Stephen King can't get these '80s songs out of his head

Earworms  -- or songs that you can't get out of your head no matter how hard you try -- are the worst. (Of course, you can always use the patented Stuck in the '80s cure: Sing the theme to TV's A-Team. It rarely fails.)

Entertainment Weekly features a column by author Stephen King, who this week professes that he's haunted by several earworms from the '80s. Here are the culprits:

MICKEY (Toni Basil): Yeah, that one makes sense. A brutally brain-burrowing ditty. I'm sure Toni herself would issue a sweeping apology if she wasn't still rolling around in the royalties.

TAINTED LOVE (Soft Cell): This one gets me too, but it's not necessarily Soft Cell's version. It's Dan Aykroyd singing it on Remulak in 1993's Coneheads. [See the clip]

RELAX (Frankie Goes to Hollywood): Really? Seriously, of any potential earworms, this one didn't exactly burn up the radio dial. I can think of only two ways you'd hear this song too much. Either King just scored a vintage copy of Welcome to the Pleasuredome on vinyl, or he's watching Zoolander too much on cable. [See the clip]

So what are the worst '80s earworms? Leave a comment and I'll build an uber-list for the blog. My personal ones: Always On My Mind by the Pet Shop Boys (which is also what people hear when they call my cell phone), Grey Matter by Oingo Boingo, Take It On The Run by REO Speedwagon. (Heard it from a friend whoooo, heard it from a friend whooo ... aaaargh!)

Comments

[mike]

I remember a lot of songs back then being played often. I liked most of them though.

[Cheryl]

Jenny/867-5309! Who can I turn to?

[Kimberly]

99 red balloons... they played it over and over back then.

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaspberry Beret (which a friend of mine thought was raspberry parfait)

And what IS a su-su-sudio?

[Michelle]

"Mony Mony."
"Don't Worry Be Happy."
"Simply Irresistible."

[Mary]

URRGGHHHH! I knew just from the headline that I should NOT have read this. Now I have so many earworms all going off at the same time!!!!!

Don't know if this song is from the '80's or even who sings it, but, since I'm now infected, I thought I'd through it in: "I want Candy"

[MarkInTO]

My vote for the absolute WORST (or best if you're trying to screw up someone else's day) earworm for me is the theme song to "Flipper".

"They call him Flipper...Flipper...Faster than lightning...."

[Miguel]

Bad earworms?

Maybe "Hello" by Lionel Richie, "Too Shy" by Kajagoogoo.

[Swordy in Australia]

Whats a madda you... HEY
Gotta no respect
Whada you think you do
Why you looka so sad
Itsa not so bad
Itsa nice-a place
Aah shuddupa you face.

Thanks Joe Dolce

NOW GET THAT OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!

[Kevy Metal]

As much as I like Steve Perry when the chorus of "O Sherry" has wormed its way into my mind it can be annoying to no end.

[Bassnote]

Kiss by Prince is a pretty annoying earworm.

[Dave in Sydney]

Shiny Shiny - Hazy Fantazy
sha na na na!!

Thanks everyone - a whole new heap of earworms have just invaded my brain and it's in danger of exploding (remember Scanners?)

[Frank Anderson]

I can hear the conversation now:

"Andy..you STILL can't get that Hall and Oates earworm out of your head?"

"No can do."

I am about to drop the evil 80's earworm bomb. It's one of the most vile songs of the entire decade, and the chorus has burned multiple holes in my skull over the years.

Martika's "Toy Soliders"

Step by step, heart to heart, left, right, left, we all fall down...

YEEEEEAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

[Swordy in Australia]

Im with 80sfan and Tone Loc's Funky Cold Medina.
Im ready to neck myself whenever I get the keyboard start of A-Ha and Take On ME (de-de-de-de---de---de-de-d-d-d-d-d)

[80sfan]

I don't think earworms have to necessarily be bad songs. I think that they are songs with such strong hooks that they won't let you go.

The first earworms that came to my mind today that haven't already been mentioned, were:
Tone-Loc - Funky Cold Medina
Yello - Oh Yeah
Survivor - Eye of the Tiger
Rupert Holmes - Escape (I'm and grandfathering this one into the 80s)

[The Man Known Only as.......Rowan]

Even though it was never considered a big hit. Every once in a while I get "Better off Dead" by E.G. Daily from the movie of the same name stuck in my head

[Aaron]

forever young - Alphaville

[DerekT]

Mark, you had to bring up 19...

[DerekT]

There is also Mony Mony.

[Mark in East Texas]

I almost hate to bring these up since as soon as I write the names, they will be in my head all day.

Paul Hardcastle - "19" (Nu-nu-nu-nu-nineteen, nineteen)
Murray Head - "One Night in Bangkok"
plus I agree with DerekT about Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy"

I had a horrible earworm earlier this week: The theme to the TV show "What's Happening" Not even the A-Team could fix that.

[Spears]

I saw REO after the new disc came out. I believe they played 2 or 3 songs from it, including "I Needed to Fall," which is an excellent tune, and "Dangerous Combination."

They play here again April 25 (Night Ranger opens) at Ruth Eckerd Hall.

[CHAD]

i'm going see reo in june, they better play something from find your own way home. i haven't seen the band since before the new cd came out. i know the tour with styx is a greatest hits orientiated show, but i think they'll play a couple new tunes for the masses. i'm thinking i needed to fall and find your own way home. i know this is off topic, but i felt compelled to mention it.

[Spears]

I was surprised Hall and Oates didn't playing "Method of Modern Love" the other night in concert. They played just about every other '80s hit.

Speaking of which, my friend Andy - who was at the show with me, but has yet to develop his own SIT80s-worthy nickname - says he can't get "I Can't Go For That" outta his head now.

[Spears]

OK, point taken on REO, which is band that everyone knows I love. "Take It On The Run" was never one of my favorites though, and was made less so after a girlfriend in high school basically followed the plot line of the song prior to us breaking up.

However, last time I saw them live, they've made the song a little more defiant sounding, which helps quite a bit.

[CHAD]

i read the stephen king article the other day. i thought to myself, i bet this makes it to stuck in the 80s.

[CHAD]

i guess to someone who doesn't like reo they could be considered an earworm, but who doesn't like reo? they are an american institution. maybe i'm a little biased, but they are a classic band. i know, i'm being a little playful, but what's not to like. now mickey, relax, anything by the pet shop boys, that's got earworm possibilities.

[Rebecca]

REO can totally be an earworm--when I was in high school, I spent a summer babysitting these two girls--about ages 5 and 7--who had the REO 45 with "Take it on the Run" on it. They played it over and over and over--and sang along off-key--until a song I didn't mind became the song from hell! And to this day, Kevin Cronin's voice gives me a headache.

When I hear "M-E-T-H-O-D-O-F-L-O-V-E" that one sticks around for awhile.

867-5309 is right up there with Come On, Eileen.

And then there's "Sus-Sus-Sudio . . ."

[DerekT]

Heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who heard it from another that REO is not worthy of being an earworm. (I got your back CHAD).
Don't Worry Be Happy would be an earworm for me.
He's Too Shy would be another.

[Brad]

Ever since I heard it on VH1's recent one-hit wonders of the 80s countdown I have had Matthew Wilder's "Break My Stride" bouncing around my skull.

Somebody make it stop!

[Bassnote]

"Come On Eileen" is the worst ear worm ever.

[CHAD]

i'll say this slowly, reo can never be an earworm. to me, a earworm is a bad song. not bad in a good way, just plain bad. if it's a good song, and it get's stuck in your head, that's a good thing.