Top 10 new releases of 2008

With 2009 nearly here, state law dictates I can wait no longer to reveal any Best of 2008 lists. And looking back on this year, we had a lot of things worth celebrating tonight -- mainly the new music from our favorite '80s acts.

I'd be shocked if 2009 brought as many good new discs from bands we've worshiped for nearly 30 years now. Are you listening, Bono and Thomas Dolby? Please consider that a formal challenge.

So here are my top 10 favorite new discs from '80s acts released in 2008. I've heard each of these start to finish, but see if you can guess which one CD I gave to music critic Sean Daly and said I never wanted to hear again.

TOP 10 NEW RELEASES OF 2008:

10. BLACK ICE (AC/DC): Those hard-rocking Aussies pride themselves on every album sounding the same. Still, they could have at least picked a better album of theirs to parody. But hard-core fans are happy, and that means something too. (Read review)

9. LIVE AT SHEA STADIUM (The Clash): This would be a top-five contender, except it's basically just an unreleased concert CD from the early '80s. Still, it's brilliant in nearly every way. Just avoid Rock the Casbah. (Read review)

8. SONGS FROM THE SPARKLE LOUNGE (Def Leppard): Old school, baby. O-L-D school. And we dig that about these guys. Please break out the Union Jack T-shirts on the next tour!

7. CHINESE DEMOCRACY (Guns N' Roses): The album everyone wanted to hate, but can't. It's better than expected, but not as good as it should be. (Read review)

6. VENUS IN OVERDRIVE (Rick Springfield): Rick takes his time on new releases and doesn't over-think the lyrics and melodies. That's right ... KISS (Keep it simple, Springfield). And it pays off big for him again on this completely likable album. (Read review)

5. TRAFFIC (ABC): Martin Fry considers himself an elder statesman of pop. But anyone who bought this album or caught them this summer on the Regeneration Tour is ready to lobby to land him a better job title. Prime Minister of the New Romantics maybe? (Hear interview)

4. FUNPLEX (The B-52's): All the time away from the recording studio didn't cause our favorite Athenians to lose their libidos when it comes to writing sexy, playful dance tracks. And give them credit for inventing my favorite word of 2008: Booty-bots! (Read review)

3. ACCELERATE (R.E.M.): Finally an album by R.E.M. (our second-fave group from Athens, Ga.) that we're not ashamed to add to our CD libraries. Crank it for Supernatural Superserious. (Read review)

2. REVELATION (Journey): What more can be said about new singer Arnel Pineda? After all these years, his face and vocals resurrected the Journey franchise. (Read review)

1. 4:13 DREAM (The Cure): A surprise pick for No. 1, but Robert Smith and gang turned out an album that rivals any in their deep collection. Lyrically poignant, musically breathtaking and emotionally nourishing. (Read review)

I'm leaving out: The Greatest Songs of the Eighties (Barry Manilow), Phoenix (Asia), Hole in the Sun (Night Ranger), Twentyfive (George Michael), Bring Ya To The Brink (Cyndi Lauper), Hard Candy (Madonna).

Chariots of Fire: Cause or cure of insomnia?

When the Stuck in the '80s krewe takes their annual holiday sabbaticals, we tend to screw up our internal clocks (and internal organs) big time. Case in point: I was wolfing down spinach and mushroom pizza and bourbon yesterday at 11 a.m., but still up til 3 a.m. this morning unable to sleep because my all-time favorite movie about English Olympians competing against Americans in Paris was on TV.

I know. Right now, you're asking: WHICH movie about English Olympians in Paris? (The one with Chevy Chase as the wisecracking shot-putting Lord Sussex and Andrew McCarthy as the mopey sprinting prodigy The Earl of Backshires? No!) It's 1981's Chariots of Fire, and .... no, wait! Don't click over to Sean Daly's blog. I'm here to defend one of the '80s best period pieces. (Watch the trailer and feel the flow.)

TOP 5 REASONS TO GIVE 'CHARIOTS OF FIRE' ANOTHER CHANCE:

5. IT REALLY HAPPENED: Yeah, it's a true story about English sprinter Harold Abrahams (Ben Cross) and "The Flying Scotsman'' Eric Liddell (Ian Charleson) and their gold medal efforts at the 1924 Summer Olympics held in Paris.

4. IT WAS THEIR HIGH-WATER MARKS: Cross would go on to decent roles in Steal the Sky (1988) and Dark Shadows (1990). He'll also play Sarek in the new Star Trek movie. Charleson was good in Ghandi and maybe even memorable in Oxford Blues (a feat in itself). Sadly, he died in 1990 (ironically while performing Hamlet on stage).

3. IT WON A TON OF AWARDS: It was nominated for seven Oscars, winning four including Best Picture and Best Original Score (that classic ditty by Vangelis). What flicks did it best for the top prize? Try Raiders of the Lost Ark, Reds, On Golden Pond and Atlantic City.

2. IT HAS A TON OF BEEFCAKE: "Ben Cross is so freakin' hot," gushed Vegas Girlfriend when I mentioned why I came to bed so late last night. She can't remember a thing about the plot. But Ben, his sexy accent and brooding looks? It's like Spanish Fly to her.

1. IT HAS KILLER QUOTES: I'm a movie quote junkie, and Chariots of Fire is like chocolate-covered crack to quote junkies. My favorite: "I'm forever in pursuit and I don't even know what I am chasing."

I hear you, Harold. I hear you.

Vacation mania at Stuck in the '80s

Hey gang, it's vacation time here at the Spears Lair. But don't fear: I'll still be blogging every day -- usually while Vegas Girlfriend is in the other room sleeping. That way, I can scarf down all the hummus and Diet Coke in the condo.

VGF's journey to Florida had a real Planes Trains and Automobiles feel to it. (Frankly, anyone who lives north of Clearwater, Fla., just deserves that. Move OUT of the North, my dearest '80s snowbound friends!) Her trip lasted 12 hours and included two power outages in the Detroit airport, a two-hour delay for fuel on the runway, two missed connections in Atlanta and another two-hour delay for a tardy airplane before finally arriving in sunny Tampa. (Current temperature: No clue. I have the A/C running so it's 74 indoors for sure.)

After many cocktails to ease that stress, we caught Avenue Q last night at Clearwater's Ruth Eckerd Hall. If you've missed it, check out this clip featuring the character "Gary Coleman" singing along with the cast for "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist."

Next on the agenda: Watching the four-disc complete set of National Lampoon's Vacation movies, which I got for Christmas, while sipping a little St. Germain. In true dork fashion, we will NOT be watching chronologically, but rather from worst to first. It's an obvious ranking, but here goes...

RANKING THE VACATION MOVIES (along with the best "Rusty" line from each flick):

4. EUROPEAN VACATION (1985): "Oink oink, my good man!"

3. VEGAS VACATION (1997): "Holy crap, Wayne Newton's hittin' on Mom!"

2. CHRISTMAS VACATION (1989): "Oh, woo. Look at the time. I gotta get to bed. I still gotta brush my teeth, feed the hog ..."

1. VACATION (1983): "That was a crummy Wyatt Earp, dad. He was wearing jogging shoes."

What we do when we're not podcasting

Check out the Stuck in the '80s krewe in our latest endeavor: A video for tampabay.com...

Pete Byrne has a holiday present for us

I love opening my e-mail and finding something totally unexpected. This weekend, it was a letter from Pete Byrne of Naked Eyes. Here's the shortened version:

"Hello Steve and greetings for the holidays and New Year! Here's a song I sang for Martha Quinn's Christmas party up in Malibu last week. Also did an interview she's going to run in the next month or so with some other acoustic songs. Hope all is well, I'll try to get back to Florida soon. I nearly did the NYE show in West Palm. Peace and goodwill to all people. It never seemed like we needed it more. -- Pete"

Of course, once I stopped hyperventilating and smiling like a 7-year-old hopped up on Pop Rocks, I wrote him back:

"Merry Christmas, Pete! Would it be okay if I posted your new "I saw Mother Kissing Santa Claus" song on my 80s blog? I'm sure your fans would love to hear it. The highlight of 2008 for me was seeing you play live --TWICE -- and then meeting you in person here in Tampa Bay and having you sing "Rocket Man" to me before you took the stage in Clearwater. Simply one of the most surreal and perfect moments for any music fan. I was just listening to "Emotion in Motion" on my drive to Christmas dinner last night off your Best Of Naked Eyes CD. One of my all-time favorites. Best wishes for continued success in 2009. Hope to see you on the road soon. -- Steve"

Pete wrote back giving me the green light on the song, so click the song title above to hear it. And if you missed our interview with him on the Stuck in the '80s podcast, click here to listen.

[Publicity photo]

Feel-good '80s stories for 2008

Wow, where did the year go? Seems like only yesterday I was dodging drunken female Bon Jovi fans at his concert in Tampa ... or sneaking backstage in an unsuccessful quest to meet Colin Hay ... or paying $25 for a cheese omelet at 4 in the morning during the Regeneration Tour stop in Las Vegas.

With 2009 less than a week away, it's time to decide this: What were the biggest feel-good stories for 2008? What events, reunions, concerts, releases, etc., in the '80s world are deserving of reliving just one more time?

No negativity this time! Time to stop mourning the passing of '80s greats George Carlin and Harvey Korman and think of happier days. I want your suggestions -- maybe I'll even turn it into a year-end podcast.

In the meantime, food for thought:

THE VAN HALEN REUNION: Sure, Diamond Dave actually returned in 2007, but did anyone figure on it lasting until 2008? I still owe Sean Daly a cool $50 for predicting an earlier demise. [Clip]

JOURNEY'S NEW LEAD SINGER: Oh, the Steve Perry mafia are howling about this being a "feel-good" story, but Arnel Pineda is the real thing. I hope he sticks around. [Clip]

GEORGE MICHAEL'S COMEBACK: It's still very possible we'll see him pop up again in newspaper stories about public bathrooms, but George had a great 2008. His guest spots on TV's Eli Stone helped a lot, but so did his first mega-tour of the U.S. in about a zillion years. [Clip]

JOHN CUSACK: He was a bit prickly on The Actor's Studio, but at least he finally willingly talked about his '80s roles again. [Clip]

THE REMAKES: Practically every movie we loved from the '80s is set for remake soon. That's either "feel good" or "feels desperate." You decide.

Fire away with your comments. No idea is too weird to write up.

[AP photo]

Reason #312 to be a vegetarian

Oh wow. A McDLT commercial straight from our beloved '80s. With Jason Alexander! Dressed like Don Johnson -- God, I hope that's what he was aiming for -- from Miami Vice!

I'm proud to say I'm an alumnus of a McDonald's grill team from back in the '80s (because back then, men worked the grill and only females worked the registers -- at least in my store). But I'm 99 percent sure I never made a McDLT. (A little trivia: The McDLT was discontinued not because it was unpopular, but because the patented Styrofoam container that was needed to keep the hot and cool sides separated was ruled too environmentally unfriendly when McDonald's switched to paper containers.)

I was still behind the grill, however, for the original Chicken McNuggets (which we wrapped in cheese slices and flash-fried in the hot oil for a snack) and the unfortunate McRib sandwich phenomenon. (And yes, that's reason #1 to be a vegetarian.)

Merry Christmas (I don't wanna work)

Merry Christmas everyone. While you've been slumbering or opening presents, I'm slaving away at the Stuck in the '80s headquarters building all alone this morning. But I've got a present ready for you anyway.

I'm a big believer in making any holiday your own -- the food (in my case, a knockwurst for breakfast), the festivities (ummm, still working!) and the music (yay!). So put away those Perry Como and Neil Diamond CDs that your parents gave you. It's time for the '80s Nation to reclaim Christmas. Here's a list of must-hear holiday tunes for today. (And to paraphrase the unintentionally crass Bono, "Today, thank God I'm working instead of you.")

By the way, take the time to listen to the entire extended mix of Do They Know It's Christmas Time and you'll hear holiday wishes from all the participants of Band-Aid. It's an amazing time capsule.

Christmas in the 80s

'It's Christmas and we're all in misery'

I know most of the Stuck in the '80s nation is out there, happily shoveling snow, wrapping presents, baking all sorts of diabetic delights and cuddling with that '80s-hating spouse and unappreciative rugrats. Oh, I'm SOOO happy for you.

Here in the subtropic kingdom where SIT80s warmly resides, we're expecting a high today of '80s degrees with a 90 percent chance of scattered loneliness. Yep, Spearsy is stuck working both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day again this year. The Vegas Girlfriend is 1,200 miles away. My fridge has a 12-pack of Sam Adams beer, half a quart of spoiled milk and a package of Soy Pups. My only decoration: a 2-foot-tall bent Christmas bush.

If I can find someone to go with, my plan for tonight is hitting up Pornaoke at the Pegasus Lounge in Tampa. Because nothing says Happy Holidays like singing to Dexy's Midnight Runners while hard-core porn plays behind me.

So in the spirit of my current condition, here's today's list.

BEST 'BAH HUMBUG' LINES FROM '80s HOLIDAY MOVIES:

" 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except ... the four a--holes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation." (Die Hard)

"The bulk of the heroin will be here Friday night, we'll make delivery at that time. Have the money ready, and no tricks. If you try anything ... you'll have to talk to Mr. Joshua. Merry Christmas." (Lethal Weapon)

"I never liked a girl well enough to give her 12 sharp knives." (Scrooged)

"Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!" (A Christmas Story)

"Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn ... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air ... an a--hole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer." (Christmas Vacation)

"You've got a program featuring America's favorite old fart. Reading a book in front of a fireplace. Now, I have to kill all of you." (Scrooged)

"Sons of bitches! Bumpuses!" (A Christmas Story)

"Christmas is around the corner, and I ain't gonna have no money to buy my son the G.I. Joe with the kung-fu grip! And my wife ain't gonna ... my wife ain't gonna make love to me if I got no money!" (Trading Places)

"I trust Christmas brings to you its traditional mix of good food and violent stomach cramp." (Blackadder's Christmas Carol)

"Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho." (Die Hard)

"The Jews taught me this great word. 'Schmuck'. I was a schmuck, and now I'm not a schmuck." (Scrooged)

"No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey a la King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!" (A Christmas Story)

"You see Santa Claus tonight you better run boy, you better run for ya life!" (Silent Night, Deadly Night)

"Ah, come on! It's Christmas Eve! I could be home right now, drinking this monster eggnog my brother makes with lighter fluid." (Better Off Dead)

"I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery." (Christmas Vacation)

Derek Smalls turns 65

Harry Shearer had quite the prosperous acting career before lending his voice talents to The Simpsons. Just look back at our beloved '80s (and even the late '70s) for inspiration.

Any fans of The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh out there? Shearer played a bit role as "Murray Sports" in that 1979 classic. He also plays comic sidekick to Jeff Goldblum as astronaut recruiters in 1983's The Right Stuff. ("I'd like a Pepsi ... in a clean glass.")

Alas, our man Harry will always be most beloved to us as heavy-metal bassist "Derek Smalls" from 1984's This is Spinal Tap. His character's name reportedly came from an album cover of Jethro Tull. The band's Thick as a Brick album had fake newspaper classified ads, one reading "Dwarf for rent: Contact Derek Small."

Shearer turns 65 years old today. Here's hoping the day is anything but "none more black."

TOP 5 DEREK SMALLS LINES FROM SPINAL TAP:

5.  "Joint account?!?! Can't we just have her killed? You know people."

4. "Can I raise a practical question at this point? Are we gonna do Stonehenge tomorrow?"

3. "That's my childhood up there on stage. That moose, you know."

2. "Blues jazz festival. Misnamed."

1. "They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water."

Michael Jackson on his deathbed?

Rumors, accusations and denials are swirling around that the King of Pop is deadly ill and needs a lung transplant to survive.

The possibly fatal ailment affecting Michael Jackson is a genetic condition called alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency, which according to WebMD.com "can't shut down certain enzymes that attack bacteria and inflammatory cells. As a result, those can attack the lungs, resulting in emphysema."

Jackson's condition was first reported in an interview with author Ian Halperin in Britain's Sunday Express. "He also has emphysema and chronic gastrointestinal bleeding, which his doctors have had a lot of trouble stopping," Halperin told the paper. "It's the bleeding that's the most problematic part. It could kill him."

Halperin also said that Jackson "can barely speak. Also, the vision in his left eye is 95 percent gone."

A Jackson spokesman this morning denied all the health rumors, saying the singer was fine and working in the studio -- and plans a world tour in the near future.

"Mr. Jackson is in fine health, and finalizing negotiations with a major entertainment company and television network for both a world tour and a series of specials and appearances," Dr. Tohme Tohme told E! Online. (Whatever you say, Tohme Tohme.)

[AP photo]

Thomas Dolby tunes back in

Good news for Thomas Dolby fans: Rumor has it that EMI Records will release a slew of Dolby albums this spring.

According to the blog on Dolby's official website, re-releases of his first two albums are also in the works. AND a brand-new studio album is expected this year.

Also, Dolby's website has a cool Q&A section where he answers fan e-mail. Here's a good one:

Chris: Is it not now easier to create music now here in the next century with the aid of technology, as to say 1982?

Dolby: Well, making music has always been easy, you just grab the nearest instrument and start singing. What's really changed in the last decade or so is how easy it is to record your music, and then to make the music available to millions of people, without depending on a record company to finance and distribute you. I also think being able to work with a full instrumentation is very liberating. I'm not a multi-instrumentalist -- I play keyboards adequately and guitar very badly, but that's about it.

Still sitting on the fence about the brilliance of Thomas Dolby? Go back two years ago and listen to the podcast we did, featuring an interview with Thomas himself while he was touring the United States. You'll come around.

Time trippin' with the Mystery Jets

No, it's not an '80s video. It's from a new band called the Mystery Jets (official website). It was recommended by Stuck in the '80s London correspondent Sean Mulcahy, who has an update from across the Big Pond:

Hi Steve and Sean. Hope you're both well. I've just been catching up on the last couple of shows. You two recently asked the question: Am I related to film and video director Russell Mulcahy? Well, as far as I'm aware I'm not. I wish I was -- he's a great talent. Also, he is from Melbourne, Australia, and I'm from London, England.

And as for Sean's comments about the Pet Shop Boys, for me they sum up the '80s sounds I so love. I started working in the West End of London in 1986, the year after the PSBs released West End Girls. I worked very close to the areas where much of the video was shot, and it always brings back memories.

My girlfriend of the time loved them, as well as Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet, Terence Trent D'Arby and George Michael. The '80s were such a good time for me, I'd love to invent a time machine and go back and have some more fun.

As for the video, it's for a band called the Mystery Jets. Have a look, they are a current London band with an '80s thing going on.

All the best -- Sean Mulcahy.

We didn't Scrooge you this week

In this economy, the only present that Stuck in the '80s can offer you this holiday season is a new podcast. So my friends Sean Daly and sports columnist Tom Jones joined me for a little tribute to the top 20 holiday flicks of the '80s.

Yeah, it's the same old list of movies that I post online every year -- and no, I'm not going to change my mind and suddenly elevate A Christmas Story to the top spot. But the show is worth a listen anyway for the sparkling humor of three guys who probably deserve a lot more coal than coin in our Christmas stockings.

Click here to listen to the show. Or click here to get all our previous shows for free via iTunes. They're more naughty than nice, but that's how you like it.

U2 finally ready to release new album

U2 is ready to release its first new album in more than four years on March 2. The new disc -- No Line on the Horizon -- follows 2004's How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb.

No Line was recorded in Dublin, New York, London and Morocco, according to the band's label, Interscope Records. The album was originally to be released in November, but was delayed when frontman Bono wasn't happy with the final results, according to media reoprts.

The disc was produced with Brian Eno, Danny Lanois and Steve Lillywhite. Tracks recorded with producer Rick Rubin have been tossed out, Interscope says.

"It's a great record, but it deserves the time. Labels need to work with artists to help them achieve their best work, not to jam records out that are half-baked or three-quarters baked," Interscope chairman Jimmy Iovine told Billboard last month.

Billboard says one source who has heard some of the songs in their early form describes them as "amazing and a little out there."

[Publicity photo]

A whole different kind of Buck Rogers

Here's the latest '80s remake news: Buck Rogers is set for another big-screen treatment by Frank Miller and Odd Lot Entertainment.

Okay, okay. Buck Rogers isn't solely an '80s phenomenon. In fact, the movie with Gil Gerard -- Buck Rogers in the 25th Century -- came out in 1979, but the TV series lasted into the early '80s. For now, only a big-screen remake is planned.

With Miller involved, we can expect a dark, Sin City-like treatment, which sounds interesting if not a little bit inappropriate. I mean, it's Buck Rogers! Bring back Erin Gray! Bring back Twiki! Whatever you do, bring back someone like Pamela Hensley to play Princess Ardala! (I'm pretty sure she's solely responsible for me reaching puberty -- and for that premature mustache I sported during high school.)

Awesome 80s Prom wants local actors

Are you ready to live your '80s prom? Ruth Eckerd Hall, which is hosting the Awesome '80s Prom for five performances beginning Feb. 26, is looking for local actors for the production.

The open casting call wants local improv-style actors "who must have strong comedic instincts, the ability to work a room and for most roles, they must be able to believably play a high school senior." Those who audition should be prepared to do a short monologue by famous '80s movies characters from flicks such as Say Anything, Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club.

Auditions are Saturday, Dec. 20, with callbacks set for Dec. 21. Click below for more information from the hall's press release, or e-mail audition@rutheckerdhall.net for more information.

And to answer your next question: No, I will not be auditioning. Mainly because I couldn't pass for a high school senior back in 1985 much less today.

Eddie Murphy as The Riddler?

More bizarre rumor of the week so far: Eddie Murphy may have snagged the role of The Riddler for the next Batman movie.

Websites everywhere are buzzing with the news, including the New York Daily News, which says the new installment's title could be Gotham and would hit theaters in 2010.

Earth Girls Are Easy's Jim Carrey played that role in 1995's Batman Forever, and 21 Jump Street hero Johnny Depp was a potential Riddler this time around as well.

Would Eddie be a good pick? Maybe. Decide after you check out this list.

TOP 5 UNDERRATED EDDIE MURPHY COMEDIES:

5. I SPY (2002): "Yeah, what's B.N.S. stand for? Bitch that Needs some Slapping?"

4. SHOWTIME (2002): "What happened to the good old days where people would just grow pot in their garages?"

3. THE GOLDEN CHILD (1986): "My dear, sweet brother Numsie!"

2. BOOMERANG (1992): "This is my mack daddie vibe I am giving you. In all its splendor."

1. BOWFINGER (1999): "It's too cerebral! We're trying to make a movie here, not a film!"

The Pretenders have a holiday gift

Chrissie Hynde and The Pretenders are set to release a new EP. (Wow, when was the last time anyone released one of those?)

The new project is Christmas-themed and set for an iTunes-only premiere on Dec. 23. The band has recorded a new version of their classic 2000 Miles (that's the 1983 version above), but also will do their take on I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas and Blue Christmas.

More good news: The Pretenders are kicking off a six-week U.S. tour beginning Jan. 29 in Albany, N.Y. (No Florida dates, sorry). Check their official website for tour details.

Blog battle: All hail Brian Johnson

AC/DC is finally getting around to playing Tampa Bay on their Black Ice tour this weekend. So Stuck in the '80s co-host and Dixie Chicks fan club treasurer Sean Daly and I decided we were long overdue for a mud-slinging blog battle.

Today's topic: Who is/was the ultimate AC/DC frontman: the late Bon Scott or the still-kicking and screaming Brian Johnson. Do you even have to ask which side I took?

TOP 5 REASONS BRIAN JOHNSON TAKES THE CROWN:

5.  HE'S STILL ALIVE: At 61, Brian Johnson dons his signature flat cap, slips on a muscle T-shirt and then sings every night for two hours with a voice that sounds like he just downed eight shot glasses filled with white-hot charcoal. Classics that Bon Scott first recorded -- Highway to Hell, Dirty Deeds, TNT -- have grown legendary with Brian at the helm. Especially when the inflatable hooker takes over the stage for Whole Lotta Rosie. (Forty-two, thirty-nine, fifty-six ... you could say she's got it all!)

4. THE PAGEANTRY: In these days of over-choreographed, Auto-Tuned pop nonsense (aka - whatever is on Daly's top 10 albums of 2008 list), don't you yearn for the grandiose symbols of full-tilt, booze-infused rock-and-roll thunder? Just wait for that magical moment Sunday when Brian lifts Angus Young onto his shoulders for a jog around the arena. Brian Johnson and AC/DC are THE REASONS people flick their Bics during rock shows.

3. THE ATTITUDE: Bon Scott was a whiskey-drinking, bare-chested party god -- on and off stage -- and he knew it. And we all love him for that -- even though it eventually killed him. But Johnson remains humble. During an interview we did a couple years ago for the Stuck in the 80s podcast, every kind word said about him was greeted with an enthusiastic "Aww, Steve, me boy!" And when AC/DC was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2003, Johnson kept it short and simple, quoting Bon Scott's Let There Be Rock, giving a nod to the legend who held the mike before him.

2. HE'S ONE OF US: Johnson is now a Florida resident, making a home in Sarasota. (Bassist Cliff Williams also lives in southwest Florida.) Hang out at a local pub any given night and you might get to pound a beer or two with the spritely frontman, who has also been known to take the stage and belt out a tune or two when the spirit(s) hit him.

1. BACK IN BLACK: A closing argument? Those three simple words: Back in Black. Johnson joined the band in 1980 and immediately was assigned the gargantuan task of penning lyrics for the album. He sat down in a dingy hotel room on the beach, watching an approaching storm batter the coast and wrote down these words: I'm a rolling thunder, pouring rain. I'm comin' on like a hurricane. Yep, Hells Bells. The entire album remains a masterpiece, from the title track all the way down to Rock and Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution. Case closed.

Click here to read Daly's argument, and to see whatever Family Circus crisis has struck the Daly mansion today. But then come back, lighter held high, and demand another thunderous encore from Mr. Brian Johnson.

[AP photo]

How soon is now for Morrissey? This March!

Look who's swinging through North America again: It's everyone's favorite mopey vegan, Morrissey!

Oh don't start up with the hating! I love Morrissey. That is to say, I'm pretty sure I'd like him if I actually listened to any of his solo work after he left The Smiths. And come to think of it, I didn't listen to a lot of Smiths back in the '80s either.

But who am I to taint the image of an '80s icon? (Unless you're from Detroit and your name is Madonna). With all that said, I'm happy to announce that Morrissey begins the U.S. leg of a world tour this March in Florida, including a date here in Tampa Bay on March 4 at Jannus Landing in St. Petersburg.

He's touring to support his new album Years of Refusal (due for release Feb. 16), and will be backed by his longtime band including Boz Boorer, Jesse Tobias, Matt Walker and Solomon Walker. Find out other dates and ticket info on his official website, www.itsmorrisseysworld.com.

Because I wasn't nearly cool enough to be into Morrissey and The Smiths earlier in my life, I've asked the coolest person I know, Vegas Girlfriend, to compile today's top 5 list for me. Take it away, VGF.

TOP 5 SONGS WE NEED TO HEAR LIVE FROM MORRISSEY:

5. THE WORLD IS FULL OF CRASHING BORES: "Have a care, and say a prayer, because he's still there." [Listen]

4. IRISH BLOOD, ENGLISH HEART: "I will die with both my hands untied." [Listen]

3. FIRST OF THE GANG TO DIE: "We are the pretty petty thieves, and you're standing on our street." [Video]

2. HOW SOON IS NOW: "I am human and I need to be loved. Just like everybody else does." [Video]

1. GIRLFRIEND IN A COMA: "Let me whisper my last goodbyes. I know - it's serious." [Video]

[AP photo]

Bucs star loves 'Teen Wolf' way too much

In the land of Unlikely '80s News, we have this: Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive end Greg White has legally changed his name to ... Stylez G. White.

To answer the obvious question -- why!?! -- White told the Associated Press that he no longer liked his own name, but really liked the name Michael J. Fox's best friend in the 1985 movie Teen Wolf.

Rupert "Stiles" Stilinski was played by Jerry Levine. Though Levine also appeared in '80s flicks such as Iron Eagle, Casual Sex and Born on the Fourth of July, he is probably better know today for his directing talents, having lent his skills to TV's Monk, Everybody Hates Chris and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

But never mind all that. Here's the important question: If you could legally change your name to that of an '80s movie character, which would you choose?

Here are some obvious candidates:

BENDER: Ah yes, Judd Nelson's character in 1985's The Breakfast Club. Maybe then you'd figure out the end of his infamous joke, "Naked blond walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a 2-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says ..."

MONTY or MELLON: Pick between Rodney Dangerfield's monikers in either Easy Money or Back to School. Either way, your character ended up a millionaire.

BLANE: Sure, Andrew McCarthy's name in Pretty in Pink sounds more like a major appliance, but that's not the point, is it? ... Or is it? Well, he dressed nice anyway.

LACEY UNDERALL: So with that name, you think maybe they were trying to typecast Cindy Morgan in 1980's Caddyshack? "Would you like to tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?"

APOLLONIA: Gotta love 1984's Purple Rain. What other flick would turn Prince into "The Kid"? Morris Day into "Morris"? And of course, Apollonia Kotero into just ... "Apollonia"? Just stay away from Lake Minnetonka.

Go ahead and pick your own '80s character name. (I'm leaning toward Optimus Prime myself.)

Last-second gift idea: Duran Duran on DVD

Waiting 'til the last possible second to buy a gift for an '80s fan? The solution is here: Get the new Classic Albums: Rio on DVD.

Why? Because nobody who loves the '80s can live without another Duran Duran disc. (Plus, it will help erase the memory of Red Carpet Massacre, though I'm beginning to finally appreciate a couple tracks from that album.)

Classic Albums: Rio tells the story behind the making the 1982 album, including the details of the writing and recording of the big hits and the genesis of its landmark music videos. Plenty of interviews are offered up, including those with Simon Le Bon, Nick Rhodes, John Taylor and Roger Taylor as well as director Russell Mulcahy, former manager Paul Berrow and Bob Geldof.

Live performances and music videos round out the DVD, which was released in November. Amazon.com is selling it for $13.99 and delivery is possible by Christmas day.

Other cool Duran Duran DVDs (that you should own) include:

• Sing Blue Silver: The story behind their Seven and the Ragged Tiger tour.
• Duran Duran - Live from London: Their 2005 reunion show.
• Arena - The Movie/Making of Arena: Their live performance movie from the Ragged Tiger tour.

Retro-review: Buying in to SLC Punk

Today's retro-review brought to you by the Vegas Girlfriend, who stretched the definition of "retro" again to include a movie not made in the '80s, but still about the '80s. Here's her review, verbatim:

TODAY'S RETRO-REVIEW: 1998's SLC Punk, starring Matthew Lillard, Michael A. Goorjian and Annabeth Gish. written and directed by James Merendino. (Watch the trailer)

THE PLOT: Set in 1985 in Salt Lake City, it's the story of Stevo (Lillard) and Heroin Bob (who hates needles and never takes drugs), two former nerds, now punks, who at first embrace the typical
punk ideas of anarchy, no future and picking fights. (Yay!) Sadly they realize that someday, you have do to grow up, ditch the green hair and razor blade earrings, and become an adult. (Boooo!)

MAYBE YOU REMEMBER: Stevo's slide show about which groups other groups beat the crap out of, ending in the the New Wavers. ("The New Wavers did nothing -- they were the new hippies.") And Bob and Stevo's friend Mike, who looks like a total geek, fights like a hardcore bad-ass, but whose dream is to study botany and save the rainforest. The film also features Spears and Daly's dream woman, Annabeth Gish, and, for all you legitimate theater lovers out there, Adam Pascal, who played "Roger" in the original Broadway production of Rent.

SURELY YOU CAN'T FORGET: The final scene, when Bob helps Stevo take his first steps out of dorkdom. Great soundtrack also features The Ramones, Iggy and the Stooges, Roxy Music, Adam Ant, Blondie and the Dead Kennedys.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID: "What 'SLC Punk'' is really about is Stevo's ironic distance on his lifestyle - about the way he lives it  and analyzes it at the same time. The message isn't 'live this way,' but 'look at the way you live.' There's a little something there for all of us." - Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times.

WHY WE LOVE IT: Speaking as someone who was (and still is) a complete nerd and later dabbled in the whole goth thing, this film really hit me on a personal level. Sure, I will become a fully  contributing member of society when I'm finished with grad school, but can't I still go to the bar, listen to Bauhaus and wear corsets at night? To quote the Amazon.com soundtrack review, it's The Big Chill for 80s punks.

TOP 5 MEMORABLE QUOTES FROM SLC PUNK:

5. "Wouldn't it be more of an act of rebellion if you didn't spend so much time buying blue hair dye
and going out to get punky clothes?"

4. "You don't live your life by lyrics."

3. "I'm really sorry about the beating, and I hope the rest of your stay in America is more pleasant."

2. "I forgot to tell you, I sold myself to Trish for 36 bucks."

1. "I didn't sell out son, I bought in.''

Today's earworm: Warriors of the Wasteland

It's not a normal weekend in the Stuck in the '80s kingdom without the implanting of another painful earworm. Today's candidate: Frankie Goes To Hollywood's "Warriors of the Wasteland."

Everyone remembers their 1984 album Welcome to the Pleasuredome. But this tune was off their second album, 1986's Liverpool. Not a great disc, but it had this song and "Rage Hard," another fun tune.

Enjoy the tune, and curse the heavens for ever allowing this band to break up after two records.

Van Halen's M&M fetish is confirmed!

Remember the urban legend about how hard-rocking Van Halen demanded all brown M&Ms be removed from their backstage spreads during the '80s? Well, some 25 years later, it's finally confirmed.

The Smoking Gun, which admits to having searched for verification for 10 years now, finally got its hands on a Van Halen backstage rider from 1982. Sure enough, there's a "no brown M&M" clause in there. Click here to see the full document.

Among the other interesting demands:

• The band specified exactly which vegetables it wanted any given day. Brussels sprouts and spinach on even days; peas and green beans on odd days.
• Plenty of Tab diet cola and lime-flavored Gatorade.
• As for alcohol: Schlitz Malt Liquor, Jack Daniels bourbon, Stolichnaya vodka and Blue Nun white wine.
• Even more bizarre: Herring in sour cream for deli trays ... and one large tub of KY jelly.

If you haven't checked out TSG's full list of riders from '80s artists, you're missing out. They ones for Men At Work (no Vegemite!), Billy Idol (he likes I Can't Believe It's Not Butter), U2 (Rolling Rock in bottles only), Def Leppard (no eggs!),   Billy Joel (no recliners) and more.

Name your favorite musicians-turned-actors

If you thought our list of the best and worst actors-turned-musicians was painful, then get ready for some true agony. It's time to list the best and worst musicians-turned-actors of the '80s.

Thankfully, I doubt there are as many for this particular list (I'm still reeling from Michael J. Fox's singing in Light of Day). By the way, if you haven't heard that podcast, click here. Because it's the only podcast you're getting this week since Mr. Daly and I took the week off.

In the meantime, you know how this works. Ideally we'd like to see musicians from the '80s who appeared in films in the '80s. We can stretch it a year or two either way when needed. But Liza Minnelli's appearance in Arthur back in 1980 probably doesn't count. We can debate on Will Smith, whose gig as the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air didn't start til 1990.

When we're done with the list, we'll put the top 10 in podcast form. Here are some of the obvious picks:

DAVID BOWIE: Sure, he's been around since the '60s, but Bowie was still cranking out plenty of hits during the '80s. And god help you if you haven't seen Absolute Beginners, Labyrinth, The Hunger, Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence and The Last Temptation of Christ. If not, where were you during that decade? (But what was his best and worst performance of that set of movies?) (Trailer video)

MADONNA: You know I'm not giving her top billing. Especially considering her films in the '80s: Desperately Seeking Susan, Who's That Girl?, Shanghai Surprise and Bloodhounds of Broadway. (Trailer video)

PRINCE: Does the Highly Exalted Purple One belong here? After all, he was sorta playing himself in Purple Rain and Under the Cherry Moon. (One scene)