The grocery store: Pajama party, U.S.A.!

The other night, I had a case of crankypantsitis. Students of science and medicine know there is one prescription: cookie dough, Diet Coke and DVDs.

My guy and I hit Blockbuster, then a very nice Publix. Once inside, I trembled in fear. On the quick grocery trip, I witnessed people wearing the following items of, er, apparel:

• Four pairs pajama pants
• Three "muscle" shirts (six male armpits)
• One halter dress, exposing dingy, frayed bra on verge of snapping to liberty
• Too many dirty flip-flops to comprehend
• One tube top, and therewith, zero bras
• One T-shirt reading, I crap you not, "Boone's Farm Babe"
• One pair mesh basketball shorts paired with braided leather businessman loafers, as if to say, "Was too busy watching "West Wing" to find proper pants, but dang, I really needed this Moose Tracks ice cream like WHOA."
• A SCRUNCHIE
• A PARTIAL NIPPLE

Yes, a nipple. On the way out, we glimpsed a teenager wearing a top too low-cut for a foam party in Ibiza. I turned to my shell-shocked boyfriend, who had simply meant to do a good deed involving Nestle:

Me: "Um. Was that nipple?"
Him: *long silence*  "Yes, actually, I believe that was nipple."

When did the supermarket stop being a public place? Why does the pursuit of Pizza Rolls make reasonable folks dress like escapees from the Wacko Jacko Institute of Boudoir Wear?

I know we're tired. We work hard and pay taxes. We dash out last minute, because, WHO ATE ALL THE TOASTER STRUDEL? I'm not suggesting evening gowns for the store, or even lipstick. But level with me - people still SEE you. It's not a racquet club steam room. For the love of all things holy, we're dealing with open-air food here! THINK OF THE TOMATOES.

I implore you, fair nation. Take back clothes at the supermarket! A vote for pants is a vote for change!

(Paid for by the National Coalition to Keep Pajamas in Bedrooms, Inc.)

~ Deal Diva Stephanie

Photos: Times files

Comments

[melissa]

So you mean to tell me that after I exercise I need to run home take a shower then go to the grocery store? Don't think so...my time is valuable and if the store is on my way home from the gym I am going in my work out gear! Not trying to impress every Publix shopper in town! Don't care to either...

I know how to dress when I go to work,restaurants etc... if I want to wear my gym attire to Publix don't look at me focus on buying your damn food and mind your own business! Get the stick up from out your a-- while your at it !

Now going in PJ'S is tacky but not everyone is coming from a business meeting to run to Publix... some people! please!

[THyink]

Hey Moved Away: Don't blame it on Florida. Florida is mostly made up of Yankees(mostly northeasterners)who have brought down this area.

[THyink]

I totally agree with your article!! The sad thing is this happens at restaurants too.

[John]

and the fat chick in spandex

the old lady dressed like she is a hot twenty year old

the kid with the hat on... with the stickers till on it

the trench coat... in July

[D]

David, I was just teasing, for the record. We're all friends here. :)

Ted! I can do you one better than bare feet; there was a guy in the Publix on Gandy that was chewing tobacco and didn't have a... erm... *receptacle* for the waste, and so he was spitting on the floor!!! I had to leave! I got physically nauseous! Gross!

[Mary]

My rule of thumb is - would you want to run into your boss if you go out in public dressed that way. I'm not saying anyone should go shopping in their work clothes. Another thing: Don't people shower on weekends? Most of these people look like they just got out of bed (I've even seen sheet wrinkles on people!)

[Carrie]

OMG! A SCRUNCHIE?!?!?!?!? HOW DARE YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!! Are you seriously putting that in the same class as partial nipple and exposed body parts? Get a life.

[Banglijk]

I have a neighbor I see out quite often running to the store or on other errands and is always dressed to the nines, designer dresses, hair perfect, makeup perfect. The fact that my neighbor is a dude bothers me somewhat, though.

[anon]

Publix, yes. But wear whatever you want to 7-11, especially in the middle of the night.

[Jeremy]

I was in FYE music once and saw two girls wearing frilly, lacey, bedroom-wear corsets and hot pants. they were talking, and had just gotten the corsets on a great sale at frederick's. They couldn't understand why more people didn't wear them.

[Khan of the Wastelands]

I wouldn't mind seeing a few nipples at the grocery store if they're the right nipples.

[Moved away to find some class]

Welcome to Florida! A complete lack of decency and common sense reeks throughout most of the state. I am a super casual, don't expect me to wear a suit unless you are paying double six figures, kind of girl, but good lord people need to get a grip and put on some clothes. I don't want to see your new boob job - I don't even know you!!! And honey, if you have handles and a huge gut, you really, really shouldn't wear those low cut jeans with a thong.

[Ted]

How about the trash down here that do not have shoes on. Up north half of the people in the stories down here would be thrown out.

[andy]

As long as I get to see a nipple or two I'll keep doing the shopping, when the thongs and nipples go away, the wife has to start going on her own!

[David]

D - I'm not behind enemy lines at all. I personally don't leave the house without getting dressed. However, if I decided I wanted to go out in my jammies, I would and I wouldn't feel guilty or ashamed. My point is that what someone wears shouldn't be for anyone elses gratification but their own. By the way, I've been wearing my big boy voice for many years, and it fits just fine thanks.

[Marge]

A SCRUNCHIE????? What in the world is wrong with going to the grocery store with your hair in a ponytail? OMG, I wear them to work! Have I been committing some horrible hair faux pas all these years? Please enlighten me!

[Sally Bradley]

This has long been the norm in Florida. People in NYC and Boston actually dress appropriately when they shop for food, and they wear suits, they actually dress up! Imagine that. THEY MAKE THE EFFORT and they have respect for those around them. Florida is in its own little universe/downward spiral of social deterioration and obliteration of manners. Southern manners are a long forgotten forgone conclusion and promise of civility. Sad.

[Sarah]

I can't even go to the Pinellas Park Wal-Mart because some of the things people wear in there are so unbelievable. I know it's Wal-Mart but STILL...

I, too, never leave the house in less than jeans and a tee. I can be sick and running to CVS for drugs but I still GET DRESSED!!!

My biggest pet peeve is muscle tees. I can't stand the hairy man-pit...does that make me prudish?

[Homeless]

Let's all run to Sax Fifth Ave so that these folks won't be offended. Everybody has nipples.

[Kim]

Somebody explain to me how people put on items that they would not wear in front of their family, get in the car and roam the supermarket aisles! Can't people just have some common decency and put on some clean clothes that are made for outside wear? This isn't the early 80's with the Madonna craze with underwear as outerwear.

[Chris]

it isn't just the pajamas folks are wearing in public, it is also the stuff they think is ok to wear to work. I work in a local hospital, and those folks that don't have to wear a uniform or scrubs, come to work looking like they are headed for the beach, I just have a problem with flip flops in an office enviroment, or capri pants (not dressy one either)thanks for letting me
rant.

[D]

Wow. David found himself behind enemy lines and decided to try on his big-boy voice. :)

If you're not interested in fashion, good sir, this is no safe haven!

It doesn't take guts to wear pajamas to Publix, it takes apathy!

[David]

Wear what you want people! It is a free country. If you aren't breaking the law and exposing your naughty bits, you're all good. The fashion police can do nothing but judge and criticize. Besides, they are just jealous that they don't have the guts to wear their jammies and crocs to the store.

[starfish]

Ahh...I currently live next to that Publix you guys speak of. Its awful and I think it only gets worse everytime I go there.

[Stephanie Hayes]

Ah, good call Amanda, but alas, mine is near Largo. I used to live by the Publix you speak of in college, and spent many a night there buying chicken nuggets and Arbor Mist. But never in PJs!

[Amanda]

This sounds like the Publix on Bruce B. Downs, since it is right next to a Blockbuster and full of college kids who simply do not care.

[Stephanie Hayes]

Glad to hear it! You can just show up at 11 a.m. on the day, if your schedule is up in the air. Or, go to highheelhike.com and register early. Bring friends! Be sure join the Deal Divas team. Not that the other teams aren't awesome, but, you know.

[starfish]

Steph- Im definitely going to try to do it. Its still up in the air of what saturday I have to work this month. Is there any signing up that I have to do or just show up in hyde park with my heels on??? haha.

Sharon, I completely agree with teh airport thing. I think its really gross what people are wearing these days. Like seriously?? I understand you want comfort, but jeans are comfort too. Even if you just put a tshirt on with them. But please dont make the people that have to sit next to you feel like their gonna vomit because of your nastiness. ha.

[Sharon]

Ugh, you've hit on one of my pet peeves. To me, it's not just pride but also manners. People just act as if their comfort is the only thing that matters. That must explain all the barefoot children I see in stores. Yuck.

And how come nobody ever dresses for the airport anymore?

[Christina]

I thought I was the only one that noticed this! I just dont understand! Some of the things I see people wearing out, I wouldn't wear around my house.....and I live alone.

[Stephanie Hayes]

Egads, Starfish, unacceptable roommate! Hey, you gonna do the High Heel Hike with us? We need your star-shaped support!

[starfish]

I totally agree with you 100%! I never leave the house in anything less then jeans. I have gone to Target once in non jean apparel, and that was a quick stop on my way home from the gym. So I looked like I was at the gym, not going to bed. I had a roommate that used to wear pajamas everywhere and I hated it. Please people, we dont want to see your pajama wear at all! Keep that at home!

[Tracey]

Amen sister! Nephew said to me upon a recent Publix aisle stroll after passing a pajama-clad couple in baked goods: "I can't wait until I'm in a grown-up relationship to wear my Christmas Snoopy pajama pants in public."

Seriously, throw on some daytime cotton, people. It ain't cute.