Poking out those 'Bette Davis Eyes'

There's something truly evil about the song Bette Davis Eyes. The plodding melody maybe? The silly lyrics -- "Off your feet with the crumbs she throws you''? Maybe it's as simple as that monotonous electronic backbeat between verses.

Kim Carnes, you and your Marlboro-stained voice-box owe the '80s nation a profound apology for subjecting us to this ear-worm. (Click here to see the video.)

In any case, I can guarantee you that this little sonic dropping will be our list of the Top 10 Horrible Hits of 1981 podcast, which Sean Daly and I are recording later today.

What else should make the list? Check out a list of the Top 100 hits of the year by clicking here and let us know!

IN THE MEANTIME: Jeff in Cuba offers his latest rant on the hits of '81. Click here to listen.

Comments

[Tara]

Sorry Steve. Why make fun of a great song? The melody and rustic voice combined make a wonderful concoction. I am a child of the 80's, and this one should've been in my top 3 growing up!

[Matt]

I hate the song betty davis eyes. The woman..sounds like a retarded cow

[Mr. Paul]

Great podcast! You're off your rockers, though... you pretty much named every song from 1981 I have on 45. Yes, Jeff in Cuba, that includes "Stars on 45" as well. In fact, the brilliance of Jaap (pronounced "Yop" BTW) Eggermont caused me to create my own -- more complete -- Beatles medley with my turntable, vinyl records and drive belt tape deck (also a less successful as-if-it-wasn't-long-enough-already "Extended Version" of "Hey Jude").

These songs, deemed "horrible" bring about a hopeless sentimentality, which may explain where I'm at in my life >. Where was I? Oh yeah, all was made right when #1 on the list was reached. I DIDN'T own this single -- my sister did -- and that's probably why we have a forced, awkward relationship to this day that even a shared obsession with Duran Duran later on could not shake. Poke out those "Bette David Eyes" indeed.

Some songs from that year I thought were great haven't aged well (Stevie Wonder's "Master Blaster" for example) but there are some that deserve inclusion on the list. C'mon, when was the last time you heard, sang, or even pondered "De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da" by The Police? That's all I want to say to you. (Okay, I'm a hypocrite because I'm bellowing "Giddy up, oom poppa-omm poppa, mow-mow" as I type this.)

Why I'd rather spin my "Stars on Long Play" records, and list to Hooked on Classics, Jive Bunny & The Mastermixers, or M|A|R|R|S. Now, there's an idea for a podcast (royalty-free)... "Groups from the '80s who had huge hits with medleys."

Thanks again for a great show. Get better Spearsy.

[sparky]

Hey thanks for the shout out in the Rant, Jeff. However in 1981 I wasn't doing too much Thermo since I was only 12.

[Mick]

Well I in my opinion I like all the the songs everbody socalled like the 80's hates. Also I love Air Supply because they got me threw tough times in 81.

[David P]

Sean's story about the supermarket dwarf belting out "Urgent" is the stuff of nightmares. I'm hoping that was the fish burrito talking.

[Mike in Austin]

I hate no 80's songs..

can you dig it?

CAN YOU DIG IT???

[Marissa]

I'm just laughing reading the comments.

For some odd reason, "Betty Davis Eyes" reminds me of laying out in the sun in my backyard. I think I must have received a new radio for my birthday and that song was played a lot. Who knows. My memories are quite strange. I do remember thinking the lyrics made no sense. And I was certain Rod Stewart was using the pseudonym KIM CARNES.

[CHAD]

as bad as elvira is, it has a certain charm to it. i just remember singing the omm pappa mow mow part when i was a wee bit lad.

[CHAD]

i'll probably be in the minority here, but i like a good bit of those tunes. at the time, i was working in a barber shop, as the shoe shine boy. every weekend, i would have to clean the entire place. i always tended to do it at the same time. so every week i would tune the radio to casey's top 40. so a lot of these songs i have some sort of affection for. the ones i don't know, well i couldn't say either way. some i might list are: endless love, stars on 45 medley, boy from nyc, and maybe the diana ross and andy gibb tune.

[Howard Troxler]

Giddy up omm poppa omm poppa mow mow.

[Greg L]

Usually you're right on the money, Steve, but gotta disagree with you on Bette Davis Eyes... I actually like it. One of the first tunes to go on my iPod!

My picks to make the list:
Stars on 45 Medley
Guilty - actually, all Streisand
Stop Draggin' My Heart (*ducks* .. I just don't like it!)
The Stroke

There's probably a ton more that I've missed that truly should be on there, but as I was born in '74, I only really remember the ones that I like as opposed to the ones I don't.

[Bassnote]

Any way you can post the podcast by 5:00pm tonight (central time)? If not I'll have to wait until Sunday night to hear it (yeah, I know, boo hoo).

[Bassnote]

Holy crud, where do I begin? As others stated, Streisand must not be spared. Please, her contributions must die a horrible, bloody death. Juice Newton and Abba must not be spared either. I know throwing Abba on the fire will draw angry responses, but they were a little too heavy on the cheese. the Gino Vannelli tune has the wrong title on the list (it's "Living Inside Myself"), but it should be sacrificed all the same. I will admit to liking some songs by Billy Squire, but "The Stroke" is not one of them. After the "Rock Me Tonight" video, I don't want to know about Billy's bedroom activities. John Schneider needs a mention just because Bo Duke (or was he Luke) did not deserve a music career, especially when he's covering Elvis. Last on my list is the gay anthem "I'm Coming Out" by Diana Ross. I hate this song with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. I hate the fact that I can't watch a sporting event without the chance of hearing this piece of crap.

[Michelle]

I can't stand "Stop Draggin My Heart Around" (I know THAT will get people going).
I even like Barry Manilow and I don't like "I Made It through the Rain."

[Miguel]

Endless Love by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie.Streisand must be there obviously.

[Eric S]

I actually like the Bette Davis song. Big fan of Neil Diamond, but I never did like America. Just hate that song. Agree with others that Streisand has to always be on the worst list. Used to really hate Air Supply, but with advancing age I am coming around to them some. Most of their songs do sound the same though with love almost always in the title.

Poor John Lennon. Could have been quite a comeback for him.

It is interesting that I had heard of almost all of the songs on the top 100 list. If you give me the top 100 list from last year, I probably would have heard of 10 of them. Thank god that rap wasn't popular in '81.

[Walter Cox]

For all you ORB haters, I just have one thing to say:
Oom-bop-a-mow-mow

[chase]

If Elvira isn't on the list, I'm going to send your private email addresses to every viagra and natural male enhancement spammer on the planet ... probably your home addresses as well.

It is a vile abomination, a crime against music, and it must die.

Is Elvira a woman or a horse?

[Steph]

Hate, hate, HATE the Winwood "See a Chance." Never liked it EVAH.

[Brad]

Do not spare Streisand either the bile of your stomach nor the acid of your tongue, for she embodies all that is craptacular.

[Angie]

Ya know...I really used to like you guys. I had to skip right over the worst of list because having one horrid song in my head with no chance of changing at the moment it is good enough!

[Walter Cox]

Gibb, Streisand, and Clif Richard make the perfect crapfecta for the year.

[Jeff in Cuba]

After a cursory glance, it looks to me like 1981 has the decade's best crop of crappy tunes.

Good luck fitting them all into one podcast.

[Ian]

Definitely the Air Supply tunes and Andy Gibb. Actually, I don't see many songs on this list that I like. Hey Nineteen (Steely Dan) is most definitely the best (IMHO).

[Dr. Dim]

Geez, there were so many pop songs I hated in the 80's.

Let's see, there was...

-Electric Avenue - Eddy Grant
-Paradise City - Gun n Roses
-Pass the Dutchie - Musical Youth
-The Flame - Cheap Trick (I love Cheap Trick, but I hated this song.)
-Dude (Looks Like A Lady) - Aerosmith
-Parents Just Don't Understand - DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince
-Take On Me - A-ha (I know this will ruffle some feathers, but I hate the song.)
-Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin
-Born In the USA - Bruce Springsteen
-Glory Days - Bruce Springsteen
-Dancing In the Dark - Bruce Springsteen (Actually, I hated anything I heard off that album with the exception of I'm on Fire.)
-(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party) - The Beastie Boys
-Eye of the Tiger - Survivor

This will no doubt upset Sean, but I hated any song by any 80's hair band. All of them sucked! The most formulaic, boring musical form ever produced. There I said it.

I'd better quit now. I think I may have ticked off enough people.

I was into much different music in the 80's. I didn't care much for the mainstream sounds. I have mellowed a bit and now kinda like some of it, however I still hate the songs listed above.