That's no gun, it's my belt buckle!

A gun-shaped belt buckle that looked a little too much like the real thing nearly resulted in the shooting of a teenager when Monroe County Sheriff's deputies responded to a call about a possible kidnapping near Key West, the Miami Herald reports.

William Morales, 17, was a hair's breadth away from being shot when he gestured toward his gun-shaped belt buckle during a confrontation in a parking lot.

''The hair stood up on my neck and I was squeezing the trigger when he went for the 'gun,' '' Detective Donnie Catala said Wednesday. ''I ordered him to put his hands up -- with a few cuss words -- or I would shoot. His hand was about six inches from the `gun' and I was within milliseconds of shooting.''

Morales told officers it was a belt buckle -- but then raised his hands again.

The officers tackled and handcuffed him. No shots were fired.

That'll get his attention

The wife of a Cape Coral cop just wanted to get his attention when she fired a gun in their vacation house in Key West, but both ended up arrested, according to Miami.Herald.com. Police also found marijuana when they arrived to investigate,authorities said.

The couple spent the day drinking, and then they had sex, before the argument that led to the gunshot, police said.  Christine Suskevich shot a .32-caliber automatic handgun toward the bedroom where her husband was because she "just wanted to get his attention," according to a police report cited by the Fort Myers News-Press.

Her husband, nine-year Cape Coral police veteran Curt Suskevich, was uninjured. When police arrived, they saw a marijuana pipe and a "green leafy substance" on the kitchen counter. Suskevich  reportedly pointed his finger at his wife, who acknowledged it was her pot.  Cops also found some half-smoked joints elsewhere in the home.

Creepy doll coming to Biltmore

Robert the Doll, a Key West icon that apparently inspired Child's Play's Chucky, will be featured at the Atlantic Paranormal Society Convention July 19 and 20 at the Belleview Biltmore Resort in Belleair. The Associated Press reports that the doll belonged to Key West artist Robert Eugene Otto, who received it as a child in the late 1800s. As the legend goes, Otto and the doll became close and the boy often blamed the doll for mishaps and strange events. The doll eventually began to frighten others and was relegated to an attic room, where it supposedly stared from the window at seriously freaked-out pedestrians.

Who was that woman who stole a grand?

Then there's the fellow who got in touch with the Key West Police Department because a woman stole $1,000 from his pants pocket while he was in the shower. He hardly knew the woman. Picked her up in a Duval Street bar. They got a room at the Blue Marlin Hotel. Thing the cops wanted to know: did he discuss exchanging money for sex? Well, um. Gosh, ya think maybe she was a prostitute? Heck, she only took the cash. Not his credit cards. Not his lap top. Suddenly, the man decided he really didn't want to testify in this case.

Has anybody seen my cocaine?

A man in his 50s or 60s wandered around a parking lot in Key West looking for his lost bag of cocaine. He even went in a nearby store and announced he'd lost his cocaine, the Key West Citizen reports. After 20 minutes of fruitless search, the man left. Later, an employee found the bag of cocaine inside the store and called the cops. Street value: $1,000.

Key West Airport runs out of fuel

About 75 Delta Air Lines passengers sat in a tightly closed jet for more than an hour Sunday waiting for the plane to take off. Cramped space. No air flow. Why the delay? The airport ran out of jet fuel, the Key West Citizen reports. What happened to the fuel? Well, it got used up over the weekend by non-regular flights, including two landings by a jet carrying the Orlando Magic basketball team. And the fuel is trucked in from Port Everglades. (Other airports have fuel pipelines but not Key West.) What's more, tanker trucks can carry 10,000 gallons of jet fuel but not in the Keys. Because of the weight limit on bridges, they carry only 7,400 gallons when they go to Key West. Life is different in the Keys.

Key West's Gold Man goes to the slammer

Key West's Gold Man needed money so he decided to sell crack cocaine, cops say. Trouble was, the Key West Citizen reports, he sold it to undercover detectives. The street performer who paints himself gold and performs in the island city told cops he needed money so he could take a day off from being the Gold Man. He'll have plenty of time now. He's in the slammer. They booked him gold paint and all.

[Booking photo courtesy Monroe County Sheriff's Department]

One-armed lesbian lover declares war

A one-armed lesbian lover declared war in Key West and ended up in jail. Authorities say that the woman punched her partner and bit her finger. Police were called and and she kicked and punched an officer who then used pepper spray on her. That didn't stop her from kicking him in the groin and trying to punch him again, the Key West Citizen reports. She ended up with a bloody nose and a pretty new set of bracelets for her trip to the hoosegow.

What? Are you on crack? Yep!

Undercover cops usually set up stings snare drug dealers. They'll pose as buyers looking to score some good stuff. Monroe County deputies turned the tables. They posed as dealers and put out the word they had some good stuff. They found several buyers for crack cocaine: a diver, a landscaper, a housekeeper, a driver, and a maintenance worker, who swallowed the evidence during his arrest, the Key West Citizen reports.

Maybe he should have taken the ticket

A man from Tennessee was stopped for running a stop sign in the Key West community of Stock Island. A Monroe deputy decided to let him off with a warning, the Key West Citizen reports, as long as he didn't mind if the deputy searched his backpack. Oops. The deputy found seven bags of cocaine and $200. Moped Man didn't get away with a warning.