The other day, I donned a pair of black tights and promptly saw a tiny run around the knee area. Immediately, the Tacky Devil and the Stylish Angel on my shoulders dispensed their wisdom.
Tacky Devil: Child, please. Don't worry about that minuscule hole. Your skirt is long enough to cover it. It'll only show when you sit down, and you don't have any important meetings today. Just put a dab of this fire engine nail polish on it to stop the run. Bellisima!
Stylish Angel: Distract from the hole by painting it red? Who raised you -- Janice Dickinson? Listen Steph. THROW THEM AWAY. We know you need to shave, but just suck it up and wear pants until you can get new tights. They're like $3 at CVS. Don't be a cheap skeeve.
TD: Cheap skeeve? Who died and made you Sarah Ferguson? I'm pretty sure I saw that chintzy halo you're sporting on the $4.99 rack at the liquidating Rave next to the Pawn-n-Gun Emporium.
SA: Oh really? You would know about Rave, wouldn't you? Don't let me hold you up. I don't want you to be late for your lunchtime shift on the pole.
TD: Oh, IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG, B!
SA: BRING IT, HOMESLICE. I'll lasso you with your holey pantyhose and send you back to the left shoulder where you belong!
Those two. Always at it! I decided to embrace both their good points. I ditched the pair with the run and opted for a crazy-looking pair with a flower design that would delight anyone with a dormant tacky streak. But it turns out, I would have been right in style if I had just listened fully to Tacky Devil. Exhibit A:
This photo is straight from backstage at the Monique Lhuillier 2009 fall show at New York Fashion Week this month. Indeed, the princess dressmaker toughened up her fairy tale wares with some old-fashioned ripped panthyhose.
Similarly, celeb tartlets have been strutting around with airholes up and down their legs. Check out these pics of Miley Cyrus and 90210's Shenae Grimes.
I don't know. The miser in me likes the thought that my tights can live forever, but this look may be a little much to actually pull off.
Stylish Angel: That's right, Steph. I'm glad we had this talk. I'm proud of how far you've come.
Tacky Devil: Don't listen to her, rock star. She's a buzzkill. MILEY FOREVER!
~ Deal Diva Stephanie
Photo: AP














Stephanie Hayes came out of the womb wearing high heels. While other kids were reciting multiplication tables, she was learning to calculate an extra third off the half-price discount during buy-one-get-one week. She loves animal prints, black mascara and anything that sparkles. She objects to visible panty lines, Crocs and anything that costs more than a car payment. And she doesn't drive a nice car. She can be reached at (727) 893-8857 or
Since she was a little girl Nicole Hutcheson dreamed of dressing like a Vogue cover girl. But her reality was more JCPenney catalog. The fact only honed her better ability to find luxury for less. Always on the hunt for markdowns on designer labels, this Deal Diva’s weaknesses are good jeans and killer heels. She can be reached at (727) 893-8828 or
Colleen Jenkins learned two invaluable shopping tenets from her mom: 1. Buy quality. 2. Get it on sale. Then she added one of her own: Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize! This Deal Diva’s idea of a blissful Saturday includes a trip to the Ellenton outlet mall. She loves mixing classic with trendy and cheap Target accessories with her markdown Banana Republic duds. She can be reached at (813) 226-3337 or
A disciple of the little black dress classics school, Letitia Stein stretches her budget by looking for styles with staying power. She lives for 80 percent off shoes at DSW, floral sundresses and bohemian chic tops. She confesses to being a bit of a snob when it comes to handbags and jewelry. She can be reached at (813) 226-3400 or
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