Hail to our first '80s commander-in-chief

Imagine it now. An inaugural ball featuring white jackets, pink bow ties and a killer live band with roughly the same lineup as Band Aid.

That's what we can have now that the '80s Nation has infiltrated the Nation-at-Large. Congratulations, Barack Obama, Columbia University Class of 1983. Here are some of the executive orders I'm hoping are just months away.

RECORDING INDUSTRY REFORM: Frankie Goes To Hollywood ordered to reunite and headline the Regeneration Tour 2009 beginning with gala opening night on Aug. 1 in Las Vegas. (The Police ordered to never reunite again.)

TREATMENT OF DOMESTIC HOSTILES: Madonna has U.S. citizenship revoked. (Guy Ritchie extended offer to become naturalized American and invitation to throw out first pitch at 2009 World Series.)

SECRET SERVICE OVERHAUL: Instead of dark suits and sunglasses, new daily uniform changed to parachute pants, checkerboard T-shirts and feathered hair. Government-issued Swatches are a must too.

ECONOMIC STIMULUS ACT: Federal funding for roller-skating rinks for every metro area. All couple skates to include REO's Keep On Loving You, Queen's One Year of Love and Journey's Faithfully.

A NEW SEVENTH-INNING STRETCH SONG: Can we gently retire the playing of God Bless America during baseball games? I think the '80s Nation deserves something a little more secular and upbeat. Ladies and gentlemen, please stretch your legs and sing along to this!

(Sorry, couldn't help it.) What other '80s acts are needed now that our generation has control of the White House for the first time?

[AP photo]

Comments

[Dan]

David Bowie for Secretary of Fashion!

[Mary]

Every Supreme Court Justice would have to have REALLY, REALLY BIG hair! And, every female director of anything would have to wear Gloria Vanderbilt jeans on casual Fridays and the males would have to wear parachute pants! Born in the USA for 7th inning stretch song :-)

Thanks for the memories!

[Roy, UK]

If "The 'A' Team" are sent to Iraq, the we need to send MacGyver out to Afghanistan armed with a pen knife, a stick of gum and something reflective...

[Walter Cox]

I know this is a stretch, but since Mr. T is a national treasure, we could make him Secretary of Pity, because we are all his fools.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Troops withdrawn from Iraq and replaced by "The 'A' Team".

[KLAUS NOMI FAN CLUB]

O.M.G!!!

Everybody, take a moment out to remember the ULTIMA-SUPREMA-DELUXA days in New York with Klaus Nomi.

[Marissa]

"Everybody Wants To Rule The World" is played rather than "Hail to the Chief"

[Eric S]

I would never want Frankie Goes to Hollywood reuniting. I hated hated hated that Relax song. I wanted to punch anyone in high school who wore those stupid shirts.

Roller rinks brings back some fond memories. Those were the salad days. More innocent days.

I do like the idea of a college football playoff system that Barack mentioned on Monday night football. It is time.

Secretary of Awesome was funny. Good one. Could have a Secretary of Rad as well.

I would want Men at Work get back together. And the prez force Iron Maiden to actually hit Florida on a tour stop.

[Greg Williams]

Obama's just a glorified used-car salesman. All talk and not an ounce of consistency. He's good at telling you what you want to hear but won't commit one way or the other. Just wait.

As for the 80s, one word. Reagan. Best President ever.

[surfdog]

WAAA HOOO! here is to a Prez that will speak to Americans like Adults!

And only 74 days 23 hours 55 min. to go! hey but who's counting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFaZyHxQGYQ&feature=related

[Walter Cox]

This is the 80s. You may only talk about Reagan and Bush 41's popular years.

[Douglas Arthur]

I have absolutely no doubt that Bush loves this country, but given the state this country is in, I believe he has earned all the scorn he got.

[crockett]

Executive order 1989.
The President commands all '80s concerts be opened by Rubix Cubed.

And they have to party with the Cubed ones after the show.

by federal mandate!

I WANT MY RC3!!!

[Michelle]

John, that's a great job for the FCC :)

[John Hays]

MTV must actually play music videos.

[Michelle]

Enforce a dress code of flipped-up collars on polo shirts, no socks with Docksiders, and big-@ss lenses on your glasses.

[Ray]

Dr. Dim, I totally agree with your comments regarding the hatred and vitriol for the past eight years.

It's time to move forward and put that kind of useless rhetoric behind us.

Today I have heard Obama compared with two 80s Presidents, Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan. Which Obama will we get?
As Asia says, only time will tell.

[Mark in East Texas]

Solaris, I just found a 1985 Sting ticket stub: $15.40 with a $1.35 Ticketmaster charge. These days $15.40 would be only cover the Ticketmaster charge.

[Blaine]

Just read where Russian Prez Medvedev said they're planning on deploying missiles near Poland. Maybe we can get another Cold War going; that would be "very '80s."

[solaris]

Ooh, Bassnote, that's my favorite! I think I paid 15 bucks to see Duran Duran in 1984--gotta go home and check the stub!

[Bassnote]

Executive order that all concert tickets go back to 1984 prices, and Ticketmaster can charge no more than a 50¢ convenience charge per ticket.

[solaris]

Let us not forget, Dr. Dim, that we were attacked while Bush was in office. So your "argument" makes no sense, and this is not the place for it, anyway.

[Luvswatch]

Hey Spears,that is NOT a swatch picture. I know you can do better than that! If you need one, I can provide a real one or 500 of them....

[Blaine]

P.S. Spears/Daly in '12.

[Blaine]

Good one, Roy. And I can't believe I was Rick-rolled by our main man Spears.

Do we have any reason to think that Obama is an '80s guy, though, other than being young during the most rad of decades? I have a lot of friends and acquaintances who lived, partied, etc. with me through the '80s, but I don't really consider too many to be true '80s people like us and certainly don't see Barry holding John Hughes movie marathons in the White House.

[Walter Cox]

I appreciate that everybody likes my suggestion, but I think Roy has trumped me.

[John D]

Some good suggestions there. With the exception of the seventh-inning stretch song. Rick Astley? Tell me you're kidding. How about Van Halen's "Jump?" Yeah, that'd work.

[Roy, UK]

Just had the best mental image of a victorious Obama and the victory speech you never got to hear:

"Campaign workers and supporters everywhere...Hey, everybody! We're all gonna get laid!" (Cue "I'm Alright")

[chase]

Jeff Spicoli for Secretary of Awesome!

[Michelle]

Re-ignite the economy by promoting the manufacturing of acid-washed jeans, Aqua Net, fringed jackets and cassette tapes.

[Dr. Dim]

Please, please, please stop the singing of 'God Bless America' during seventh inning stretch. I never really liked it being sung from the beginning. Baseball has an anthem, it doesn't need another one. (Although the Rick Astley tune would be interesting)

Going to get a little political now...

I can't say that I'm pleased with the outcome of the presidential election. I am pleased and proud that our country, once again, shows the world that we can peacefully transfer power.

President-elect Obama has a tough road ahead. He's going to be facing a lot of daunting challenges. I'm pretty certain that I won't be thrilled with his solutions, but I will promise one thing:

He's OUR next president and I won't hate him.

I think the hatred and vitriol hurled at President Bush everyday for nearly eight years (he was given a little break after 9/11) is appalling. It's childish, shameful and mean-spirited.

I have not always agreed with the actions and policies of George W. Bush, but I know this to be certain: he loves this country. Everything he has done he has done because he believed it was best for our country, whether we all agreed with him or not.

If you can't give President Bush credit for anything, I ask you to take off the blinders and give him this...

By my count, it's been seven years, one month and 25 days since America has been attacked on her soil. NO ONE thought on 9/12/01 that we wouldn't have been attacked in the next year let alone seven plus!

The lion's share of credit is due to the American servicemen and women and their leaders, number one of whom is President Bush.

I know President Obama loves this country, too. And that he will act in a way he thinks is best for America. I probably won't like much of it (he's a little too socialist for my tastes), but I won't hate him.

I'll get off my soapbox now and I hope I haven't stirred up too much of a hornet's nest here.

[Miguel]

Congats to Obama from Portugal!

Madonna having her US citizenship revoked has a problem.She would have to become European.No Sir,we don`t need that.You have to keep her mates.

[Spears]

Secretary of Awesome, to be held by Martha Quinn, who gets to wears tight jeans and a Bon Jovi babydoll t-shirt to all Cabinet meetings.

Nicely conceived, Walter.

[Walter Cox]

Whoah, I just got Rickrolled by Spearsy. Nicely done, sir.

I would also suggest that the new president create a new cabinet position: Secretary of Awesome