Lollygaggers! Ten irritating baseball movie lines
For those of us lucky enough to live in communities in which emotional and economical fates are tied to nine guys dressed in knickers, today marks the start of yet another season of Major League Baseball.
Or here in Tampa Bay -- home of the "No Longer the Devil Rays ... Just the Rays," we just call it "Five Months 'Til Football Season" Day.
To commemorate this festive occasion, Times pop critic Sean Daly, Times sports columnist Tom Jones and I have toiled to record a special "Baseball movies of the '80s" podcast for you on Stuck in the 80s. Click here to download it. Or click here to get all our shows for free delivered via iTunes.
In the meantime, here are 10 sure-fire ways to get your office into the spirit of the game today.
TEN WAYS TO IRRITATE COWORKERS WITH LINES FROM 80s BASEBALL MOVIES:
After being caught heaving in the office bathroom after last night's festivities: "It's okay, honey. I... I was just talking to the cornfield." (Field of Dreams)
When someone offers to go on a Starbucks run: "Yo, bartender, Jobu needs a refill. " (Major League)
After schooling someone at the department meeting: "You just got lesson number one: don't think; it can only hurt the ball club." (Bull Durham)
To the sandwich maker at the company cafeteria: "Pick me out a winner Bobby." (The Natural)
After forcing down the sandwich -- not made by anyone named Bobby for that matter: "You can't spell it, but it eats pretty good, don't it?" (The Natural)
Anywhere but in the men's room: "The rose goes in the front, big guy." (Bull Durham)
Definitely no where near the men's room: "Big whop now. Big whop, Betsy; you tell me when." (Eight Men Out)
Use this one in there instead: "You got a Hall-of-Fame arm, but you're p-ssing it away." (Bull Durham)
When the coworker from two cubicles over keeps sending you suggestive instant messages: "I guess some mistakes you never stop paying for." (The Natural)
To the jerk who used to date the coworker two cubicles over: "How's your wife and my kids?" (Major League)
When the boss calls you into the office after hearing those last two comments: "I'm hung over, my knees are killin' me and if you're going to pull this sh-t at least you could've said you were from the Yankees." (Major League)
(Think you know baseball movies? Try this online quiz I wrote last week.)




It's been two weeks since our last Stuck in the 80s podcast! Do you miss us? Even Johnny 5 is getting cranky. Though he does hold a bag of those delicious Funyuns, along with a stylish SIT80s bumper sticker that he bought at 
9. MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES: This would be the first time Eddie played more than character, tackling Prince Akeem, Clarence the barber, Saul (the old white guy in the barber shop) and Randy Watson, the singer of the band Sexual Chocolate.
5. ARSENIO CAN ACT: Even Arsenio Hall, the Bud Abbott of the '80s, shows some rare acting skills here. Whatever happened to him?
2. "WE'RE BACK!" One of the funniest scenes: The "Duke Brothers"
-- Randy and Mortimer -- from 1983's "Trading Places" are bums on the
street until former co-star Murphy hands them a bag of money.
Time to take money out of our retirement accounts: We have yet another can't-miss '80s legend making a summer tour.



Thank the maker that Major League Baseball is about to start. I'm not sure I can handle any more televised basketball or hockey. And I've watched "




We told you it was just a matter of getting his ducks in a row: George Michael's "25 Live" tour has finally and officially announced its dates for North America. 
We hide their tunes in secret playlists on iTunes. Their CDs are tucked into drawers where no friends will see them. And when their hit songs come on the radio, we switch channels in mock disgust while secretly singing along to the outlawed tune in our heads.
22. Kenny Rogers: He never did learn when to fold them. Just ask his plastic surgeon.
17. Al Jarreau: He had 18 singles that charted in the '80s, but I guess we're not in this love together anymore.
12. Debbie Gibson: Out of the blue, she changed her name to Deborah. Oh, that'll help.
7. Kenny G: A punchline for generations to come. But somebody's buying his records.
What to hear something that will make you feel old and tired, as if the world were ending tomorrow (the opposite of the "Genesis Effect" for you Trekkies out there): William Shatner turns 77 years old today. 

DAY AT THE BALLPARK: Trickier because you could be spotted, either by fellow Ferris-pullers
or on TV. Plus, an outdoor venue brings the possibility of sunburn. For
this excursion, I recommend trying this: "My doctor called and ordered
a 
As we continue our quest to identify the 
Canada's 80s heroes The Tragically Hip will receive its country's National Arts Centre Award for 2008, considered quite an honor from what I've read in publications up north.
Our latest Stuck in the 80s podcast is online, and once again I'm forced into a corner to explain the songs we picked for the show.
On this lovely St. Patrick's Day, the official holiday of the 80s, allow me to make a toast:
This isn't easy to admit: I'm addicted to the new TV show "





