Are we finally over Michael Jackson ... or just tired of zombie jokes?

First sign that the Michael Jackson story is no longer front-page news? Even the satirists and bloggers have stopped writing about him. (Umm, except this blog post. Don't I feel sheepish.)

The razor-sharp funny site MichaelJacksonisnowazombie.com hasn’t been updated since June 26.

“Looks like LaToya and Jermaine are going to be getting more of my stuff than I had specified in my will (WHICH WAS ZERO!!!!!),” the blogger named “MJ” wrote in one of the last entries. “This is NOT the news I needed to hear right now.”

Two other zombie sites — michaeljacksonisazombie.com and ismichaeljacksonazombie
yet.com — are merely shells now. (America is officially zombied out, we presume, or maybe they got some sternly worded letters from lawyers.)

But true to its name, Eternalmoonwalk.com is still online. But it remains to be seen how long can anyone really watch dance-challenged fans from Mexico City, Buenos Aires and elsewhere try to moonwalk for 10 feet.

Brooke Shields is back! Just as we predicted

Just hours after Stuck in the '80s predicted a big career boost for her after Michael Jackson's memorial service, Brooke Shields is making good on our prognostication.

Shields just inked a deal for her first movie in 10 YEARS. Yes, it's been a decade since her last mainstream screen appearance (1999's Black and White.)

Our beloved star of Blue Lagoon and Endless Love will co-star in a Furry Vengeance, The Hollywood Reporter says. The live-action family comedy will also star Brendan Fraser, Dick Van Dyke, Ken Jeong and Samantha Bee, THR says.

Mock if you must all the celebrity posing at Tuesday's memorial service at the Staples Center, but Shields had tears a-flowing during her brief time at the podium. It was the first real human moment of the day -- maybe the only depending on what you make of Paris Jackson's speech at the end -- and it was bound to remind us all of what we've been missing for 10 years.

TOP 5 BROOKE SHIELDS LINES FROM BLUE LAGOON:

5. "I've seen you playing with it, and I'll tell your father ... IF he ever gets here."

4. "When it stops hurting, we'll do it."

3. "It doesn't scare them off unless I can spear them! "

2. "You're the best at everything, Richard! Now get off!"

1. "You're always staring at my buppies."

[Getty Images]

5 winners, 5 losers from Jackson's memorial

Corey Feldman is seriously reconsidering his life's direction today after his M.J. impersonation at Tuesday's public memorial for Michael Jackson. But he's not the only celebrity who busted -- or even benefited -- from the ultra-hot world spotlight that afternoon.

TOP 5 BOUNCES:

1. JERMAINE JACKSON: The only Jackson brother to perform, he dazzled the crowd with his rendition of Smile, holding himself together perfectly until the final verse. Look for his hibernating solo career to get some fresh looks in the aftermath.

2. BROOKE SHIELDS: Ever since Tom Cruise attacked her for using prescription drugs to battle postpartum depression, Shields has seen a steady increase of public support. You bet folks were grabbing tissue as she struggled to hold her composure while speaking of her longtime friendship with Michael.

3. JENNIFER HUDSON: Forget the hokeyness of hearing Jackson’s spoken lyrics at the end of Hudson’s anthemic rendition of Will You Be There. After the 2008 murders of her mother and brother, the American Idol angel and Oscar winner -- baby bump showing -- is having a much better 2009.

4. LIONEL RICHIE: Just two days off an unexpected reunion with his Commodores bandmates in New Orleans, Richie took the stage in L.A. and delivered a classic, gospel take on his old hit Jesus Is Love.

5. SHAHEEN JAFARGHOLI/JUDITH HILL: Two names you probably hadn’t heard before, but you will now. Jarafgholi, 12, was a contestant on Britain’s Got Talent earlier this year. He won a standing ovation Tuesday for his take on Who’s Lovin You? (And he got his picture taken with Lionel Richie, above.) Hill was the “mystery singer” who led performers during We Are the World and Heal the World. The Pasadena, Calif., vocalist was to be a backup singer for Jackson’s shows this summer, according to Rolling Stone.

TOP 5 BUSTS:

1. MARIAH CAREY: It’s not that her duet of I’ll Be There with Trey Lorenz wasn’t perfect — it wasn’t and that’s something she admitted Wednesday on Twitter. But we bet there’s no apology coming for her neckline-plunging gown that wasn’t exactly funeral friendly. Mariah, it’s a memorial; not a music video.

2. DIANA ROSS: The person who has always been credited (deserved or not) for “discovering Michael” should have been there in the front row. “I have decided to pause and be silent,” Ross said in a statement. “This feels right for me.” It feels wrong to us.

3. QUINCY JONES: The producer behind Off the Wall and Thriller also skipped the memorial. “I won’t go to any more funerals as long as I live,” Jones said after Jackson’s death. Okay, Mr. Jones. Let’s hope your friends feel differently.

4. USHER: The neo-soul singer’s performance of Gone Too Soon took a turn for the worse when he started singing directly to Jackson’s casket. And the pause at the end to stifle a sob, followed by a group hug with the Jackson family? Even Hollywood wouldn’t buy that scripted ending.

5. COREY FELDMAN: The '80s teen star/reality show reject just tried TOO hard to fit in, wearing a full-on M.J. wardrobe including fedora, dark shades and military-style jacket. We bet he had to get his ticket through the lottery.

[AP, Getty photos]

More celeb death rumors: Now it's Jeff Goldblum and Harrison Ford!

Only hours after news broke about Michael Jackson's death, the Internet is buzzing with rumors that both Jeff Goldblum and Harrison Ford died Thursday.

Only one website is reporting Goldblum's death -- and their site isn't currently up and running. Still, the rumor is that he fell to his death on the set of a movie in New Zealand. Here's another mention. However, his page on Wikipedia reports that the news is a hoax.

Screencrave.com also insists its a hoax: "Police National Head Quarters in New Zealand  told 3 News they know nothing about the claims and have not had any reports of such an incident in Northland. They say similar rumors were circulating six to eight weeks ago and believe it’s false information."

Another website reports that Twitter posts indicate Harrison Ford died today, but again nobody else is reporting it or passing it along.

Both Ford and Goldblum are currently filming the movie Morning Glory, which only two days ago was being shot in New York City, according to one more reputable website. So chances that either actor are dead in New Zealand or anywhere else seem nearly impossible.

There was a similar rumor about Tom Hanks dying in 2006.

The Twitter website is crawling pretty slow with all the Jackson news flying around, so it's nearly impossible to check the sources. But stay tuned as we try to figure it all out.

Everyman throwdown: Paul Rudd vs. Paul Reiser

Here's a theory for you non-'80s fans out there: You would have no Paul Rudd to worship today without Paul Reiser's impact in the '80s.

For years actually, I confused the two comedic actors, because it almost seems like Reiser faded away from starring roles about the same time Rudd started to grab them for himself. Never mind that they share the same first names, hairstyles and nearly the same soft-sale touch on wit.

They also both play the same characters: A pleasant looking guy who's (usually) happily in love with a woman who's (usually) sane while still being the trusty (discreet) wingman to a saltier cast of guy friends.

Reiser made his mark back in 1982 with Diner (trailer), costarring a whole lot of other "weren't they so great back then" actors like Kevin Bacon, Mickey Rourke, Daniel Stern and Steve Guttenberg. People remember the popcorn bucket scene with Rourke, but what I took away from Diner were the zingers from Reiser. "You know what word I'm not comfortable with? Nuance. It's not a real word." And the brilliant ... "We all know most marriages depend on a firm grasp of football trivia."

Take either of those lines and drop them on Rudd's "David" character in 40-Year-Old Virgin. Seemless, right? They could be spoken with total believability by either actor.

After Diner and his tiny role as "Jeffrey," Axel Foley's Detroit sidekick in Beverly Hills Cop, Reiser didn't really find his niche until the late '80s and '90s, when he was all over the big screen and TV in My Two Dads (mini-sode), Mad About You, Aliens and Bye Bye Love. (trailer)

Today he's no doubt celebrating his 52nd birthday, but he seems to be taking a prolonged break from the movie biz. Maybe it's because Rudd and Reiser are the Superman and Clark Kent of comedy and can't be in the same place at the same time. 

Judd Apatow, do us all a favor. Cast them both in the same movie. Big brother, little brother. Whatever it takes. Time to find out which actor wears the cape.

FIVE MORE GREAT PAUL REISER LINES:

5."We can't level, you crazy bastard, we're in advertising!" (Crazy People)

4."You know what the odds are on that? Impossible to one." (The Marrying Man)

3. "It's a very awkward age for girls. ... 13 to 35, very awkward." (Bye Bye Love)

2. "This is not my office!" (Beverly Hills Cop II)

1. "This is not my locker!" (Beverly Hills Cop)

Bye Belinda Carlisle: Heave-ho for Go-Go

Belinda Carlisle is no washed-up celebrity or reality-show reject, so her inclusion on Dancing With the Stars probably baffled a lot of '80s fans.

Still, we're a little sad that the Go-Go's singer was bounced last night from the mysteriously popular dancing contest show/shame fest.

Times media critic and frequent Stuck in the '80s guest host Eric Deggans offers up some rationale on her premature dismissal from his Feed blog: "Carlisle committed three unforgiveable Dancing sins: a) She was boring (at least cry for the camera like Denise Richards, girlfriend!). b) She was a hopelessly mediocre dancer, with the added appeal of drowning in buckets of self loathing once her dance was over. And c) She looked like she'd rather be listening to a 10-CD Bangles box set than dragging her clunky behind around the dance floor."

("Clunky behind?!?" Our lips are sealed.)

For the record, another '80s icon lives to fight on: Apple Computer co-founder Steve Wozniak will stick around for another week or so. The Woz will always have our admiration for organizing the US Festivals back in 1982 and '83. Without those concerts, I would have never discovered Oingo Boingo.

[Publicity photo]

Bucs star loves 'Teen Wolf' way too much

In the land of Unlikely '80s News, we have this: Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive end Greg White has legally changed his name to ... Stylez G. White.

To answer the obvious question -- why!?! -- White told the Associated Press that he no longer liked his own name, but really liked the name Michael J. Fox's best friend in the 1985 movie Teen Wolf.

Rupert "Stiles" Stilinski was played by Jerry Levine. Though Levine also appeared in '80s flicks such as Iron Eagle, Casual Sex and Born on the Fourth of July, he is probably better know today for his directing talents, having lent his skills to TV's Monk, Everybody Hates Chris and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

But never mind all that. Here's the important question: If you could legally change your name to that of an '80s movie character, which would you choose?

Here are some obvious candidates:

BENDER: Ah yes, Judd Nelson's character in 1985's The Breakfast Club. Maybe then you'd figure out the end of his infamous joke, "Naked blond walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a 2-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says ..."

MONTY or MELLON: Pick between Rodney Dangerfield's monikers in either Easy Money or Back to School. Either way, your character ended up a millionaire.

BLANE: Sure, Andrew McCarthy's name in Pretty in Pink sounds more like a major appliance, but that's not the point, is it? ... Or is it? Well, he dressed nice anyway.

LACEY UNDERALL: So with that name, you think maybe they were trying to typecast Cindy Morgan in 1980's Caddyshack? "Would you like to tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?"

APOLLONIA: Gotta love 1984's Purple Rain. What other flick would turn Prince into "The Kid"? Morris Day into "Morris"? And of course, Apollonia Kotero into just ... "Apollonia"? Just stay away from Lake Minnetonka.

Go ahead and pick your own '80s character name. (I'm leaning toward Optimus Prime myself.)

Crash Davis loves the Tampa Bay Rays

No worries that Kevin Costner will ever star in a musical remake of Bull Durham or Field of Dreams. Because as a singer, Costner makes for a really great actor.

Costner and his band Modern West have just recorded a song for the Tampa Bay Rays to celebrate their AL East division title.

Called It's All Up To You, the song sounds like a typical honky-tonk rocker and features lyrics that begin, "You got to swing for the fence. Give a hundred percent. Dust yourself off. Get up and do it again."

Click here to listen to the complete song. Modern West and Costner played a live show in St. Petersburg back in November 2007 when the Rays unveiled their redesigned uniforms.

TOP 5 BASEBALL MOVIES LINES FROM KEVIN COSTNER:

5. "Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic." (Bull Durham)

4. "I can't think of a better reason not to be a Yankee." (For Love of the Game)

3. "God, I always said I would never bother you about baseball, lord knows you have bigger things to worry about. But if you could make this pain in my shoulder stop for ten minutes, I would really appreciate it." (For Love of the Game)

2. "Well, #$%& this #$%&ing game!" (Bull Durham)

1. "Dad ... you wanna have a catch?" (Field of Dreams)

Her birthday wish: Name of a good lawyer

Oh, this isn't good. Heather Locklear was arrested over the weekend on suspicion of driving under the influence in Montecito, Calif., according to the Los Angeles Times.

Locklear, who turned 47 years old last week, was arrested by the California Highway Patrol -- hey, CHiPs! -- after someone called 911 to report a woman driving "erratically."

Define "erratic"? Locklear reportedly drove "back and forth over a pair of sunglasses on the pavement and revving her engine. After leaving the parking lot, she stopped her car on the street and stumbled into the traffic lane, according to the caller, who followed Locklear out of concern," the Times reports.

Locklear was tested for alcohol consumption, but the tests were negative. Results are pending on other drug tests.

[Booking photo via Associated Press]

Wild Thing, you make our hearts sing

Can you imagine calling this guy by any other name? Hey, Charles! Chuckie, my man! Yo, Chick-ster!

No, that's Charlie Sheen -- and Charlie only, thank you. (Nevermind that he was born Carlos Irwin Estévez, of course.)

And Mr. C. Sheen turns 43 years old today. Seems like only yesterday he was divorcing Hollywood starlets while remarrying the next future ex-Mrs. Sheen. (Oh, wait, that was yesterday.)

It's hard to believe that out of the Martin Sheen/Emilio Estevez/Charlie Sheen family troika, it'd be Charlie who'd make the biggest mark in the '80s. (Well, once you throw the movie "Lucas" out of the equation!)

Happy birthday, Wild Thing. Here's wishing you a nice 365 days spent hopefully far away from family affairs court.

TOP 5 CHARLIE SHEEN ROLES OF THE 80s:

5. RED DAWN (1984): "You're getting pretty low on feelings, aren't you?"

4. WALL STREET (1987): "Blue Horse Shoe loves Anacot Steel."

3. PLATOON (1986): "Have you ever gotten into a mistake that you just can't get out of?"

2. FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF (1986): "You wear too much eye makeup. My sister wears too much. People think she's a whore."

1. MAJOR LEAGUE (1989): "You put snot on the ball?"