Anyone know how to fly a plane?
Today's the big travel day to Las Vegas for a group of brave (read: "foolish") Stuck in the 80s fans who are congregating (read: "drinking then passing out") in Sin City for the Morris Day and The Time show and the Regeneration Tour.
It's probably a bad time to confess that ever since seeing all the "Airport" disaster movies of the '70s, I'm a wee bit anxious about flying. But I figure as long as I'm not flying Trans Global airlines and the captain doesn't look like Jack Lemmon, Dean Martin or George Kennedy, I should be OK.
But then there's 1980's "Airplane," and my confidence drips away. What mystic force caused me to watch this movie 4 hours before heading to the airport is anyone's guess. But here are the lines from the movie that scare me most.
TOP 5 FLYER-UNFRIENDLY LINES FROM AIRPLANE:
5. "I've got to concentrate... concentrate... concentrate... Hello?... hello... hello... Echo... echo... echo... Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota..."
4. "The life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner."
3. "I know but this guy has no flying experience at all. He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... yes, birds too."
2. "They bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash."
1. "There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"
Talk to you soon from Vegas!
Relive the music, movies and culture of the greatest decade ever with Times online editor Steve Spears. A teen during the decade, Steve is obsessed with everything from Duran Duran to Journey, John Hughes to John Cusack, and parachute pants to Reaganomics.
E-mail Steve Spears:
Can't think of any spot on a plane big enough for both Spearsy and partner, no matter how closely linked they are!
Posted by: | August 02, 2008 at 01:38 PM
"Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em. Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em. Cold got to be."
Posted by: Blaine | August 02, 2008 at 01:14 AM
Haha! I guess i did,Riss!I guess i did.
Posted by: Miguel | August 01, 2008 at 11:53 PM
hehe, Me thinks you understood it quite well.
Posted by: Marissa | August 01, 2008 at 11:45 PM
Does anyone know if Spearsy flew on 1st class or coach?
Mile high club,Riss.If i understood it well,funny.
Posted by: Miguel | August 01, 2008 at 10:42 PM
Did Steve's plane really go down? I mean, why else would we have not have had a Vegas update by now?
Posted by: | August 01, 2008 at 10:36 PM
See, while everyone else is in Vegas, we are having our own game of No-limit Hold 'em!
Actually, last night was the first night in a while i didn't dream of you. Go figure.
Posted by: Douglas Arthur | August 01, 2008 at 02:04 PM
Douglas, were you dreaming about me? ... again?
Posted by: Marissa | August 01, 2008 at 11:45 AM
Marissa, you saucy minx, that is not what you told me last night!
Posted by: Douglas Arthur | August 01, 2008 at 11:00 AM
Have a great time in Vegas.
Wish I could be there!
Posted by: Cathy | August 01, 2008 at 04:29 AM
There's a problem in the cockpit. The cockpit, what is it?
It's that little space up front where the pilots sit. But that's not important right now!
Airplane is one of the best stupid movies ever!
Posted by: SM | July 31, 2008 at 11:46 PM
I don't know about the rest of you, but when I think of Spearsy on a plane, I think mile high club.
Posted by: Marissa | July 31, 2008 at 09:24 PM
Remember that the white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Hope everyone has a fun and safe trip, and I hope this becomes an annual event, so yours truly can join the pilgrimmage sometime.
P.S. Do you speak jive?
Posted by: Blaine | July 31, 2008 at 05:45 PM
At least Mr. Spears didn't watch "Snakes on a Plane".......
Posted by: Al | July 31, 2008 at 05:11 PM
"What's it look like, Johnny?
Well, it's big, and white ... It looks like a giant Tylenol!"
"How about some more coffee, Johnny?
No, thanks!"
"I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."
Enjoy vegas and the shows....
Posted by: Brett | July 31, 2008 at 04:09 PM
Do you like movies about gladiators?
Posted by: Michelle | July 31, 2008 at 02:35 PM
"I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."
Posted by: Bassnote | July 31, 2008 at 02:24 PM
Doctor, can you give the Court your impression of Mr. Striker?
I'm sorry, I don't do impressions, my training is in psychiatry.
Posted by: Matt | July 31, 2008 at 01:44 PM
Maybe on the plane you'll sit next to a well-dressed boy reading a copy of "Blogger's Life.''
Posted by: Eric62 | July 31, 2008 at 01:34 PM
Good Lord, why in the world would you watch any airplane related movie directly before boarding a plane? Madness.
I hope you have an uneventful and turbulance free flight, followed by a very eventful and turbulent (in a good way) weekend in Vegas.
(I haven't flown in 12 years, but this post has reawakened all my airplane anxiety!)
Posted by: Sherrie | July 31, 2008 at 12:50 PM
Have a safe flight! Check my old digs http://www.lvrj.com/neon/ for entertainment tips.
Posted by: Michelle | July 31, 2008 at 12:26 PM
Hey Spearsy, the second message crashed my iPhone!
Posted by: Former Producer Dave | July 31, 2008 at 12:25 PM