Police periodical prank prompts punishment

David Coffman, assistant chief of the Jacksonville Sheriff's office, started receiving magazines in late 2007.  Lots of magazines.  Eventually, 20 to 30 magazines were regularly arriving at Coffman's office, including such titles as Maxim and Muscle and Fitness...and Playboy.  Some of them, he noted, were addressed to...uh, "Ass Chief".  He was also receiving invoices for mail order merchandise he hadn't ordered.  An internal affairs investigation was launched.

According to Jacksonville.com, the investigation revealed that Lt. William Medlin -- once Coffman's subordinate -- had been using various magazine subscription cards to place fraudulent orders as a practical joke on his former boss.  The powers-that-be were not amused, charing Medlin with with violating the law, unbecoming conduct and failing to conform to work standards.  Medlin was suspended for 20 days without pay.  The State Attorney's Office, however, did not file criminal charges.

In his defense, Medlin said he did not address any of the subscriptions to "Ass Chief," maintaining it was likely a result of the subscription fulfilment companies abbreviating Coffman's official title.  He also maintained that the Playboy subscription was not offensive because the magazines were sent in a black wrapper.

Feds give veteran a special 'honor'

A veteran earned a new distinction after discussing his four Purple Hearts during a POW/MIA ceremony at Jacksonville Naval Air Station, according to Jacksonville.com. Charles T. White, 68, of St. Augustine has been accused by the Justice Department of violating the Stolen Valor Act.

Military records indicate White served in the Navy and Marines. They show that White, who also talked of being a POW, served for nearly a year in Vietnam but was never a prisoner of war. Records indicate he received the National Defense Service Medal, the Vietnam Service Medal with a star signifying participation in one campaign and the Vietnam Campaign Medal. There is no record of the Prisoner of War Medal or Purple Heart.

The POW Network said three other awards White wore at the ceremony did not exist when he was in the service, and that he wore the Army Good Conduct Medal despite having not served in that branch of the military.

White could not be reached for comment and officials at the base declined to discuss the case, leaving unanswered how White was chosen to speak at the ceremony.

Under the 2005 law, falsely claiming a military honor is a federal misdemeanor punishable by up to two years in prison and a $200,000 fine. The Purple Heart is award to members of the military who are wounded or killed in action.

Woman misses deputy, runs over self

A woman who narrowly missed knocking over a sheriff’s deputy with her van ended up running over herself Sunday afternoon, according to Jacksonville.com.

When deputies were called to a home in response to a domestic dispute, a 63-year-old woman attempted to leave in her car, according the Baker County sheriff.

When she put the vehicle in reverse and attempted to leave, a deputy standing in the open driver’s door of the van had to jump out of the way, the sheriff said. The woman then backed into a riding lawn mower, fell from the vehicle and was run over. The van then rammed a Sheriff’s Office vehicle.

Her injuries weren’t considered life-threatening.

A crash course in driving

A Jacksonville woman will have to give the driver's license test another go after crashing into the Department of Motor Vehicle building during the first exam.

According to an Associated Press story, Preethi Naidu Ramamoorthy, 24, was pulling into the DMV parking lot with the examiner after completing the majority of the driving field test.

Ramamoorthy did not get extra credit for what happened next.
As she pulled into a parking spot, Ramamoorthy hit the gas not the brake, sending the car into the side of the government building. There was no damage to the driver and building but the examiner was taken to the hospital.

Ramamoorthy did not pass the driver exam, but she did get a ticket for an improper stop.

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An 'au naturel' reaction

Officers investigating an accident involving an SUV and a bicycle in Jacksonville are trying to discover the naked truth. According to news4jax.com, three children ages 10 to 14 who were riding in the SUV told police the woman driver said: "Do you think this biker is going to get hit? Do you have faith? Are you afraid?" They said she then drove across a road and hit the cyclist. A couple who stopped to help said the driver took off her clothes, ran around the crash scene naked and then tried to flee in their van but crashed into a fence. Police arrested Holly Highfield, 34, and took her to a hospital for observation. The cyclist was hospitalized with non-life-threatening injuries.

The tell-tale leg

A human leg dangling over a Jacksonville restaurant grill belonged to a burglary suspect who got trapped in an air vent and was about to fall into hot oil, local 6.com reports. "He would have skittled right onto the grill and into the oil. So, basically, we saved his life by calling the police to get him out," said Mandarin restaurant owner Rana Escamilla. Police said the man was apparently trying to get into a nearby pharmacy through the complex vent system. "He was really greasy," Escamilla said. Jason Hammond told police that he'd had a fight with his wife and decided to let some steam out and fell into the vent. He was charged with burglary.

She couldn't wait for divorce

Meloney Jackson was a day away from divorcing her husband of 15 years. Instead, she borrowed a gun from a neighbor and shot Kevin Jackson dead in the front yard of their mobile home near Jacksonville Monday morning, police told the Florida Times-Union. At one point she sought a restraining order against him.

Duct tape "joke'' leads to suspension

Duval County middle school teacher Kasey Goodin says she was just kidding around when she duct taped a student's leg to his desk and bound his hands and face with masking tape. The student was laughing the whole time, she says. But the School Board was not amused, Local6.com reports. "It's just not funny for a child to be taped, whether it's in jest or it's a disciplinary measure," School Board Chair Betty Burney said. Goodin was suspended for 10 days without pay.

Slim Whitman, Martian killer, insists he's alive

Slim Whitman wants to make one thing perfectly clear: He's not dead! Whitman, whose singing killed invading Martians in the movie "Mars Attacks,'' told the Florida Times-Union that he may be 84 but he's still alive and kicking despite reports to the contrary. "I can still sing," said Whitman, who was born in Tampa and lives in Middleburg near Jacksonville. "If you are dead, you can't sing." Whitman told the paper he thinks another musician got the wrong message out and it spread from there, particularly to the web site of the Nashville Tennessean, which pulled the item before it appeared in the paper.  

This is the song that killed the Martians in the 1996 movie Martian Attacks.

Revenge is sweet and served cold

A woman who thought she was about to be fired from her job at a Jacksonville architecture firm deleted $2.5-million worth of files - seven years' of work - as revenge, reports  WTLV-TV. Marie Cooley saw a classified ad for a job that sounded like hers and assumed the worst. Turns out it was a different job. Now she really is fired and facing criminal charges. And the sweetest revenge: all the files she deleted were recovered.