Budget situation dire; FSU removing landlines from professors' offices

Citing budget reasons, the English department at Florida State University is in the process of removing all phones from professors' offices, the Tallahassee Democrat reports.  Landlines will also be yanked from faculty offices in the History and Modern Languages & Linguistics departments.

"I've never seen anything like this before," English department chairman Ralph Berry told the newspaper. "It's difficult to have an office and no phone.  I think if parents of students who are coming here knew how austere the conditions are here compared to five years ago, they would be shocked."

Berry said removing the phones -- about 40 -- will save between $12,000 and $16,000 a year.  Two years ago, the department yanked 33 phones to cut costs.

Students who want to reach a professor will have to know his or her cell phone number...or maybe see if he or she has a page on Facebook.

Mockingbirds are more observant than you, say UF scientists

People are sometimes surprised to learn that the mockingbird is the state bird of Florida.  After all, these mundane-looking gray and white birds are found all over the place and hardly appear unique.

But appearances can be deceiving.  We already know that mockingbirds are superb mimics who can imitate other birds as well as environmental sounds like cell phones and car alarms. Indeed, their Latin name is mimus polyglotus, meaning "many-throated mimic."

What we did not know, until tipped off by University of Florida biologists, is that these birds are capable of differentiating between human beings.  They can quickly identify and remember people whom they perceive as a threat.

“We tend to view all mockingbirds as equal, but the feeling is not mutual,” said biology professor Doug Levey.  “Mockingbirds certainly do not view all humans as equal.”

Levey and another professor, Aaron Hoover, conducted an experiment in which a few students on the UF campus walked up to mockingbird nests and touched them.  After two days of this, the mockingbirds became upset when these same students began to approach their nests, uttering alarm calls and swooping at their heads.  However, when different students grew close to the nests, the birds did not freak out.

"Mockingbirds can recognize a human after only 60 seconds of contact," professor Levey told the Gainesville Sun.  "I would challenge most humans to do the same."

UF student faces 31 charges of groping women; used entymology ruse

University of Florida police arrested a 22-year old graduate student whom they said may have groped about 36 women after telling them he was removing an insect from their bodies.  According to the Independent Florida Alligator, Robin Garg may have not actually touched five of the women, but misdemeanor battery charges are pending in the other 31 cases.  The maximum penalty for each charge is a year in prison and a $1,000 fine.

As of Monday afternoon, Garg was sitting in the Alachua County Jail, with bail set at $5,000.  Police issued a trespass order banning him from the UF campus, where he was studying computer and information science and engineering.  (Photograph:  Alachua County Sheriff's Office)

Behold the green spotted puffer fish!

So you're allergic to cats and dogs.  Feathers, too, which means you can't have a pet bird, either.

Well, University of Florida researchers have succeeded in captively breeding an particularly engaging critter that might be right at home in your fish tank.  How about a green spotted puffer fish?

These aren't your garden variety aquarium fish.  "Native to brackish waters in South and Southeast Asia, the fish grows to about six inches," explains a UF press release. "When frightened, its body rapidly inflates into a spiny ball."

How cool is that?

Researchers are interested in this particular creature for its potential utility in genomic research, though other fish also fill that role -- particularly the zebrafish.  According to the press release, about a quarter of a million green spotted puffer fish are sold each year by producers "to North American hobbyists and researchers," which was the impetus for developing a commercial breeding method. (Image:  University of Florida News)

The highest and best use of a college education

Brock Hurley, a 2003 University of Florida graduate, told the Gainesville Sun that his 100-man beer bong will be up and running this weekend at the Florida-South Carolina game, and that plans are afoot "to take it on the road."

Hurley told the newspaper he began working on the bong about a year ago, before football season.  He wanted to create a device that would deliver beer to two people with the push of a single button.  "Then I was like, why have two people race when you can have more?" he said.  Eventually, he was able to service 20 thirsty folks at a time, and then 40.  He finally managed to serve 100 simultaneous beer drinkers during the weekend of the Florida-LSU game last month.

Pressurized with carbon dioxide, the bong delivers 19.68 ounces of beer to each drinker.  It requires 1,200 feet of hose. and the entire contraption costs about $3 grand, not including the beer.  The device was featured in a New York Times story earlier this month that discussed lowering the legal drinking age.  (Image:  100manbeerbong.com)