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June 19, 2009

Sign of the apocalypse: John Cusack in an apocalypse movie

John Cusack 2012

John Cusack's been good to us over the last 25 years or so. Even after 1989's Say Anything, when he put his foot down and refused any more roles in high school flicks, he's done right by the '80s nation.

Movies like High Fidelity, Being John Malkovich, Max and True Colors kept the love affair going (even in the face of paycheck-only flicks like America's Sweethearts, Con Air and Serendipity).

So what are we left to think about his next movie coming out in November -- the ambiguously titled 2012. (Simmer down, Rush fans, it's 2012, not 2112 ... though maybe that's a better idea.) I almost thought it was a joke a first -- a takeoff on 1408, his horror flick from a few years ago.

A new trailer has just been released on Yahoo Movies, and after watching it, you'll get the feeling it's time for John to pay some bills again. In the movie, humanity is fighting for survival against Armageddon, as forecasts of a global apocalypse seem to be coming true. It if looks and feels exactly like Independence Day or The Day After Tomorrow, then congratulate yourself on your keen observation skills: It was written by Roland Emmerich, who had his hands on those other two flicks as well.

I'll probably skip this movie in the theaters and save my money for The Hot Tub Time Machine in 2010.

TOP 5 JOHN CUSACK BOMBS:

5.ONE CRAZY SUMMER (1986): I'll get some guff for putting this movie on the list, but it was totally unwatchable to me then and today. But I still love writer/director Savage Steve Holland (Better Off Dead, How I Got Into College). [Trailer]

4. PUSHING TIN (1999): You rock as an air traffic controller with a bad case of infidelity. But Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie send this movie on a nose-drive. [Trailer]

3. SERENDIPITY (2001): Your childhood buddy Jeremy Piven as a co-star works wonders in Say Anything and Grosse Pointe Blank, but even "Ari Gold" can't get the saccharine taste out of our mouths after seeing this rom-com disaster. [Trailer]

2. THE ROAD TO WELLVILLE (1994): Incredible cast (Anthony Hopkins, Bridget Fonda, Matthew Broderick, Dana Carvey, Colm Meaney) but here's good advice: Stay away from scripts involving enemas. [Trailer]

1. AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS (2001): Ultimate proof that Julia Roberts is the most overrated actress of the last 30 years. This lame script also sucked in Billy Crystal, Hank Azaria, Stanley Tucci, Christopher Walken, Alan Arkin and Seth Green. But nobody could stomach seeing "Lloyd Dobler" coupled with Catherine Zeta-Jones (especially after you figured out she was a slut in High Fidelity the year before!) [Trailer]

Comments

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LEJ

I am SO hoping this is a regular "end of the world" or "disaster" movie and has nothing to do with global warming or blaming humans again. Before people go off on a global warming tangent remember that scientists are still debating the issue and that a lot of scientists who previously backed it are now saying they were wrong. I almost walked out of "The Day The Earth Stood Still" but did not want to waste the money I paid for the ticket.

Douglas Arthur

The ONLY good scene in One Crazy Summer was the aforementioned Godzilla scene with Bobcat. I remember wanting my money back after that trifle...but his recent stuff is hit or miss.

Mrs. Mike

??? why do we have to have a bottom of the list? what about the really good ones such as Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. The best ever.

Walter Cox

Demi Moore singing. Oy. Other than that, I liked the movie.

Ray

Put me in the One Crazy Summer "guff" camp. I love this movie.

What's not to love? Demi Moore with OEM parts. Even Bobcat Goldthwait was entertaining in this one.

Marissa

I read more of the comments. I'd forgotten "Must Love Dogs." It must have been a traumatic experience and I pushed it in the very back of my mind.

Disorganized

Something tells me I'll be asking for my "two dollars" after I watch this one.

Ha! Get it?! I want my two dollars!

....

Marissa

I hated America's Sweethearts. I just can't handle CZJ in any role she's landed. There was ZERO chemistry between Julia Roberts and Cusack. In fact, if not for Billy Crystal and the dog "sniffing" him up, there'd have been no chemistry at all in that flick. OOF!

Swordy in Australia

Serendipity? Sure a cheesey simple movie but its the underlying message that makes this one of my favourites of all times! Sure, I like Clint Eastwood, Rocky, Shawshank, Die Hard and any other testicle scratching and belching movie that makes me a man, but I cry at the end of that movie every time. Its simple, doesnt require thinking and Kate is in the all time top 5 best looking women in the history of humans. How could that be a bomb?

Jessica

No lie, as I read this article, I am watching America's Sweethearts on DVD. The part where John Cusak is "pulling out the prickers."

Bomb or no bomb, it's decent background noise.

don in tulsa

okay, i just looked at the trailer and since i have a 2 year old who wouldn't sit still for a movie i'll wait for it to come out on dvd and get it from our local library. it's another big budget end of the world disaster movie but cusack rarely disapoints even in his paycheck movies so i'll give him a chance.

don in tulsa

gotta say i have always loved "one crazy summer." it was very early in the careers of many young actors and it's interesting to see where they are now. and piven is in it as well. wonder if that's where they met?

anyway, cusack does the big paycheck roles so that he can do movies like "high fidelity." he buys the rights to good books and makes sure he has creative control over the script, etc so that it turns out the way he wants it to, not the way some studio airhead looking at demographics says it should be. and i have no problem with him doing that.

Mark in East Texas

Spearsy, that's a gutsy move calling Julia Roberts an actress. Doesn't she just play the same character (herself) in every movie?

Brad (in LA)

Brother Ron - he's working! In that business, that's an accomplishment, really.

Even Savage Steve Holland has to buy groceries!

Bassnote

I'll be passing on this one. I didn't mind America's Sweethearts, but I hated Pushing Tin.

Spears

I can't stand "Must Love Dogs" as well. I seriously thought about it for the list. Consider it tied for fifth place.

"Must Love Dogs" has some of the dumbest plot twists in any Cusack movie.

Miguel

By the way,Cusack is going to be in the Walk of Fame in 2010.Two Years before the Apocalypse,apparently.

Brother Ron in Dallas

Holy crap, I just looked up Savage Steve Holland's IMDB page. He's lost all cred with me... he's been reduced to directing episodes of "Zoey 101" and now the Jonas Brothers' Disney sitcom thing?

KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!

Crockett

attention all planets of the solar federation....we have assumed control.

Starring, John Cusack?

TheLoneIguana

I'd put "Must Love Dogs" on the list instead of "One Crazy Summer," personally.

"2012" would be just another brain-dead disaster movie, but it loses even more points for hyping the whole Mayan calendar woo.

Miguel

The Road to Wellville for me is the worst movie he`s ever made.

Pushing Tin is not that bad.It has a very interesting idea.America`s Sweethearts and Serendipity are not great,but they´re nice.At least Cusack is very good in both of them.Must Love Dogs is much worse when it comes to his romantic commedies.

Adding to the list,The Martian Child.What a lame movie.I know you like Max,but it would be on my bottom 5.I think it`s a great idea turned into an horrible piece of junk.And Cusack was absolutely miscasted in that movie.

Spears

I love Bobcat in the Godzilla suit. And I love the usual Savage Steve touches. But Demi just does nothing to help this flick.

Spears

Really, the top 4 are pretty bad. Number them however you want. I just can't stand Julia Roberts anymore though.

Brother Ron in Dallas

Spearsy, no love at all for "One Crazy Summer"? Yeah, it's hit and miss, but how can you not love the scene with Bobcat in the rubber Godzilla suit? "Thank you very much, it feels good to be back here at the Club Tokyo." That scene cracks me up every time.

Brad (in LA)

Something tells me you were having second thoughts on that list, Steve. 5-4-3-2-3?

I for one enjoyed "America's Sweethearts." No, it's not fantastic, but Christopher Walken is hilarious as the director. Serendipity? That was lame.

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Relive the music, movies and culture of the greatest decade ever with Times online editor Steve Spears. A teen during the decade, Steve is obsessed with everything from Duran Duran to Journey, John Hughes to John Cusack, and parachute pants to Reaganomics.

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