No more outdoor smut...uh, paintings...in downtown Plant City

In a 4-1 vote Monday, Plant City commissioners voted to essentially ban any new outdoor paintings from the historic downtown area.  Why?  Because of a painting on the wall of a downtown antique store that sent one commissioner into a state of high dudgeon over what he perceived as a threat to public morality.

"We have an obligation to protect our kids, or citizens, and this community from things that are not of our character, and things we do not want in our community. To think we could allow this kind of trash is ludicrous," said Commissioner Mike Sparkman. "We have to stop it and we have to stop it now."

"This kind of trash" was a mural depicting an elderly man and woman sitting at a table.  Protruding from the man's lap was what the artist said was a chair armrest but which Sparkman and, apparently others, identified as a...male sex organ.

Never mind that the artist had already painted over the controversial part.

Said Blake Emory, who helped create the image, "The city has been up in arms over the Plant City mural from the first time it was presented to them,  We went through the proper channels and did everything we were supposed to do. The offending area in the mural was part of an arm chair, nothing more. But when it was pointed out to me I had it painted over immediately. As far as the rest of the mural is concerned I will be glad to talk to anyone about its content. But no one from the city has asked."

Edward Haynes, the antique store owner who paid for the mural, was similarly annoyed by the kerfluffle.  "I didn't notice anything wrong and the artist painted over the part thought to be indecent without an argument. If the city was so interested in the moral character of the city why don't they do something about the prostitutes soliciting on the city streets, or the bums sleeping in vacant lots at night? I'm all for decency. I have a family too. But let's not get so upset and misplace our energy when it is needed elsewhere."

Learning from television

A Miramar High School student who exposed himself to a teacher said he was just re-enacting a "funny prank" he saw on That 70's Show, authorities told SunSentinel.com.

The teacher didn't think it was funny. Neither did police, who arrested the student for indecent exposure, according to documents released Tuesday.

Last Wednesday afternoon, teacher Deborah Harrell, 61, was sitting alone in a classroom grading papers when the boy entered with the bottom of his T-shirt pulled over his face and the zipper of his jeans open, according to the report.

The boy asked, "What do you think?" several times, the teacher told police. When she left her seat, he ran.

Music director with foot fetish...

A 27-year old Sanford man was arrested Monday and charged with two counts of lewd and lascivious molestation of a minor and one count of lewd and conduct on a minor after three teenage girls told Seminole County Sheriff's deputies that he'd asked them for a somewhat unusual sexual favor.

The girls -- ages 13, 14 and 15 -- told police Ismael Angel Rios, a music director for a local theater group, approached each of them separately and told them he was considering them for a play he was putting together.  He asked them what they would do to get a part, according to the arrest report, and they said they would "do anything."  Whereupon he told them he had a foot fetish and asked them to accompany him to his vehicle or office, police said.

The 13-year old told deputies she left when Rios unzipped his pants and asked her to put her feet on his...you know.  The two older girls did what he asked, police said.  Rios bonded out of the Seminole County Jail early Tuesday morning, according to the Orlando Sentinel.  (Image:  coloringplanet.com)

"Human suspension act" at tattoo convention goes bad

A 300-pound man suspended by six metal hooks clamped to his shoulders fell about 12 feet to the ground Saturday night and broke a leg, "shocking a crowd of thousands," according to SunSentinel.com.  The "human suspension act" was  part of the festivities at the 13th annual South Florida Tattoo Expo, held last week at the Deerfield Beach Hilton.

A performance organizer explained to the newspaper that in a "theatrical suspension performance," the performer's skin is pierced with metal hooks and he or she "is lifted into the air to move theatrically."  Apparently, said the newspaper, "this is no more no more painful or barbaric than boxing or extreme sports," according to those who engage in it.

The injured performer was listed as critical at the North Broward Medical Center late Sunday night.

A giant statue of a...what?

The night started with a complaint about a giant penis statue.

Before it was over, police had pinned the owner of the art gallery to the ground and taken him to jail, according to Tampabay.com.

But not because of the penis statue.  Instead, investigators said they saw a nude man in the gallery, a violation of a city ordinance that prohibits places that serve alcohol from allowing the public display of genitals.  He was suspended from the ceiling in a harness described as a "chandelier."

The walls of the gallery were covered in erotic images. One painting depicted Superman in underwear with an erect penis.

Attached to a bathroom door of cloth were signs reading: "Human petting zoo," "Tipping allowed & encouraged," and "Dare to explore." Police said they found a man in his underwear inside the bathroom but nothing illegal.

Collins said the police began an investigation Friday night after hearing that the gallery was displaying genitals while serving alcohol. He would not specify how they knew, saying he wouldn't reveal an investigative tactic.

But because the business has a liquor license, police have a right of entry and don't need probable cause to go inside, Collins said.

"It's art," said Craig Christopher, 42, who said he had barely sipped his beer when police entered. "So what's the problem with that?"

More smarts, less skin at Strawberry Festival queen pageant

Florida Strawberry Festival queen hopefuls won’t be strutting in swimsuits next year, according to TampaBay.com. Pageant officials decided today to ditch the swimsuits in favor of a casual wear contest. Officials have also raised the grade-point average requirement to 3.0 from 2.75. "We didn’t take lightly breaking tradition," said Sandee Sytsma, the festival queen coordinator. While there have been some complaints over the years about 16- to 20-year-old competitors in swimsuits, the standard was a one-piece outfit. "They never wore skimpy bathing suits," Sytsma said.

"Spectacular escape" attempt awaits government paperwork

Las Vegas-based illusionist Criss Angel (warning -- turn computer speakers down/off) will pull off a spectacular escape on Clearwater Beach at the end of the month as long as the needed permits are in place, according to TampaBay.com, and a city official says that should happen.

"If they get the permits, he's coming," Clearwater city spokesman Doug Matthews said. "I'm fairly confident we're moving forward with this, and I don't see any reason why it won't happen."

Needed are a demolition permit from the city and an asbestos abatement permit from Pinellas County.

Angel's representatives recently approached the city of Clearwater about staging an escape during the demolition of the 9-story Spyglass Resort hotel building on July 30. The vacant hotel is being razed so make room for a large hotel.

"He's going to be in the building when they do the demolition, and somehow he magically escapes to the roof and is whisked off into the darkness," Matthews said after city officials met today with representatives of Angel's hit cable TV show, Criss Angel Mindfreak, which is shown on the A&E network.

Stolen Highwaymen painting found on e-Bay

There was a time when paintings by the Florida Highwaymen could be bought for next to nothing. Now they are highly sought after - by art thieves. Police say a 26-year-old Port St. Lucie woman tried to sell a Florida Highwaymen painting on eBay almost a year after it and 14 others were stolen from a lawyer's private collection, tcpalm.com reports. Theresa Shively was arrested Tuesday in Jensen Beach on a St. Lucie County warrant for dealing in stolen property, according to law enforcement reports. The starting bid: $999. "Up for auction is this original Highwaymen painting by Samuel Newton...dated 1976...measures 22” X 28'' with frame...there is a blemish as seen in the 4th picture...a very remarkable painting...here’s your chance to own a piece of real Florida history.''

Low-riding pants prompts mall fracas

A guy wearing his pants too low at a Florida mall led to an all-out police assault: Twenty deputies, two canine units, a police helicopter and the shut-down of two roads, the Palm Beach Post reports. It all began about 7 p.m. Thursday when Frantz Leger, 20, showed up at the The Mall at Wellington Green where he had been banned for wearing his pants too low. "The mall doesn't put up with that tomfoolery bullcrap," a Palm Beach County sheriff's spokesman said. Leger and five family members, including his mom and dad, wound up getting arrested, mostly for interfering with police. "I know I'm not a criminal just because my pants are too low below your expectations," Frantz Leger said. 

Letterman and Schaffer on St. Pete and the Times