All Time High: Bond in the 80s

There's something amiss this movie season. Anyone else feel the void? We need a chain-smoking British agent to take down all the world's evil-doers -- while wearing an Armani tuxedo and sipping a vodka martini ... shaken, not stirred.

Say what you like about Pierce Brosnan's turn as Agent 007, but naturally I still yearn for the simpler days of James Bond. Give me a really catchy theme song, an aging action star in the lead role and some cheesy dialog, and I'm ready to run out and tackle Blofeld, Kristatos, Kamal Khan and Max Zorin all on my own.

We'll have to wait until November 2008 to see the latest 007 installment -- "Quantum of Solace" (trailer) -- although I'm not sure I can handle another beating like Daniel Craig took at the end of "Casino Royale." (And I'm betting he can't either.) So until then...

RANKING THE BOND FLICKS OF THE 80s:

6. A VIEW TO A KILL (1985): Aside from the Duran Duran theme song and Christopher Walken as the villain, put the final flick by Roger Moore at the bottom of the list -- perhaps all-time.

5. NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN (1983): Sean Connery's comeback is not considered a Bond "franchise" flick, but with Kim Basinger and Max von Sydow, it's very watchable.

4. OCTOPUSSY (1983): Note quite an "All Time High," as Rita Coolidge sings in the opening credits, but Maud Adams has our attention as the jewel-smuggling circus owner and proprietor of a female-only island.

3. LICENSE TO KILL (1989): Bond fans blast Timothy Dalton's two-film turn as 007, but I loved the guy -- surly, unliked by his fellow agents and still years away from torturing us in "Beautician and the Beast." Plus, this one's filmed in Key West and involves the return of American agent "Felix Leiter." Add in Wayne Newton as the hilariously sleazy "Professor Joe Butcher," and it's a contender for the top spot.

2. THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (1987): Dalton's first appearance as Bond takes viewers to Gibraltar, Bratislava, England, Austria, Tangier and Afghanistan. When was the last time a Bond movie took you to so many locales? Then hand over the theme song duties to a-ha and cast future Bond ally Joe Don Baker as the villain. I find it hard to rank this flick as only second-best.

1. FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (1981): Perhaps a Bond film at its more formulaic, which suits me just fine. A classically haunting theme song by Sheena Easton, the stunningly beautiful Carole Bouquet as "Melina," who seeks to avenge her parents death (then skinny dip with Bond through the closing credits). "Fiddler on the Roof's" Topol as nut-chomping ally "Milos." And, in the clinching casting move in Bond history, "Ice Castle's" Lynn-Holly Johnson as the young ice skating nymphet. She's for your eyes only too (but rest easy -- she was well over 18 when she played the role of "Bibi.")

Sunday's chat: Earworms of the 80s

Poor B.A. He has a bad case of the "80s earworm" -- where a song drills its insanely catchy lyrics deep into the head of an innocent music fan.

The whole irony is that the best cure for an earworm is simply humming the theme to "The A-Team." (Special thanks to former podcast co-host Cathy Wos for revealing that important knowledge to Stuck in the 80s fans.)

Sunday's chat topics: Earworms of the 80s -- which songs do you find impossible to get out of your head? (Me? It's "Living in a Box" and "Mr. Roboto" ... "I'm not a hero! I'm not a savior! Forget what you know! I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control!")

Also: We chatted about the much-contested list of Best John Cusack Movies, this week's podcast and the upcoming Vegas trip!

Thanks to everyone who turned up for the chat. Remember, we'll take next Sunday off.

Reliving 80s Night at Tropicana Field

Ever wonder what some of our long-time fans look like? Well, here's Sweet Lou Grilli and his wife Barbara with me at Tropicana Field for 80s Night.

Lou reportedly has 15,000 songs on his iPod, and has listened to every Stuck in the 80s podcast since Episode #1 nearly three years ago. He was one of a handful of fans who won free tickets to that night's Tampa Bay Rays game in our podcast giveaway.

Speaking of podcasts, the latest episode is now online. The topic: Sean Daly and I revisit 80s Night at Tropicana Field.

But there's so much more, including Sean's retelling of his first visit to the "Spears Lair." And the ultimate 80s trivia challenge. The first five people to send in all five correct answers win a tampabay.com baseball cap. So far, nobody has sent in the correct five answers. So don't give up!

Click here to download the show, or click here to get all our shows for free via iTunes. Leave us some feedback and let us know how we're doing.

SUNDAY CHAT: Yes, we're chatting tonight about 9 p.m. The subject: Earworms of the 80s. Stay tuned for the official blog post.

Official John Cusack Appreciation Day!

It's June 28 ... you know what that means, right? It's John Cusack's birthday! His 42nd this time around.

Am I going too far out on the limb by declaring our man Cusack the patron saint of '80s movies? Would it be exaggerating to call him the dream boyfriend of any female who drew a breath of teenage air in our beloved decade? Is there even one male out there who didn't learn how to shotgun a beer by watching "Gib" demonstrate it in "The Sure Thing?"

(Can it be wrong that I took the whole day off from work to sit at home and watch all his movies back to back, chronologically and autobiographically?)

No, no, (burp) and hell no.

But on this occasion, let's go one step farther. Let's blow out the '80s constraints on today's list and finally dare to be great. Something truly worthy of 42 birthdays.

TOP 42 FILMS OF JOHN CUSACK:

42. City Hall (1996)
41. Serendipity (2001)
40. Floundering (1994)
39. Money for Nothing (1993)
38. Map of the Human Heart (1993)
37. Roadside Prophets (1992)
36. Elvis Stories (1989)
35. The Road to Wellville (1994)
34. Identity (2003)
33. Bob Roberts (1992)
32. Shadows and Fog (1992)
31. Con Air (1997)
30. The Thin Red Line (1998)
29. America's Sweethearts (2001)
28. Must Love Dogs (2005)
27. Bullets Over Broadway (1994) 
26. Runaway Jury (2003) 
25. Martian Child (2007)
24. Broadcast News (1987)
23. Stand by Me (1986)
22. The Journey of Natty Gann (1985)
21. The Jack Bull (1999)
20. Fat Man and Little Boy (1989)
19. The Ice Harvest (2005)
18. Sixteen Candles (1984)
17. Class (1983)
16. Hot Pursuit (1987)
15. Pushing Tin (1999)
14. One Crazy Summer (1986)
13. 1408 (2007)
12. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (1997)
11. Being John Malkovich (1999)
10. The Grifters (1990)
9. Max (2002)
8. Tapeheads (1988)
7. Grosse Pointe Blank (1997)
6. Eight Men Out (1988)
5. True Colors (1991)
4. The Sure Thing (1985)
3. Say Anything (1989)
2. Better Off Dead (1985)
1. High Fidelity (2000)

Mystic Pizza's secret ingredient

Everyone has a theory on what makes 1988's "Mystic Pizza" a memorable flick from our decade.

The first really good look at Julia Roberts maybe? Our man Vincent D'Onofrio as as the rejected fisherman, one year away his epic performance as "Private Pyle" in "Full Metal Jacket"? The always intoxicating Lili Taylor, just a year before her best flick, "Say Anything?" ("That'll never be me, that'll never be me. That'll never be, never be me. No, no, no!")

All good guesses, but you're missing the true genius -- the eternal innocence and beauty of Annabeth Gish.

(Well, Annabeth and whatever they put in the pizza sauce. Because I every time I see the movie, I end up ordering $50 worth of delivery from Pizza Hut.)

I'm not the only person obsessed with Annabeth. There's an entire website devoted to her every breath on this planet -- All Things Annabeth. About time the Internet did something for the public good ... aside from this blog, of course.

What is Annabeth up to these days? Still acting, of course. She appeared in TV's "West Wing" in 2003, playing the oldest eldest daughter of President Bartlet. In 2006, she appeared in "The Celestine Prophecy" and Showtime's "Brotherhood."

In 2009, maybe as the role of the next "Mrs. Stuck in the 80s?" She's just gotta dump that stunt-man husband of hers. While I wait patiently...

TOP 5 MEMORABLE ROLES OF ANNABETH GISH:

5. SLC PUNK (1998): Hey, it's about a punk named Stevo. So I'm on the right track.

4. WYATT EARP (1994): She dies. Hope I didn't give anything away.

3. SHAG (1989): "It isn't a bone at all, it's a muscle." 

2. HIDING OUT (1987): "Crying ... over you..."

1. MYSTIC PIZZA (1988): As Yale-bound "Kat" -- the world's sexiest babysitter and planetarium guide -- she turns every red-blooded male into an Ivy League fan and astrology junkie. I'm still seeing stars.

Nothing 'Foolish' about this feat

Where were you 20 years ago this week? Deborah Gibson was busy celebrating her first-ever No. 1 single -- and her high school graduation.

Yep, on June 26, 1988, Deborah Gibson (only "Debbie" to her non-friends she told us during our podcast interview) was walking across a graduation stage, just 24 hours after "Foolish Beat" hit the top of the charts, making her the youngest person to date to write, produce and perform a No. 1 hit.

(What were co-host Sean Daly and I doing on that same date? Probably competing head-to-head in a gordita-eating contest, thus assuring that 20 years later, neither of us has a chance on being Deborah's date to her high school reunion.)

Finally old enough to be your father figure

George Michael has enjoyed a hell of a year.

His public persona was rehabilitated via constantly clever cameos on TV's "Eli Stone." His new CD "Twenty Five" -- celebrating his 25 years in the music biz -- is selling well. He made a guest appearance on the "American Idol" finale, singing "Praying For Time." And his first tour of the U.S. in approximately 300 years finally kicked off last week in California. (He stops in Tampa Bay on Aug. 2.)

So what is left for George to wish for when blowing out the candles today for his 45th birthday? (Maybe a better plastic surgeon? More reasonable rates on legal insurance? A 24-hour bail bondsman located near the London's McDonalds drive-through?)

I'd say George Michael is one of the biggest feel-good stories of 2008 -- for an 80s star or anybody really.

[AP photo]

25 years later, The Fixx still reaching

In the 80s, it wasn't unusual to see bands that enjoyed great success in their own countries but gained little appreciation overseas. But the reversal was quite rare. Just look at The Fixx.

In the early 80s, the London-born new wave band took their music to MTV, building a huge fan base and catalog of hits that charted higher in the U.S. and Canada than back home. Their 1983 album -- "Reach the Beach" -- would prove to be their opus, hitting No. 8 on the album charts and featuring their signature hit, "One Thing Leads to Another."

"Reach the Beach" should have ranked higher, but hey, it was 1983. Michael Jackson's "Thriller" and The Police's "Synchronicity" ruled for much of the year (not to mention runs by Quiet Riot, Lionel Richie and even the soundtrack to "Flashdance.")

These days, with founding members Cy Curnin and Adam Woods still on board, The Fixx tours on, celebrating the 25th anniversary of "Reach the Beach" this year. Rumor has it another album is in the works for next year as well. The band plays St. Petersburg's Jannus Landing on Friday, June 27. (Check their official website to find a date near you.) Need five good reasons to catch them live?

Sounds like the old R.E.M. is back

R.E.M. is nowhere near to plotting a tour through North America yet, but fans here might like to know the band's weekend gig in Atlanta earned gushing praise from the hometown press.

"They rocked hard, folks. Forget that mostly bland period between the excellent 'New Adventures in Hi-Fi' album and the 'comeback' blast of 'Accelerate'," wrote David O'Brien of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. "If they were in danger of slipping from relevance for many younger rock fans ... then they have certainly stepped forward with this album and this tour and answered any skeptics and critics, at least any who are actually paying attention and listening to the music."

The band tore through 28 songs during the show, throwing in a handful of older classics to mix with the requisite new offerings. R.E.M. now heads back to Europe to continue their world tour. (Click here for dates.) Guess the rest of us will sit here patiently and contemplate what we're missing.

Here's the full set list, according to REMring.com:

• These Days
• Living Well Is the Best Revenge
• So Fast, So Numb
• What's The Frequency, Kenneth?
• Time After Time
• Driver 8
• Man Sized Wreath
• Walk Unafraid
• Hollow Man
• Ignoreland
• Houston
• Electrolite
• (Don't Go Back to) Rockville
• Auctioneer (Another Engine)
• Harborcoat
• The One I Love
• I've Been High
• Let Me In
• Bad Day
• Horse To Water
• Orange Crush
• I'm Gonna DJ

Encores:

• Supernatural Superserious
• Losing My Religion
• Pretty Persuasion
• Nightswimming
• Fall On Me
• Man on the Moon

[AP photo from NYC concert]

"Another suburban family morning..."

Now that The Police are about to wrap up their reunion tour and call it quits again, who out there needs a fix of the good stuff?

Today, Amazon.com has a deal that not even our trio of morose Englishmen can turn down. For $1.99, you can download the entire Synchronicity album. Click here to see the details.

(Sadly, you can't omit "Mother" and "Miss Gradenko" from the automatic download.)

If you haven't heard our Stuck in the 80s podcast tribute to this landmark 80s album, click here to download the show.

No visa, no tour for Boy George?

Looking forward to seeing Boy George this summer on his first North American tour in 10 years? Ummm, the wait might not quite be over.

George, who has faced a small mountain of legal woes in recent years, has been denied a U.S. visa, according to Pollstar.com.

It's not yet clear if the entire tour will be canceled. Pollstar says no dates have been affected - yet, but Boy George's official website says the tour is indeed off - probably. Confused? Yeah. Surprised? Not really.

"At the moment, Boy George cannot come to the United States of America because he has been refused permission to enter by the USA Administration," reads a statement on his website. "This is not in respect of anything he has done in the past but because he is facing a trial in November in London for something that happened in April last year. George's lawyers in London have absolutely forbidden us to speak about the facts of that case and all I can say is that George is astounded at the decision and is having lawyers here in the States look at it in the hope that someone will change their mind."

Boy George had a date scheduled for July 27 at St. Petersburg's Jannus Landing. Stay tuned to see what happens with this show.

[Photo from boygeorgelive.com]

"It's good to have cable TV"

For those of you with actual social lives, I tip my cap. For the rest of us, it's Monday night and that's 80s night on cable TV these days, baby!

So many choices for today (all times Eastern):

• Funny Farm at 4 p.m. on AMC
• Look Who's Talking at 6 p.m. on AMC
• Beverly Hills Cop at 8 p.m. on Bravo
• The Princess Bride at 8 p.m. on AMC
• Beverly Hills Cop 2 at 10 p.m. on Bravo

But the official Stuck in the 80s recommendation for tonight? "History of the World Part 1" at 10 p.m. on AMC. I've seen it going on 50 or 60 times now, and it still kills me. And now that Harvey Korman, who played "Count de Monet" with such gusto, is gone, what better time to reacquaint yourself with his best 80s work.

TOP 5 LINES FROM HISTORY OF THE WORLD PART 1:

5. "Wait for the shake!"

4. "With the birth of the artist came the inevitable afterbirth - the critic."

3. "Ah, but the servant waits, while the master baits."

2. "Don't get saucy with me, Bernaise."

1. "It's good to be the king."

Goodbye, my most excellent friend

George Carlin, the counter-culture comedian and actor, died Sunday at age 71 in Los Angeles from heart failure, according to the Associated Press.

Carlin was the first face 80s fans see in 1989's "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure." Playing the role of "Rufus," a time-traveling guide from the future, Carlin helped Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter on their final project for history class.

Stripped of his infamous "Seven Words You Can't Say on TV" personality for the movie, Carlin played second-banana to Bill and Ted, but he still had his moments. My favorite line though: "Gentlemen... we're history."

I'm a maniac, MANIAC on the floor

Ah yes. The memories of 80s Night at Tropicana Field are flooding back to me now.

That's me with one of our all-time favorite fans, Dominic Casario, who won a double DVD of "Footloose" and "Flash Dance" during our trivia challenge. He looks happy now, but that's before he actually watched "Flash Dance" again.

"Thanks again for the tickets, the wife and I had a good time," he wrote me earlier. "We're watching the Flashdance DVD I won now. Damn, I forgot was a sh---y movie this is."

Yeah, Dominic, I hear ya. Except for the lobster dinner scene, which is epic. I've loved lobster ever since. More photos to come, including one of the immortal Sweet Lou Grilli.

Phil Oakey never stops having fun

There's something just sublimely simple and happy about talking to a guy like Philip Oakey, the long-time frontman of The Human League.

Like fellow Sheffield native Martin Fry of ABC, Phil seems to motor through life with a smile on his face and a warm greeting for those who want to talk about his music. The Human League's upcoming headlining status on The Regeneration Tour, which brings the band to the U.S. for its biggest tour in 20 years, gave me a chance to chat with Phil for a half hour last week for the Stuck in the 80s podcast.

What will you discover during the interview? Phil hates making music videos. He prefers dance music to ballads (though he's no fan of Madonna's latest disc). And if all goes well, there'll be a new Human League disc for us all to enjoy in 2009.

Click here to download the show, featuring the interview and loads of music. Or click here to get all our shows for free via iTunes. If you have time, drop us a blog comment and tell us how we did. Unlike Phil, co-host Sean Daly and I require constant positive reinforcement.

NO CHAT TONIGHT: Now that we're in the midst of summer-vacation season, let's move our chats to every-other week, skipping our chat tonight. Oh, I'll probably be online here anyway and on yahoo messenger ("spears22") if you want to talk about Phil, the Vegas trip, the new podcast or what happened at 80s Night at the Rays game last night. Always feel free to drop me an IM, e-mail or blog comment.

'What would we do, baby, without us?'

When you see this picture, here are the words that run through your mind -- like it or not:

"I bet we been together for a million years. And I bet we'll be together for a million more. Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed. And I can't remember what I ever did before."

Family Ties' Meredith Baxter and Michael Gross seemed like the perfect parents to me in the 80s (getting the slight edge over Heathcliff and Clair Huxtable, who weren't nearly as tolerant with their kids' antics as the Keatons).

Sure, they were ex-hippies who somehow managed to pop out an uber-smug Republican son, one ditzy daughter and ... well I'm not sure how to describe Tina Yothers' character. But here's something even freakier:

Did you know Gross and Baxter have the same birthday? No, not just the same calendar day. THE SAME DAY AND YEAR (June 21, 1947). And of course, that means they're both 61 today.

So here's my present. Click here to enjoy a collection of bloopers from "Family Ties." Sha-la-la-la.

John Goodman is a magnificent pagan god

If the Stuck in the 80s story even gets turned into a movie, there's a slew of Spearsy lookalikes to play the part of the loner, tubby 80s geek who can't stop quoting movies and losing women.

The profane "About Last Night" version of Jim Belushi maybe. Or goofball Tom Arnold. Maybe even Jason Bateman if you fed him a couple extra pizzas, forced a few kegs of beer into his gut and beefed him up a little.

But my money's on the beloved John Goodman, one of best bit players in the 80s before making it big on TV. Goodman, who turns 56 years old today, improved a slew of flicks with just the flashing of his welcoming, double-chinned smile.

Happy Birthday, Big Guy. And start thinking of what you'd look like once you adopt my Stuck in the 80s spiked hair style for our flick!

TOP 5 JOHN GOODMAN MOVIES OF THE 80s:

5. SEA OF LOVE (1989): "Man, that'll be a hell of a story in court. 'Well, Your Honor, first I whipped it out, then she whipped it out, if you know what I mean.' "

4. TRUE STORIES (1986): "I'm 6'3", and maintain a very consistent panda bear shape."

3. RAISING ARIZONA (1987): "What my brother here means to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us."

2. ALWAYS (1989): "You magnificent pagan god!"

1. REVENGE OF THE NERDS (1984): "You know, when you were a baby in your crib, your father looked down at you, he had but one hope - some day my son will grow to be a man."

Dead or Alive cancels tour

For one band, the 2008 Regeneration Tour is over before it even gets started. Dead or Alive -- led by the always eclectic Pete Burns -- has dropped out of the tour due to an illness in the band, according to Regeneration officials.

Instead, A Flock of Seagulls will fill in for DOA on all the tour's West Coast dates. (Seagulls was already slated to handle all the East Coast gigs.)

GET CONNECTED: The Regeneration Tour's message boards officially went online this week. Log in and find out who else is going to the show nearest you. The boards also have the latest info on the upcoming shows, including the Aug. 2 Las Vegas stop where the Stuck in the 80s gang is attending.

True Colors is a can't-miss party

The True Colors Tour rolled through Tampa Bay on Wednesday night. Sadly, the Stuck in the 80s staff was preoccupied working on this week's podcast. But chief correspondent and uber-fan Jane had great seats and sends in her review:

The hair was a little different. The voices were a smidge lower. The audience was bit more seasoned. But last night at Ruth Eckerd Hall, if you were listening, you might swear you had been rhythmically zipped back to the '80s, dancing all the way.

The True Colors tour came. It saw. It conquered. Fabulously. Here are some highlights:

BEST INTRODUCTION: Show emcee Carson Kressley called The B-52s to stage, dubbing them "the world's greatest party band." Damn straight! (And hopefully that settles the true winner of yesterday's "Cyndi vs. B-52s blog battle.)

LOVE THOSE CLASSICS: Shunning traditional tour economics, the B-52s' set list focused heavily on their classics - including the must-hears "Love Shack," "Mesopotamia," "Rock Lobster" and "Private Idaho." Still, new tunes "Love in the Year 3000" and "Funplex" were fun too.

TAKE AN ADVIL TODAY: Fred Schneider, Kate Pierson, Cindy Wilson, and Keith Strickland conveyed the sense of fun and abandon that have been their hallmark since their early days in Athens, Ga. And as the crowd gamely tried to go "down, down, down" with "Rock Lobster," save for the creaking of our collective knees, we might have been dancing the night away at an true '80s shindig.

HERE COMES CYNDI: Charming, warm and funny, Lauper commanded the stage and the audience with her energy and zest. A whirling dervish in platform shoes (which she removed halfway through her set, saying they just weren't working for her) she showed her skill both as a performer and musician.

THE DREADED NEW STUFF: The songs from her new album "Bring Ya to the Brink," played much better live than on the disc, freed from the overproduction and studio bells and whistles. Tour host Rosie O'Donnell even joined the act as a backup singer for "Into the Nightlife" and "Rocking Chair."

BUT WE JUST WANNA HAVE FUN: No surprise, it was Cyndi's established hits, many with some new twists, that supercharged the crowd. A rocking, slightly stripped-down version of "She Bop" and a lovely, melodic "Time After Time" on which Cyndi played the dulcimer, were delightful and fresh. With Rosie on drums (not half bad, either) and the crowd breaking into impromptu conga lines, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" provided the energetic apex to a rocking good time.

ALL TOGETHER NOW: A group sing of Cyndi's "True Colors" brought home the evening's message of equality and empowerment for all. As the crowd played pass-back with giant multicolored balloons and sang along with the stars on stage, we all became, for just a moment, one really big, really happy family. And it was great.

[AP photos from New York City concert]

Ready to go retro at the ballpark?

Wearing sunglasses indoors, going heavy on the hairspray and kicking back to the retro hits of Kool & The Gang. You don't need to borrow Doc Brown's DeLorean to have it all -- just a ticket to the Tampa Bay Rays game on Saturday.

"80s Night" at Tropicana Field is Saturday, June 21, and features the Rays and Houston Astros wearing throwback jerseys. The game start moves up to 6:10 p.m. to accommodate the post-game jam by Kool & The Gang.

But the time traveling starts much earlier. Rubix Cubed, an 80s cover band, will be playing the TBT Party Deck above left field from 4:10 to opening pitch. The first 10,000 fans in the gates also receive free Rays sunglasses.

Better yet, there's an 80s costume contest. (Head to Centerfield Street in the Trop to sign up before gametime.) Every entrant gets a free Rays hat, and the winner gets two tickets the Home Plate Club for a future game. Added bonus: The finalists will be introduced on the field immediately following the game (before the concert) by yours truly and Stuck in the 80s co-host Sean Daly.

Come party with me, Sean and Rubix Cubed during the game on the TBT Party Deck. It's a cheap way to enjoy the 80s and some Rays baseball.

Kathleen Turner: Poison or poetry?

These days, she's almost a caricature of an over-the-hill Hollywood starlet. One minute she's accusing Nicolas Cage of stealing a dog, the next she's blasting Liz Taylor's acting skills.

But once upon a glorious decade, Kathleen Turner was box-office gold. Turner, who turns 54 years old today, cranked out hit after hit in the 80s. In all, she appeared in (or, in the case of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?", lent her voice to) more than a dozen flicks during those 10 years.

And while some remain truly classic ("Body Heat," "Romancing the Stone," "War of the Roses"), others leave you gasping for fresh air ("Peggy Sue Got Married," "Switching Channels").

That begs the question: Kathleen Turner -- overrated or underrated in the 80s? Check out her five best flicks and then fire away.

TOP 5 KATHLEEN TURNER ROLES OF THE 80s:

5. ROMANCING THE STONE (1984): "You're the best time I've ever had."

4. THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS (1983): "I get so excited when you get angry. It makes me feel so much closer to the reading of the will."

3. THE WAR OF THE ROSES (1989): "Have you ever made angry love?"

2. PRIZZI'S HONOR (1985): "I can't get over it. What kinda creep wouldn't catch a baby?"

1. BODY HEAT (1981): "You aren't too smart. I like that in a man."

Isabella Rossellini is still creepy

When it comes to actress Isabella Rossellini and her 80s movies, one adjective usually pops out first: Dark.

Think about her three biggest 80s flicks:

WHITE NIGHTS (1985): Ignore the irony that it never gets "dark" in this movie. This sucker is depressing. Communists. Beatings. Binge drinking. And those are the lighter moments! The late Gregory Hines as Rossellini's tap-dancing husband, so despondent with the U.S. that he defects to Russia and back again. (Whoops, hope I didn't give anything away there.)

BLUE VELVET (1986): Still not sure how this movie got made. I can hear the pitch now: "So basically we have Dennis Hopper as a gas-sniffing psycho who rapes Isabella Rossellini and forces her to call him 'Daddy.' Oh, and we'll get Kyle MacLachlan and Laura Dern in sadistic sideplots as well."

COUSINS (1989): Rossellini pulls back her hair into an ultra-tight bun and watches hubby William Petersen sleep with every woman in town before he settles down the empty-headed Sean Young. How could it be darker? Rossellini ends up with Ted Danson.

Her latest project? "Green Porno" -- a series of short films that examine the sex lives of insects. Yeah, I'm at a loss for words too.

Rossellini turns 56 years old today. Here's a special top 5 list just for you, Isabella. No gassing required.

TOP 5 CREEPY ISABELLA ROSSELLINI LINES FROM BLUE VELVET:

5. "I have a part of you with me. You put your disease in me. It helps me. It makes me strong." 

4. "Do you like the way I feel?"

3. "I still can see Blue Velvet through my tears."

2. "I looked for you in my closet tonight."

1. "Hello, baby."

Save room in the Love Shack for me!

Eighties fans love everything in jumbo size: big hair, big wine coolers and big, BIG legends from their decade to headline the summer tour season.

Tonight's True Colors Tour at Clearwater's Ruth Eckerd Hall brings two mighty contenders to town: the B-52s and Cyndi Lauper, who gets the nod as the headliner. But really, should she? Time pop music guru (and Ben Stiller lookalike until he gets a haircut) Sean Daly and I have agreed to wage blog battle over the question...

Who's bigger: The B-52s or Cyndi Lauper. (Naturally, I picked the winning side.)

TOP 3 REASONS THE B-52s SHOULD HEADLINE THE SHOW:

3. THE SEX: Booty-bots! Eroti-bots! Making love in zero gravity! Who could ask for anything more? The B-52s’ funky new "Funplex" is vastly superior — and sexier — than Cyndi’s clunky new "Bring Ya to the Brink."

2. THE CLASSICS: If you crave a "Party Out of Bounds," only our friends from Athens, Ga., can accommodate with "Love Shack," "Planet Claire" and "Rock Lobster."

1. THE PURE MEDICINAL POWER: This just in . . . B-52s music cures arthritis, joint discomfort, back pain and everything thing else caused by sitting through a long summer concert!

Go to Sean's Pop Life blog to show pity for his misguided music tastes, and then feel free to come back here and do the "Rock Lobster" with me. Here comes a bikini whale!

In a League of his own

Philip Oakey sounds like the happiest man on the planet -- and the most humble.

"We were never quite born for the entertainment industry," the longtime frontman of The Human League -- and their sole original member -- told me during a phone chat today. How odd that is to hear from a musician who helped reinvent and lead an entire genre of music during the 80s.

To that end, he says, the fans still come first during live shows. And those who get a chance to catch a rare U.S. tour by The Human League -- part of the 2008 Regeneration Tour -- will hear hit after hit, including "Don't You Want Me," "Open Your Heart," "Fascination" -- and yes, his solo hit "Together in Electric Dreams."

You'll have to wait 'til the weekend to hear the full interview, but here are some highlights.

PHIL LOVES TO TOUR: "I'm one of the unusual people who really likes touring. I would tour for half the year. Compared to the rest of my life, it's actually pretty simple. At least when I'm on tour, I can sorta feel like I've done my job for the day, when I've done a show."

ON THE LEGACY OF THEIR "DARE ALBUM: "I didn't really understand that until last year, I don't think. I've always thought that the album wasn't quite what people thought it was. I tended to think of the run of singles we had as more important. It was only during the [2007 Dare] tour last year that I suddenly got that somehow those 40 minutes of the album meant more than the individual songs. And in a way, that's getting to be a lost art now, because people don't really make albums that all fit together."

EXPECT TO HEAR THE BIG TUNES IN CONCERT: "We mainly stick to hits, I think maybe because we never quite expected to be in a band. We're pretty grateful for people liking what we did. We tailor the shows to what people want to hear -- blatantly so. We just try to make sure the audience enjoys themselves really  -- or at least nod off with a pleasant sound in their ears."

Still thinking of joining us for the Regeneration show in Las Vegas on Aug. 2. E-mail me for details.

State of Shock: The worst duets of the 80s

A ten-margarita hangover. A kindergarten chorus singing "Ice, Ice Baby." A new record by Madonna. When it comes to inflicting pain, all of the above are serious contenders. But those are nothing compared with the unique torture qualities of today's list.

After much soul-searching, advanced calculus and far too many hours spent watching sadistic music collaborations on YouTube, we finally have our official list of the Worst Duets of the 1980s.

Special thanks to all the Stuck in the 80s fans out there who wrote in with suggestions. For the purposes of the list, remakes were eligible -- in fact, those were some of the worst. We all know other painful decisions had to be made, but that's what the list is all about. Enjoy. (Or rather, don't enjoy. Just beware.)

15 MOST PAINFUL DUETS OF THE 1980s:

15. YAH MO BE THERE (1983) - Michael McDonald and James Ingram: [video]

14. UP WHERE WE BELONG (1982) - Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes: [video]

13. THE ARMS OF ORION (1989) - Prince and Sheena Easton: [listen]

12. EBONY AND IVORY (1982) - Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney: [video]

11. TO ALL THE GIRLS I'VE LOVED BEFORE (1984) - Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson: [video]

10. ISLANDS IN THE STREAM (1983) - Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton: [listen]

9. GUILTY (1980) - Barbra Streisand and Barry Gibb: [listen]

8. THE GIRL IS MINE (1982) - Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson:  [video]

7. STATE OF SHOCK (1984-5) - Mick Jagger and Michael Jackson/Tina Turner:  [video]

6. DANCING IN THE STREETS (1985) - David Bowie and Mick Jagger:  [video]

5. DON'T BOX ME IN (1983) - Stan Ridgeway and Stewart Copeland: [video]

4. 'TIL I LOVED YOU (1988) - Don Johnson and Barbra Streisand: [listen]

3. WITH YOU, I'M BORN AGAIN (1980) - Billy Preston and Syreeta: [listen]

2. WHEN THE RAIN BEGINS TO FALL (1984) - Jermaine Jackson and Pia Zadora: [video]

1. BODY NEXT TO BODY (1987) - Falco and Brigitte Nielson: [video] Please, don't click the video click if young children are within earshot. So very, very bad -- it's beyond words. So painful, it makes you want to find every person involved, hunt them down and T.P their houses. Such a crime against humanity that I'm throwing away my "Rocky 4" and "Red Sonja" DVDs. So epically trashy, it must have been conceived in a genetics lab.

OK, which tunes did we miss? Which ones don't deserve to be here?

Monday cure: "Heart Like a Wheel"

While the massive staff of Stuck in the 80s toils with non-80s related chores this Monday morning, please enjoy one of the truly underrated gems by The Human League:

And don't forget, it's not too late to send in suggested questions for Tuesday's interview with lead singer Philip Oakey.

Sunday chat: 80s protest songs

Anyone else miss the days when America was only at war -- albeit a cold one -- with those evil Ruskies? Ah, the good old days. And it reflected in the music biz.

Frankie Goes To Hollywood warned about "Two Tribes." The Dead Kennedys lambasted voodoo economics in "Kill The Poor." Sting, Jackson Browne, Genesis, Bruce Springsteen. Have a cause, make a record, raise the consciousness. It seemed so simple.

These days, politics are just too frustrating to get involved in. Maybe that's why we see the dearth of protest songs. Or maybe today's pop stars are just numb-skulls...

SUNDAY'S CHAT: The topic: What are your favorite protest or political songs of the 80s. As always, we can talk about other stuff, including the ABC podcast and 80s Night at Tropicana Field this coming Saturday.

FRANKIE ... AND FRANKIE ONLY: Click the thumbnail photo to see the full-size publicity shot of my Frankie Goes To Hollywood lip-sync group back in 1985. (Hell yeah, we won!) Can you figure out which one is me?

It's about time, Lionel!

Looks like The Commodores are about to get their skipper back.

Lionel Richie, 58, who left the band in 1982, said this weekend that he and the Commodores will indeed reunite soon for a tour -- perhaps in the next two years.

"We better do it now, or in the next 10 years nobody would care," he told the media before an appearance at Antigua's Romantic Rhythms festival.

The A-B-C's of Martin Fry

Our latest Stuck in the 80s podcast is now online, featuring an interview with ABC's Martin Fry.

New to ABC? Then you'll enjoy this show because it's packed full of clips from the band's biggest hits, including "Look of Love" and "Poison Arrow" but also lesser-known gems like "All of My Heart" and "Ocean Blue."

Plus, you'll be among the first people to hear ABC's brand-new single "For the Very First Time" off the band's upcoming "Traffic" album.

Click here to download the show. Or click here to get all our episodes for free via iTunes.

TICKET GIVEAWAY: More details on getting free tickets to 80s Night at Tropicana Field -- featuring Kool & The Gang and Rubix Cubed -- are in this episode too! Even if you don't score free tickets, come buy a ticket and hang with Sean Daly and me anyway. (And check to see if I've got any "ziplocks" on me.)

This is not my class of '85 reunion photo

No, it's Rubix Cubed, a popular 80s cover band here in Tampa Bay. (Though I'm pretty sure I hit on the Madonna-lookalike at my reunion a couple years ago -- please don't tell the Don Johnson guy) They're popping up and playing gigs all around our area, including outside the St. Pete Times Forum a couple nights ago before The Cure concert.

But the big news is this: Rubix Cubed is playing Tropicana Field on Saturday, June 21, for the Tampa Bay Rays' "80s Night." Click here to listen to some of their music from their official website. (Oh yeah, and Kool & The Gang will play too after the game between the Rays and Astros.)

But if you want to hang with the hardcore 80s fans, you'll have to go to the TBT Lounge above left field. There you'll find Rubix Cubed as well as your buddies Sean Daly and myself. We'll be serving as hosts up there, holding a couple trivia contests, maybe judging a dance competition or two. (I've also entered Sean in a Pudding Pop eating contest.)

Here's the REALLY good news: We have a handful of game tickets to give away free to our local Stuck in the 80s fans. That's right, you can come party with Sean and I (and find how he's really the ladies' man and I'm doomed to spend my life as his wingman.) Just e-mail me at stuckinthe80s@tampabay.com for the tickets. Please, only e-mail if you're really able to use them ... and if you're not ashamed to hang out with me and Sean.

80s movie showdown: Snake vs. Axel

Big choice on TV for Friday night, my fellow 80s couch potatoes. On AMC, it's Escape from New York. Or on Bravo, it's Beverly Hills Cop. Both start at 8 p.m.

Which one to pick? I own them both on DVD, but I'm still a fan of the serendipity of coming across the movies on TV.

Time to battle it out.

LEAD CHARACTERS:
Axel Foley: Eddie Murphy is funny, foul-mouthed and ... well, I can think of any other F words that apply here. Still, I like Eddie more in "48 Hours" and "Coming to America."
Snake Pliskin: Kurt Russell's best 80s role? I'm thinking it is.
Advantage: "Call me Snake."

THE PLOT:
New York is a prison: Brilliant. Too bad it's set in 1997. By then, the city was cleaned up.
Eddie's a cop in Beverly Hills: "Is this the man who ... wrecked the buffet at the Harrow Club?" Hell yeah.
Advantage: "The super cop bit ... was working."

SUPPORTING CAST:
Beverly Hills: John Ashton and Judge Reinhold both know they eat too much red meat.
New York: Ernest Borgnine, Donald Pleasence, Isaac Hayes, Harry Dean Stanton.
Advantage: "A-No. 1! The Duke of New York City!"

THE LINES:
Beverly Hills: "We're not going to fall for the banana in the tailpipe."
New York: "Call me Plisskin."
Advantage: "I don't smoke Lucky Strikes. I smoke King-Sized Kents!"

So it's a wash. What did you expect? Just Tivo one and watch it later.

Cinderella cancels tour

Cinderella has canceled its U.S. tour with Warrant and Lynch Mob, including a July 25 date at the St. Pete Times Forum.

"Cinderella's Tom Keifer's left vocal cord has hemorrhaged, thereby making it impossible for him to sing in the immediate future," Cinderella's management said today in a statement sent to promoters. The accident happened during tour rehearsals on Wednesday, and doctors have said it could be three weeks before they can determine the proper treatment.

All buyers who hold tickets for the July 25 show can bring their tickets to the original point of purchase for a full refund, according to the St. Pete Times Forum.

[AP photo]

Feeling fascinated about Philip Oakey?

If there were any justice in the electronica ethereal, Philip Oakey would still be selling millions of records and packing arenas while today's pop misfits and dance-beat impostors were scrounging for matches and bumming Red Bulls off each other in seedy South Beach nightclubs.

Still, I'm betting the eclectic frontman of The Human League wakes up each day with a smile. Oakey remains the only full-time member of the 80s synth-gods since the band's formation back in Sheffield, England, in 1977. And with nine studio albums, eight top 10 singles in the U.K. and record sales of about 20-million, the Human League's vaunted place in music history is secure and deserved.

Next Tuesday, Oakey is the special guest on the Stuck in the 80s podcast, and I'm literally counting down the days and hours. We'll talk about The Human League's headlining status is this summer's Regeneration Tour and you KNOW I'm asking whether his solo hit, "Together in Electric Dreams," will make the set list.

As always, drop me a comment with your suggested questions for Philip Oakey. This is a rare opportunity, and we all should get a say on what we ask him.