Lollygaggers! Ten irritating baseball movie lines

For those of us lucky enough to live in communities in which emotional and economical fates are tied to nine guys dressed in knickers, today marks the start of yet another season of Major League Baseball.

Or here in Tampa Bay -- home of the "No Longer the Devil Rays ... Just the Rays," we just call it "Five Months 'Til Football Season" Day.

To commemorate this festive occasion, Times pop critic Sean Daly, Times sports columnist Tom Jones and I have toiled to record a special "Baseball movies of the '80s" podcast for you on Stuck in the 80s. Click here to download it. Or click here to get all our shows for free delivered via iTunes.

In the meantime, here are 10 sure-fire ways to get your office into the spirit of the game today.

TEN WAYS TO IRRITATE COWORKERS WITH LINES FROM 80s BASEBALL MOVIES:

After being caught heaving in the office bathroom after last night's festivities: "It's okay, honey. I... I was just talking to the cornfield." (Field of Dreams)

When someone offers to go on a Starbucks run: "Yo, bartender, Jobu needs a refill. " (Major League)

After schooling someone at the department meeting: "You just got lesson number one: don't think; it can only hurt the ball club." (Bull Durham)

To the sandwich maker at the company cafeteria: "Pick me out a winner Bobby." (The Natural)

After forcing down the sandwich -- not made by anyone named Bobby for that matter: "You can't spell it, but it eats pretty good, don't it?" (The Natural)

Anywhere but in the men's room: "The rose goes in the front, big guy." (Bull Durham)

Definitely no where near the men's room: "Big whop now. Big whop, Betsy; you tell me when." (Eight Men Out)

Use this one in there instead: "You got a Hall-of-Fame arm, but you're p-ssing it away." (Bull Durham)

When the coworker from two cubicles over keeps sending you suggestive instant messages: "I guess some mistakes you never stop paying for." (The Natural)

To the jerk who used to date the coworker two cubicles over: "How's your wife and my kids?" (Major League)

When the boss calls you into the office after hearing those last two comments: "I'm hung over, my knees are killin' me and if you're going to pull this sh-t at least you could've said you were from the Yankees." (Major League)

(Think you know baseball movies? Try this online quiz I wrote last week.)

Comments

[Eric62]

Annoying AND baseball? Wow. Tough for a Monday morning, but here goes.

When co-worker tosses up a softy task for someone to knock out before lunch: "Hey batta batta batta hey batta batta batta swwwwwiiiiing batta!''

Annoying? Sure
Baseball? Can we agree that for at least 10 minutes, Ferris Bueller is a baseball movie?

[Chris C]

I always thought anything from Bull Durham was irritating.:)

[Marissa]

Eric62, when I think of Chicago baseball, that scene from FBDO always pops in my head.

Yes, it's a rainy, chilly opening day for the Chicago Cubs. Wrigley Field's infield is covered with a tarp. With new, improved drainage, they hope the outfield will be safe.

The Northside revelers have already started their campaign for THIS to be THE year for the beloved Cubbies. On opening day it's never too early to pop open a Budweiser at Harry Caray's Tavern.

[Marissa]

Oh, I should note that Ernie Banks is throwing out the first pitch.

What's baseball without a little Harry Caray?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16xyyuSc0tY

[Rock_Vbrg]

How about when your co-worker knocks over their coffee in the meeting:

"Oh my God! It's a natural disaster." (Bull Durham)

[Walter Cox]

I do like using "lollygaggers."

And when I used to play church league softball, I was notorious for having a case of the yips during warmups. If somebody was standing too close to me, I'd end up throwing the ball wide, at which point I'd refer to hitting the bull.

[chad]

i love that scene in bull durham when nuke hits the bull. i dont know why, but it cracks me up. i think its the way the bulls legs are when he gets hit right in the head. i watched field of dreams last night, might have to pull out bull durham tonight. then maybe, for love of the game on my day off.

[CB]

What about when a coworker makes a ridiculous suggestion in a meeting...

"Just a bit outside!" (Major League)

[Bassnote]

A few more to use:

"I didn't know who she was, I swear to God!" (Major League)

'Anything traveling that far ought to have a damn stewardess on it." (Bull Durham)

"Build it, and they will come." (Field Of Dreams)

"He crushes one to South America." (Major League)

"Wild Thing, You make my heart sing." (Major League)

"They're kids, scare 'em" (Bull Durham)

But, the best one is still "Lollygaggers!"

[Bassnote]

By the way, I watched Bull Durham last night.

[Bassnote]

Great podcast, and Tom was a fine addition to the sausage hang. I feel like you guys short changed the movie Major League somewhat. It only got mentioned in the quiz. Maybe you can do a podcast just on that movie, there is plenty of material to work with.

[Neil]

I was hoping but I looked it up and none of the Bad News Bears movies came out in the 80's. I loved those. My favorite line is when Ahmad gets hit in the nuts with the ball and the coach comes out and asks for a stretcher and I think Tanner says, what? a stretcher for his balls? I know, very adolescent line that floors me every time.

[Spears]

I think "Bad News Bears" was my first baseball movie, so it holds a special place in my heart -- and other parts that occasionally need to be carried out on a stretcher.

As for Major League -- yeah, expect a whole podcast on that movie alone. Maybe this week, if you insist. I have the DVD and I haven't thought of another topic yet, so ...

[Carla]

With all this baseball talk, I watched "Major League" yesterday! Dare I say Classic!! Not to be pushy... but I think it would make a great 'timely' podcast!!

[Bassnote]

Another great quote to use from Major League:

"I hate this ****in' song."

[Clark]

A co-worker makes a lame suggestion: "Let me get back to you, will ya, Charlie? I got a guy on the other line asking about some white walls."

[Spears]

I love that line, Clark.

There's too many lines from Major League. That's the problem. But for sheer lack of any better idea, maybe we will tackle it this week.

[jane]

loved the podcast this week -- testosterone-filled and timely too!

Would totally dig a Major League podcast - I ripped it to the iPod so I can watch while on the road (just call me Ellen Griswold... "Holiday Ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oad") and be in the know when I listen.

[Bassnote]

Another one from Major League that i used to use on women who complained about their boyfriends:

"Want me to drag him outside and beat the **** out of him?"

[Spears]

Major League might be the PERFECT 80s movie. Every line is quotable. Imagine the difficulty getting Sean to concentrate at all.

[Douglas Arthur]

Liked the podcast this week. You seem to do well when you have another member of the paper's review staff pitch in and help (no pun intended). Even sometimes, your super secret friends. This one could have certainly lasted a lot longer than its 40+ minutes. I quite like the Natural and 8 Men Out, while Field Of Dreams just leaves me cold. I have never been a big Costner fan, which explains why I have never seen Bull Durham. (Though, strangely, I have seen Fandango)

One movie that had a minor league baseball scene in it that i don't recall you discussing in your podcast, however was Brewster's Millions with Richard Pryor and John Candy. I haven't seen it since the theater, so we are going on more than 20 years of memory here, but i recall a scene early on (before the millions) where he is playing baseball for a minor league team (which I believe had a bull mascot, also, and this was a few years before Bull Durham came out) I want to say that they had to stop play every now and again because a train ran through the outfield?? Anyone with a better memory back me up on this?? I realize that the rest of the movie wasn't really about Baseball, but I remember this scene pretty well.

Duty now,

[Douglas Arthur]

My Major League memory:

"That ball wouldn't have been out of most parks."
"Name one!"
"Yellowstone."

Not sure if that was in the actual movie, but it was in the trailer.

[David]

I did not see quotes from the Sandlot such as "that baseball is worth more then your life", and don't forget the most important quote of all (even though it's from the 90s):
"THEIR'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL" (Field of Dreams).

[David]

"You play ball like a girl" (The Sandlot), "Their's no crying in baseball" (A league of their own).

[Douglas Arthur]

I think The Sandlot was 90's. I remember projecting it at the drive-in. and i didn't start working there until '93. Dennis Leary was in it, and he didn't really become a "star" until the '90s.