Behold the actual homes from 'Better Off Dead'

Our Stuck in the '80s paparazzi is back on the prowl, this time shooting photos of the houses from 1985's Better Off Dead. Brad Williams, our SoCal correspondent, files this report:

I'm starting to feel a bit like a stalker. Nobody was around at the "Ricky Smith" house (right, at 1633 Virginia Avenue in Glendale, Calif.), but it looked like the owner had just gotten home at the "Lane Meyer" home (above, right across the street at 1636 Virginia Avenue in Glendale).

The interior of the garage is visible in the shot - I don't know if they used the house itself or just the exteriors in Better Off Dead, but if they did, that's where Lane Meyer first attempted to off himself in the movie.

I snapped a couple pictures from the middle of the street and headed back to my car before the owner emerged to question me.

The trees in the front of the house have been added since the film was shot, and a pull-through driveway cuts across where Lane's Camaro sat in an "auto cocoon," but the house is otherwise recognizable. No homemade space shuttles burst from the roof in the brief time I was there.

The "Smith" house looks just as I remember it from the film, with the big trees in the front and the small porch/stoop where Monique sat and laughed at Ricky's picture, although the lawn was a little ragged.

Enjoy!
-- Brad

'I gave her my heart ... she gave me a pen:' Listen to the saddest podcast ever

The one truly awful thing about every Cameron Crowe movie, like 1989's Say Anything featuring everybody's favorite broken heart - John Cusack as "Lloyd Dobler," is that behind the laughs, behind the tears, one thing remains constant:

This could happen to you.

Try watching his 2005 flick Elizabethtown when you know your own father has less than a year to live, like I did a while back, and try not to cry. Turn on 1992's Singles as a young person still trying to find how to suddenly balance your career and your heart, and say it's just comedy. Flip on Vanilla Sky if ... well, if you've been hopelessly disfigured in a car crash instigated by some stalking ex-lover, I guess. (Sorry, I never could relate to that one. But knock on wood, I hope that's not a bad omen.)

But look again at Lloyd Dobler's face as he confesses total and absolute love for Diane Court (Ione Skye) only to see her break up with him and hand him a pen, and you always say to yourself: "Man, I hope that never happens to me."

And then watch it happen to you.

So life isn't like the movies? The hell it isn't. 

[This week's podcast is about Breaking Up in the '80s and Beyond. It does feature a very special celebrity guest, so stick with it through the pain. Click here to listen. Or click here to hear all our shows for free on iTunes.]

John Cusack is on Twitter

With all due respect to celebri-clowns like Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, what the world needs most right now is John Cusack on Twitter.

Mission accomplished. "Lloyd Dobler" might be hard at work in Vancouver working on The Hot Tub Time Machine with co-star Rob Corddry, but he's taking time out to occasionally tweet about life on set. He does seem to be trying to stay somewhat anonymous, so Cusack has chosen the Twitter name "shockozulu."

"Saw Corrdrey. Said hello-- He screamed 'snafu u warbler!!!!' and skittered away in a carazy darting dance. I finally understand him now," Cusack tweeted earlier today.

Other updates make slightly less sense. "We are all -- as a dead writer put it --- lords of our tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the center of all creation," he wrote this morning.

Right now, Cusack/Shockozulu has about 6,000 followers, including Stuck in the '80s of course. He's following just 35 people, but they include Oprah, Al Gore, Danny Glover, George Stephanopoulos and Diablo Cody.

Sign of the apocalypse: John Cusack in an apocalypse movie

John Cusack's been good to us over the last 25 years or so. Even after 1989's Say Anything, when he put his foot down and refused any more roles in high school flicks, he's done right by the '80s nation.

Movies like High Fidelity, Being John Malkovich, Max and True Colors kept the love affair going (even in the face of paycheck-only flicks like America's Sweethearts, Con Air and Serendipity).

So what are we left to think about his next movie coming out in November -- the ambiguously titled 2012. (Simmer down, Rush fans, it's 2012, not 2112 ... though maybe that's a better idea.) I almost thought it was a joke a first -- a takeoff on 1408, his horror flick from a few years ago.

A new trailer has just been released on Yahoo Movies, and after watching it, you'll get the feeling it's time for John to pay some bills again. In the movie, humanity is fighting for survival against Armageddon, as forecasts of a global apocalypse seem to be coming true. It if looks and feels exactly like Independence Day or The Day After Tomorrow, then congratulate yourself on your keen observation skills: It was written by Roland Emmerich, who had his hands on those other two flicks as well.

I'll probably skip this movie in the theaters and save my money for The Hot Tub Time Machine in 2010.

TOP 5 JOHN CUSACK BOMBS:

5.ONE CRAZY SUMMER (1986): I'll get some guff for putting this movie on the list, but it was totally unwatchable to me then and today. But I still love writer/director Savage Steve Holland (Better Off Dead, How I Got Into College). [Trailer]

4. PUSHING TIN (1999): You rock as an air traffic controller with a bad case of infidelity. But Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie send this movie on a nose-drive. [Trailer]

3. SERENDIPITY (2001): Your childhood buddy Jeremy Piven as a co-star works wonders in Say Anything and Grosse Pointe Blank, but even "Ari Gold" can't get the saccharine taste out of our mouths after seeing this rom-com disaster. [Trailer]

2. THE ROAD TO WELLVILLE (1994): Incredible cast (Anthony Hopkins, Bridget Fonda, Matthew Broderick, Dana Carvey, Colm Meaney) but here's good advice: Stay away from scripts involving enemas. [Trailer]

1. AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS (2001): Ultimate proof that Julia Roberts is the most overrated actress of the last 30 years. This lame script also sucked in Billy Crystal, Hank Azaria, Stanley Tucci, Christopher Walken, Alan Arkin and Seth Green. But nobody could stomach seeing "Lloyd Dobler" coupled with Catherine Zeta-Jones (especially after you figured out she was a slut in High Fidelity the year before!) [Trailer]

Chevy Chase jumps into 'Hot Tub' with John Cusack

Remember all the earlier talk about the new John Cusack movie, The Hot Tub Time Machine? The movie has already started filming in Vancouver, and Cusack will have the added star power of another '80s hero: Chevy Chase.

The script follows a group of guys going through mid-life angst who are catapulted back to 1987 after hopping into their hot tub. According to the Hollywood Reporter, Chase plays "a mysterious repairman who dispenses pearls of wisdom and may or may not be behind the metaphysical road trip."

Sounds a little like Christopher Walken in Click or Don Knotts in Pleasantville. But we have faith that Chase will put his unique turn on the role.

If you can't get enough Chevy Chase, here's more good news: Chase is set to star in NBC's new TV series Community, playing a community college student "carrying more divorces than classes," says THR.

TOP 5 CHEVY CHASE LINES OF THE '80s:

5. "You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body." (Caddyshack)

4. "Their requests for subsidies was not Paraguayan in and of it is as it were the United States government would never have if the president, our president, had not and as far as I know that's the way it will always be. Is that clear?" (Spies Like Us)

3. "I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose!" (Vacation)

2. "Do you have anything here besides Mexican food?" (The Three Amigos)

1. "You using the whole fist, Doc?" (Fletch)

John Cusack's top 10 girlfriends: What would Lloyd Dobler do?

John Cusack's "Lloyd Dobler" character in Say Anything is generally regarded as one of the top two fantasy boyfriends of the '80s. The other? "Jake Ryan" (Michael Schoeffling) from Sixteen Candles, of course. But let's turn the tables and answer this: Who was the best girlfriend for John Cusack?

Now don't go running off and say Ione Skye, also from Say Anything. She's just one of SIX prominent girlfriends that Cusack's characters had during our decade. Feel free to suggest changes to the ranking, but here's my official list.

JOHN CUSACK'S TOP 5 GIRLFRIENDS OF THE '80s:

5. DAPHNE ZUNIGA (The Sure Thing): Cusack taught her to shot-gun a beer and flash her breasts to passing motorists ("Come to mama, boys!"), but the ice princess didn't thaw until the final act. [Trailer]

4. IONE SKYE (Say Anything): Super cute, but he gave her his heart and she gave him a pen. And it's not even totally clear at the end whether she needs him or just needs somebody. Skye was similarly cold-hearted in the much-underappreciated flick The Rachel Papers. [Trailer]

3. LAURA DERN (Fat Man and Little Boy): Ah-ha. Bet you forgot this 1989 film about the Manhattan Project. Cusack plays a physicist who falls in love with Dern, before suffering an agonizing death when he mishandles radioactive material.[Scene]

2. WENDY GAZELLE (Hot Pursuit): Again, an obscure pick and a long-forgotten name. But Wendy rules as the lovesick girlfriend pining for Cusack, who is desperately trying to catch up to her during a vacation in the Caribbean.

1. DIANE FRANKLIN (Better Off Dead): She crushed Gary's heart in Last American Virgin but she was by the side of "Lane Meyer" throughout everyone's favorite '80s cult classic, teaching him skiing, the international language of love and the most important lesson of all: "If something gets in your way, turn."

Who was left off: That'd be Demi Moore from 1986's One Crazy Summer. Sorry, gang, but the only movie where Demi is a decent girlfriend is About Last Night.

John Cusack finally goes back to the '80s

John Cusack is set to go back in time in the new movie Hot Tub Time Machine. Yeah, rotten name, but wait 'til you hear the story line.

Cusack and Rob Corddry are the stars in the forthcoming MGM comedy, which focuses on a group of friends who revisit the stomping grounds of their youth -- a ski lodge, according to Artistdirect.com. Here's where it gets interesting. The friends hop into a hot tub that turns out to be a time machine, taking them all back to the year 1987!

Entertainment Weekly says Hot Tub Time Machine will be directed by Steve Pink, who cowrote the subpar Grosse Pointe Blank and brilliant High Fidelity. The movie is planned for a 2010 release.

It's nice to see Cusack re-embracing a decade that he's seemingly worked so hard to ignore for 20 years. (Read this piece where he dissects his '80s work). EW blogger Mandi Bierly says it could be one of Cusack's best career moves. "Going back to the '80s, the decade he owned and can now poke fun at lovingly, in a high-concept male comedy that feels like it might have a Better Off Dead vibe? Kinda genius."

[Publicity photo: Must Love Dogs]

'80s headlines for 2009

The new year is barely a week old and already I'm thinking of 2010, when I can write up a brilliant (and largely unappreciated) summary of the '80s-related news of 2009. Here are just some of the headlines I'm hoping for:

• MTV returns to pre-1985 programming schedule
• Oingo Boingo reunites for annual Halloween show in Tampa Bay
• Martha Quinn joins as full-time co-host of Stuck in the '80s podcast
• Police burn stash of Members Only jackets found in Detroit suburb
• Members Only fan club burns stash of Police albums found in Detroit suburb
• John Cusack agrees to sequels for Say Anything, Better Off Dead, The Sure Thing
• Annabeth Gish becomes assistant '80s blogger for tampabay.com
• Vegas Girlfriend becomes Vegas Roommate
• Brat Pack to star in modern remake of Chariots of Fire
• Ione Skye agrees to become assistant to assistant '80s blogger for tampabay.com
• ZZ Top members wake up in Clearwater hotel and find beards shaved
• Times pop music critic survives miracle beard transplant surgery; thanks ZZ Top
• Madonna calls it quits from music career; 'I suck now' she confesses
• Bryan Adams releases box set of '80s hits, tentatively called "I'm sorry, Steve. I do love the '80s."

Anybody else have an '80s wish for 2009?

'It's a new day in America'

TODAY'S RETRO-REVIEW: The best politics movie of the '80s didn't take place in the '80s at all. It's 1991's True Colors, starring John Cusack and James Spader. If you haven't seen it, promote it to the top of your rental queue. Now.

THE PLOT: Two people from different sides of the track find themselves as roommates in law school. One (Cusack) is looking for any shortcuts to elected office, which he believes can absolve him of a working class upbringing he'd rather forget. The other (Spader) aspires to use his law degree to fight the type of corruption that his friend is so willing to embrace.

MAYBE YOU REMEMBER: This would be the final film appearance for actor Richard Widmark, who plays an aging senator and father-in-law to Cusack.

SURELY YOU CAN'T FORGET: Mandy Patinkin is brilliant as the corrupt  "John Palmieri," a man whose crime connections guide Cusack to the brink of becoming a U.S. Representative.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID: "The movie ... follows a predictable formula, but occasionally overcomes it through the skill of its acting, which redeems several scenes that seem to have been constructed out of durable Victorian novels." -- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times.

WHY WE LOVE IT: It's the little things. Like Cusack playing a villain of sorts, and Spader playing the good guy. Not to mention the bit parts executed to perfection, like Imogen Stubbs' turn as the senator's daughter whose love conveniently moves from one friend to the other. Those treats, along with a nicely gift-wrapped ending, make this a can't-miss political flick.

TOP 5 MEMORABLE QUOTES FROM 'TRUE COLORS':

5. "My father had a saying, that friendship is like morning dew. It settles on some roses, and it settles on some dog s--t."

4. "You know the old saying in Washington: There are only two things that can ruin your career, getting caught with a live boy or a dead girl."

3. "They say great men are embraced by thousands of strangers. I wanna be great."

2. "We may not always get what we want. We may not always get what we need. Just so's we don't get what we deserve!"

1. "It's a new day in America: Don't ... get ... caught."

Back to work, Gib!

Poor John Cusack. I finally know how he feels. See you again at Thanksgiving, "Nicollette."

On a somewhat related note, my long-vanished DVD copy of The Sure Thing was unearthed over the weekend (oddly enough while looking for my still-missing copy of Woody Allen's Manhattan).

This next part is a bit embarrassing. The Sure Thing was wedged between Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex and Last American Virgin, thus confirming everyone's worst fear: Yes, I do have an entire shelf of '80s sex movies in the Spears Lair.

While I get busy here at work dealing with this weekend's podcast and preparing for next week's surprise topic, here's a quickie top 5 list.

TOP 5 LINES FROM BIT CHARACTERS IN 'THE SURE THING':

5. "I had some more fried food for lunch. I know, I know, I shouldn't have had it but I just couldn't help myself. Do you think I lack self-discipline?"

4. "Hi, I'm Gary Cooper, but not the Gary Cooper that's dead."

3. "Thoughts raced through his mind. Did she really want him? What had he done to deserve this bounty? Does God exist? Who invented liquid soap and why?"

2. "I was in Paris once with my wife... boy am I glad she's dead."

1. "I hope you appreciate the magnitude of your impending good fortune."