Willie and Scott ... friends forever

We recorded our epic "Top 10 TV Theme Songs of the 80s" podcast today, and now I'm stuck singing "Charles in Charge" at my desk over and over and over again. (And if click this link, now it's in your head too.)

Where did the song fall on the list? You'll have to wait for the weekend to hear the show and discover. However, I will reveal that, during an uncomfortable moment of silence in the show, I  confessed my never-dying admiration for the Scott Baio/Willie Aames dynasty of acting.

Which makes you wonder: How much longer must we wait for our podcast tribute to 1982's "Zapped?" Click here to see the never-released trailer for the movie.

Famous 'dos of the 80s

Sadly, given our advancing ages, most of us are well beyond having to worry about frosted highlights, extra-strength hairgel and other hirsute adventures.

But that doesn't mean we can't drag our hairy heroes through the mud again. I mean, come on, Limahl. Are there fishing lines holding those hairstrands up?

Today's challenge: Name were the best celebrity/musician hairdos of the 80s.

I'm just jealous, because I was born with Pete Rose hair -- completely straight, fly-away hair that refuses to conform to any modern style. Unless I use tons of gel, but then I look like Crispin Glover.

Feel free to consider actors, celebrities and musicians for the list. Here are some obvious inclusions:

MIKE SCORE (A Flock of Seagulls): Perhaps the poster man-child for interesting hair. Sadly, he's bald now. (And he says he hates playing "I Ran" -- go figure.)

HOWARD JONES: His hair is sorta halfway between Mike Score's and that MTV Veejay Alan Hunter. Sadly, these days he looks more like Christopher Lloyd in "Back to the Future."

THE B-52s: Just Kate and Cindy. Fred looks just fine.

AIMEE MANN ('Til Tuesday): Once sported the infamous "rat tail," which really should be the official hair accessory of the '80s.

ANNABELLA LWIN (Bow Wow Wow): She went mohawk -- and au natural -- for an album cover. One problem. She wasn't 18 yet.

Add your nominations to the list. We'll unveil the final ranking on a later date. In the meantime, go visit a stylist and ask for the featured look. Time to bring back a classic!

The Dice Man returneth

He may have an overall lower popularity rate than George W., but give Andrew Dice Clay credit: The chain-smoking comic has rabidly loyal fans and still can sell out clubs and theaters whenever he tours.

That's probably why we're about to get another dose of the Diceman this summer. Clay is playing the Tampa Theatre on June 27 as part of Ruth Eckerd Hall's "On The Road" series of events. Tickets go on sale noon, May 9.

Clay sold out Tampa's Side Splitters Comedy Club last July -- even though tickets started at $100. This time around, with the venue a little larger, a seat costs $49.50.

Stuck in the 80s interviewed Clay last time around, and we let him say whatever came to mind -- resulting in a podcast that carries an "adult-language" warning. Click here to listen to the show or click here to subscribe for free on iTunes. 

TOP 5 MOVIE LINES FROM ANDREW DICE CLAY:

5. "If you'd like me to provide you with some vital statistics that can't be measured in a public place, I'd be happy to do so." (Casual Sex)

4. "Have a Twinkie, snapperhead." (The Adventures of Ford Fairlane)

3. "Ya know, I used to have it all figured out. It's like women changed when I had my back turned." (Casual Sex)

2. "Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want." (The Adventures of Ford Fairlane)

1. "Love's a bitch, Duck. Love's a bitch." (Pretty in Pink)

Falling stars of the 80s

Madonna masquerading as a stripper. Gary Coleman on "Divorce Court." George Michaels cruising the public park bathrooms. Mel Gibson picking fights with the police -- and his liver. Tom Cruise picking fights with -- pretty much the entire civilized world. And let's not even bring up the sins of Pee Wee Herman and Jeffrey Jones.

It's an ugly world out there sometimes, 80s fans.

This is a list I'd hoped we wouldn't have to put together, but the timing seems appropriate. Tell us this: Who are the '80s stars you're most ashamed of these days?

You could make your picks based on problems with the law, substance abuse, fights with other celebs or just really bad cosmetic surgery decisions. Submit as many as you want, but try to rank them whenever possible. Later, we'll unveil the ultimate Hall of Shame list.

Here are some others that come to mind:

MADONNA: She's 49 years old, going on 19. And she still wants to dress like a peep-show girl turned dominatrix. And puleeze! For all that is holy, stop talking with a British accent.

SEAN YOUNG: The glory days are all over for the co-star of "No Way Out," "Cousins" and "Blade Runner." She needs to use a breath-a-lizer now before attending awards dinners.

TOM CRUISE: Yo, Tom, you only "starred" in a movie about Vietnam. So stop acting like you have some battleground syndrome and act like a normal person again. Or at least take your shoes if you want to jump on couches.

PAULA ABDUL: I really don't want to be a cold-hearted snake here. I feel for Paula -- I can't make it through an episode of "American Idol" without drinking heavily either.

The fountain of Electric Youth

We've been teasing you all week about the Stuck in the 80s podcast with Deborah Gibson. (Doesn't "Deborah Gibson-Spears" have a nice ring to it?) But now the wait is over.

We went first-class all the way for her visit here. Bought some real bottled water (and we're considering auctioning off her half-used bottle on eBay). Invested in some quality clear plastic cups. Sean Daly even wore shoes that day.

So set aside a good 45 minutes for this show because Deborah will weave some brilliant tales from her 20-plus years in the entertainment business, including the scoop on her frequent visits to the Playboy Mansion.

Click here to download the show. Or click here to get all our Stuck in the 80s podcasts via iTunes. There's also the 12-minute video of highlights from the video available too.

I'm here til 2pm today if you want to chat along while you listen.

The 15 ultimate front men of the 80s

They rule the stage with absolute authority. And back in the '80s, they probably ruled the posters hanging in your bedroom and dorm rooms. Without them, the band would be playing the Holiday Inn lounge in Kankakee, Illinois.

We asked our readers for their picks for the best front-men of the 80s, and we received an avalanche of replies. Today, we unveil the final ranking.

Remember, solo acts weren't eligible, so no whining about Rick Springfield, Prince, Huey Lewis or Madonna not being on the list. Females, of course, are eligible, but it just sounds weird to say "front-women." As usual, fire away with your feedback.

Here are the final picks, along with reader comments on why they belong on the list.

THE 15 BEST FRONT-MEN OF THE '80s:

15. DAVID GAHAN (Depeche Mode): "Without him, Depeche Mode are just three guys playing keyboards. Who the hell wants to see that?"

14. ROBIN ZANDER (Cheap Trick): "Forever associated with the words, 'I want you ... to want ... me!' "

13. BONO (U2): "White flag in hand, he's hard to top."

12. ANNIE LENNOX (Eurythmics): "She can really command a stage."

11. MORRIS DAY (The Time): "The only reason to watch 'Purple Rain' -- and this year's Grammy Awards."

10. CHRISSIE HYNDE (The Pretenders): "Chrissie IS the band, regardless of whatever weird lineup they sported."

9. DAVID BYRNE (Talking Heads): "He was Mr. 80's and was everywhere. Speaking In Tongues, Stop Making Sense, Little Creatures is a great run. Not to mention all the pioneering and great videos for MTV."

8. JELLO BIAFRA (Dead Kennedys): "I think Jello gets the nod just because of the whole FrankenChrist controversy."

7. DANNY ELFMAN (Oingo Boingo): "An amazing manic energy when I saw Oingo Boingo in the 80s. It was a thing to see."

6. STEVE PERRY (Journey): "I've seen a LOT of concerts, mostly AOR, and Steve Perry was the best. He sounded just as good or better on stage than he did on the studio cuts."

5. STEVEN TYLER (Aerosmith): "I saw Aerosmith in 1988 -- with Guns 'n Roses as opening act - and no I will not nominate Axl Rose -- Steven tore up the stage."

4. BRIAN JOHNSON (AC/DC): "I'd bet money that he could have wiped the floor with any other guy you name, and then out-drink him."

3. DAVID LEE ROTH (Van Halen): "I was listening to Van Halen this morning on my commute, in effect casting my vote for Diamond Dave all the way...the hair, the clothes, the moves, the attitude."

2. MICHAEL HUTCHENCE (INXS): "I saw them on the Kick tour, and he held the audience riveted."

1. FREDDIE MERCURY (Queen): "The ultimate showman. I still get chills when I see 'Radio Ga-Ga' performed at Live Aid." (See it)

Honorable mention: Terri Nunn (Berlin); Debbie Harry (Blondie); Martin Fry (ABC); Colin Hay (Men at Work); Robert Smith (The Cure); Morrissey (The Smiths); Jim Kerr (Simple Minds); Bryan Ferry (Roxy Music); Paul Stanley (Kiss); Rob Halford (Judas Priest); Henry Rollins (Black Flag); Peter Wolf (J. Geils Band); Phil Collins (Genesis); David Coverdale (Whitesnake); Belinda Carlisle (Go-Go's).

Bret Michaels likes to give hugs

Can you blame the Poison front-man for grabbing a quickie squeeze here? The somewhat reluctant-looking recipient is Jennifer Gulick, my secret weapon at Clearwater's Ruth Eckerd Hall.

It's Jennifer who badgers visiting musicians to do those great Stuck in the 80s interviews you've been hearing for two years now. And whenever possible, she'll find a way to get me backstage so I can meet the artists in person. Needless to say, I owe her big time. (Actually, we could have interviewed Bret Michaels too, but all you fans out there were squawking about too many shows about heavy metal acts, so we passed this time around.)

Michaels was in Tampa Bay earlier this month for a solo show at Ruth Eckerd Hall. "The crowd loved it," Jennifer reports. "They LOVED it. Everyone was on their feet singing."

Michaels gets more fame these days from his campy but addictive "Rock of Love" reality show, where a parade of eligible women -- come on, can't we call them "skanks?" -- throw themselves at poor ole Bret.

Look for a soundtrack from "Rock of Love" to be released soon.

The best '80s band ... from the '90s

What happens when you combine a couple synthesizers, some New Wave melodies and four guys from Frankfurt, Germany?

The best '80s band from the '90s, according the Check Battery Daily -- the now-defunct band that performs the new Stuck in the 80s podcast theme song.

During the band's 10 years of existence, Check Battery Daily cranked out two albums, appeared occasionally on TV, played a slew of gigs and even cracked the charts in Europe for online music.

Not bad for a band named after a U.S. Army jeep.

Christopher dArcy, the band's lyricist, recently took time out to answer the bigger questions.

Why start an 80s band in the 90s?

"Against the mainstream Check Battery Daily had decided that there is still a place for good music besides loud techno music and boring beats."

"Unfortunately the '90s were not the ideal time for an '80s band."

There's got to be a good story about the band's name.

"Check Battery Daily -- we read this on the battery compartment of a U.S. Army jeep and we found this kinda cool. At that time we decided that, if we ever would have our own band, that would be its name. I would assume that was somewhere in the mid '80s and we were just crazy for electronic music."

"Later I bought myself the first set of synthesizers and started composing myself. And much later [the band] started composing sarcastic songs about our friends which we produced as gifts for their birthdays. And then it just happened - many people liked the songs, so we started to become a real '80s band."

How did the music scene of Frankfurt influence your sound?

We are based in the area of Frankfurt -- actually a bit left of Frankfurt, but know one will know that town. Frankfurt itself is still today the center of the German electronic music scene, maybe also due to the fact that still today one of the largest international fairs for musical instruments is conducted there every year.

Any success stories?

"We recorded our first record in 1989 (named "Our First") and to our surprise it was far more successful than we expected, so in 1990 we released our second record ("Our Next"), which also was a great success."

"We continued to play on stage, winning even some contests and we even aired on TV, but we realized that electronic music doesn't work that well on stage if you have four singers and only one
person playing an instrument. So we started to just use our voices on stage and sang a-capella. And this started our second success wave."

"We also continued working on 80's pop, but the '90s were hungry for something new, so we didn't produce another album. Well, we released 'Our Best' in 1995, but that was about it."

How did the band break up?

"By the time we started considering that the time has come again for great synthesizer melodies, Check Battery Daily found a sudden end."

"In 1998 (vocalist) Bernhard Wurm died in a motorcycle accident. And since the band was always four friends making music together, the band died with him. We felt that there is no space for an external replacement."

Which of the popular bands did you listen to?

Our influences are without doubt Depeche Mode, but also a-ha and Alphaville.

And yes, we still love the '80s and its music. Just listen to our "Ode To The Eighties!"

-- For more information Check Battery Daily and to hear their songs online, visit their official website.

Might as well jump, Van Halens decide

So this is love? After seven years of separation, dozens of Jenny Craig commercials and a long vacation in rehab, the marriage of Eddie Van Halen and Valerie Bertinelli is finally and officially over, according to the Associated Press.

Bertinelli, The former "One Day At A Time" turned Hallmark Special star, played the "irreconcilable differences" card when she filed for divorce in December 2005. The couple had been married in 1981.

One interesting question remains: Who gets custody of their 16-year-old son, Wolfgang, who's currently touring with Dad and friends on the Van Halen reunion tour. That detail wasn't covered in the judgment released Thursday by the Los Angeles Supreme Court.

Click here to see a copy of the marriage dissolution. Or wait 'til February and read Bertinelli's tell-all book "Losing It: And Gaining My Life Back One Pound at a Time."

Charles in charge? Not anymore

Joanie still loves Chachi? I doubt it. Scott Baio has finally bid adieu to the bachelor life. Baio, who championed his lifestyle last year on VH1's "Scott Baio is 45 ... and Single" married girlfriend Renee Sloan on Saturday in Los Angeles.

One media report said it was a "small religious gathering" attended by friends, family and the couple's newborn baby girl. The wedding reportedly was filmed and will be seen in the second season of the reality show, which begins in about a month.

What did it take to drag Baio to the altar? You can say "love" but my bet it's 10 or 12 belts of the super-pot he was growing in the school science lab in "Zapped." Oh, Willie Aames. You are true evil.

Global warming caused by burning beds?

Peter Garrett, former lead singer for Midnight Oil, has a new title ... environment minister in Australia's cabinet. (Stop waiting for the punchline -- there isn't one coming. Unless he tries replacing the country's unofficial anthem of "Down Under" with "Don't Wanna Be The One.")

When Midnight Oil broke up in 2002, Garrett went on to pursue a political career. The new Aussie prime minister, Kevin Rudd, made the unusual appointment this week. Check out the latest on Garrett at his official website.

Most important question: Does this get us out of having to do a Midnight Oil podcast on Stuck in the 80s? Because I can pretty much only name one song -- "Beds Are Burning" -- and I'd easily put it on my list of 50 songs from the 80s I never really need to hear again.

However, thanks to a solid five minutes of reporting time, I feel quasi-confident in today's top 5 list.

TOP 5 MIDNIGHT OIL TUNES FROM THE 80s:

5. Armistice Day: "The fixers do the fixing, the locals do the lynching."

4. Us Forces: "Superboy takes a plutonium wife."

3. Power and the Passion: "Sometimes you've got to take the hardest line."

2. Beds Are Burning: "How can we dance when our earth is turning."

1. The Dead Heart: "We carry in our hearts the true country."

Thunderlips has a broken heart

Hulk Hogan's not having a great year. Our favorite professional wrestler from the 80s -- who lives here in Tampa Bay -- has seen his son arrested after getting into a car wreck that seriously injured his friend. And now, his wife has filed for divorce after 23 years of marriage.

(And all this after during a week when they show his award-worthy turn as "Thunderlips" during nonstop Rocky 3 showings on cable.)

Those who follow Hogan Knows Best, Hulk's VH1 reality show, shouldn't be too surprised. Hulk (aka Terry Bollea) and his wife Linda have knocked heads before about the state of their marriage.

When my colleagues at the St. Pete Times called Thunderlips to ask about the divorce, Hulk said it was the first he'd heard about it. "I'm kind of shocked," he told the Times. "You caught me off-guard. My wife has been in California for about three weeks. ... Holy smokes. Wow, you just knocked the bottom out of me. ... I just pulled over to the side of the road for five minutes to find out what was going on here."

'Mick, Mick, Mick! Speak English!'

Whoopi Goldberg (aside from having a name that would make for a great Major League relief pitcher) once had a thriving and eclectic film career back in our beloved 80s.

Why she chose to throw it all away and become a regular on the morning lobotomy-fest known as The View is beyond me. (I liken the show to watching footage of your own colonoscopy: Nothing good can come from it, and in the end you realize you've been watching the inside of your own a-- for an hour.)

Whoopi turns 52 years old today, and might I suggest she take the occasion to review her golden days of acting and consider a career change.

I'm not going to force things and say she had 5 great movies in the 80s. She had two -- The Color Purple and Jumpin' Jack Flash -- and then several dogs, including Homer and Eddie, Clara's Heart and Burglar.

But she's the queen of the great one-liners in her movies.

TOP 5 LINES FROM WHOOPI'S 80s MOVIES:

5. "You ruined my life, my 'do, AND my Manilow tapes!" (Burglar)

4. "If you don't leave me alone, I'm gonna snatch this bad-boy off your head and ram it up your ole chocolate whiz-way." (Jumpin' Jack Flash)

3. "Until you do right by me everything you think about is gonna crumble!" (The Color Purple)

2. "Mick, Mick, Mick! Speak English!" (Jumpin' Jack Flash)

1. "I'm poor, black, I may even be ugly, but dear God I'm here, I'm here!" (The Color Purple)

Relax, Prince, it's an AP photo

Prince has had some unusual brushes with the fourth dimension over his career. He wore the "cheeky" chaps during a TV performance. He changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol. And I'm pretty sure he composed "Bat Dance" because he lost a bet with Tim Burton.

So what is Prince's latest pointless activity? He's going after websites and blogs that use copyrighted images of him. Congratulations, Prince. You've found something that will take you approximately 3.5 light years to accomplish and probably alienate all your fan sites in the process.

According to the AP, Prince really isn't going after fans -- just unauthorized fan sites. (Umm, that's the fans, Prince.) His concert promotion company, AEG, says Prince will offer some material online for free, bypassing "phony fan sites that exploit both consumers and artists."

There's a reason fans to go unofficial websites for their favorite artists: Those sites are updated much more often than the official ones and are far more entertaining.

Check this Prince fan sites out if you have any doubt:

• Housequake.com
• The Dawn Experience
• Prince.org
• Dawnation.com

As if the photo fight wasn't enough, Prince also released a new song called "PFUnk," with its lyrics pointed directly at his fans: "The only reason you say my name is to get your 15 seconds of fame, nobody's even sure what you do," he sings. "I don't care what people may say, I ain't gonna let it ruin my day."

[AP photo; yeah, we're cool, Prince]

Tom Cruise: the world's last barman poet

Tom Cruise has been such an easy target for so long. He's like Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan and Pete Doherty all wrapped up in one, alien-worshiping body. But there's one person out there in the Blogosphere who still "gets" Tom -- and it's Reel Girl (aka Caroline Kepnes on E! Online)

I'm pretty sure Reel Girl is the one who got away. The girl I once had a great date with back in the late 80s, but then we lost each other's numbers, and then she filed a restraining order, moved away and then I grew back my mustache. Tragic circumstances have kept us apart too long.

But today, I found her again. And Reel Girl has -- dare I say -- a classic post on her blog today: The Absolute Best Things Tom Cruise Has Ever Done. Check it out now. I'll wait ...

Are there 80s projects on her list? (Does Mickey Rourke have a drinking problem?) Hell yeah! And while I hope she's kidding about watching "Cocktail" on an endless loop (nah, I'd do it too), I think the list is pure genius.

And to answer her question, what other projects has Tommy Boy done that are absolutely great? Here are some that didn't make her list:

Without Limits (producer): A rare, non-80s entry. But this 1998 bio-pic about long-distance runner Steve Prefontaine (starring Billy Crudup) is one of the best movies that never saw the inside of a movie theater.

Taps: "It's beautiful, man!" You said it, Tom.

Risky Business: "My name is Joel Goodson. I deal in human fulfillment. I grossed over eight thousand dollars in one night. Time of your life, huh kid?" Tom probably goes to sleep each night, thanking God he got this movie part.

Rain Man: "That man right there is my brother and if he doesn't get to watch 'People's Court' in about 30 seconds, he's gonna throw a fit right here on your porch. Now you can help me or you can stand there and watch it happen." The most under-rated role in his career.

A Few Good Men: "Is the colonel's underwear a matter of national security?"

Reel Girl, take me to bed or lose me forever!

Mickey Rourke: 'Innate respect for the insane'

Mickey Rourke, renaissance man. Our man Mickey -- who's gone from actor to boxer to ummm ... well, we loved your movies! -- was arrested Thursday morning in Miami Beach on suspicion of driving under the influence, according to the Associated Press.

Pulled over while making some erratic moves on his green scooter, Rourke "had a flushed face and bloodshot, watery eyes, his speech was slurred, and he had a strong odor of alcohol on his breath," the police report said. He failed field sobriety and blood alcohol tests, according to the report.

I'm not going to sully the man any further, because Rourke was a god in the 80s. If he wants to pull a "Nick Nolte" once in a while, he's entitled. Just next time, spring for a designated scooter driver.

TOP 5 MICKEY ROURKE FLICKS OF THE 80s:

5. Rumble Fish (1983): "Even the most primitive of societies have an innate respect for the insane."

4. The Pope of Greenwich Village (1984): "This might be your church, right now I'm the Pope of Greenwich Village 'cause I got the tape alright?"

3. Diner (1982): "If you don't have good dreams, Bagel, you got nightmares."

2. Nine 1/2 Weeks (1986): "I saw myself in you."

1. Barfly (1987): "Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead."

Rebecca De Mornay: Time of your life, huh kid?

She's what every boy off the lakes wants: Rebecca De Mornay -- better known as "Lana" in 1983's "Risky Business" to us -- better really enjoy taking the train. That might be the only way she gets around after a recent arrest for driving under the influence of alcohol.

De Mornay was stopped in Beverly Hills the night before Halloween for a traffic violation when cops detected booze on her breath, according to reports by People magazine. Her blood alcohol level was 0.09, just slightly about the legal limit in California.

Unlike some of her acting peers, De Mornay was "very cooperative" while being arrested, reports say.

I don't think I'm going out on a limb by saying just about every teenage male in the 80s had a "Rebecca De Mornay in handcuffs" fantasy going on at one point or another. She's easily one of the most fantasized girlfriends of the decade. Right up there with Kelly LeBrock from "Weird Science" and Phoebe Cates in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" (without all the bathroom weirdness).

But did you know De Mornay actually played a jailbird in one of her 80s flicks? Put the kids to bed early tonight and check out "And God Created Woman" from 1988. If you thought "Risky Business" was risque, you don't know De Mornay.

TOP FIVE REBECCA DE MORNAY FLICKS FROM THE 80s:

5. Runaway Train (1985): "Hold me. I don't want to die alone."

4. The Slugger's Wife (1985): Look for the cameo by  Steven Gustafson, Dennis Drew, and Jerome Augustyniak of 10,000 Maniacs. And try not to wince at the bad acting.

3. Feds (1988): "He's been trained for this since he was a sperm."

2. And God Created Woman (1988): I know that Vince Spano and Frank Langella really enjoyed this movie!

1. Risky Business (1983): "Are you ready for me ... Ralph?"

The hedonism of Simon Le Bon

I'm a Duran Duran nut, like most people who grew up in the early to mid 80s. But unlike the other lads, the Duranie I always wanted to be was Simon Le Bon.

He wasn't the babe magnet that John Taylor was. Wasn't the charming, intellectual Nick Rhodes. And he sure wasn't the antisocial, misfit of either Roger or Andy Taylor. Simon just wore wristbands, struck cool poses, sang his guts out ("Siiiiiiiiiiing, Blue Siiiiiiilver!"), gave interesting quotes to the media and generally didn't care all that much what people thought of him.

Plus, Simon didn't have to play an instrument. (Unless you count the tambourine as a real instrument, and unless you're in the Partridge Family, you don't.)

Simon turns 49 today. Here are a few favorite quotes from the birthday boy to enjoy, along with links to the full articles in which they appear.

On his role in the "View to a Kill" video: "It was the closest I was ever going to get to playing James Bond and I wasn't about to miss out on that opportunity, He had the works - the girls, the guns, the gadgets, the cars. He got to do everything. I used to read the Bond books as a kid, and I thought they were really sexy. I always wanted to be Bond." [Full interview]

On staying in shape: "I've got some very serious beauty tips. Don't run too much. You'll f--k your knees up. I go for nice long walks now, uphill. And one of these days, I'm going to get a dog. But I've got a very physical job, and I'd hate to have to go to the gym. That would be awful." [More]

On recording "Seven and the Ragged Tiger" in Australia: "Oh my God, that was hedonism. I succumbed to hedonism. My God, did we have a good time. Somebody came up to us once and said, 'I think you shagged all the girls in Sydney.' And we weren't even trying. It was so funny. We had some fantastic times." [More]

Keep on Lovin' REO Speedwagon

If I can be so bold to offer this observation: Kevin Cronin was the face of the early 80s music scene. REO Speedwagon's live videos saturated the first day of MTV's programming. Their album "Hi Infidelity" was the top-selling record a half year in 1981. And six tunes from that glorious record reached the charts that year. In shorter words, he was a golden god.

Times music critic Sean Daly and I recently had the chance to interview Cronin for Stuck in the 80s prior to REO's concert here in Tampa Bay on Oct. 23 at Ruth Eckerd Hall. We asked him about his local ties (he's got in-laws all around Tampa Bay), the new album -- "Find Your Own Way Home," and his super-human songwriting powers that created the band's string of hits in the 80s.

Click here to download the entire interview (including a new Name That Tune challenge). Or click here to subscribe to all our shows for free on iTunes.

Here are some highlights from our talk with Cronin:

On the effect a new album has on touring: "Just on a vibe level, everyone's feeling renewed energy-wise. It's just a great feeling to finish a record and ... it can't help but rub off on the classic songs. The old songs song better than ever to me now. I'm having more fun singing them than I ever have."

On stories people have about their songs: "We get some wacky stories. We had a couple, as I was singing "Can't Fight This Feeling" in Syracuse, NY, ... there was a guy on one knee in the aisle proposing to his girlfriend as we sang the song. ... I got an e-mail recently from a guy in Iraq. They play our music inside their armored vehicles as they go into battle. They're playing 'Riding the Storm Out.' "

On how many women have been seduced to "Keep On Loving You": "That's a tightly held secret that no one in the band is able to disclose the actual facts and figures. We do have a bed post that we carry around in the tour bus that everyone puts notches in on a nightly basis. (laughs) Not at all. But there was a time. When those records were huge hits, I don't know exactly what it is, but women do like to be around rock bands.

On trashing hotel rooms: "The old days of throwing a nice big picture-tube analog TV out the window, there was a certain explosion that was made when one of those things hit the cement. The new flat-screens, they're just not as much fun to throw out windows anymore, so why bother?

Enjoy the podcast and leave us a comment with your feedback.

Roger Moore is 80 years old?!?

Surely this is a misprint: Roger Moore is celebrating his 80th birthday today. In case you're wondering, that makes him three years older than the "007" he replaced -- Sean Connery.

Moore played "James Bond" from 1973 to 1985, appearing in what I believe are some of the best 007 films ("The Spy Who Loved Me" and "For Your Eyes Only") -- and easily the worst ("A View To A Kill"). To be honest, I preferred him to Connery and Pierce Brosnan. (And I'll also confess I thought Timothy Dalton's two turns as Bond were some of my favorites.)

His niche in the 007 library: He was the funniest of the Bonds. (Lest we forget his other great acting role of the 80s '-- "Seymour Goldfarb Jr." in 1981's "Cannonball Run.") And probably the most suave of the Bonds. (He's got his own official website, which in typically Bond fashion prompts visitors "Why not ask me a question?")

These days, Moore still makes an occasional screen appearance (he's hilariously "gay" in 2002's "Boat Trip" -- seriously, that movie kills me.) Mostly he spends his time serving as a UNICEF ambassador, a cause he continues to promote when he does appear in public.

FAVORITE ROGER MOORE MOVIE QUOTES OF THE 80s:

"He was going to kill me. And you. Things like that tend to make me impulsive." (Seawolves, 1980)

"Now put your clothes back on, and I'll buy you an ice cream." (For Your Eyes Only, 1981)

"Do you think you can help me? Someone seems to have stuck a knife in my wallet." (Octopussy, 1983)

"Call me James. It's five days until Alaska." (A View To A Kill, 1985)

Olivia Newton-John's echoes of long ago

I have a theory about Olivia Newton-John, and here it is: If she hadn't insisted on sticking to movies in the early 80s and concentrated on her music career instead, we'd have erected statues in her honor by now and she'd be filling huge arenas for concerts (instead of that hag Madonna.)

Sadly, in the year 1980, there was a cosmic shift in the space-time continuum: She made the movie Xanadu and our world was never the same. Don't get me wrong -- Xanadu has possibly one of the best soundtracks of any movie in the late 70s or 80s. Seriously. "Suddenly," "I'm Alive," "Magic," and the title song.

The rest of the actual movie? Too painful to contemplate. It was so unintentionally campy, it makes the Village People's "Can't Stop the Music" (also from 1980) look like "The Deer Hunter."

Olivia Newton-John turns 59 years old today, and here's a suitable present: A pair of tickets to the new Broadway production of "Xanadu," playing at the Helen Hayes Theatre in New York. Just visiting the production's official website is a trip through time. And ELO's Jeff Lynne returns to handles the music and lyrics. What more can an 80s fan ask for?

Reading the reviews, it seems like the stage show has found the niche it should have aimed for back in the less humorous year of 1980. The New York Times called it an "outlandishly enjoyable stage spoof of the outrageously bad movie."

After other odd choices for 80s movies-turned-to-Broadway (Color Purple, Footloose), it seems like we're finally on to something worth celebrating.

[AP photo; handout photo]

Klaus Meine returns to the 80s -- for a while

Klaus Meine of The Scorpions called the Stuck in the 80s podcast this week for a chat and was very clear on one point: "We're not stuck in the 80s." OK, OK, Klaus. It's just that many of your American fans still are!

The Scorpions are in the middle of a short U.S. tour right now, promoting their new album "Humanity - Hour 1." The 12-track CD is a mix between a concept album and a "common theme" album, he says. Never mind the label, the point is that it rocks -- big time. If you want to give it a test-ride, tunes like "321" and "The Future Never Dies" are must-have downloads from iTunes.

During our half-hour chat, Klaus talked about the genesis of the new album, the role of super-producer Desmond Child and his thoughts on some of the band's classic tunes.

Click here for the full podcast interview with Klaus, but in the meantime, here are some highlights:

About the new album: "After 'Unbreakable,' we wanted to make an album that rocked -- with a lot of attitude. But we also wanted to make something that's not so much like a classic rock album, because we don't live in the past. We're artists and we're very much here and now. So we wanted an album that's more mature."

On producer Desmond Child: "When we met with him, he said, 'Hey guys, we gotta come up with something that could be another milestone in your long career.' .. When Desmond presented us with the idea of 'Humanity - Hour One' we thought this is great. ... You know, we didn't want to make another record with songs about boys chasing girls. I mean, come on, give me a break."

On his voice: "When you run through a major problem like we did in the 80s when we recorded 'Blackout,' I think after that after I survived two major surgeries on my vocal cords, you just take better care of your instrument. It's an ugly word in association with rock n' roll -- it's called discipline."

On Smashing Pumpkin's Billy Corgan contribution to the song 'The Cross': Actually, Billy is a huge Scorpions fans -- he grew up with our music. Since we were working in the same studio -- he was working with the Pumpkins and I was in the same place next door, we bumped into each other every day. I told Billy, 'Whenever you feel good about it, just come up and we'll record your part.' "

On playing in Cold War Russia: "It was amazing because we are Germans and we grew up in the shadow of the Berlin Wall. We grew up as a post-war generation. After all the success we enjoyed in the world, especially in the 80s in America, we wanted to go behind the Iron Curtain. We knew we had a base of fans there. ... We went there in '88 and the KGB was around us all the time. But we saw it was Scorpion-mania. Fans were coming from Siberia for 20 hours on a train to be part of a rock concert and to get a taste of the free world. A year later we went back to Russia and played the legendary Moscow Music Peace Festival and it was the moment of inspiration for a song called 'Wind of Change' that became the anthem to the coming down of the Berlin Wall."

Is the tune still emotional to play?: "It is, but it depends on where we play it. It was a hit in America too, but not so much with the hard rock audience. It's a totally different emotion when you play it in an Eastern Bloc country or in Russia. ... When I sing it, it still gives me goose bumps when people in front of me cry."

[Publicity photo from the-scorpions.com]

Backstage with Rick, Eddie and John

Hey, hey, 80s aficionados! Are you ready for a crazy blogging experience? This Saturday night, I'll be blogging all day from backstage at the '80s Fest concert at Clearwater's Ruth Eckerd Hall, starring Rick Springfield, Eddie Money and John Waite.

I'll have a slew of photos from the dark catacomb of hallways, stories from outside the dressing rooms, gossip from the wings off the stage and tantalizing tales of catering delights with our 80s songwriting gods. Tune in all day Saturday for continuous updates. I'll post photos and briefs nearly instantaneously.

If you're attending the concert, be sure to yell out when you see your's truly on stage to do the show introductions at the beginning of the night. I'll be the plump, sweaty guy on stage slurring his words worse than Courtney Love at a fraternity kegger.

If you're not attending ... then you're crazy. These three guys put on an incredible show. I've met both Rick and Eddie in person before and seen their past shows at Ruth Eckerd Hall, and they're not to be missed. And this time, I finally get to see John Waite perform live. I can't wait.

Want of taste of what to expect? Check out our former podcasts featuring music and interviews from all three:

• Rick Springfield and Eddie Money at "We Are the 80s" show in 2006
• John Waite music and interview in 2007

[Photo from rickspringfield.com]

Martha Quinn doesn't let the 80s down

When you're an 80s addict, is there anyone you'd rather talk to than Martha Quinn?

One of MTV's original veejays 26 years ago, today Quinn is back in the news, lending her name and chicness to a new computer trivia game called "The 80s Game with Martha Quinn." She also hosts a weekly show on the Sirius satellite radio network called "Martha Quinn Presents Gods of the Big 80s."

Now 47 years old, she has not surprisingly tapped into the Dick Clark Fountain of Youth, retaining her pixie, girl-next-door looks and friendly yet frisky voice. (Click here for her official website, with her own podcast.)

She recently chatted with Stuck in the 80s to promote her trivia game. While Times pop critic Sean Daly flattered her non-stop, I chatted her up about her love of Bon Jovi, one-hit wonders and today's celebrity gossip websites. Here are some highlights from the interview. (Click here to listen to the full interview with Martha Quinn. Or click here to subscribe to all our podcasts for free on iTunes.)

Stuck in the 80s: Martha, your voice is essentially ingrained in our DNA. You must have guys coming up to you all the time expressing their love to you.

Martha Quinn: "No, this is what happens, and it's always a double-edged sword to me because I know people are trying to be nice. . ... Someone will say 'Oh Martha, I used to have the biggest crush on you.' I'm like, 'Oh you used to? Who do you have a crush on now.' Typical female.

When MTV started 25 years ago, did anyone at the network envision you'd became the face of the music television revolution?

"You're the first person to ever ask that question. ... You know it's funny, every once in a while, I'll read an article and if they talking about the 80s, I've actually seem them to refer to those as the 'Martha Quinn Years.' And I'm like, 'Oh my god, that's incredible.' No, I'm quite sure that nobody had any idea because, you know, I was just some goofy kid off the street basically. It just worked out that way. I can't explain it. ... It worked out great and I'm honored.

Is it a burden to have that responsibility fall on you?

"Well, I try not to drive and drive so that I don't let the 80s down. You know how I feel about it? It's so great that I do the Sirius show right now. ... It's totally reconnecting me with this group of people who I really feel like we came to age together."

Why are so many people still infatuated with the decade?

"I'm not sure. People are passionate about the 80s. It's really wild. I look back on it -- there was Reaganomics and the Reagan years and there was a lot going on in the world.  There was also a lot of real hard-core optimism. Everything from Garbage Pail Kids to the Smurfs to the Safety Dance. ...""

"People always love the period of time they grew up in before they took on adult responsibilities. You always love those years. But I do think that people who grew up in the 80s are more passionate about the 80s than any other decade. When the 50s came back, it was kind of a kitschy, cute revival."

The music was fun too. What did you listen to back then?

"I firmly believe there's an East Coast/West Coast divide on this. People who grew up on the East Coast are firm Bon Jovi [and] Aerosmith listeners. West Coast, Oingo Boingo [and] Depeche Mode."

"[For me, it was] Bon Jovi, Van Halen, Dexy's Midnight Runners."

Oh come on, you listened to just one Dexy's Midnight Runners song -- "Come On Eileen"!

"Yeah, but I listened to it over and over and over. That was back in the days when you could put a single on your turntable and switch the mode to repeat. ... My neighbors must have thought I was insane. I loved that song."

What interviews really stand out from your MTV days?

I interviewed Bob Dylan ... I was so frightened of this guy, and he was wonderful. I finally got to meet Paul McCartney, which was a total dream. ... I almost found that the bigger the celerity, the nicer they were. Frankie Goes To Hollywood came in -- Mark [Goodman] actually interviewed them -- and they were total d--ks. Totally! Mark actually at one point said, 'Listen, do you guys even want to do this interview?' "

"But that being said, tons of newcomers were awesome too, like the Go-Go's, whom I'm still friends with. The Stray Cats, the Red Hot Chili Peppers [too]. But you tend to be great when the camera is on."

What do you make of today's celebrity culture -- the tabloids, the gossip websites?

"I don't even go to the movies. I don't even watch TV. But I'm addicted to this stuff. It's crazy. I gotta see the latest on what's happening with Lindsay Lohan."

"I was just saying this to [former MTV veejay] Nina Blackwood: We missed the era of tabloids. If tabloids had been around back then, we would have been right there -- 'Nina Blackwood is dating who?!?' "

Click here to listen to the full interview with Martha Quinn. Or click here to subscribe to all our podcasts for free on iTunes.

Patrick Swayze wants you to be nice

Here's a theory you might not agree with: Patrick Swayze is perhaps the most underrated actor of the 80s.

Swayze, who turns 55 years old today, appeared in 11 movies, six TV shows and two mini-series during the decade. And yet he's best known for perhaps his least impressive role -- dance instructor "Johnny Castle" (worst ... name ... ever) in 1987's "Dirty Dancing."

I say "least impressive" not because of Swayze's performance. He makes the most of the slop the screenwriters served up to him. "OK, Mr. Swayze, we want you to play a tough-guy dance instructor. ... Stop laughing, Patrick. ... Yes, we're serious. But here's the twist: You turn into a total crybaby wuss when you fall in love -- for no good reason -- with a daddy's girl named 'Baby' who isn't half as attractive as anybody you've dated before! Sound good? OK, well, do it for us anyway. Please? OK, we'll let you sing that ridiculous 'She's Like The Wind' song that they rejected in your 'Grandview USA' movie. Deal? Great!"

So forget Dirty Dancing now. We've come to praise Patrick Swayze, not to mock him.

5 reasons nobody puts Patrick Swayze in a corner:

5. Roadhouse (1989): "I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice."

4. Grandview, USA (1984): "Boy, you just discovered the oldest sexual position in the book. ... the Foolish position."

3. The Outsiders (1983): "You just don't stop living because you lose somebody. I thought you knew that."

2. Red Dawn (1984): "It's kind of strange, isn't it? How the mountains pay us no attention at all. You laugh or you cry... The wind just keeps on blowing."

1. Youngblood (1986): "Thank God there is a sport for middle-sized white boys."

Sadly, his best movie -- Point Break -- was in 1991, but I'll tip my hat to him anyway. And of course, let's not forget this classic clip from Saturday Night Live. Enjoy.

'Hey, wait a minute, there's no birthday party for me here!'

I don't care how many Oscars he wins or which leaders of rogue nations he has lunch with. He's plain old "Jeff Spicoli" to me. And that characterization would probably piss off Sean Penn more than anything.

Penn turns 47 today (though he doesn't look a day older than 50). In a relatively short period of time, he has accomplished the near-impossible: He is both the most talented yet grumpiest man in Hollywood. Still, 80s fans have given him a lifetime pardon for all his great work in the 80s, something I bet he takes no glee in.

Just this week, another movie website named his stoned surfing opus, "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," as one of "Seven Teen Sex Comedies That Don't Suck." (Other 80s flicks on the list: Revenge of the Nerds, Last American Virgin, Risky Business and Porky's. And I'm sorry, but aside from the "Why do you they call you Lassie" scene, Porky's is no masterpiece.)

When you look over his volume of work -- even his 80s stuff -- you realize this sobering fact: Sean Penn is not a comic actor. Does he even have fun anymore? Seemingly not. In a 2001 interview, Penn says he takes little enjoyment from the craft: "Acting is always a struggle, and now it's more of an emotional struggle because I don't enjoy it so much," he says.

So be it, Sean. Here's a list just for you.

Three Sean Penn movies from the 80s we don't enjoy so much:

3. Casualties of War (1989): One critic said, "... Don't let a little gore, misogyny, factbusting, counterfeit hipness ... get in your way. Enjoy Penn's actor imitations."

2. We're No Angels (1989): One critic said, "So few lines have been written for these actors that you almost believe that the script intentionally parodies their renowned inarticulateness."

1. Shanghai Surprise (1986): One critic said, "Sean Penn drunkenly mumbles his way through this period caper ... getting wrapped up in a plot to steal opium, or maybe jewels, or maybe an autographed baseball. I honestly have no idea, and I don't think Sean did, either." (Also #33 on the Worst Movies of the 80s list.)