Horrible hits of 1984: Will we ever forgive Stevie Wonder and the Jacksons?

This feels like a bad time to dump on the Jackson family and a music nice-guy like Stevie Wonder, but when it comes to the hit songs of 1984, these two acts were responsible for two of the biggest sins.

The Jacksons' State of Shock and Wonder's I Just Called To Say I Love You definitely make this week's list of the horrible hits of 1984. But where exactly do they fall on the list? You'll have to listen to this week's podcast to find out.

Our "horrible hits" shows always tread dangerous ground, because the songs we're mocking were indeed huge hits once upon a time. And I suspect many of these tunes are still on our iPods. That's okay, here at Stuck in the '80s, schadenfreude is part of the fun. And when we finished the Horrible Hits of 1983 a couple months ago, I went straight back to listening to Mr. Roboto when all the mocking was done. Domo arigato, Dennis DeYoung. Domo.

So listen to this week's podcast with your sense of humor and adventure fully engaged. And be prepared for a few of the oddest side arguments of all time: Do all women love James Spader? (Cathy Wos says yes.) And when did Sean Daly turn lunchmeat into the world's biggest catchphrase?

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Comments

[TheLoneIguana]

Maybe there was a reference to "Weird Science" somewhere?
"I'm not going to stand here and listen to this.. baloney."
"He won't, you know. He doesn't stand for baloney."

[Peter]

Just listened to the podcast. I actually love a bunch of songs on the list. But that's to be expected. 1984 was the pinnacle of 80's music—so much great stuff that even a worst of is a best of.

[Spears]

I remember the mexican pizzas from school in Pinellas. They were octagons. Only edible thing in the cafeteria.

And yes, I've made bologna boats as an adult. So delicious.

[Rob Adams]

"The Heart of Rock and Roll?" You really have a vendetta against Huey for that podcast from a few years ago.

[Kim]

I went to school in Pinellas county & I too love the Baloney boat. I even made them at home not too long ago!I wish I knew how to make the mexican pizza they used to make. That was one of my favorites.

I also feel the same way Cathy does about Spader. Absolutely love him. I also remember feeling the same way about Jody Whatley at the Band Aid recording session. I didn't want her hands all over our man John! Hoochie!

Great show gang!

[Cathy]

Although "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" was released in 1984, I think you'll have to wait for the Horrible Hits of 1985 to hear that gem.

[D-Pete]

Another very entertaining show. But I cannot fathom that you included "Yah Mo B There" (c'mon! McD AND Ingram!! It's smooth-tastic!) while completely overlooking the crap that is "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go." What gives??

[Mark in East Texas]

"IJCTSILY" is certainly not Stevie Wonder's best effort. However, here's a recent interview with Elvis Costello in which Elvis states that Stevie should be made Music Laureate of our great nation.
http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/popvox/archive/2009/05/21/a-song-and-a-chat-with-elvis-costello.aspx
(BTW, I would have put Karma Chameleon at the top spot - truly an instrument of torture.)

[Mama No]

Please less Cathy. What does she even like from the '80s besides Spader and a few "modern rock" bands?

[Kevy Metal]

Who is Stevie Wonder?

[Douglas Arthur]

Great 'cast again. I listened to it while I mowed the lawn. I have to say that I didn't realize how much I missed Cathy until she came back. More please!

Glad to hear Steve Persall is coming back for more mayhem, his appearances are always welcome!

[mark e]

Just because a song was a hit w/ the masses doesn't mean the cool people ever liked it!!

[Sex in the 80s Fan]

Spearsy,

You can have FLEE as a special guest on that podcast too ... OMG... he's got sex song records -- from the 80s, 90s, below and beyond.

[Michelle]

If you want a good version of "State of Shock," go for the Freddie Mercury/Michael Jackson one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9_BwMtPeWU

[Spears]

Elvis C Fan -- Yes, it was Flee that I had in mind for the Costello show. Good guess.

[sorare]

I am with Cathy I love, love James Spader...everything from Tuff Turf to Boston Legal. He was super hot and naughty when he was young and now he is such a fine actor that I just can't help but love him.

[DC]

I was dreading this one because 1984 was my favorite year in music and memories. However, as the podcast went along I found myself cringing more than I thought I would, especially with "Hello" and "Sunglasses at Night". But I sheepishly admit to still enjoying Culture Club, although I never did quite understand what the hell "Karma Chameleon" meant.

[Marissa]

I feel so validated! Bassnote and I agree.
Gary, I agree. It's as if Stevie had a streak of sadism and thought, "what can I add to this song to make even more horrifying and dreadful?" and he answered himself with cha-cha-cha.

[Elvis C Fan]

S'sy,

If you do an Elvis Costello show, you need to have WMNF's FLEE on with you.... OMG...he's got stories....

[Jennifer from MWC]

I remember Sean mentioning the phrase "Bolongna!" during the One Hit Wonders of 1989, when talking about Edie Bricknell and the New Bohemians. Sean was recalling the time he went to one of their concerts and there was this huge man in front of him that smelled like bolongna. :)

[Bonnie]

I happen to love every single thing that Stevie Wonder has wrote, song, and produced. "I Just Called . . ." is a classic which I sing on Mothers Day every year. I love that song, it's important and . . . Stevie Wonder is simply WONDERFUL in every way. Every song doesn't have to be funky like "Maybe Your Baby". His voice on any song is enough to make it a classic.

[Spader]

Even though I don't always agree with every pick, I love the Horrible Hits shows. Keep 'em coming.

Please, though, cut back on the Cathy Wos appearances. She seems like a nice person, but really adds nothing to most of the podcasts, with the bulk of her input being "Yeahhh...", "Wow...", etc.

[Gary in Gilroy]

BTW, I think I hold the answer to the bologna mystery. If I recall correctly, there is an episode where you tell the listeners that if they eMail a correct answer to the "mystery movie moment" or "name that 80s tune", that they "might be a...." and Sean says,"Bologna", instead of the traditional "wiener". I'll have to go to the archives and review them like the Zapruder film...

[Gary in Gilroy]

I could almost tolerate the sub-par Stevie Wonder tune. It's bad, but it's not torturous,,, and then he ends the tune with that awful 'cha-cha-cha' keyboard coda, and I just want to SMASH IT!

[GAGirl]

I object - I do not love Spader either. James Spader was the 'slick operator' guy I always loathed. (What makes you so damn special? I HAVE TASTE.)

Dancing in the Sheets from Footloose? Really? Doesn't the title alone keep it interesting enough to stay out of the top 10?

This thread brought out an idea. Have you ever tackled the worst and best videos of the 80s?

[Bassnote]

I completely agree with your #1 pick. That song makes me want to hurl every time I hear it. What makes it worse is that he won an Oscar for that piece of dreck. You should have played the bit where Jack Black said, "Can you forgive a once great artist for his musical sin?"

[Michelle]

Oh my, listening to David Straithairn in "Passion Fish" with that Cajun accent. *fans self* So Sean, how did you know there are girls out there who like him?

[Miguel]

Again,Billy Joel`s "Uptown Girl".The worst song of 1984!! (For me)

[Marissa]

Michelle, I just threw up a little.

[Michelle]

C'mon, 'Riss. You don't want James videotaping your deepest fantasies? :D

[Spears]

Everyone keeps asking the Cathy question. She's back in Tampa Bay, not at the newspaper. You'll hear her a lot more on the show, assuming she continues to have the time to visit with me and Sean, but we'll still mix things up from time to time.

And who knows, maybe it'll be just she and me at the Lair for a very special audio commentary of "Sex Lies and Videotape." I'll be the one wearing the James Spader mask. And my sunglasses at night.

Look for Steve Persall to return soon as a co-host for the "Musicians Turned Actors of the '80s" episode. I'd like to get TV critic Eric Deggans back on soon for topics of his choice and the pixie-esque Stephanie Hayes for more shows too.

I have some other crazy ideas up my sleeve too for an Elvis Costello show and I even have my eye on a special guest for our definitive "sex in the '80s show."

[Marissa]

What makes the number one ideally placed is that the artist who wrote and sang it set a high standard for himself in his lengthy career. Putting out such monotonous dreck makes that song worse than any Culture Club or Romantics song.

[DerekT]

I still think all three top spots should've went to Culture Club. They were a fad in the early 80's and they sucked. And like Sean, I thought Boy George was a girl the first time I saw him. Lionel Richie's Hello was made bad by the creepy stalker video that went with it. The '85 show should be interesting since that is the year I graduated high school and the last full year I lived in the US.

[CHAD]

where was ghostbusters? for the record, i like, the heart of rock n roll. is it huey's best song, not by any stretch, but it isn't a horrible hit. there are many more bad tunes that could've been on the list. i'm starting to think ya'll throw these songs on the lists, just to get people riled up. it's ok, it was a great show. my question is, is cathy back full time? is she back with the paper? it's good to hear the three of ya'll again, but i do kinda miss the sausage hang shows. either way, great show, onward and upward. i guess the dreaded 1985 show will include some foreigner.

[Marissa]

Uh, excuse me, but I am a woman and I do NOT like, let alone love, James Spader. There. I have spoken ... or written.

[80sfan]

I still can't believe you included The Romantics Talking in Your Sleep and yes, all women to love James Spader.