Irvine and heavy metal?

My high school guidance counselor said I was basically a good egg, but that I kneecapped myself by being somewhat easily distracted. So now that I've been at the Times for almost exactly a year, finally a full-fledged adult, I have changed my ways. I'm focused now, unswerving.

I am the Robert-Irvine-and-mercury-in-fish reporter for the paper. As such, I bring you this:

If you're a fan of Robert Irvine, there's a campaign afoot to petition the Food Network to keep him in their lineup. Go here to find out more.

And then there's mercury in fish. If you love sushi, here's a list of lower-mercury fish, followed by list of higher-mercury fish. Go here for the full story.

LOWER MERCURY: (Less than 0.29 parts per million)

Akagai (ark shell)
Anago (conger eel)
Aoyagi (round clam)
Awabi (abalone)
Ayu (sweetfish)
Ebi (shrimp)
Hamaguri (clam)
Hamo (pike conger; sea eel)
Hatahata (sandfish)
Himo (ark shell)
Hokkigai (surf clam)
Hotategai (scallop)
Ika (squid)
Ikura (salmon roe)
Kaibashira (shellfish)
Kani (crab)
Karei (flatfish)
Kohada (gizzard shad)
Masago (smelt egg)
Masu (trout)
Mirugai (surf clam)
Sake (salmon)
Sayori (halfbeak)
Shako (mantis shrimp)
Tai (sea bream)
Tairagai (razor-shell clam)
Tako (octopus)
Tobikko (flying fish egg)
Torigai (cockle)
Tsubugai (shellfish)
Unagi (freshwater eel)
Uni (sea urchin roe)

HIGHER MERCURY: (More than 0.3 parts per million)

Ahi (yellowfin tuna)
Aji (horse mackerel)
Buri (adult yellowtail)
Hamachi (young yellowtail)
Inada (very young yellowtail)
Kanpachi (very young yellowtail)
Katsuo (bonito)
Kajiki (swordfish)
Maguro (bigeye, bluefin or yellowfin tuna)
Makjiki (blue marlin)
Meji (young bigeye, bluefin or yellowfin tuna)
Saba (mackerel)
Sawara (Spanish mackerel)
Seigo (young sea bass)
Shiro (albacore tuna)
Suzuki (sea bass)
Toro (bigeye, bluefin or yellowfin tuna)

Comments

[Ed C.]

Okay, so what's the difference between very young yellowtail and very young yellowtail? Also, it's time for you to break wide open that other little food story...tiny marshmallows. What gives?

[The Mouth]

Ed, I know nada about inada vs. kanpachi. They're just very, very young, OK?

And as per tiny marshmallows, that story is about to rocket to 1A. Maybe I'll even start making my own.

[Ed C.]

Tiny marshmallows are the veal of confections--morally suspect. If you can print that story I'll frame it for you.

[dwight]

You are the food critic. Let's get some godd am food news. If you want to be the Irvine biographer resign from the Times and allow someone else to report area food news to the readers.

[JM]

Now Dwight, my man, that's not very nice. Didn't your momma teach you how to properly talk to the ladies? Tsk tsk.

By the way, don't you mean, she should become the Irvine...wait for it...novelist? (In my best Stewie Griffin voice: Huhhhh? Hhhnnnnnn? Novelist? Get it?)

Sorry, that was too easy. I'm ashamed of myself now.