'Wild at heart and weird on top'

After hearing a rumor that Laura Dern is playing the role of Katherine Harris in an HBO movie about the botched 2000 presidential election, I may never be able to watch another of her 80s flicks again.

And that'd be a shame, because she's in some classics:

Teachers in 1984 stands out ("Mr. Jurel, I just had an abortion. I think I'm old enough to smoke."). So does Blue Velvet in '86 ("I can't figure out if you're a detective or a pervert."). Same with Mask in '85 (though Stoltz still gives me nightmares).

However, what I remember her best for is Wild at Heart with Nic Cage, made in the unspeakable year of 1990. But I'm grandfathering it into the 80s -- just for today.

Top 3 Laura Dern lines in Wild at Heart:

3. "One of these days the sun's gonna come up and burn a hole clean through the planet like a giant electrical x-ray."

2. "Uh oh. Baby, you'd better get me back to that hotel. You got me hotter than Georgia asphalt."

1. "This whole world's wild at heart and weird on top."

[Wild at Heart publicity photo]

Hey, Hollywood ... Try these next!

It's nearly the middle of summer -- Fourth of July weekend is upon us -- and so our minds turn to the multiplexes across America, wondering: Where are the sequels that we REALLY want to see?

Bruce Willis has his latest version of Die Hard out, and Times film critic Steve Persall says it's a throwback classic in his review. But isn't that really a Christmas season movie? What we need are some good ole fashioned sequels to '80s classics. I'm one step ahead of you.

TOP 10 MOVIES FROM THE '80s THAT NEED A SEQUEL:

10. Fast Times at Ridgemont High: I know 1984's "The Wild Life" was sequel of sorts, but don't you want to know what became of Jeff Spicoli after 25 years? I'm guessing he's the shop teacher and runs the David Lee Roth page on MySpace. "People on 'ludes should not drive."

9. Beverly Hills Cop: It's had two sorry sequels. But the original is the single source of power for the once-proud Eddie Murphy. And after "Norbit" and "Pluto Nash," I think it's time for Eddie to return to his roots. "Is this the gentleman who ruined the buffet at the Harrow club this morning?"

8. Caddyshack: Please, somebody do something to remove the taste in our mouths after "Caddyshack 2." Bring back Kenny Loggins for the title song. And let's find out what happened to "Danny" (Michael O'Keefe). But please keep Bill Murray's brother (Brian Doyle-Murray) running the caddyshack. "Pick up that blood!"

7. Valley Girl: A Nic Cage film that doesn't involve explosions? Yeah, think waaay back to the 80s. My guess is that even Deborah Foreman ("Julie") would come out of hiding to reprise her greatest role."Yeah, but Tommy can be such a dork, ya know? Like he's got the bod, but his brains are bad news."

6. The Breakfast Club: Answer the question once and for all -- what happens to the kids when they return to school on Monday? I'm hoping that writing a sequel is the real reason that director John Hughes has been laying low for so long. "We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all."

5. Sixteen Candles: From all reports, a sequel to this classic almost did happen. But to truly find out what happened to Samantha (Molly Ringwald) and her dreamy boyfriend, you'll have to rescue Michael Schoeffling ("Jake") from his job making furniture in Pennsylvania. (Sadly, I'm not joking.) "Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself? It's bad for your complexion."

4. Victory: The ultimate soccer/war/escape movie of the '80s. The only one in fact. I figure Sylvester Stallone can return -- Rambo style -- to free to rest of his fellow POW's (and maybe organize a camp softball team to play against the Soviet national team for when the war is over). "This frigging game is ruining my life."

3. War Games: I figure "David Lightman" (Matthew Broderick) could be running a huge software company these days, fighting the Justice Department over its business practices, hanging about rock stars and being named Time Magazine's man of the year. Nah, too unrealistic. " Is it a game... or is it real?"

2. Better Off Dead: One of the most underrated movies of the 80s can become the most overhyped sequel of our times, thanks to the star power of John Cusack. But unless they bring back Diane Franklin ("Monique"), Dan Schneider ("Ricky") and Curtis Armstrong ("Charles"), we're all better off dead. "Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn."

1. Blade Runner: I was screaming for a sequel before the credits even rolled on the original flick. Do Deckard and Rachael live happily ever after? Plus, Rutger Hauer and Sean Young could use the work. "I need ya, Deck. This is a bad one, the worst yet. I need the old blade runner, I need your magic."

Hey, special thanks to IMDB.com for linking to this post. Here are some other similar lists:

• Best kissing scenes from 80s movies
• Best patriotic movies of the 80s
• Top 20 guys movies
• Top 10 mob movies from the 80s

The Great 80s Kiss-Off

OK, so my argument that Some Kind of Wonderful's Hardy Jenns is the Best John Hughes Villain has been universally defeated by the 80s Nation. I'm not going to take defeat lightly.

Today's argument: The kissing scene between Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson) and Keith (Eric Stoltz) in the same movie is the hottest make-out scene of any 80s flick. Right? ("And we're gonna destroy Lincoln tonight ... alllriiiiight?")

You want a list, don't you? OK...

Top 5 Make-Out Scenes in 80s Movies:

5. THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987)
The participants: Wesley (Cary Elwes) and Buttercup (Robin Wright Penn)
The location: Outside Prince Humperdinck's castle
Music: "Happy Ending" (Mark Knopfler)
Why it's not No. 1: Any make-out scene narrated by Peter Falk isn't going to win.

4. RISKY BUSINESS (1983)
The participants: Joel (Tom Cruise) and Lana (Rebecca De Mornay)
The location: Joel's living room (and staircase ... and bedroom...)
Music: "Lana" (Tangerine Dream)
Why it's not No. 1: Joel had to pay for it. Ouch.

3. VALLEY GIRL (1983)
The participants: Randy (Nicolas Cage) and Julie (Deborah Foreman)
The location: Backseat of Fred's car.
Music: "Time To Win" (Gary Myrick & The Figures)
Why it's not No. 1: The atmosphere ... Fred chases Stacey around the car while Randy tries to convince Julie he isn't a stalker. Otherwise, it has "Let's make punk rock babies" written all over it.

2. SAY ANYTHING (1989)
The participants: Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack) and Diane (Ione Skye)
The location: In the rain
Music: "In Your Eyes" (Peter Gabriel)
Why it's not No. 1: You can see the whole "You're going to dump me and give me a pen, aren't you?" in Lloyd's face. You need a stopwatch to measure the time from kiss to kiss-off here. Ione, you wench!

1. SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL (1986)
The participants: Watts and Keith
The location: Gas station garage where Keith works
Music: "She Loves Me" (Stephen Duffy)
Why it's No. 1: Spontaneity. Longevity. Music that's -- dare I say? -- classic. Pardon the Journey pun, but lots of lovin', touchin' and feelin'. Throw in the whole "Whoa, I'm suddenly making out with my tomboy best friend who's really a smokin' hot drummer vixen" factor, and dinner is served.

OK, what's your opinion? Am I right or am I right? What other classic 80s scenes do you think belong on the list?

[Thanks to: Filmsite.org, IMDB.com, Somekindofwonderful.org]

What's your Nicolas Cage IQ?

One of our favorite 80s heroes -- Nic Cage -- turns 43 years old today. Hey there, old man! How you gonna celebrate the day? Eating some sushi with Julie? Baking some bread with Cher?

We've covered our favorite Nic Cage movies in a previous post and honored the flick Valley Girl in an early podcast, but have we ever challenged his fans to a real trivia throw-down? Not until today. So to honor Nic, can you answer these questions?

1. Name at least three famous relatives of Nic's.

2. Name two of his famous ex-wives.

3. Name the movie for each quote (they're not all 80s flicks:

• a. "Sometimes it's a hard world for small things."
• b. "Well that's very big of you, Little."
• c. "People get married and then they do the most hideous, unbelievable things to each other."
• d. "Did I ever tell ya that this here jacket represents a symbol of my individuality, and my belief in personal freedom?"
• e. "I ain't no freakin' monument to justice!"
• f. "Oh, well, Peter Piper picked a pepper!"
• g. "Some things are true whether you believe in them or not."
• h. "Put... the bunny... back... in the... box."
• i. "I don't trust the guy. Everything's too interesting to him."
• j. "Nobody would follow you into a fight because you'd get people killed - and nobody wants to be killed."

Nicolas Cage wants to rest

Nicolas Cage has announced that he's going to cut back on movies and pursue more personal interests, including promoting the development of independent cinema in his new home -- the Bahamas.

"I feel I've made a lot of movies already and I want to start exploring other opportunities that I can apply myself to, whether it's writing or other interests that I may develop," he told the media in Nassau at the third annual Bahamas International Film Festival.

Cage has appeared in more than 50 films in his career. But if he's slowing down, he's sure doing it an odd way. The International Movie Database website lists nine Cage movies in the works. Four are scheduled for release in 2007: Ghost Rider, Time to Kill, Next and National Treasure 2.

Still, you know our favorite Cage flicks are from the 80s.

Top 5 Nicholas Cage films:
5. Raising Arizona (1987): "I tried to stand up and fly straight, but it wasn't easy with that sumbitch Reagan in the White House. I dunno. They say he's a decent man, so maybe his advisors are confused."
4. Adaptation (2002): "You and I share the same DNA. Is there anything more lonely than that?"
3. Leaving Las Vegas (1995): "We both know that I'm a drunk. And I know you are a hooker. I hope you understand that I am a person who is totally at ease with that."
2. Moonstruck (1987): "Love don't make things nice - it ruins everything."
1. Valley Girl (1983): "That techno-rock you guys listen to is gutless."

Also worth owning: Racing with the Moon, The Rock, City of Angels, Wild at Heart, Face/Off, The Family Man, Lord of War, World Trade Center.

But skip these: Fire Birds, Peggy Sue Got Married, Con Air, Snake Eyes, 8MM, Captain Corelli's Mandolin, The Weather Man, It Could Happen to You.

Confessions of an 80s addict

While I generally consider myself a complete 80s fan, I will admit there are several things I didn't get to experience. I never figured out how to "moonwalk" like M.J., I never tried break-dancing and I couldn't stomach wine coolers. Maybe more important, I missed out on several 80s classics in the theaters.

Here, for your consideration, are the "great" 80s movies I haven't seen -- at least not all the way through -- to this day:

Goonies (1985): Sean Astin, Corey Feldman. I catch a lot of flack for not seeing this one. I can only guess that because it came out the year I started college, it probably didn't seem cool enough at the time. Plus, Anne Ramsey gives me the creeps.

E.T. - The ExtraTerrestrial (1982): Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore. Let's see, 1982 ... year of Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Last American Virgin. Yeah, my priorities were elsewhere. Can't see it now because the thought of my lust-idol Drew Barrymore as an adolescent is wrong.

Stand By Me (1986): River Phoenix, Corey Feldman. I keep thinking I've seen this one, but when friends quiz me, I can't remember a single quote or plot line.

Heathers (1989): Winona Ryder, Christian Slater. Actually, I was forced to watch this when we did our Heathers podcast (one of only a few shows I deliberately delayed as long as possible). And still, I don't think I ever got through it without falling asleep. I have no recollection of the ending whatsoever.

Raising Arizona (1987): Nicolas Cage, Holly Hunter. Another naptime favorite of mine. I hear those forced country/western accents, and see a movie based in the desert, and I nod off. I realize this was named to our top comedies of the 80s list, but I never appreciated it. Sorry, Nic.

Rad (1986): Bill Allen, Talia Shire. OK, not a classic, but you'd be surprised how many e-mails we get from podcast listeners who want a show on this movie. However, I dropped my fascination with BMX when I was about 10 years old.

Dream a Little Dream (1989): Corey Feldman, Corey Haim. Maybe it's just Corey Feldman movies I don't like (with the exception of The Lost Boys.)

The 'Burbs (1989): Tom Hanks, Carrie Fischer. Hey, this movie has Corey Feldman too. I think we have an official motive here. I caught some grief in my top Tom Hanks movie list for not including this stink-bomb. Again, tried to watch ... couldn't come close to finishing.

Howard The Duck (1986): Lea Thompson, Jeffrey Jones. Once again, not a classic, but surely an infamous film. But you figure an 80s fan like me who has seen "Red Dawn" a dozen times could take time out for another sad flick. Nope.

[Photo: AP; click to enlarge]

Raising Arizona: Classic or overrated?

Now that we're compiling our list of Best Comedies of the 80s, the first real issue has been tossed into the murky soup: Is Raising Arizona worthy of the honor?

Confession: I'm not a fan of the 1987 flick starring Nicolas Cage and Holly Hunter. And I can't put a finger on why. I like Nic Cage. I like Holly Hunter. And I like other movies by the Coen brothers.

Here's my theory:

-- In '87, I was in college and probably still enjoying John Hughes' teen movies a little too much for my age. ("Some Kind of Wonderful" came out that year. Classic.)

-- I really don't like any movie that features southern accents. (Do they have southern accents in Arizona?) Growing up in Florida (which I maintain is NOT part of the South), I bristle at the twang so largely identified with this part of the world. (Side theory: Are all movies with southern accents also "chick flicks?" ... Fried Green Tomatoes ... Steel Magnolias. Think about it.)

-- Nic Cage makes one good movie for every 10 bad ones. I count on one hand the movies with him that I enjoy (Valley Girl, Leaving Las Vegas, Moonstruck, City of Angels, Racing with the Moon). So the odds were against him already.

-- Not a huge fan of prison movies either. Except Shawshank Redemption. ("Get busy living, or get busy dying." )

I know, I know. Stupid reasons. So give me some good reasons to put it high on the list and you shall have your great reward.