Super stink gets student suspended

Sure the bus ride to school in the morning stinks. Especially if you are on the same route as Jonathan Locke Jr.

The Lakeland Ledger reports that Locke was suspended for three days from riding the bus for excessively passing gas.

"Jonathan passes gas on the bus to make the other children laugh and it is so stink [sic] that you can't breathe after he does it," the bus driver wrote on a misbehavior form.

Locke is passing the buck on the flatulence though. He said it was another student.

How about this to clear the air? Whoever smelt it, dealt it.

Man fails in attempt to shoplift condoms and body wash

Perhaps 45-year old Travis Denson had a very special type of encounter in mind when he stuffed four bottles of body wash and several packages of condoms down his pants at a Lessburg Walmart Tuesday.  Alas, reports the Orlando Sentinel, his plans were thwarted by a "loss-prevention officer" who'd seen Denson stashing the goods and followed him out of the store, radioed for assistance, and tried to detain him.  Pretty soon, another loss prevention officer was involved, as were two assistant managers, the store manager and an off-duty detective.  According to police, Denson grabbed, pushed, and attempted to kick several Walmart employees.  He also grabbed the manager by the tie and attempted to strangle him, police said.  In spite of all this, Densen was securely detained by the time the Fruitland Park Police arrived to cart him off to the Lake County Jail, where he was denied bond.  (Photo:  Lake County Sheriff's Office)

A hit-and-run marathon

Sunday was definitely a day of bizarre hit-run drivers. But one in Lakeland wasn't so lucky, according to The Ledger.com. The third time she hit a car, her pickup truck flipped, killing her and shutting down I-4 for an hour.

Man arrested for attempting drastic solution to tax problems

The owner of a Mulberry construction company was arrested and charged with attempting to have an IRS agent killed, according to the Lakeland Ledger.  The U.S. Attorney’s Office said Thursday that Randy Nowak,  48, met with an undercover FBI  agent posing as a hit man on July 29 and handed over $10 grand as a down payment for killing the IRS agent who was investigating his tax liabilities.  He also asked the agent if he would consider burning down the IRS office in Lakeland.

Bondsman get his man - and his pants

Eric Lee Andrews lost his pants in a struggle with a bail bondsman in front of a crowd of people Thursday night in downtown Winter Haven, The Ledger reports. It was an epic struggle that left bondsman Rico Reed bloodied and three cars wrecked. "It was bizarre,” said Kendall Reasoner, 21, who had a front-row seat from a street-side bench. And Reed was left holding Andrews' pants. So, boxers or briefs? Neither, the Ledger reports. He's a no-underwear man.

Polk County beer thieves beware

No crime is too small for the Polk County Sheriff's Office, reports WFTS-TV in Tampa. Deputies there are looking for a couple of beer thieves. One stole an 18-pack of Bud Light on New Year's Eve. A week later, someone else stole two 18-packs of Bud Light from the same store. Both were caught on video tape. The sheriff's office even boasted in a news release: "...here are a couple of fellows that felt their minor thefts would go unnoticed by sheriff's deputies. Guess they thought we were too busy to care. But guys, petit theft is against the law. And we caught you on tape!"

Don't touch the canine deployment device

Today's lesson: Never touch a cop's "canine deployment device.'' It happened today in Lakelandtoday when a K-9 officer investigating a landlord-tenant dispute lost control of his police dog, police said. Officer Ted Sealey was speaking to someone who touched the officer's shirt pocket where he keeps his "canine deployment device,'' which automatically opens the car door. Trained to protect his police handler, the dog went after 14-year-old Shakeira Smiley, who was taken to Lakeland Regional Medical Center for treatment of minor injuries.

Police link football argument to slaying

An argument about the Green Bay Packers-Seattle Seahawks playoff football game led to the beating death of a Lakeland bar owner who had hit a customer in the head with a beer bottle, authorities told The Ledger in Lakeland. Four teens and a 21-year-old were arrested on charges related to the slaying of Richard Oaks, who owned the Par 33 Lounge in Lakeland where the beer bottle incident occurred. Among those arrested: the 17-year-old daughter of the man Oaks struck in the head with the bottle. The group was enraged and vowed to do something about it, a sheriff's spokeswoman said. Oaks' wife, Stephanie, got home about 4 a.m. and she found him dead. The man who was hit with the bottle was not involved and won't be charged.

Student wanted extra credit, teacher suggests sex

A Bartow High student wanted a better grade in math class, and her Bartow High teacher had a suggestion, The Ledger in Lakeland reports. But performing oral sex was not what she had in mind, so she told the principal, who called her parents and the cops, who put a wire on her and listened as he dropped his pants in the teachers' lounge restroom. Isaac Nathan Tillis, 29, was arrested after he emerged from a bathroom with the 16-year-old girl.