'My McNuggets are an emergency'

Yeah, yeah, we know how fond you are of the Chicken McNuggets at McDonald's. After all, you ordered the 10-piece pack.  And we understand how you might have gotten a tad upset that you didn't find out until after you'd forked over your cash that this particular Fort Pierce McDonald's was out of McNuggets.

Still. Did you have to go and call 911?  Not once.  Not twice.  But three times?

Dedicated public servants that they are, the police did show up at the restaurant.  The cashier told them that she'd offered you "a larger portion of food for the same price to make up for it," but you would not be mollified.

"This is an emergency," you insisted. "If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one.

"This is an emergency."

Police officers did not agree with your assessment, according to TCPalm, and so you -- Latreasa L. Goodman, age 27 -- ended up charged with misuse of 911.

The Smoking Gun offers a copy of the arrest report and additional details.

Photo:  Associated Press

Woman says she'll get off man's roof if he gives her more beer

A Fort Pierce man arrived home Wednesday night to an unexpected sight, TCPalm reports.  A woman -- 28-year old Amber D. Smith, according to police -- was drinking beer on his roof.  The man told her several times to get down, but she refused...whereupon police were called.

When officers arrived, they heard the resident asking Smith to come down from the roof.  According to police, she said she would leave if the man would provide her with more beer.  Which she obviously didn't need, as police arrested her and charged her with disorderly intoxication.

Woman hopes brain scan Virgin Mary image can help pay medical bills

Hoping to raise money to pay off some medical bills, an ailing  42-year old Fort Pierce woman plans to sell an MRI scan of her brain on eBay, reports TCPalm.  Why would you want a picture of someone else's brain?  Well, in this particular brain scan, an image of the Virgin Mary appears.  Or at least that's what Pamela Latrimore's sister-in-law saw, when she plucked the scan from Lattimore's oversize pile of medical records back in 2002.

Lattimore, suffering from cancer and a variety of other ailments, blames her medical condition on possible exposure to dioxin during her childhood in Jacksonville, AR.  Having noticed that other unusual objects with supposed images of religious icons had sold on eBay, she feels this might be a way of earning cash to pay some of the medical bills that she and her husband cannot afford.

Three bizarre food stories...

...all from TCPalm.

Bizarre story number one:
A 19-year old man was arrested on domestic battery and child abuse charges after whacking his girlfriend with a sandwich  while she was driving on I-95 with their child in the car.  According to police, he knocked her glasses off, nearly causing an accident, and also yanked off the rear view mirror and beat on the windshield, causing it to shatter.  "The type of sandwich hurled was not specified in the (police) report," according to the newspaper.

Bizarre story number two:
A 35-year old Stuart man was arrested after trying to abscond from a Publix with surf-and turf stuffed down his pants -- specifically, $75 worth of steaks and a package of shrimp.  After shoving a "loss prevention officer" who tried to detain him, the man was pursued into the parking lot by store employees, who "subdued" him, police said.  He told police he had the money to pay for the food and that he ran because he was frightened; nonetheless, they charged him with retail theft and two counts of resisting a retail merchant.

Bizarre story number three:
A 43-year old Fort Pierce man, apparently upset that his ex-girlfriend had opened a can of Vienna Sausages and a can of sardines while he was out, "told her not to disrespect him in his house and punched her several times," according to police, who responded to a 911 call from the victim.  When questioned, the perpetrator told police "he had no past or present relationship" with the woman, whom he called "a friend of a friend." He said she was only there to smoke crack and started to "flip out."  Police arrested him on a battery charge.

(Image:  NOAA)

Would-be shoplifter threatens cops with sanitary napkin

A Fort Pierce woman tried to walk out of a local Walgreen's last Turesday without paying for a bottle of cologne, a bottle of green nail polish, and a set of "extra-long" false eyelashes, according to police.  When an officer tried to stop her, he said she pulled what looked like a dollar bill out of her overalls and tried to give it to him.  When he refused it, the officer said, she offered sex.

That didn't work either, according to the arrest report cited by TCPalm, so when police were putting 27-year old Ermith Emonfils into a cruiser, she “grabbed behind her and pointed a well-used and bloody female sanitary napkin” at them.  At which point, an officer said, “I delivered a firm, lawful command to the suspect to drop the object and told her it was gross.”  She refused, but eventually, one of the offivers managed to put the “offensive and potentially dangerous biohazard item” into a plastic bag.  Emonfils is looking at three misdemeanor charges, according to police.

Well, what did they expect...really?

TCPalm reports that a free gas giveaway in Fort Pierce Wednesday resulted in one arrest and four accidents.  A local attorney, along with a local radio station, sponsored the giveaway; free gas was offered to the first 102 listeners who showed up at a Wal-Mart gas station between 4 pm and 6 pm.  However, more than 3,000 drivers turned up, according to a Fort Pierce Police captain, who said 30-40 officers from local agencies were called in to deal with the chaos, which went on into the early evening.  Law enforcment said a 21-year old Fort Pierce man was arrested and charged with three counts of battery for whacking a woman in the back of the head and striking police officers.  (Image:  USA.gov)

Nasty restroom prompts woman to pee in theatre

A little sympathy, please, for the police officer who was called to a Fort Pierce cinema Saturday afternoon after patrons complained about a woman "relieving herself in the theatre."  According to TCPalm, the 30-year old woman initially denied it.  After the officer found "a yellow puddle" in front of her seat, however, the woman said "she did not use the floor, she used a cup because the bathroom was dirty."

'Relaxing in the park' brings exhibition charge

Nicodeme Petion told Fort Pierce police he was hot and was 'just relaxing in the park,' when they found him in his car with his pants undone, reports the Associated Press. Police say they saw Petion in the driver’s seat of his car with a sock over his genitals while they were patrolling a community park. He was charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition and cited for driving while his license was suspended.

What's a fishing trip without topless women?

A Fort Pierce marina kicked out a charter fishing company after concluding that the family-friendly atmosphere of the place didn't mix with the sometimes topless mates, the Palm Beach Post reports. Smokin' Em Charters offered its clients a little something extra along with the rods and reels: bikini-clad or topless women to act as mates. "We had no idea this was going on," said Dean Kubitschek, manager of the Fort Pierce City Marina. The charter service used a 44-foot Trojan. Which is a type of boat, by the way.

Would Jesus make him walk around naked?

It's always good to have a story for the authorities when you decide to take a stroll naked on a busy street. So David John Campbell, 41, didn't disappoint sheriff's deputies in Fort Pierce when they caught up with the fully-nude man walking on U.S. 1, tcpalm.com reports. His explanation was simple: He was under instructions from Jesus.