Horrible hits of 1984: 'Somebody's Watching Me' and what 9 others?

Stuck in the '80s plans to salute the Horrible Hits of 1984 for our next podcast, and as usual, we want your input in picking the 10 worst hits of that year.

Let me get this out of the way first: Rockwell's Somebody's Watching Me is definitely gonna make the list. At which number, I'm not sure. But those dreadful GEICO commercials have clinched a spot for poor Rockwell. It doesn't matter that it appears in a classic scene in Miami Vice, it's on the list. I don't care that Michael Jackson sang backup, it's ON THE LIST.

Click here to see the full 100 hits of 1984 and pick your worst. But here are five I'm leaning toward already:

BREAK MY STRIDE (Matthew Wilder): Even perky, smiley people say "Turn that s--t off!" when it comes on the radio. Which thankfully it rarely does anymore.

TALKING IN YOUR SLEEP (The Romantics): We all sorta liked it on MTV back in the day, but for some reason it drags on like an insurance seminar now.

LET THE MUSIC PLAY (Shannon): Okay, confession time. This would be a sure inclusion, but I loved the way it was used for the new movie Adventureland -- everything it played at the park, the slutty Italian girl got up and started dancing -- so I'm betting you won't hear it on the podcast.

UNDERCOVER OF THE NIGHT (Rolling Stones): The '80s weren't kind to Mick and the boys. Neither were the '90s, but that's beside the point.

THRILLER (Michael Jackson): Yeah, just kidding. Come on. Lighten up, Frances.

Look over the full list of 100 and give your suggestions.

Comments

[TD]

Many songs worthy of "horrible hit" status, but I have to go with the Pointer Sisters' double-dose of awful: "Jump (For My Love)" and "I'm So Excited." Perky pop at its worst. On top of that, those songs are played ad nauseum on the radio, while one of the Pointer Sisters' better songs, "Automatic," is completely ignored.

[Russ]

I need to amend my list. After reminding myself about Yah Mo B There by Michael McDonald and James Ingram and Breakdance by Irene Cara both ABSOLUTELY need to be on the list. They take horrible to a whole new level.

Also, I don't get the Say, Say, Say hate, sure the video was goofy but that was the good song, The Girl Is Mine was FAR FAR WORSE!

[Russ]

It's a hard year to come up with a Top 10 for, but here goes (in no particular order)....

I'm So Excited, Pointer Sisters

Give It Up, K.C.

Infatuation, Rod Stewart

To All The Girls I've Loved Before, Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson

Ghostbusters, Ray Parker Jr.

Islands In The Stream, Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton

Rock Me Tonite, Billy Squier

Joanna, Kool and The Gang

Owner Of A Lonely Heart, Yes

State of Shock, Jacksons

[GAGirl]

I am so glad to see that I am not the only one with the opinion that the Billy Squire video was ultra suckish and creepy. (I was hoping no one was going to post that it was the best video ever.) Bassnote even chimed in on this one. He is like a Stuck in the 80s supporting player so I almost feel my opinion was validated!

[Gary in Gilroy]

DDY - On Desert Moon

[davor]

And you guys call yourselves 80's fans? You're more like a bunch of 80's haters. Shame on you. You've included here more than a dozen songs that are absolutely perfect pop songs. Go ahead guys and sign up for a "Stuck in the 90's dance and grunge" site or "Timbaland Rihanna" fan site.

[rotnes]

Okay it wasn't a top 100 for the year but it did chart up to #15 in 1984 at one point...'The Curly Shuffle' is THE worst song of 1984.
If not for the Bowie Jagger cover of 'Dancing in the Streets' a year later it might be my least favorite 80's song period.
I'm all for an occasional novelty song but the Jump N' The Saddle Band makes Tigre and Bunny look like high art.

Oh and "I can't drive 55" sucks posterior as well, belongs on the list.

[Walter Cox]

While I agree much of the Stones' work in the 80s was suspect, "Undercover of the Night" is a fantastic song.

The Ghostbusters them seems a little dated, that's for sure.

And as I got older, and gained an appreciation for Stevie Wonder, "I Just Called to Say I Love You" seems a little like drinking Coke syrup without the soda water: sweet enough to make you puke.

[Mick in Sydney]

DOn I'm with you mate RATT N ROLL BABY! and was just listening to Condition Critical yesterday. They still make me want to jump on a motorcyle and jump a house house or something. I digress.

#1 worst sone had to be ghostbusters. I counted i heard that for abot 80 days straight that year, was ticking it on the wall at work.
#2Got a hold on me C. McVie Bad song Bad video , heavy makeup and fuzzy lens does not make a good video.
#3 Hold me now T. Twins. hated that chorus and somebody needed to trap them outside for a while.
#4I just called...STevie wonder. If youever heard this song you'd know why.
#5 Union of the snake Duran Duran. mainly anything by them during this time because a girl i was having "relations" with at the time had a poster of them over every single inch of her room so I always felt i had an audience. lol

[Mr. Paul]

How 'bout Rockwell's 'other' hit: "Obscene Phone Caller" C'mon! It doesn't get any better than this! "...if Alexander Bell were alive today, would he want the telephone to be used this way?"

I've never cared for "When Dove's Cry" no matter how many people tell me how brilliant it is. Put that in your bathtub and soak it, Prince!

"Blue Jean" by David Bowie... ugh!

"I Feel For You" without the 'Chaka Khan rap' is pretty lame.

I'll go out on a limb here and say "Last Christmas" by Wham! People keep covering it like it's a holiday chesnut, which is highly annoying.

How "Church of the Poison Mind" ever became a 'hit' boggles the mind. "Miss Me Blind," too, for that matter.

"State of Shock" blows... all that faux moaning. At least, I HOPE it was faux...

Going along with popular opinion, if squirminess of videos play any factor, Billy Squire's "Rock Me Tonight" wins, hands down.

[don in tulsa]

chad, where are you? back me up on quiet riot and ratt! still love listening to them.

[don in tulsa]

i absolutely cannot agree with the inclusion of the romantics. i still love that song. i even like the stones song but i agree about the 80s not being kind to them (or the 90s, or the 00s).

[80sfan]

Looking over the list I don't know what surprised me more. The fact that I have most of these songs or the fact that there were so many that I personally could care never to hear again.

I Just Called To Say I Love You is definitely at the top of that list with Islands in the Stream and To All The Girls I've Loved Before tied for the number 2 spot. All 3 Pointer Sisters songs could be on the list. Along with Rockwell and The Jacksons.

[Simon]

I must have been at just the right age (13) that year. Even after reading these lists I STILL can't find any that I hate and actually remembered some I still like. Unless 1984 was the year of Chaka Khan's "I Feel For You." I hate the freakin' song. Chanka, chaka, chaka khan, chaka khan.

[Dr. Dim]

Thanks, Marissa. Finally, someone who appreciates my fine insights and wit.

That is what you meant, right?

[Dr. Incognito]

I think I am the ultimate 80's apologist. I know all but three or four songs on that list, and none of them are horrible for me (though I definitely have my favorites).

This is pathetic. I just can't get my hate on! When we hit '87-'89, I will DEFINITELY chime in with some vitriol.

Dr. Dim, I'm not surprised that they got you for "c*m". I used a well-known three-letter internet abbreviation ("What the ....?") a week or so ago and got a comment iced. Come on...even Keith Olbermann uses that one now!

[Miguel]

"Hello" by Lionel Richie has to be there Spearsy.

"Say Say...." By McCartney and Jackson.
"Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel of course.

[Max]

1) Adult adult adult edu-ca-shun...
2) Oh, Sherrie, I'm throwin' up ...
3) Almost Paradise (Not) ...
4) Stuck on You (this blog's theme?)
5) State of Shock ...
6) Say say say ... say what? say what? say what?
7) ghost-busters ... another reason to hate dan marino
8) Let's Hear it for the Boy. Yeah, joy.
9) Ya Mo B There. ... what is this, Wisconsin ghetto?
10) Hard Habit to Break ... mmmmm, not so hard, actually.

[Alyfox/Dan Vhay]

The list is for horrible hits, people, HORRIBLE hits. So I really hate to break it you folks, but there is no way S & S are going to put ANY Huey Lewis & The News anywhere NEAR the top ten. Sorry. End of story. Moooooove along. Not. Going. To happen.
That being said, in no particluar order:
1) Self Control - Laura Branigan. Just listen to it.
2) Breaking my Stride - M. Wilder. Just listen to it.
3) To all the Girls I've Loved Before - Nelson & Iglesias. Just listen to it.
4) Running With the Night - L. Richie. Juuuuust listen to it.
5) Church of the Poison Mind - Culture Club. Try and Listen to it.

What should NOT be on the list? Yah Mo B There. Why? Because any song that makes you think of Paul Rudd in 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN can't ba all bad.

[Marissa]

I love Dr. Dim's presence. He makes me look like Little Mary Sunshine :D

[Dr. Dim]

I figured out why my initial comment didn't post. Apparently, you can't spell the word "come" the way Quiet Riot spells it in the title of that insipid cover of an insipid song.

The website controllers (or whatever) must think that spelling is dirty.

[Dr. Dim]

Ok, I'll try again. I'll make it short.

What's Love Got To Do With It - Tina Turner

Footloose - Kenny (one of the most overrated artists of all time) Loggins

The Reflex - Duran Duran (Whiny "whys", 'nuff said.)

Sunglasses At Night - Corey Hart

To All The Girls I've Loved Before - Julio Iglesias & Willie (What was I thinking?) Nelson

C*m On Feel The Noize - Quiet Riot & Round and Round - Ratt (I think my opinion of 80s heavy metal/hair bands is well-documented here.)

On The Dark Side - John Cafferty & the Beaver Brown Band (I'm not a big Springsteen fan, so I'm not crazy about this Springsteen knock-off.)

Anything by Hewy Lewis & the News

Anything by The Pointer Sisters

I actually like The Rolling Stones' 'Undercover Of The Night'. I like the slashing guitar riff, the funky bassline, and the thumping drums. The video is creepy, though. Mick Jagger with a mustache. ooooo, scary!

[Dr. Dim]

For Pete's sake!! I spend 10 minutes writing my list, I post it and it disappears. What the hell?!

[Coffemug]

My entire list does not seem to be here so here it goes again

Yah Mo B There - Just awful

Think of Laura - Whinny and Boring

An Innocent Man - Again, boring

If This is It - Almost as bad as "Hip to Be Square" but at least not as catchy

Infatuation - Only good part is when the old guy punches Rod in the video

Karma Chameleon - Only thing worse is "The War Song"

Break My Stride - I get embarrassed for Matthew Wilder every time this song comes on. At Least Kids American was alright

I Just Called to Say i love you - Just appalling. Stevie should have taken a break in the mid 80's

Ghostbusters - this song was so obnoxious

The Re-flex - it's that "Why-i-i-i-i-i" part that bugs me.

[Michelle]

I forgot "Sister Christian" by Night Ranger which for some ridiculous reason was selected as our senior class song for CMR's Class of '84.
Gag me with a spoon, like, totally!

[Melissa]

Party all the time - Eddit Murphy

Horrible!

[Jeff in Raleigh]

Awww, come on! I like Rockwell!

Nena sucks eggs!
Culture Club should fill the list
Oh Sherry reeks!

[Michelle]

Anything from Billy Joel's "An Innocent Man."
"Jump (For My Love)" and "I'm So Excited" - overplayed at every sports event
"Think of Laura" - considering what started the Luke/Laura relationship on "General Hospital," this homage is yak-tastic.

[Anna]

How can we forget - anything and EVERYTHING by Tiffany!

[userblue]

I'm going to have to go with either
Reflex or True... It's a toss-up

[Ian from Baltimore]

Say Say Say - Bad Bad Bad
Ghostbusters - Ear Splitter
99 Luftballoons - Bad in English and German
Oh, Sherry - Oh, Crap
Islands in the Stream - HORRIBLE

BTW - Why is "When Dove's Cry" attributed to Prince but "Let's Go Crazy" attributed to Prince and the Revolution?

[Marissa]

1. "I Just Called To Say I Love You" -- Stevie Wonder WORST. SONG. EVER.And wasn't it used in "Woman in Red?"

2. Major Tom (Coming Home), Peter Schilling It's a bad pick-up where David Bowie left off. And you couldn't really dance to it. (Believe me, we tried.)

3. Think Of Laura, Christopher Cross I think he wrote it with Laura from General Hospital in mind. I'm not sure, but that's what it makes me think of. It also makes think of warm baths and razor blades.

4. Say Say Say, Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson. Annoying, annoying, annoying.

5. Dancing In The Sheets, Shalamar (Thinking of the too thin Lori Singer attempting to look sexy and dance like a bad girl is reason enough to hate it)

[Banglijk]

"Eddie W is in da House" by Eddie W. Hands down the absolute worst!

[DerekT]

Culture Club should have the number one spot cause so many of thier songs deserve to be on the list.
I never liked She Bop from Cyndi Lauper
Rock me tonight is a good song, but the video ruined the career of Billy
Pink Houses by John Mellencamp
Think of Laura
Sunglasses at Night
Say, Say, Say was a lot better then the Girl is Mine so I will leave it off my list, it is not a great song but it was a great improvement. However soon afterwards, Mike and Paul stopped being friends.

So once again, the top three spots belong to Culture Club (but make them number one and mention all of the lousy songs they put on the radio.)

[Dave in Sydney]

Good news 80s nation - according their Wikipedia page, Air Supply dd not have ANY hits in 1984. We'll have to wait until the horrible hits of 1985 podcast for another dishonourable mention. However, it seems their charting career was all but over by 1985!! All they had was one top 20 single in the States - Sorry, Steve...

[Brad]

Songs from 1984 I will be happy to never hear again:

"Karma Chameleon" (okay, any Culture Club - personal bias)
"To All The Girls I've Loved Before" - nothing like the personal touch. Insert your name here, darling...
"99 Luftballoons" English, German - it stinks in all languages.
"Pink Houses" Just... dreadful
"Say Say Say" Please say you won't ever play it again.

[Dave in Sydney]

I only need to read through everyone else's suggestions and get that sick feeling that takes me back to 84. 3rd year university - my lord, there were some bad songs that year.

However, the one that I still hate and have a gag reflex to is "Wake me up before you go-go". Didn't see it on the the top 100 link, but it was released in May 84. I must have had a lousy 21st birthday that year if this was the music polluting our airwaves!

[Mark Hodgson]

I'm a big fan of the 80's, bit I'm hard pressed to find ten songs there that aren't awful. Guess the UK charts were a little different...

[Kevy Metal]

And...

Say Say Say - MJ and PMc

[Kevy Metal]

My nominations:

Breakdance - Irene Cara
Miss Me Blind - Culture Club
Infatuation - Rod Stewart
If Ever You're In My Arms Again - Peabo Bryson
Hard Habit To Break - Chicago
Break My Stride - Matthew Wilder
Let's Hear It for the Boy - Deniece Williams
Jump (For My Love) - Pointer Sisters
Church of the Poison Mind - Culture Club
The Longest Time - Billy Joel *and I'm a Billy Joel fan
Ya Mo B There - James Ingram and Michael McDonald
I Just Called To Say I Love You - Stevie Wonder

There's a few on that Top 100 I'm not familiar with either.

[Jay Wright]

These are the painful ones to me:

"Let's Hear It For The Boy" by Deniece Williams-This song just sucks.

"On The Dark Side" by John Cafferty and The Beaver Brown Band-I never could get past master thespian Michael Pare and the whole "Eddie and the Cruisers" thing.

"Say Say Say" by Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson-I just say, say, say this was just bad.

"Jump" by Van Halen-I was a freshman in high school when this was released. I was so disappointed in the song. The rest of "1984" was great but I hated Eddie playing keyboards. There was something wrong about a Van Halen song having keyboards in it.

"Islands In The Stream" by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton-I remember hearing this in the background when I was having my wisdom teeth removed. I have hated this song ever since. I don't care if it was produced by the Brothers Gibb. I still hate this song.

The rest of the songs in the list were okay by me but there are some stinkers from that year. If I wasn't writing this at 12:30 at night (or would it be morning), I would spend some more time on this fine year.

[Kevy Metal]

Whoa now, whoa. "Somebody's Watching Me" is not horrible. No. Despite how annoying the Geico commercial is. The song is not great either. It is fun though, and catchy. There are much worse hit songs of 1984.

Is "Saved By Zero", which was bastardized by Toyota, going to get the same treatment?

[Douglas Arthur]

Yeah, wow. Lotsa Government Handout Cheese here in 1984. I kinda dug the Undercover of the Night album. I still play Too Much Blood on my iPod.
Anyway...this is a great topic to tear us away from the non-stop MJ media blitz. Life does go on...

I could be super cycnical and nominate them all, but I'll follow Wuenchdog's lead here and pick 10. These are not in any order...

Say Say Say, MJ and PM
Let's Hear It For The Boy, Deniece Williams
Talking In Your Sleep, Romantics
I Just Called To Say I Love You, Stevie Wonder
Oh Sherrie, Steve Perry
Uptown Girl, Billy Joel
Union Of The Snake, Duran Duran
I'm So Excited, Pointer Sisters
Round And Round, Ratt

Looking over the list, there are quite a few songs I just don't remember, at least by title, so maybe that should be a standard of some sort. If you can't remember a song, doesn't that make it, somehow, not good?

I picked a couple of these just because I thought it would be fun to hear Sean sing them...ok, I kid, but seriously...

[Bassnote]

I Just Called to Say I Love You by Stevie Wonder has to be #1. Just listen to Jack Black go off on it in the movie High Fidelity.

State Of Shock has to be in the top ten. Mick and Michael just did not go well together.

Think Of Laura by Christopher Cross has to be there for the soap opera tie to General Hospital.

Rock Me Tonight by Billy Squire needs to be on the list because of ultra gay video.

[DC]

I remember not liking "State of Shock" by Mick and Michael. (first release from "Victory") I couldn't tell if there were singing a duet or simulating some weird sounding sex.

"I Still Can't Get Over Loving You" was also bad because it totally lifted "Every breath you take, I'll be watching you". May have been a homage to 83's biggest hit but after the Huey Lewis debacle, we were already suspicious of Ray Parker Jr.

[GAGirl]

I second Wuenchdog's comment that anything by Culture Club needs to be on the list. (Just thinking about it makes me start to feel like my dinner is coming up.)

I don't care if Michael was in on it - Say Say Say with Paul McCartney was dreadful.

If I ever hear 99 Luftballoons again I just might climb a tower with a rifle.

I never could taking Somebody's Watching Me.

The most hideous of all duet pairings has to be Julio Iglesias and Willy Nelson. What rocket scientist decided to put these two together? "Hey, let's take two of the most polar opposites of sounds and put them together. Yeah, that would be great!" Wrong.

If it had to be based on a video check out Rock Me Tonight by Billy Squires. It is downright unnerving to see Billy prancing around, tearing his shirt and squirming around on a bed. Rumor has it he was not so thrilled with it either. I could see why. Video killed the radio star - definitely.

Spearsy - I know you are down without VGF. However, she was never good enough for you. Somebody who cares for you should not try to change you. Rock on and soon you will find the TRUE Spearsy Girlfriend.

[Sher]

C'mon Spearsy, fess up.
We all saw you shaking your butt to ~The Romantics~ last year at Ruth Eckerd.

[Wuenchdog]

I thought I was the ultimate 80's apologist, but there are too many bad songs on the list to include them all.

Top 10 Nominees are..
1) Anything by Culture Club, but "Karma Chameleon" is the worst of the bunch.
2) "I Just Called To Say I Love You"
3) "To All the Girls I've Loved Before"
4) "Joanna"
5) "Somebody's Watching Me"
6) "State of Shock"
7) "All Night Long"
8) "Hold Me Now" (never got on the Thompson Twins bandwagon)
9) "Union of the Snake" (sorry Cathy, but let's face the truth)
10 "Sad Songs"

I however have no doubt that some of the songs I love will end up on the show to take a beating. I enjoy and own "Talking in Your Sleep" and "Break My Stride".

Let the debate and the fun begin.

[Clark]

Well, "I Want a New Drug" and "Ghostbusters" are the same song according to the courts, and they're both awful. So is that one vote or two?
Also, I love Stevie Wonder but I can not sit through "I Just Called To Say I Love You"