve an article from the bottom of the pile is fair game.

Here's how it works: The internal heat generated from a sufficently massive pile of dirty clothes is enough to render the clothes deep within the pile as clean. In fact, if you fail to wear the clothes from the bottom of your pile, you run the risk of spontaneous combustion.

[jane]

Nice, Jeff. I learned something new today. Never let it be said that being Stuck in the '80s is not educational.

One of my two biggest issues doing bachelorette laundry was often running out of undergarments before I had time/inclination to hit the laundromat. So I would invariably end up just buying more.

The other issue was never having enough quarters for the machines. Probably because the laundromat I frequented was next to the bar I really frequented and I would end up spending laundry quarters on beer.

[Bassnote]

Neil, I bought the same Monkees shirt. The shame of the sleeveless t-shirt lives on.

[Debra]

and speaking of T-shirts...Jeff, I am waiting for my chance to get a Radio GTMO shirt. Any word?

[jane]

You know, I saw the Monkees twice in the summer of '86. But didn't come away with a t-shirt either time. Maybe it's better that way.

[chad ledoux]

i too was an avid concert shirt person. i dont think i wore anything else in high school. to me, there was nothing cooler, than wearing your tee the day after the show. i remember wearing my 1984 vh tee the day after, and various KISS shirts as well. i try to attend as many shows as i possibly can, and i still buy at least one per show. my closet is full of different shirts from various bands, but i browse ebay on occassion to try and find some of the ones i bought all those years ago. i wasnt much of a sleeveless shirt guy, except the def leppard union jack tee. i guess i can feel better knowing im not alone in my love of the almighty concert t-shirt.

[Bassnote]

I forgot my Peter Gabriel shirt from 1986 So tour - gray shirt with small cartoon picture of PG on left breast side, back was covered in rows of dancing raw chickens (like the ones dancing in the Sledgehammer video). I wore that shirt so often the material became almost see through.

[Marissa]

I got a rock
Well, the 80s concert t-shirt I will own up to is equivalent to the proverbial Charlie Brown Halloween treat rock

MR. MISTER. It was oversized and I sewed in shoulder pads so I could wear it with leggings.

[Al]

Steve,

I would have paid big time for a "1984" tour shirt, with the guy and the hammer logo.

Oh well......was the line-up for stuff crazy in Tampa?

I waited through the entire opening set and then another 10 minutes just to get a shirt......man it took a long time.

Thankfully I got to my seat about 2 minutes before "You Really Got Me" started kicking my butt!

[Steve Spears]

No line really for shirts. I walked right up. I think the prices kept a lot of people away. Either that or people just paced themselves. Because seriously -- everyone there was wearing a VH shirt.

They did have a lot of retro shirts, but not the ones I wanted. I should have bought the same shirt as Sean, but I was worried about that awkward moment when we both show up at work wearing the same shirt. (We already both own the same Cheap Trick shirt.)

[Carla]

Steve, I've always meant to ask you, if the Journey Escape jersey you purchased from the Journey website has anything on the back of it. The original, which I still own (although a few sizes smaller now), had them standing on stairs looking up. I believe it was the 45 cover shot??

One shirt that I bought and then lost the same night, was my "Next Position Please" jersey. Really wish I had still had it.

[80sfan]

Is it so wrong that I am still wearing these concert shirts today? I LOVE LOVE LOVE my concert shirts. I make a mad dash for the merchandise booth at practically every show. Some still look half way decent after 20 years. One shirt I wish I still had but was too small from day one, was from Pseudo Echo. The front was a great illustration of a kangaroo playing a guitar. Fabulous.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Debra (and everyone else),

I'm still working on the Radio GTMO T-shirts, but I'm sure Steve will announce if/when/how they'll be available.

I should have some news in the next couple of weeks.

By the way, the back of the shirt features a cariciture of Fidel Castro and the station motto: "Rockin' in Fidel's Backyard". I guess we'll need to update it now that he's retiring, but "Rockin' in Raul's Backyard" doesn't have the same zing.

[Steve Persall]

My fave concert t is a faded Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt from the Bayfront Center show in 1977. Three days later I was visiting my college in Kansas and wore it for the first time. A friend saw it and told me it was too bad about the band. That's when I first heard about the plane crash.

Least fave? The one from the Jacksons' Victory tour stop in Jacksonville in 1984.

[Spears]

The Journey shirt I own has all the 1981 dates on the back of it. If you notice, it's the same shirt I'm wearing in the photo at the top right corner of the blog.

[Marissa]

Spearsy, do you ever actually remove the Journey shirt? It's really a body tattoo, huh?

[Pat]

I love 80s concert shirts. I loved the way everyone would show up to school wearing the shirt from the concert the night before. So you have 50 kids wearing U2 shirts throughout the campus. it was the status symbol that said, "I was there."