You can't afford not to rewatch 'Used Cars'

Do you remember Used Cars? Only the real die-hard '80s fans do, and that includes Commander Jeff Johnson down in Cuba, who is headed for civilian life this summer. Let's hope this retro-review isn't a peak into his next career.

TODAY’S RETRO-REVIEW: 1980’s hilarious Used Cars, starring Kurt Russell and Jack Warden. Written and directed by Bob Zemekis.

THE PLOT: Fast-talking salesman Rudy Russo (Russell) scrambles to keep the used car lot owned by kindly Roy Fuchs (Warden) from falling into the hands of Roy’s evil brother, Luke (also Warden).

MAYBE YOU REMEMBER: Recent podcast guest Michael McKean’s cameo with his Laverne & Shirley cohort David L. Lander. As “Freddie & Eddie,” they hack into a televised speech by President Carter (Jimmy’s only shred of '80s cred).

SURELY YOU CAN’T FORGET: Jack Warden demonstrating why he was a consummate character actor. He packs as much Wilford Brimley heart into Roy as he does Montgomery Burns acid into Luke. It’s easy to forget it’s the same actor.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID:  “A foul-mouthed, bumpercrunching farce that is often funnier in theory than in fact but, even so, is a movie that has more laughs in it than any film of the summer except Airplane! It wipes out The Blues Brothers,Caddyshack, Up the Academy, Where the Buffalo Roam and just about every other recent comedy aimed, I assume, at an otherwise television-hooked public.”  - Vincent Canby, New York Times.

WHY WE STILL LOVE IT: It was the first (and only) rowdy, raunchy, R-rated outing for Mr. Zemekis, he of the Back to the Future campiness and Forrest Gump folksiness.  Today’s “Frat Pack” crew should remember that he was getting lowbrow belly laughs when Judd Apatow was still in elementary school.

TOP 5 MEMORABLE LINES FROM USED CARS:

5. “You know what I just noticed, Mrs. Lopez? Your hair matches the color of these tires!”

4. “Well, Old Man ... for $2,400, it better run like a wet dream.”

3. “Fifty bucks never killed anybody!”

2. “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that you can’t afford the classic luxury of the 1972 Buick Centurion. But I’m here to tell you that you can’t afford not to buy this car, and I’m going to make it easy on you.”

1. “Marshall Lucky here for New Deal Used Cars, where we're lowering inflation not only by fighting high prices, not only by murdering high prices, but by blowing the living s--- out of high prices.”

Comments

[Jay]

I had the Used Cars board game.

[karen]

I love vintage clothing, finding one of pieces of clothing that no one has is such a great feeling, just because no one will be wearing it, only you.

I have been buying vintage clothing from ebay a lot and found this ebay store called vintagefreakclothing - http://stores.shop.ebay.co.uk/vintagefreakclothing__W0QQ_armrsZ1

Anything vintage and retro is there, from peacoats to vintage t-shirts.

They also have a facebook group called vintage freak clothing, check that out aswell because they have some funny videos and prize draws happening every week, something called FREAK of the week.

There slogan is

ROCK THE VINTAGE UNLEASH THE FREAK

[Cold in PHX]

This was one of those classic 80s movies that was rerun over and over and over and over again on HBO. There are many movies like this that I would never have seen without cable: "Toby, get me a Phillip's screwdriver.... No, Toby, I said a Phillip's screwdriver." Classic.

[HeartBeeper]

First movie I heard the f-word in: "$2,995? That's too f------- HIGH!"

good times.
good times.

[chase]

I love the reviewer's comment, better than Caddyshack and Blues Brother ... Okay, he kinda missed on that one, eh?

[Kevy Metal]

ribbet, ribbet...gulp

No more crickets.

[Jeff in Cuba]

So here I am at 9:00...

(cricket, cricket)

[Live Mother's Day chat Sunday night 9pm?]

So Jeff, are you having a live Mother's Day chat later at 9pm? Remember, Spears had one last year. Are you in charge tonight? What's the topic of chatter? Will everybody automagically show up at 9? Hope so.

[Giz]

Kurt looks alot like Adam Lambert.

[Kevy Metal]

Here you go Jeff, looks like upstate New York is your destination:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuba_(town),_New_York

[DerekT]

I have never seen this movie, I will have to check it out. Sounds liks a funny film. Jeff in Cuba(NOT) might be a good choice for the future.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Maestro,

I almost included the "Toby pretends to get run over" scene, but it's more visual, and didn't work as a quote. But for you, here it is:

"STOP! Oh no! You ran over my dog, Mister; you ran over my dog! Poor Toby. All he wanted was for you to have this car, and now he's DEAD!"

And Kevy, I've been advised by my crack media advisors to maintain the "Jeff in Cuba" brand no matter where I end up. We'll see.

And I still don't know where I'm going to go, but I may have an announcement to make in the next couple of weeks. Stay tuned.

[Kevy Metal]

Thanks for the walk down memory lane. I haven't seen this movie since I was eleven or twelve, but I still remember it fondly.

When you return to civilian life will your new moniker become Jeff in Toledo, Jeff in Austin, Jeff in Indiana, Jeff in...?

[Former Producer Dave, aka Maestro]

I loved the gag where he used his dog (Toby?) and a big rock under the car's tire to make people think they had run over the dog....or am I mis-remembering this whole thing? Still loved the movie and probably haven't seen it in 10 or 15 years.

[Bassnote]

Love this movie. One of Kurt Russell's best. I love how they fake the death of the already dead Jack Warden character.

[Jay]

I've seen this a hundred times, a classic. The best line is when Frank McRae wants the guy to get into the car and feel the interior.