'Thriller' really livens them up

Contestants from the Bravo TV series "Step It Up and Dance" perform at the  Tribeca Film Festival. Click here to see their performance video. [Getty Images]

Another day, another 80s anniversary. This time, we mark the 25th anniversary of the landmark "Thriller" video by Michael Jackson.

MJ fans in New York tried to create "the world's largest zombie disco" this week by staging a mass dance exhibition at the Tribeca Film Festival. Among those in attendance, video director John Landis and Jacko choreographer Vincent Patterson, who tried to coach a few steps for the masses assembled.

Rollingstone.com reports the "disco" never really happened: "But the night was electric nonetheless due to the carnival atmosphere, a big-screen outdoor screening of 'Thriller' and 'The Making Of Michael Jackson’s Thriller 'and just witnessing the awe that classic Michael Jackson still inspires in fans all these decades later."

A few more "Thriller" factoids:

• In 1999, MTV ranked it as the best video of all time. No surprise. (The real surprise: Madonna's "Vogue" is No. 2?!?)
• With a budget of $800,000, it was the most expensive music video made at that time. (Jackson would later spend more than that for four future videos.)
• The 45-minute "Making Of" video was filmed largely so that -- paired with the 15-minute video -- it could be sold in stores.
• Both the "Thriller" video and Landis' other opus -- "An American Werewolf in London" -- offer the same disclaimer at the end of the credits: "Any similarity to actual events or persons living, dead, (or undead) is purely coincidental."

Blog battle: 'Thriller' vs. 'Off The Wall'

Tuesday marks the release of "Thriller 25" -- the epic, 25th anniversary edition of Michael Jackson's landmark album. Cause for celebration? Sure. (Break out the winecoolers and pudding pops.)

But it seems some people out there think the original 1982 album is a RUNNER-UP to other M.J.'s other work. (Unless they're talking about his cosmetic work, I'm baffled.)

By some people, I could only mean Sean Daly, a music critic who's more machine now than man -- twisted and evil. Daly claims that 1979's "Off The Wall" is the real opus. So you know what that means...

BLOG BATTLE ... battalion style. I think it's demented and social (but social) that I even have to explain the rationale here, but Daly's a glutton for punishment -- and for fresh lamb chops, not that this is relevant here, but the guy smells like a Irish butcher shop most days of the week.

Read Sean's sad case first, then read this, you pretty young thing!

TOP 3 REASONS THRILLER IS THE ULTIMATE MICHAEL JACKSON DISC:

3. THE NUMBERS: Number of people who own "Thriller" -- approximately 105-million and counting. Number of people who own "Off The Wall" -- three ... Sean Daly, the roller skating rink down the road and Stevie Wonder (who thought he was buying a copy of "Thriller.")

2. THE TUNES: Nobody woos the opposite sex to "She's Out of My Life" -- except maybe Kenny G or Macaulay Culkin. The rest of us queue up "Human Nature," which is like Spanish Fly to our species. And "Wanna Be Startin' Something" trumps any disco-ridden track on the earlier disc for drawing people to the dance floor. Remember, "Thriller" had SEVEN top-10 singles. And a video for the title song features dance moves that are as ingrained in western culture as anything short of indoor plumbing and microwave popcorn.

1. PRIMO MICHAEL: On the cover the "Off The Wall," Michael looks like Eriq La Salle from "Coming to America" ("Just let your Soul Glo!"). Is that the Michael everyone loves? No, M.J. in 1982 was in his prime -- red leather pants, single glove, slightly smaller nose (but nobody complained.) He christened the Moonwalk to "Billie Jean" -- not "Burn This Disco Out." And Weird Al chose to lampoon "Beat It" -- not "Rock With You."

You know why? Because when it comes to 80s classics, even Weird Al knows that this album can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try.

'Tell them that it's Human Nature'

Tomorrow is the release of "Thriller 25" -- the silver anniversary edition of Michael Jackson's 1982 "Thriller" album. And if you weren't already planning to listen to M.J. non-stop this week, here's another reason:

No mere mortal can resist the evil of MJ

Did you think you could throw a Super Bowl and NOT invite Michael Jackson? ("You close your eyes, and hope that this is just imagination.")

Wacko Jacko is rumored to be the star of a commercial airing during the game celebrating the 25th anniversary of his "Thriller" album, according to the New York Post. Jackson will appear in a Thriller-themed spot for SoBe Life Water, the beverage made by PepsiCo, which Jackson was so infamously pimping back in 1983 when his hair caught on fire.

But will his career catch back on fire? (Ouch.) The Post also says Jackson will appear on the Grammy Awards on Feb. 10. Meanwhile, his official website has been redesigned to focus on his landmark album.

TOP 5 MICHAEL JACKSON ONE-LINERS FOUND ON THE WEB:

• "If you play Thriller backwards, you can hear Michael confessing all the names of the boys he touched. That's why it is 14 minutes long."
• "It was reported the other day that Michael Jackson wants to be one of the first civilians to travel into space. A spokesperson for NASA said, 'We're fine with the idea but the only problem is Jackson insists on coming back'."
• "Michael decided to have a boy of his own because it's too expensive to rent them at $2-million a pop."
• "Michael Jackson had a boy. He also became a father!"
• "He told you he was 'Off the Wall', that he was a 'Thriller', that he was 'Bad' and that he was 'Dangerous'.  Next album will be called "Don't say I didn't warn you.' "

[AP photo]

Another "Thriller" coming soon

Michael Jackson is releasing a 25th anniversary edition of his 1982 opus "Thriller" on Feb. 12. The new disc will include eight new tracks and a DVD featuring videos of the big hits and his infamous "Billie Jean" performance on the Motown TV special.

According to Variety.com, five of the bonus tracks have never been released. They include a "Billie Jean" remix by Kanye West, a new versions of "Wanna Be Startin' Something," "The Girl Is Mine" and "P.Y.T." A tune called "Carousel," which was supposed to be on the original album, is also on the new disc.

Remember, you can listen to our Thriller podcast by clicking here to learn everything you want to know about the disc and Sean Daly's dysfunctional friend who did a special Michael Jackson tribute dance back in school. Classic story.

'Thriller' turns 25

When you're growing up in the 80s, there are some things you feel you can imagine happening in the future. Flying cars. Colonies on Mars. The Cubs in the World Series. Concert tickets costing hundreds of dollars. (Sadly, only the last one is true.)

But yet it feels entirely surreal to think that TODAY marks the 25th anniversary of the release of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" album. Wasn't it just yesterday I was trying to moonwalk in my Converse high-tops? (Yeah, I know NOW that you need a smooth sole.)

The album's stats are eye-popping. More than 100-million in worldwide sales. Seven top-10 singles. Eight Grammy awards. And it all happened while M.J. was still on his first nose-job. Staggering!

To celebrate, download our Thriller podcast -- one of the Stuck in the 80s episodes that we still consider to be our best work. In it, you'll hear the Vincent Price's previously unreleased second stanza of the "Thriller" poem, Quincy Jones' amazing story about getting Eddie Van Halen to play on "Beat It" ... and Sean Daly's first reference to my "hairy knuckle pursuits" of young ladies.

Click here to listen. Or click here to get all our podcasts for free via iTunes.

It's Michael Jackson's birthday!

If Michael Jackson wasn't the creepiest human on the planet, his 49th birthday would probably be a pay-per-view event. Sadly, it's just an excuse to post some jokes found on the Internet...

Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy !!

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalog.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
A: One is made out of plastic and is dangerous for kids to play with and one is used to carry groceries.

LYRIC QUIZ: Can you name these Michael Jackson songs?
1. "I've learned that love needs expression. But I learned too late."
2. "Just put your trust in my heart. And meet me in paradise."
3. "There was a time I used to say girl I need you. But who is sorry now."
4. "I think I told you, I'm a lover not a fighter."
5. "A lot of people misunderstand me. That's because they don't know me at all."

'The Thriller' in Manila

I know what you're thinking: Is that really 1,500 Filipino inmates doing Michael Jackson's Thriller dance? Yes, yes it is. Complete with one inmate who volunteered -- presumably -- to be the female.

From what I've been about to find out, this is at the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in Cebu, Philippines. Reports are that the prisoners enjoy a variety of unusual programs including the use of personal savings accounts to save money for legal fees or their families on the outside. The music routines are part of a physical fitness regime that stresses discipline and music.

And if you read between the lines in the song's lyrics, it really is the perfect song for prisoners to perform:

"You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run.
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun.
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination.
But all the while you hear the creature creepin' up behind."

40 songs that changed the world

Rolling Stone magazine, in its 40th anniversary edition, has published a list of 40 songs that changed the world. And what do you know ... some are even from the 80s. Click here for the full list.

"That's Alright" by the always-overrated Elvis Presley was No. 1 on the list. You have to go all the way down to No. 10 to get a truly worthy song -- "Like a Rolling Stone" by Bob Dylan. (Though it appears the ranking is actually chronological, which dimishes its impact already.)
 

But overall, I think they picked a fair number from the 80s, even if the selection themselves are sometimes suspect. Here they are, along with their rank among the top 40:

28. "TV Party" - Black Flag
29. "Billie Jean" - Michael Jackson
30. "When Doves Cry" - Prince.
31. "Pride (In The Name of Love)" - U2
32. "Like a Virgin" - Madonna
33. "Walk This Way" - Run DMC/Aerosmith
34. "Just Like Heaven" - The Cure
35. "Sweet Child O' Mine" - Guns N Roses
36. "Bring The Noise" - Public Enemy

I'm surprised that neither "Do They Know It's Christmastime" by Band-Aid nor "We Are The World" by USA for Africa made the list. It makes you wonder what "changed the world" meant in the eyes of Rolling Stone's editors. These are songs that may have changed music history but not world history.

That being said, I can live without "TV Party." But add Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and replace "Like a Virgin" with "Material Girl" -- the real anthem of the 80s.

Other artists who deserve to be there: The Replacements, AC/DC, Peter Gabriel, The Dead Kennedys and REM. Bands from outside the 80s that didn't make the list include The Doors, The Who and Pink Floyd. So it wasn't just the 80s that is oddly represented.

Sin City? Wait 'til Jacko settles in

Which one of these things hasn't made a home in Las Vegas: Gambling, organized crime, legalized prostitution, year-round Celine Dion shows and Michael Jackson.

Ah, trick question. The correct answer is legalized prostitution, which happens to be illegal in Clark County (where Vegas is), but is legal elsewhere in Nevada.

So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Wacko Jacko is now the newest resident of Sin City (how appropriate). Reports on the web indicate that Jackson is mulling offers to perform at some of the larger casinos.

No further details are available yet on exact offers, so allow Stuck in the 80s to hypothesize a little:

The resort: Excalibur
The pitch: Given Michael's "attraction" to young children, this family-friendly resort with the King Arthur theme might be an inappropriate match. But maybe if repackaged as "Spend the Knight with Michael," it'd work.
Odds of signing a deal: Better luck at Keno

The resort: Imperial Palace
The pitch: Home to the strip's best celebrity impersonator show, Imperial Palace can send his look-alike to fill in for him on nights when Jacko doesn't want to leave his oxygen cocoon.
Odds of signing a deal: Fortune cookie says "Don't hold your breath."

The resort: The Venetian
The pitch: Already home to the Phantom of the Opera musical, Jackson could just step in, borrow the mask and play the phantom any time he felt like it. No makeup now required for the ghastly expression when the mask is removed.
Odds of signing a deal: Better chance of getting booked at Olive Garden.

The resort: Luxor
The pitch: Jackson wouldn't perform here, but would merely take over the role as the mummifed King Tut in the hotel's Egypt exhibition while recovering from his next bout of surgery.
Odds of signing a deal: I don't care if he once was the King of Pop, the pharaohs would not be pleased.

The resort: Las Vegas Hilton
The pitch: The hotel that once hosted Elvis Presley's big comeback special can now see if lightning strikes twice. Plus, as home to the Star Trek Experience, Jacko's plastic surgery fiascoes will merely have guests thinking he's one of the Klingons.
Odds of signing a deal: Viva, viva Las Vegas. We have a winner.

Big surprise: Jacko performance a flop

Remember all the buzz about Michael Jackson making his big comeback by performing "Thriller" at the World Music Awards? It was a bust.

Rather than sing his 1983 classic as previously announced at last night's show in London, Jackson instead chose to sing the chorus from "We Are The World" -- yes, our pick for worst song of the 80s -- with a choir of children surrounding him. (Creepy!) When Jackson reached for but failed to find the high notes, the song ended abruptly, leaving the crowd and critics baffled.

"It was enough to make you cry. And not in a good way," one review in a London newspaper said.

One media outlet even reported that Jacko was booed off the stage. Not a good payoff for the World Music Awards organizers, who had to supply a private jet, 20 first-class plane tickets and reserve an entire hotel to accommodate the former star.

Reliving his gory days

Michael Jackson is giving his career a much-needed face-lift. Organizers of the World Music Awards say Jacko will perform "Thriller" at next week's ceremony in London. I guess the attraction is that he doesn't need any special effects or makeup these days to make the transformation from human to zombie.

Jackson also will receive the "Diamond Award," which honors artists who have more than 100-million in album sales. Actress Lindsay Lohan, whose public image desperately needs its own resuscitation, is hosting the award ceremony.

Has anyone heard of the World Music Awards before now? Granted, I'm no fan of music award ceremonies. They're phonier than Madonna's adoption papers. More predictable than a Nicolas Cage action flick. And generally as unnecessary as "MTV's The Real World: Detroit."

Past recipients of the Diamond Award include Bon Jovi and Rod Stewart. Yeesh. Maybe "Thriller" doesn't sound so bad after all.

[Love the album Thriller? Click here to listen to our Thriller podcast]

Michael Jackson is 48

Whacko Jacko turns 48 years old today. Though the good news is most of his superficial body parts are only 10 to 20 years old. At this rate, his nose will be old enough to buy alcohol in another 11 years.

We've been tough on Jacko this year here at Stuck in the 80s, but it hasn't all been bad news for him:

• We named Thriller the best music video of the 80s;
• Our best podcast to date was basically a love-fest for his album Thriller;
• We did however find the time to mock the top 5 fiascos in his career;
• And of course, we all pondered the fate of his Neverland ranch.

Today, the only juicy scoop on the birthday boy is that Michael allegedly used to call his sister Janet by the nickname "Fat Butt" when they were growing up, which of course hurt her feelings. (It'd be years before Sir Mix-A-Lot would turn it into a compliment.) But ContactMusic.com reports Janet admits now that "Michael's taunts were probably the result of his own body 'issues'." You don't say.

The Thrill isn't gone: Top 10 videos of the 80s

Finally, our top 10 list of best music videos of the 80s. (Click here to see 11-20, 21-30, 31-40 and 41-50.) While there's no real drama behind our top pick, some of the other top 10 videos might surprise you. Feel free to share your darts and laurels in the comments area.

Best videos of the 80s:

10. True Faith, New Order (view): So very, very French. Cirque du Soleil-ish long before the weird theatre troope became a household image. Directed by Philippe Decouflé, who also produced the inauguration ceremonies of the 1992 Winter Olympics in Albertville.

9. Legs, ZZ Top (view): The best of the Texas band's "hot girls" videos also features the ultimate 80s movie theme: triumph of the nerds!

8. Money For Nothing, Dire Straits (view): The only No. 1 single for the British band; also the first video to be aired on MTV Europe. Video used then-new art form of computer animation. Sting's "I Want My MTV" crooning was an afterthought.

7. Eat It, Weird Al Yankovic (view): Weird Al probably deserves a half dozen spots on this list. However, we save his ultimate 80s parody for the top 10. Video featured many of the same actors as Michael Jackson's "Beat It" video.

6. Hungry Like The Wolf, Duran Duran (view): Filmed in Sri Lanka with one of the largest budgets at the time for a music video, this one made Duran Duran a household name.

5. Bastards of Young, The Replacements (view): The ultimate anti-MTV video. The network didn't appreciate the joke and rarely aired the video. But hardcore "music" fans, growing weary in the late 80s as MTV's cool factor started to disintegrate, consider this video their holy grail.

4. Rock It, Herbie Hancock (view): Godley & Creme, who have the #17 video, directed the video, featuring robots moving in time to the Hancock's only pop hit.

3. Take On Me, a-Ha (view): Incorporates rotoscoping special effects into dramatic storytelling; same effects revived again for the video "Sun Always Shines on TV," but the marriage of style and video is forever associated with "Take on Me."

2. Sledgehammer, Peter Gabriel (view): Swept the MTV Video Music Awards in 1987; using 3-D animation, it raised the bar for all videos that followed.

1. Thriller, Michael Jackson (view): The home video for "Making of Thriller" actually outsold the album "Thriller." Cherish it as a time capsule of the Michael Jackson in the early 80s ... before things went very, very wrong.

Personal fave: I love every one of the top 10 -- with the possible exception of "Rock It," which gave me nightmares as a kid. But Gabriel's "Sledgehammer" is truly golden. You can watch it 100 times and see something new each time. So enjoy the memories, because I doubt any videos after 1989 can compete with these 50 pieces of high art.

 

[Video images; click to enlarge]

No mere mortal can resist The Thriller

Speaking of Michael Jackson, here's something about the 80s we can all agree about: Thriller is the greatest music video of all time, right?

MTV tagged it with that honor in 1999, then in a bizarre fit of insanity named Madonna's Vogue as the second-best video. I think I threw a wine cooler bottle at the TV when I saw that ... umm, it wasn't my wine cooler. I'm sure it was a girlfriend's. (You gotta go with Peter Gabriel's Sledgehammer, Duran Duran's Hungry Like the Wolf and a-Ha's Take on Me all before you consider ANY product by Madonna. Except maybe the pointy bra.)

If you want to rewatch some of the best videos, head over to Pitchfork Media's website. Click this link to see their list of the top 100 (alphabetically) with links to each individual video. And then curse yourself for throwing away the next five hours of your life. (Nah, it was worth it.) Click here to see the full 15-minute of Thriller.

So do I really need to present an argument for Thriller? Puleeze. It co-starred a former Playboy centerfold (Ola Ray). John Landis directed it, just two years after his American Werewolf in London masterpiece. The video didn't debut until more than a year after the album was released. Even the video "The Making of Michael Jackson's Thriller" sold tens of millions of copies.

"The making of Madonna's Vogue"? I don't think so.

Stay tuned to your computer and iPod for more Michael Jackson trivia and music as Stuck in the 80s records its "Thriller" episode this week.

The genius of Thriller

Once upon a time, in a decade not so long ago, there was a talented and normal artist known as Michael Jackson. And, with the help of super-producer Quincy Jones, he gave us an album that spawned seven Top 10 hits, a movie-length video and a dance move called Moonwalking.

In this week's Stuck in the 80s podcast, we spotlight one of the defining albums of the 80s: Michael Jackson's Thriller. (It doesn't even look like MJ on the cover, does it?)

Here's some trivia to get you looking for your dance shoes:
-- Vincent Price was picked to do the narration of Thriller because he was friends with the wife of producer Quincy Jones.
-- Price needed only two takes to record the chilling verses. Though three verses were penned by the author of the song, only two are used in the recording.
-- The E.T. Storybook (from the movie E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial), featuring Jackson reading the story of the film and singing "Someone in the Dark," was recorded at the same time as Thriller.
-- The original name for the album and single was Starlight. But Jackson wasn't happen with the song. So Thriller was written and chosen as the album title instead.

Want more trivia? Tune in on Thursday. In the meantime, feel free to share your own opinions on the album and your favorite song from it. (I lean toward "Human Nature.")

Don't Stop Til You Get Enough? (We've had enough)

Here are the words we all didn't want to hear... No, not Tom Cruise is marrying your daughter. Even worse. Ready?

Michael Jackson is back in the studio. (We assume they don't mean studio apartment, which is about all the bankrupt King of Pop should be able to afford by now.)

Seriously, Forbes magazine reports that Jackson has inked a deal with a label owned by the son of Bahrain's king. A new album could be released by late 2007. Safe to say, MJ could use the income. Financial problems caused His Royal Weirdness to shutter his infamous child-care service (aka Neverland Ranch) back in March. And he hasn't scored a significant hit since 1995's You Are Not Alone. (And by the way, YES he is now.)

Must we do a top 5 list for Mr. Jackson? OK. Reluctantly (but with a certain smirk nonetheless)....

Top 5 Fiascos in Michael Jackson's Career (ahem ... so far):
5. Hair catches fire during filming of Pepsi commercial in 1984.
4. Multiple rhinoplasties leave his face looking like the Crypt Keeper.
3. Settles child abuse allegations out of court for $20-million in 1994.
2. Dangles infant son over Berlin hotel balcony in 2002.
1. Charged but acquitted of sexual abuse of a child in 2005.

So what do you think? Will you buy MJ's new album? At what point did our Mr. Jackson jump the shark?

Neverland is nevermore (or so we hope)

Shocking development, 80s fans! California authorities on Thursday have ordered the closure of Michael Jackson's Neverland estate, pending payment of his worker's compensation bill.

Jackson has been fined $169,000 in fines and still owes more than $300,000 in unpaid wages, according to a report tonight by Reuters. (I guess dressing like a Muslim woman in Dubai isn't paying the bills these days. And there's no one left in the civilized world who needs a copy of Thriller or Bad.) In the meantime, local animal welfare authorities will take care of the zoo on his 2,800-acre estate/themepark. (No word on who's babysitting his sleep-over guests.)

The King of Pop (ack! I hate saying that. Can we call him Wackson Jackson?) was cleared last year of charges of sexually abusing a boy at Neverland. Lately, he's spent much of his time overseas and away from the camera's eye. The Reuters news service was unable to reach any representative for comment.