Fashion advice for Corey Feldman/Michael Jackson, we forget which one
Dearest Corey Feldman,
Loved you in the Lost Boys! You were soooo great in Stand By Me. And I'm not going to lie, I even watched your wedding on the Surreal Life.
My FAVORITE, though, was when you threw that dog out the window and started dressing like Bridget Fonda in Single White Female! That was a totally brilliant performance. I mean, you looked JUST LIKE HER, and...
Hmm? Whassat? What do you mean that wasn't you? Because I thought...
Ooh. Awkward. So, uh... you just stole Michael Jackson's identity at the memorial service for funsies, then? It's not, like, for another role?
Woo boy. Well, Corey Feldman, since I have your attention...
We here at Deal Divas like to dispense fashion advice, and here is some friendly funeral know-how that everyone can use: DON'T DRESS LIKE THE PERSON WHO JUST DIED.
Oh sure, a memorial T-shirt works. You might even wear the deceased's favorite color! But I sincerely dissuade you from donning a custom Michael Jackson stalker uniform, complete with military piping, fedora and styling gel-a-plenty. It's tacky, and a little terrifying if we're being honest.
Think of it this way -- when Aunt Doris dies, will you wear her favorite dress, the one screen-printed with the Eiffel Tower? Will you wear her Dusky Dawn control top Leggs? When Grandpa goes, will you opt for his WWII windbreaker and "WINNER OF BEST GRANDPA AWARD" baseball cap? I should hope not.
I'm glad we had this talk. Try a little harder not to be creepy next time, will you? I have to go now. Desperately Seeking Susan just came on! You were so good in that.
Forever yours,
~ Deal Diva Stephanie
Photo: AP shot of Corey Feldman arriving creepily at Michael Jackson's memorial service Tuesday.
Stephanie Hayes came out of the womb wearing high heels. While other kids were reciting multiplication tables, she was learning to calculate an extra third off the half-price discount during buy-one-get-one week. She loves animal prints, black mascara and anything that sparkles. She objects to visible panty lines, Crocs and anything that costs more than a car payment. And she doesn't drive a nice car. She can be reached at (727) 893-8857 or 
Since she was a little girl Nicole Hutcheson dreamed of dressing like a Vogue cover girl. But her reality was more JCPenney catalog. The fact only honed her better ability to find luxury for less. Always on the hunt for markdowns on designer labels, this Deal Diva’s weaknesses are good jeans and killer heels. She can be reached at (727) 893-8828 or 
Colleen Jenkins learned two invaluable shopping tenets from her mom: 1. Buy quality. 2. Get it on sale. Then she added one of her own: Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize! This Deal Diva’s idea of a blissful Saturday includes a trip to the Ellenton outlet mall. She loves mixing classic with trendy and cheap Target accessories with her markdown Banana Republic duds. She can be reached at (813) 226-3337 or 
A disciple of the little black dress classics school, Letitia Stein stretches her budget by looking for styles with staying power. She lives for 80 percent off shoes at DSW, floral sundresses and bohemian chic tops. She confesses to being a bit of a snob when it comes to handbags and jewelry. She can be reached at (813) 226-3400 or 
F those comments. Cory, You are a very, very underated actor. It seems some people live to complain. I think that makes them creepy. Remember and love MJ the way you want to. Good luck in the future. It is too bad that Helm screwed up your show. It was cool, just like you were at the service. And REMEMBER, smile just like the lyrics say in Michaels favorite song. F those clowns. Maybe they should read the lyrice in Man in the Mirror. Good luck,MAKE SOME MOVIES. Those creeps are just upset that you had a friendship with him. Being jealous can be so CREEPY. Have a long and happy life.
Posted by: joe | July 10, 2009 at 09:12 PM
Give the guy a break. He apparently was so fond of Michael that he felt dressing like him was his way of showing his love. What about Billy Mays bearers? Dont be haten.
Posted by: mike | July 10, 2009 at 08:58 PM
Didn't people do the same thing at Billy Mays' funeral? Khakis and blue shirts.
Posted by: olde40oz | July 09, 2009 at 07:38 AM
Steph, I could not agree with you more. I gasped when I saw a picture of his creepy self yesterday...Why, why, why??
Posted by: Deal Diva Colleen | July 08, 2009 at 06:09 PM
Sad, but a tremendously funny scolding. Bravo, Stephanie!
Posted by: Marissa | July 08, 2009 at 05:17 PM