Ione Skye and Spearsy forever
Dearest Ione,
I can't believe it's been a year since my last birthday letter to you. And don't worry -- I don't take that nasty "warning" from your lawyer personally. (I'll never "cease and desist" my love for you!)
I just watched your epic (i.e. "naked") performance over the weekend in "The Rachel Papers," the 1989 gem that first made me fall in love with you. Oh, I know everyone else prefers you in "Say Anything," but I still can't picture you with John Cusack without getting incredibly jealous. For some reason, Dexter Fletcher doesn't intimidate me as much.
It seems like forever since I've seen you on the big screen. That's why I'm so happy to hear you just completed production on "My Father's Will," co-starring Britleigh Keiffer and Victor Alfieri. Finally, I can stop watching your all-too-brief appearances in "Fever Pitch" and "Arrested Development!"
I hope you have a great time celebrating your 37th birthday today. I hope you enjoy the "Stuck in the 80s" thong that I included. -- Love, Spearsy.
(PS - Hope you don't mind that I wrote on the back with magic marker, "If you can read this, then get the hell away from my lust object, Cusack!")
TOP 5 LINES FROM 'SAY ANYTHING' THAT I WANT TO HEAR FROM IONE SKYE:
5. "Nobody thinks it will work, do they?"
4. "We shared the most intimate thing two people can share."
3. "I just left home... I need you."
2. "Everything else means nothing to me. If I hurt you again, I'll die."
1. "I love you... please. I love you."
Relive the music, movies and culture of the greatest decade ever with Times online editor Steve Spears. A teen during the decade, Steve is obsessed with everything from Duran Duran to Journey, John Hughes to John Cusack, and parachute pants to Reaganomics.
E-mail Steve Spears:
Jeff, oh ye of little faith.
Posted by: Vegasgirlfriend | September 04, 2008 at 11:31 PM
VGF,
Well, if this little arrangement does get some legs, don't forget to register at Staples.
Beet Boy needs his pen.
Posted by: Jeff in Cuba | September 04, 2008 at 11:24 PM
How long I am in this for all depends on Spears - I serve at his pleasure, so to speak.
I would have to leave behind my beloved Midwest, which will be covered with snow before too long, and go to Florida, home of hurricanes, salty water and numerous deadly animals.
Posted by: Vegasgirlfriend | September 04, 2008 at 10:50 PM
VGF,
I'm confused. Does "no pens" mean you're in it for the long haul,...
...or are you just going to stiff the Fearless Leader when the final bell rings?
Posted by: Jeff in Cuba | September 04, 2008 at 10:44 PM
You will get no pens from me sir.
Posted by: Vegasgirlfriend | September 04, 2008 at 09:18 PM
Been there. Done that. Bought the tshirt. Literally. I wear it from time to time. It really draws attention. It's hard to overlook the big, giant STUCK on my chest.
Posted by: Marissa | September 04, 2008 at 07:38 PM
Oh, I fully expect to get a pen sooner or later. It's my lot to suffer in the ways of romance and love.
Posted by: Spears | September 04, 2008 at 02:38 PM
So you gave up on Kristy McNicol finally, eh?
Posted by: Michelle | September 04, 2008 at 02:28 PM
Careful, Steve. You don't want to give her your heart, for her to just give you a pen.
Posted by: Amanda | September 04, 2008 at 02:21 PM
Wow,nice toppic.I`m a fan of the commando thing (and don`t start with european clichés),although sometimes it`s impossible.I`m with Steve,boxers are all right,but not with your face in them dude!
Ione Skye,not the biggest fan,sorry!I don`t see the appeal,but happy birthday anyway!
Posted by: Miguel | September 04, 2008 at 02:12 PM
Perhaps I should change my imeem profile song to Sharp Dressed Man!
Posted by: John Hays | September 04, 2008 at 01:13 PM
geez, guys. you do realize the rest of us are watching this discussion unfold, right? (no pun intended)
i shall never look at my imeem friends list the same way again...
Posted by: Tonianne | September 04, 2008 at 01:05 PM
Reminds me of another Ahnold party quote, from a personal favorite of mine that just squeeked outside of being an 80's flick:
"See you at the pahty, Richter!"
Posted by: John Hays | September 04, 2008 at 01:00 PM
It's all good, John. I just can't resist a good Ahnuld quote. Boxer briefs it is in this household.
Posted by: Douglas Arthur | September 04, 2008 at 12:35 PM
I'm sticking with boxers myself. I believe we do offer those with our logo on them:
http://www.cafepress.com/80spodcast.91574858
Posted by: Spears | September 04, 2008 at 12:32 PM
This is getting into the TMI area I'm sure, but boxer briefs are where it's at. The support of briefs with the cover and style of boxers! No way in hell I want Spears or Sean's face on them, though.
Posted by: John Hays | September 04, 2008 at 12:12 PM
Better to put your faces on Boxers, because we all know that only women buy them for their men. No self respected man buys boxers. Its either tighty whities for support or paying tribute to our troops and going Commando ("C'mon Bennett, let's pahty!")
Posted by: Douglas Arthur | September 04, 2008 at 12:04 PM
Love ya Steve, but yours OR Sean's face is the LAST thing I want to see when I'm seeing a woman's thong.
Posted by: John Hays | September 04, 2008 at 12:01 PM
I'm thinking of having some thongs made up with a photo of either Sean or myself on the front -- just to see which sells better.
Posted by: Spears | September 04, 2008 at 11:55 AM
All I have to say is, that must be one damn small magic marker.
Posted by: John Hays | September 04, 2008 at 11:40 AM
Al,
For the record, I'm uniformly snarky throughout the quadrennial election cycle. It's just that there's more to be snarky about these days.
For example, did you see the look on the face of Bristol Palin's shotgun fiance during Sarah's speech last night? It's one thing to have a problematic mother-in-law, but quite another to have one publicly acknowledged as "The Barracuda".
Posted by: Jeff in Cuba | September 04, 2008 at 11:38 AM
Is it just me or everyone becoming more snarky as the American election time nears?
Posted by: Al | September 04, 2008 at 11:19 AM
Haha, Snack Cake, you're slaying me early here. Nice work.
Posted by: Al | September 04, 2008 at 11:17 AM
Don't even give me any guff, evil Snack Cake Aisle. You know darn well that we haven't spoken since the Great Hurricane Food Shortage of 1985.
Posted by: Spears | September 04, 2008 at 11:01 AM
That's funny, I always get the cold sweats when Spears walks by...
Posted by: The Snack Cake Aisle | September 04, 2008 at 10:39 AM
But she is so cute and tasty...
Posted by: Douglas Arthur | September 04, 2008 at 10:34 AM
I loathe Little Debbie. I was force-fed those dreaded oatmeal pies as a kid (my dad loved them).
To this day, I get the cold sweats when I pass the snack-cake aisle in the supermarket.
Which is a whole different kind of sweat than I normally have when walking through any large store.
Posted by: Spears | September 04, 2008 at 10:13 AM
that would be "her"...and i think I forgot a comma in there somewhere, too!
Posted by: Douglas Arthur | September 04, 2008 at 10:01 AM
Ione Skye?
Spearsie, I thought your true love of the 80's was Little Debbie snack cakes? I didn't get to know her until the latter stages of the 90's, but by then she was a used husky shell of heer old self...
Posted by: Douglas Arthur | September 04, 2008 at 10:00 AM
Speaking of Evil, Spearsie...is it too late to lobby for a Bruce Campbell Interview to go along with an Evil Dead Podcast for Halloween??
Groovy.
Posted by: Douglas Arthur | September 04, 2008 at 09:58 AM
Keep your eyes open, Beet Boy.
You may find Cusack and his boom box camped out under VGF's window!
Posted by: Jeff in Cuba | September 04, 2008 at 09:54 AM
Yes, that dress is VERY similar. Though given a choice, I'd still pick you to go to the Regeneration Show with me every time.
(You are "evil" but in a very, very good way.)
Posted by: Spears | September 04, 2008 at 09:05 AM
Steve's love for Ione is like my love for John Taylor - it stretches across time and will never die.
Steve - isn't that white dress in the picture awfully similar to the black one I wore to Regeneration? I must be Ione's evil doppelganger.
Posted by: Vegasgirlfriend | September 04, 2008 at 08:53 AM