Chateau Soho

Can you tell in the first minute of sitting in a restaurant whether it will be good or not? I would posit yes, much of the time. There’s a social psychologist named Nalini Ambady who does work in “thin slices,” or judgments made about people based on very little data. She says we’re pretty good at that as a species. (But who knows, maybe fish are better.)

Case in point, this weekend: Went to Chateau Soho on South Howard in Tampa. It was formerly a Pepto Dismal pink and called Chateau France and I can’t remember what it was before that.

From the moment I sat down, I braced for impact. Vermillion walls and weird little curtains at glass-brick windows, plus corny stained-glass windows waaaay high on the walls. The restaurant is stuck with an albatross of a space, but a designer could nibble at the margins a bit.

What last year was straight-ahead old school French has become Creole French, at least in name.

Perfunctory doesn’t begin to describe the veggie that appears on every plate: those tiny bagged carrots steamed soft with onion in an aggressively sweet sauce. I think that carrots as a side vegetable generally is risky behavior, especially if it’s those whittled little guys. Too much like school lunch. Anyway, meats come under way too much sauce, dessert soufflés are undercooked, the bread’s compound butter is a yucky combination of flavors (strawberry and pesto, for real).

I think the kitchen needs to think deep thoughts. Chateau Soho is right across the street from MacDinton’s, the most thronged hangout in all of Tampa. How to get some of those folks to walk across the street for dinner? Give them something fun, moderately priced, accessible and not too big a commitment. But also something that fills a void (OK, there’s gelato, Chinese, tapas, and Mexican/Southwest nearby—that leaves a lot of options).

So, what do I do with a meal like that? Basically, I don't review it for the paper. People already seem NOT to be going here, and unless something changes significantly, they probably won't. (Recently I thought I'd review Novo on Fourth in St. Petersburg. Another too-bad-to-review-and-no-one-seems-to-be-eating-here-anyway situation. Found out on Friday that it's closed.)

Comments

[Ed C.]

I loved "Blink." But one of the almost-conclusions was that to thin slice reliably it paid to be an expert. It would be good to know if there is a "four horsemen" analysis for restaurants as there is for marriages.

How about...?

1) servers haven't tasted the food and/or are stumped for recommendations

2) anything on the menu involves sun-dried tomato

3) smell of bug spray

4) kitchen/servers are incapable of altering a plate at the patron's request (no, we can't replace those fries with salad)

[jaywalker]

walk across the street in Tampa? That's really tempting fate. You need a car to cross anywhere there. How are people going to get to these places when gas climbs to 20 buck per. Don't think it won't happen; Then it won't matter how good the food is, unless they deliver...

[Richard Guzinya]

Where I live we have organic purple, yellow, and orange cute little spindly carrots that just make you want to be a hobbit, or Grateful Dead tour-head. With a carrot, clove of garlic, my spice rack, and some stock or broth, I could recreate the last supper. Why do folks persist in arguing that carrot "nubs", iceberg lettuce, russet potatoes, and 3-day old cauliflower count as vegetables? Don't even let me start on way over-steamed friggin' zuccinni!!! Let us begin the veggie revolution. Let us cast off these shackles of tuna casseroles and baloney on grilled cheese. Please lead the way, Mouth. Be our champion to discover the Champignon ... yes, lo - the chanterelle, the morrel, the porcini! Hell, I have even embraced steamed chard and found ways of making it orgasmic. Let us rally and frolic and implore our culinary breathren to rise up. I have spoken. RG

[dreaming]

thanks for confirming my hypothesis on this place. however, i think there are many who can judge a restaurant w/o ever even setting foot in the place, never mind within 5 mins of sitting down.

i think this woebegone joint is a fine case in point.

[The Mouth]

Ed, I love the four horsemen idea. May I wantonly steal it? And Richard, I'm right there with you about casting off the shackles of tuna casserole. But it could get messy.

[Culinary Sherpa #2]

42nd Street Cafe. That's what was there before Chateau France or Viva La France, or whatever.
There is something endearing about old school veggies (carrots, yellow squash, etc.) but, just steaming them and throwing some random seasoning on the plate is inexcusable. What about a brown butter and carrot emulsion gently draping a firm fish? Or a zucchini parpadelle with lavender sea salt? These aren't new concepts, but they are good concepts.

[Jimbo]

When it was 42nd St., it was pretty decent in both food and atmosphere. The recent incarnations are the brainchildren of a husband and wife team of attorneys. I don't know about you but I wouldn't want Bobby Flay to defend me against a felony charge.

[JG]

Jimbo ... That one-liner about Bobby Flay and defending you against a felony charge ... is hysterical!

[A. Smedley]

Mouth, you may have dealt another "death blow" to a Tampa dining establishment. I noticed the other day in traversing South Howard that Chateau Soho is reincarnated as something else now. Still the relatively tasteful taupe colored exterior which replaced the Pepto Bismol pink. I refuse to investigate whether those carrots are still on the menu. These Chateaux must really think you have it out for them! What you harbor a grudge against Charles DeGaulle and Georges Pompidou?